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Easter Bunny v Jesus Christ: Whose Side Are You On?
Have you ever wondered who you'd choose between if your life depended on it? This helpful list of pros and cons is designed to help you make an informed decision...
I’m a sucker for chocolate as much as I am for red wine and that got me thinking, if I had to choose between who I’d rather believe in and spend the weekend with this Easter… would I choose the Easter Bunny or Jesus Christ. I think the best way to work this out, apart from putting them in a ring together to fight it out themselves, is to work out the pros and cons of our furry friend and his not so furry savior of all mankind. Here’s my ‘for and against’ for our Easter heroes.
Easter Bunny pro: guaranteed Britain’s Got Talent winner. Everyone loves talking animals.
Jesus Christ con: hasn’t got a TV.
Jesus Christ pro: can turn water into wine. Great for the end of the night at a house party.
Easter Bunny con: tea-total.
Easter Bunny pro: endless supply of chocolate Easter Eggs.
Jesus Christ pro: lactose intolerant.
Jesus Christ pro: parent issues. He’ll never live up to his father’s reputation.
Easter Bunny con: eats his own poo, and young, and your garden.
Jesus Christ pro: toilet trained.
Easter bunny con: wees and poos all over your house.
Easter Bunny pro: a cute furry bunny you can cuddle and love.
Jesus Christ con: dead.
Easter Bunny pro: soft paws and floppy ears
Jesus Christ con: weeping abscess filled hands and crown of thorns.
Jesus Christ pro: has his own musical.
Easter Bunny con: doesn’t even have a theme tune.
Easter Bunny pro: Big feet, big… ahem.
Jesus Christ con: Big ego, tiny… ahem.
Jesus Christ pro: name doubles up as a swear word.
Easter Bunny con: no one would get angry and shout “OH EASTER BUNNY.”
Jesus Christ pro: puts the needs of others before his own.
Easter Bunny con: high sex-drive, selfish lover.
Easter Bunny pro: famous off his own merits
Jesus Christ con: famous because of his dad.
Jesus Christ pro: has got rights to the world and his own book.
Easter Bunny con: can’t read.
Jesus Christ pro: no kids.
Easter bunny con: loads of kids aka child support costs
Jesus Christ pro: can survive for 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness.
Easter bunny con: rabbits do not survive in the “wild” if they are abandoned
As my dear friend @peachesanscream said when I asked her what she thought… this basically boils down to the choice between ‘bestiality’ or ‘necrophilia.’ Each to their own, whatever floats your boat. I’d argue it comes down to red wine or chocolate, and this weekend I choose wine. Well done Jesus, you got my vote.
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COMMENTS
I think it's quite easy to be on both sides. I'm not overtly religious but I'm glad I live in a country shaped by Christian values. It is a shame commercialisation has been allowed to creep into out festivities. I was surprised to discover my local Waitrose is closed today. So used are we to 24 hour shopping that I forgot today was a national holiday. It won't be long though until the corporations 'persuade' the government that being open on Christmas Day and Easter Sunday is 'vital for the recovery of the economy.' Keep Sunday on lock down!
Jesus Cause Jesus Die For Us On The Cross And He Had To Go Threw All That Shit And All What Goes Threw The Easter Bunny Is Chocolate Eggs.
JESUS CHRIST IF U EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING THE EASTER BUNNY U NEED PRAYER
Please dont put Jesus into a photo/drawing/whatever like this.This is so wrong!
@Darren: "Christian values"? You mean like slavery and the subjugation of women? Remember the Old Testament was big on both, and Jesus never did a thing to contradict them, as far as we know. The Apostles were hot on supressing women, and not surprising: Jesus chose 12 men as apostles, and no women. No, the country you are in has been shaped by **humanitarian** values, in spite of –and not because of– Christianity.
Both the sanitised bunny and the Nazarene myth would deny the truth of the hare. Fertility not futility! "Heigh ho! Who is there? No one but me, my dear. Please come say, how do? The things I'll give to you. A stroke as gentle as a feather I'll catch a rainbow from the sky and tie the ends together. Heigh ho! I am here. Am I not young and fair? Please come say, how do? The things I'll show to you. Would you have a wond'rous sight? The midday sun at midnight. Fair maid, white and red, Comb you smooth and stroke your head. How a maid can milk a bull! And every stroke a bucketful"
Today marks Christ’s return to Earth and we as Christians must celebrate such to avoid the materialistic gluttony of Capitalism and woo of the Evil Easter Bunny. Watch the Hammer of God brought down upon this false deity as you read of his Pagan Origins at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2012/04/oschter-haws-easter-tale-of-calamity.html
Brandt Hardin, if you do a bit more research you will find that the Jesus myth was concocted from stories of earlier gods. Virgin birth, miracles, execution and resurrection: None of these is original. None of these is backed by any evidence. Your 3 gods are just as imaginary as the Easter Bunny.
I think you'll find the abolitionists opposed slavery because they considered it unChristian. And I don't remember Jesus singing slavery's praises. The slave owners and traders used Old Testament law to verify their actions. Jesus told us to forget the rules and regulations - the dietary requirements, the sacrifice of bulls and all the other bullshit of the Old Testament and to follow his teachings - love of thyself and of thy neighbour. He wasn't interested in rules because his argument (and it makes very good sense) is to love thy neighbour, not enslave him. The same goes for the subjugation of women. If Jesus was such a male chauvinist I don't understand why he was happy to be seen with the biggest outcast of them all; a whore. Jesus sought out the sick and the weak and the unloved. This is of course subject to actually believing he existed. I'm simply saying that Christ's teachings, however often they have been purposefully misinterpreted, are the basis for out civil society today. Forget the Old Testament bollocks. Forgiveness, love and peace is much better.
I choose the Easter bunny because Jesus is a fictitious character @chrisnumber9
Yawn, and how many have died in the name of the easter bunny?
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