I’m a sucker for chocolate as much as I am for red wine and that got me thinking, if I had to choose between who I’d rather believe in and spend the weekend with this Easter… would I choose the Easter Bunny or Jesus Christ. I think the best way to work this out, apart from putting them in a ring together to fight it out themselves, is to work out the pros and cons of our furry friend and his not so furry savior of all mankind. Here’s my ‘for and against’ for our Easter heroes.
Easter Bunny pro: guaranteed Britain’s Got Talent winner. Everyone loves talking animals.
Jesus Christ con: hasn’t got a TV.
Jesus Christ pro: can turn water into wine. Great for the end of the night at a house party.
Easter Bunny con: tea-total.
Easter Bunny pro: endless supply of chocolate Easter Eggs.
Jesus Christ pro: lactose intolerant.
Jesus Christ pro: parent issues. He’ll never live up to his father’s reputation.
Easter Bunny con: eats his own poo, and young, and your garden.
Jesus Christ pro: toilet trained.
Easter bunny con: wees and poos all over your house.
Easter Bunny pro: a cute furry bunny you can cuddle and love.
Jesus Christ con: dead.
Easter Bunny pro: soft paws and floppy ears
Jesus Christ con: weeping abscess filled hands and crown of thorns.
Jesus Christ pro: has his own musical.
Easter Bunny con: doesn’t even have a theme tune.
Easter Bunny pro: Big feet, big… ahem.
Jesus Christ con: Big ego, tiny… ahem.
Jesus Christ pro: name doubles up as a swear word.
Easter Bunny con: no one would get angry and shout “OH EASTER BUNNY.”
Jesus Christ pro: puts the needs of others before his own.
Easter Bunny con: high sex-drive, selfish lover.
Easter Bunny pro: famous off his own merits
Jesus Christ con: famous because of his dad.
Jesus Christ pro: has got rights to the world and his own book.
Easter Bunny con: can’t read.
Jesus Christ pro: no kids.
Easter bunny con: loads of kids aka child support costs
Jesus Christ pro: can survive for 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness.
Easter bunny con: rabbits do not survive in the “wild” if they are abandoned
As my dear friend @peachesanscream said when I asked her what she thought… this basically boils down to the choice between ‘bestiality’ or ‘necrophilia.’ Each to their own, whatever floats your boat. I’d argue it comes down to red wine or chocolate, and this weekend I choose wine. Well done Jesus, you got my vote.
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