Ex-Leeds Man Vinnie Jones Joins Twitter: Here's Who He Should Follow...
The R&D dept at Banksy HQ. This is a parody account, yeah?
Consistently amusing, occasionally brilliant ideas for what the art world’s king of counterculture could paint next.
Sample tweet: ‘Stencil of the Blue Peter ship, yeah? But it's being boarded by a group of Somali pirates’
Wading through the warped, bizarre and terrifying views found in the Daily Mail comments section so you don't have to. Contributions welcome/ all comments real.
The Daily Mail is the world’s most read news source. Read some of the tweets from this account and mull over that for a while, preferably in a padded room with no sharp objects.
Sample tweet: "A block on porn because some parents can't be bothered to raise their kids properly is an insult to the millions who died during the war"
A must for cricket fans and Yorkshiremen. The real Geoffrey does have an account but he hasn’t tweeted for years, and this one is much funnier anyway.
Sample tweet: ‘Had to cancel the table I booked for today. Missus told me she doesn't like snooker.’
Penalty kick! Absorutery ridicurous! Noo doot boot that! Noo kestion boot that!
A bit silly, but sometimes we all need a light touch. Imagine Fergie’s infamous ranting but in the voice of the Hangover’s Leslie Chow. Slur Alex is a bit more original than that though.
Sample tweet: ‘And Arberoa! Bruddy typical it was a Riverpool prayer! Aronso is no better! The ref's a bruddy riabirity, noo kestion boot that!’
Look at how I swear and use flippancy to generate humour. Parody. Direct advice, abuse, threats etc to firstname.lastname@example.org
Parodying the parodies, this one started strong and has been up and down since; it’s moved from direct assaults to more cynical social commentary. Still worth a go though.
Sample tweet: ‘I am Princess Diana in Heaven. It is funny because I, and some other people, are dead. Buy my e-book. Wooooooo! I'm a ghost! #lol’
Humble tennis player. Married to Mirky. Everybody says the best player ever and I like to agree. All opinions and tweets are #humble™ (Parody Account)
Classic parody, which works extra well because the Fed provides so much material. Especially good during Grand Slams, with press conferences and publicity material to work from.
Sample tweet: ‘I'm really very sorry for any distress caused today. It wasn't actually an earthquake, I dropped My wallet #oops’
We are not journalists. We do not write for the Daily Mail. We do not think coffee gives you cancer. We happen to think immigration makes the world interesting.
The best of the parody press, DM Reporter and their various guest correspondents have an incredible knack for distilling ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ into 140 characters. See previous mention of the Daily Mail for context.
Sample tweet: ‘CHURCH: Gay people "ok." Gay marriage "not ok." Celibate gay bishops "ok." Active gay bishops "not ok." Women "don't be ridiculous."’
remember that text that you shouldn't have sent last night? we do... send your TFLN to 76843
A collection of texts accompanied by the time they were sent, but perhaps fortunately not by the identity of the sender. Always worth a read if you think you might have done something silly, as someone has inevitably done worse.
Sample tweet: (415): Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Could be @FuckingLedge’s older brother done good. Tweets rarely but always hilariously, from or about whatever’s big in the world.
Sample tweet: ‘Can't believe it's been 20 years since Nirvana release Never Mind The Bollocks. Still have Kirks mobile number.’
Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators do not stay in the Goldman Sachs elevators. Email what you hear to email@example.com.
A fantastic insight into just how twattish bankers can be; I hope half the things on this account are true.
Sample tweet: ‘#1: If I ever 'check-in' somewhere on Facebook, it'll be Mt. Everest, Mars, or Kate Upton's bedroom. Not Chili's happy hour.’
Shrub Monkey trawls the world news to bring you a Cunt of the Day each and every day. Please Tweet nominations with a link to the story.
A great way to keep abreast of who to be angry at without having to go to any effort. See also Cunt of the Week, Month and Year.
Sample tweet: ‘By popular demand, Luis Suarez is today's Cunt of the Day for his pathetic refusal to shake the hand of Patrice Evra. http://t.co/IEj7ZDpx’
My players have top quality, exceptional character & an outstanding attitude. They drop little bit physically in the second half but have great mental strength.
The second best football manager parody after @TheBig_Sam, @WengerKnowsBest will keep you up to date on what he saw coming, all those incidents he didn’t see and just how far away Abou-Diaby-3-to-4-weeks-away actually is.
Sample tweet: ‘I did not see the Baumgartner incident but I believe it is unfair to call it a dive. There may have been little bit contact.’
News Corporation’s non-CEO, a parody highlighting Murdoch’s worst actions and articles. Sometimes funny, sometimes outraged, always worth following.
London news, London events, London features, London people
Great for keeping tabs on what’s going on in a city where there’s always something going on. Also good for quirky news and events, arts reviews and the best cheap stuff to do.
Sample tweet: ‘Skull in David Attenborough's garden turns out to be head of Victorian murder victim http://bit.ly/qRvGt4’
NORTHERN IRISH COMEDIAN WITH A BEARD. Follow for free jokes.
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Could justifiably be described as outspoken. Especially fond of any comedy material based on the Catholic Church or the Tory/Coalition government, Mor seems to await the death of Mrs Thatcher with particular relish, even by leftie standards.
Sample tweet: ‘If Justin Lee Collins goes to jail, his next TV show will be him trying to get his arsehole back together. #justinleecollins’
Comedian and writer.
Stewart Lee’s old comedy foil (I hope he doesn’t see this; apparently it annoys him to be described that way) and the King of Online Comedy, the Podfather is onfine form on Twitter. Warning: fairly phallo-centric, which is perhaps unsurprising given the subject of his current series of podcasts, entitled ‘Talking Cock’.
Sample tweet: ‘weird that if a man secretly took photos of topless lady for himself he'd be locked up, but if put in magazine everyone'll have a look.’
Male actress and comedienne. A Billion Jokes (Volume One) is out now!
Great for slightly more high-brow gags on current affairs, as well as astute video games reviews and brilliant clips from his various characters.
Sample tweet: ‘"Float like an octopus, sting like a clock." - Mohammed Dali’
How could the immortal, collective brain be mistaken? BBC 6Music DJ, TV lady, writer of stuff. This is my (occasionally too) personal Twitter account.
Particularly good when her show is on 6Music but generally entertaining, especially in partnership with @CaitlinMoran and others. Also handy if you fancy being featured on the People’s Playlist.
Sample tweet: ‘The ageing process only really begins when your house becomes nicer than a nightclub.’
Keeping us posted with the people most able to make themselves look utterly idiotic in 140 characters or less, this one’s another lowbrow classic. Feeling bad about your day? Not to worry, it’s virtually guaranteed whoever these guys have targeted is having a worse one.
Sample Tweet: ‘Imagine bumping into this casual bastard!! http://t.co/gSPt93nfPi’
I do what I want, when I want. I'm a grown ass woman and that's REAL. You wanna step to me, you betta bring it HARD.
Taking the concept of stereotyping and running with it towards a ramp beyond which lies a shark, Wanda is everything everyone loves to think they’re better than. She does bring a fairly unique perspective to popular culture though.
Sample Tweet: ‘TAYLOR SWIFF BAK WID MOE BULLSHYT~ WINEN AN COMPLANEN ABOW ALDA MOFUKKAZ DAT NUTTED UPIN HA PUSSAY DEN FREW DAT SHYT INDA GARBITCH~stfu HOE~’
The most obvious, but also one of the best, celebrity parodies, the Queen loves #Reigning, #GinOClock and commenting on the affairs of her various in-laws, most of whom have their own parodies.
Sample Tweet: ‘When Ashley Cole gets home, one will have him locked up and listening to his ex-wife's 'singing' on loop until the end of time. #eng’
I'm a Scottish comedian. The God of Games. The King in the North. Fashion enthusiast. DevilStroke. Leader of #TeamFlorence
A friend of Twitter stalwart @FrankieBoyle, Florence is one half of the duo behind Burnistoun, and as well as off-the-wall gags also provides insights into video games, fashion and pro wrestling.
Sample Tweet: ‘I think the judge should sentence John Terry to a year touring with the Wu-Tang Clan.’
I'll tell you what, pal, you talk to me like that again and you're gonna get a dry slap..... DO NOT FOLLOW IF EASILY OFFENDED
Smooth-talking his way out of a Walford grave and onto Twitter, Butcher is gutter humour at it’s best.
Sample Tweet: ‘Natasha Giggs is entering the big brother house tonight. That's a nice change as it's usually a big brother entering her! #CBB’
Highlighting accidental Partridge on twitter.
Purely retweets of famous or semi-famous people tweeting Partridge-esque things. Funnier than it sounds.