Celebrity Watch USA: The Royal Wedding, Hollywood Style

This week the US has full-blown Royal Wedding fever, which takes the edge off homophobic basketball stars, sleepy politicians and Kimora Lee Simmons "Baby Phat"
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This week the US has full-blown Royal Wedding fever, which takes the edge off homophobic basketball stars, sleepy politicians and Kimora Lee Simmons "Baby Phat"

Bald Prince

The US is getting excited about the Royal Wedding. The TV channel E! even has an on-screen counter showing how many days are left till the big day. The presenters on E! are getting so psyched they are even calling the county Kate Middleton is from “Brookshire.” A place that exists nowhere on earth.

On the Today Show the other week they focused on what really matters about the story. Prince William’s bald spot. After showing endless shots of his scalp they came to the conclusion, with a headline across the screen declaring:

“He makes up for his baldness as he is a Prince.”

So just so you know, all other bald people. You better become royalty quick sharp or you are nothing.

Look out

The Royal Wedding keeps popping up all over. Entertainment news juggernaut US Weekly is on the case with classy headlines such as:

“What will Kate wear under her wedding dress?”

They also have the latest factual scoops such as:

“The future king's "I do" outfit is being kept under lock and key, literally, an insider told USmagazine.com. The suit is stashed at a hidden location and when it's time to move it, a bullet-proof vehicle will be used, the source explained.”

A bullet-proof car for a suit. Who shoots a suit?

Kobe Beef

Kobe Bryant was fined $100k this week for a homophobic slur on a referee. Have a look at the video here.

Bryant has since apologised stating:

“My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period.  The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings toward the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone.”

Not meant to offend anyone? Not even the referee who he directly shouted at? I mean the ref probably loves being called a ‘fucking faggot’ live on television, by one of the most famous sportsman in the world.

Also, it would also seem that out of frustration and during the heat of the apology Kobe Bryant also forgot to use the word “Sorry.”

I mean if you were sitting on trillions of dollars in deficit it would probably disrupt your sleeping patterns too. That and Obama does have a lovely soft voice to drift off to.

90% Sure

The issue of abortion nearly shut down the US government last week. With the Republicans and Democrats deadlocked on agreeing a budget one of the sticking issues was the funding of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is a nationwide family planning clinic.

Senator John Kyl of the Republicans defended holding out over such an issue claiming abortion is “well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.”

Quite the claim. In England, where abortion doesn’t even get a mention politically this may all seem a bit odd. But in the US it is a hot button issue. Federal funding of abortion has been banned since 1976. So if you believed that your tax money was funding an organisation that almost solely deals in abortions then you may have the right to protest.

But wait. In reality, it was later revealed that just 3% percent of its work is related to abortion. A simple rounding error of 87%.

So naturally people wanted to know why an elected official could get his facts so wrong while speaking in the Senate. Well don’t worry, this Senator isn’t bad at math. When pressed on this issue his office explained:

“His remark was not intended to be a factual statement.”

Oh, he was lying. Well that’s ok then.

Sleepy Vice.

The deadlock was finally broken. Good news. Who doesn’t love a good budget? Well, maybe the Vice President Joe Biden doesn’t. While his line manager Obama was up on stage outlining the new budget it would seem Biden fell asleep. See the video here.

I mean if you were sitting on trillions of dollars in deficit it would probably disrupt your sleeping patterns too. That and Obama does have a lovely soft voice to drift off to.

Loss

Kimora Lee Simmons, ex wife of Russell Simmons has revealed the secret to her losing 25 pounds of weight in an interview.

"I shed the fat by not eating," adding "But I don't like to tell the kids that so they think they shouldn't eat."

Good old starvation but don’t tell the kids. Or in an interview published online, reported worldwide and read by thousands. Just as long as your kids are ok though yeah?

It also has to be noted that Kimora runs a fashion line named “Baby Phat” which specialises in clothes for plus size women.

Furthermore, US Weekly, who report this interview, also cover themselves in glory by providing three photo gallery links as part of the article with the titles of:

PHOTOS: Kimora and other stars with fabulous post-baby bodies

PHOTOS: Sexy bikini bodies

PHOTOS: Hollywood's best body winners

Endorsing starvation as a way to weight loss? God bless you US Weekly.

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