Desperately Seeking Ricky

They say romance is dead but it isn’t it’s alive and kicking, well, on our TV screens at least and I for one want a piece of it.
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They say romance is dead but it isn’t it’s alive and kicking, well, on our TV screens at least and I for one want a piece of it.

I’ve been single for two years now, I know, play the violins, check if I’m a lesbian and all that jazz. Generally I love it, I can spend my days perving on, well, anybody, kiss greatly unsuitable men and do whatever the hell I want 24 hours a day. But when you get in and turn on the box (isn’t it annoying when people call it the box, I don’t know why, it just is) then you’re just confronted with all this bloody love/romance/shagging and some general happiness and, quite frankly, it just makes you want to weep into your M&S dinner for one. But rather than actually go out and get a boyfriend (or you know scour plenty of fish - I'm pretty lazy) or commit myself I just live my life vicariously through a series of television couples I wish I was part of...

That Couple From The BT Ads

Adam and Jane. The very fact that I know their names is a testimony to their brilliance as a couple and, perhaps, the fact that I watch too much television. These guys have been around so long that it’s a wonder they haven’t been given their own television series, in fact, if there is anyone reading this with the power to do so I think you should and give me a 50% cut because it was clearly my idea. I mean their just so fucking adorable; Adam moves away and yet somehow they pull through, Jane has those bastard children but Adam loves them all the same, now their getting married it’s like the best love story since, well, love stories began.

Bianca and Ricky – Oh come on you know this one.

Rickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, sorry, just couldn’t help myself. She loves him even though he’s a bit of a wet drip with, if you listen really carefully, a bit of a lisp and he loves her even though she is quite clearly mental and wears a silver puffer jacket – perhaps because she is mental. They’ve broken up and gotten back together more times than I’ve had hot meals – they actually have I only usually eat rice cakes for my tea– yet they’re still going strong. Ok so she fucked her Mum’s boyfriend but everyone makes mistakes, mine are usually like forgetting to put the milk away but you know, live and let live or whatever, these two are just perfect for each other.

Tom And Lynette – Desperate Housewives

Most people asked to pick their favourite couple from Wysteria Lane would almost certainly go for Gabriel and Carlos, this isn’t because they’re the best it’s because Eva Longoria is clearly beautiful and therefore wins at everything. But for me it’s got to be Tom and Lynette. They have about 6000 children and yet this hasn't been enough to put them off each other or having sex - probably how and why they keep popping them out. The also have hot twin sons which is really neither here nor there in terms of this article but worth a mention anyway.

Monica And Chandler – F.R.I.E.N.D.S

All jokes aside this is proper romance init. I mean they were friends and then they fell in love, it’s the sort of thing that makes me want to bulk order Kleenex and listen to Celine Dion. Ok, so Friends finished about 10 years ago now but until they make something even remotely close to how good it is I shall keep watching it and toteing it as one of the best programmes in the world.