Geordie Agony Uncle: "I'm Having An Affair With My Milkman"

Got a problem? He doesn't give a fuck.
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Got a problem? He doesn't give a fuck.

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(picture via Flickr)

It’s beyond a cliché, but I’m having an affair with the milkman. It all started one morning when I dropped a bottle of milk and it splashed all over me. He offered to help me clean myself up and well…one thing lead to another. Please help. I don’t want to jeopardise my marriage but he makes me feel like I’m the cat that got the cream.

Sabotage Times' Geordie Agony Uncle says....

It’d be foolish and naïve of me, as an experienced counselor, to tell you that every marriage is perfect. The sun will always shine, and you’ll wake up every morning next to the same person with a stomach full of butterflies and cupid’s arrow hard at work.

No, that’d be utter shite, and I’d be fuckin’ well lyin’ more than a politician who got caught with his cock out at a gay orgy snortin’ fuckin’ cocaine and gettin’ blown by a Russian tranny, standin’ ootside his hoose with his wife by his side, facin’ the press.

Marriage can be utter shite sometimes. Fuck that. Marriage can be utter shite a lot of the time. So if you’re gettin’ slipped a crippler by the milkman, enjoy it pet. Get some excitement oot of life while yu can. Yu divvint say in yu letta whetha yuz’re married or not? Well, to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t bother me either way. If yu husband isn’t up to the job, fuck ‘im: or not, as in your case.

Ah cannit recommend a particular course of action for yu, like. As an adult, yuz have to make yu urn choice. Ah cannit dee it or yu. If yu want to save yu marriage, tell ‘ol blue-vein top to sling his hook and mek things work oot between you and yu husband.

If, on the otha hand, yuz’re still creamin’ at the creamin’ yuz’re gettin’, gaan for it.

It’s up to ye.

Because, as I mentioned at the top of my reply, marriage is sometimes very tough. We think our heart belongs to one person, then all of a sudden – boom, out of nowhere comes another than steals our breath away. I trust my advice will help you come to a conclusion that makes you happy. Good luck.

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