I always thought that Missed Connections were the domain of the deluded and desperate. Don’t get me wrong I’m deluded; I still think I might become a world famous film director one day. I’m also desperate. Just the other day I punched up my CV to appeal to retail employers. But it always felt like Missed Connections were even beneath pond scum like me. Despite my parents still living at home with me aged 32 and the aforementioned failed ambitions and all the many low points of my life so far, I’ve always been alright with the ladies (even though I use the phrase I’ve always been alright with the ladies). And trust me I’m not showing off here. When you are paddling a sinking ship, in a sea of shit it’s ok to spray a little air freshener.
How bad must things be going with the ladies if following a staring competition with a random attractive girl, who looked into your dead eyes for longer than three seconds you log onto the internet, post a missed connection, in some sort of demented ritual of self pity, to see if a person you have “looked” at has also “looked” at you and felt the same thing. To which the answer must surely be 99% of the time is no they haven’t. Seriously mate, they were looking at some advertising for multi vitamins behind your head or looking at you thinking “is this guy going to follow me home and kill me? I better smile at him.”
I’ve always been alright with the ladies (even though I use the phrase I’ve always been alright with the ladies).
A five-month drought and an incident culminating with me accidentally kneeing a girl in the crotch when she complimented me on my dancing were how badly things were going when I had a “connection” on Friday the 11th of May at 23:45. In case you are reading this. Of course the girl who looked into my dead eyes for well over three seconds and gave me a smile that said get off this train before it departs the North bound, Northern Line High Barnet branch platform at Goodge street and meet your destiny, is not reading this. I’ve already said no sane person would want to get in contact with someone just because they smiled at them, let alone from a train that was pulling out of a station never to be seen again so why would this be any different. And second of all I posted this on the missed connections site immediately after the incident and that was two weeks ago and she still hasn’t replied.
Now reading between the lines this piece may just look like thinly veiled excuse to repost a missed connection to a larger audience in the vain hope that somehow or other a message will get to this girl that I’m out there. And you’d be right. Turns out missed connections are not beneath me. Time to spray some more air freshener.
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