Dancing 101

Can't dance? Rather than embarrassing yourself down the pub why not let the er, 'experts' show you how it's done?
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Can't dance? Rather than embarrassing yourself down the pub why not let the er, 'experts' show you how it's done?

So, you think you can dance? Yeah, me too, but the fat lip I sustained after my attempted Diversity head spinning impression would suggest otherwise. Youtube is useful for all manner of things like finding clips of animals that talk (yes we do believe they’re really talking) to posting your latest plea for Rpatz to dump Kstew but, by far its best use is for looking up dance tutorials and, just for you, we’ve put together 5 of the best so you can truly get down with the kids on the dance floor and all that jazz and um, stuff. For a really authentic effect get your housemates/boyfriend/mum to flick the living room lights on and off, it will be just like a discothèque (kind of).

Beyonce: Single Ladies

First it was Destiny’s Child who had us all shaking our ‘jelly’ and let’s not lie, the majority of people weren’t even slightly ready for what we had going on. Then, after a string of dancetastic hits Beyonce came out with the mother of all routines, that’s right, it’s Single Ladies. And, now Miss. Knowles is saying she’s not going to do the dance on tour anymore after too many people mimicking her (she clearly doesn’t know imitation is the greatest form of flattery) we’ve taken that to mean it’s ok to claim it as our own. So get learning and perform it (possibly badly) at nightclubs, friend’s weddings and bar mitzvahs up and down the country. The leotard is, of course, optional.

Soulja Boy: Crank That

Soulja sounds like sounds like solider even though he’s clearly not a solider so we’re guessing that his name means Soul ja, which, we’re guessing means he has a lot of soul yes! Because everyone knows that ja means yes in like Italian or… something. Anyway… if you want to learn how to get down with your gangster homies then this is the dance for you, this guy’s so gangster he's got subtitles for god's sake, yes that's right SUBTITLES! It’s like the Macerena of the noughties but with cute men rather than slightly old Spanish ones.

Lady Gaga: Bad Romance

Meet Marissa, who, luckily for you, seems to have nothing better to do with her time than make dance tutorials for Youtube. In our head she’s a stage school drop-out who decided unwittingly to go it alone into the cold hard world of internet virals. She even says things like ‘break it down’, yes you heard it here first people actually do talk like that in real life. Also, if that wasn’t enough, she’s wearing a cap which, if you squint slightly, makes it look like she only has one eye which adds a rather disturbing/horror movie element to the whole thing. Totally brilliant, totally Gaga.

Michael Jackson: Thriller

If we were to ever write one of those “100 things to do before you die” lists learning a Michael Jackson dance would most certainly be on it and let’s be honest it’s far easier and far less scary than abseiling down the grand canyon (we don’t know if that’s on the imaginary list but it could be). The best thing about this tutorial is that these girls clearly can't dance and therefore you are instantly better than them and being better than someone is of course better than being better than, well, no-one.

Pussycat Dolls: When I Grow Up

The Pussycat Dolls are not renowned sex symbols for no reason and now you can be one too. We don’t mean literally be one, obviously, but you can be one in front of your mirror with a hair brush or that faux Madonna-esque headset you made when you where 13 (yes we still own ours too) and that’s basically just as good. The greatest thing about this vid is that you can't really see "Spikey Lee” your amazing dance instructor’s face and, as such, you can spend your time learning this dance imagining that he is actually really cute. Perfect.

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