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Celebrity Watch USA: Weiner's Weiner, Fake Obama And The Playboy Bunny

by Tom Greaney
21 June 2011 5 Comments

Anthony Weiner let's it all hang out, Republicans hire a fake Obama and the Playboy bunny who won't be pursuing that career in astro physics after all.

Anthony Weiner resigned this week. The Democrat and one time potential future Mayor of New York had been gaining a lot of fans in recent months with passionate performances such as in the video below:

Then the other week it’s all come crashing down when it was alleged that the member of congress sent out a picture of his member on twitter. Bloody twitter. It will be the death of us all.

Weiner took the problem a little too head on. He made himself very available to interviews. A few too many interviews. He went with the claim the photo was sent out due to an account hacking but that he couldn’t with any “certitude” confirm if it was a photo of his sexual organ or not. He seemed pretty brave taking on the media to clear his name. He had a lot of support and it looked as if the only unfortunate photos he would be caught posing for, featuring his last name, would be like the one below:

Then, well, more photos came out. Many more photos clearly showing he had been doing this for a while. Then exchanged text messages were leaked, which were dramatically read out on TV by Bill Maher and that tall coach woman from Glee. Then it was revealed his wife was pregnant. It was game over. This week he resigned in an ill thought through press conference where the general public was able to shout out “Goodbye Pervert” and question certain body lengths while he was speaking.

All in all it’s been an excellent example of how not to deal with a situation where a picture of a penis is sent out from your own personal twitter account when your last name is Weiner. A lesson to you Ed Balls and John Boehner.

Fake Obama

The Republicans, surely on a high from the end of a high profile Democrat didn’t take too long basking in the moral high ground. Last weekend at the Republican Leadership Conference they thought it would be a good idea to hire an Obama impersonator.

Seemed like a good idea until Reggie Brown, the impersonator, started doing his bit. Highlights being how First Lady celebrated all of Black History Month, yet the bi-racial president only celebrated half the month and other one-line zingers such as “My mother loved a black man, and she was not a Kardashian.”

All great stuff. Well, until he got pulled offstage before the end of his act. Maybe they realized it wasn’t the best idea. Yer know, racial jokes about a black president in front of a political party that may well not be racist, but are number one with racists.

Will.i.am

The Black Eyed Peas have more corporate deals and sponsorships than any other group or person in music. Impressive. They are dedicated to their art, having each individually swallowed an auto tune machine into their system in the mid-noughties.

Will.i.am was on French telly the other week performing his well-known talents. Unfortunately when it came for his time to sing he couldn’t remember the lyrics the team of highly paid Scandinavian writers had composed for him. So he, like we all do when in times of doubt, looked at his phone.

To be fair, it must be difficult. I mean the Black Eyed Peas are confusing aren’t they? The first big song they released, turning their back on their underground roots after they decided to make money rather than music, was “Where is the Love?” a song about bringing the world together and treating everyone with respect. Where is the love, they asked? A good question. A question not answered by the next song they released, entitled “Shut up.” As I say, confusing.

Easy Right Winger

Peter Fonda was in Cannes saying some mad stuff recently. Such as the odd claim that: “I’m training my grandchildren to use long-range rifles. For what purpose? Well, I’m not going to say the words ‘Barack Obama,’ but …”

Strange thing to say in public isn’t it? At least there isn’t a history of American Presidents being shot. Fonda later said. “I came here many years ago with a biker movie, and we stopped a war. Now, it’s about starting the world.”

“I’m training my grandchildren to use long-range rifles. For what purpose? Well, I’m not going to say the words ‘Barack Obama,’ but …”

This is the sort of person we need to listen to. A freedom fighter that trains his grandchildren with guns. A maverick, that emails foul-mouthed abuse to the President of the United States. A man that believes biker movies end wars. Biker movies always end wars. You may remember Wild Hogs (2007) starring Tim Allen and John Travolta ending the Iraq War. It did. Honest.

Though some of you may be too young to remember the biker film No Limit (1935) starring George Formby that brought the Second Italo-Abyssinian War to a close.

Hugh Hefner

We end with heartbreak this week due to the cancellation of the wedding of Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris, when Crystal got cold feet. It was all looking so good for the 25 years old Playmate and the 85 year Editor of Playboy as well.

When asked, in an exclusive interview with Entertainment Tonight, why she called off the wedding she said, whilst fighting back tears:

“It became apparent that I wasn’t the only woman in his life.”

It became apparent? Hugh Hefner? Before you say yes to marriage with a reality TV show star I would recommend renting out the box set of the show they were in. In this case “Bunnies of the Playboy Mansion” a reality TV show about Hugh Hefner and his three girlfriends.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Johnny L 4:12 pm, 22-Jun-2011

I have a $50 bet with a bloke at work Wiener will top himself by years end. He's unbalanced. Crying. I think it's Peter Fonda movies that end wars not biker movies. He's just been modest. Google it. These are just a few examples. Ulee's Gold End of First Congo War 1997. The Cannonball Run End of Lebanese Civil War 1981. Outlaw Blues End of Shaba 1 Fuckers soon started Shaba 2 but Peter was on the case and quickly brought out High Ballin' and Ended that one too. Fonda ends wars. Fact.

darklighter 5:25 pm, 22-Jun-2011

Peter Fonda...PETER FONDA!?!?!?...ahem...Peter Fonda is a right winger? Ummm when? Where? Might wanna get your head outa your ass on that one. Just because a man dislikes the President and the direction of this country it doesn't quite make them a sudden conservative.

Tom Greaney 7:48 pm, 22-Jun-2011

Cheers Johnny, always enjoy your comments. I now publicly apologise to Fonda.

Johnny L 5:30 pm, 23-Jun-2011

Enjoy your articles Tom. Comments are easier than articles.

sylvia holtzman 1:12 am, 24-Jun-2011

Happy to see you returning to your great skills. So many topics. Since when did Fonda become such an icon.. Only thing famous about him is his dad and his sister. There is suppose to be a playboy program in the near future. I think this may be a publicity stunt. The guy is 85. She is ?

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