Happy Safer Internet Day: Are All Girl Gamers Fat Whores?

Playing the likes of Halo and Call of Duty is not so fun when you're being called a bitch and a whore by a bunch of losers online but here's how to deal with them.
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Playing the likes of Halo and Call of Duty is not so fun when you're being called a bitch and a whore by a bunch of losers online but here's how to deal with them.

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My Twitter feed has been all up in a tizzy this week with some debates about how girl gamers are treated disrespectfully in the male dominated community.

I’m sorry ladies, but I’m going to have to go ahead and call bullshit on this.

I know how it goes on Xbox Live. In the 5 trillion hours I’ve logged in Halo and Call of Duty multiplayer, I have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly.  I have been called fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, a bitch, a c**t and a whore.  I have been told to go make dinner and feed the baby.  I have been told that I suck and that I should instead be sucking my boyfriends D. It gets nasty girls. Very nasty.  As most of you probably already know.

BUT….

You have to realize something. These are the same guys who have a wad-shooting unicorn as their COD emblem.  They don’t have girlfriends.  They do not get laid.  They would probably KILL to have a girlfriend who would sit around with them and play video games.  No self respecting woman is going to date a man who speaks to women like that, so I assure you that these losers are only angry because they know they just got killed by a fantastic pair of tits that they will never get to touch or see.

When they talk shit, talk shit back.  These assholes have no idea who you are or what you look like.  So if they call you fat, tell them “You shouldn’t be so angry because you have such a small dick.  Some girls like that. I don’t know any but i’m sure they exist”.

If you get told you suck, tell them “Sorry, I was too busy giving my boyfriend a handjob, I wasn’t really paying attention to the game.”  There is no retort to that.  Slutty? Yes.  True? Absolutely not.  No real gamer will stop playing a game unless its for bong hits or your apartment is burning down.  But it doesn’t matter.  That guys mind will start wandering and eventually he will end up in a pile of his own sobby sad tears thinking about how he will never get a handjob by a girl when he is playing video games.

Talk shit back.  If you aren’t good at it, then just kill them with kindness.  If they call you a bitch, GIGGLE and say “thats not very nice”.  9 times out of 10, they will apologize and say they were just kidding.  A girl giggling can go a long way in the dick joke obsessed world of online gaming.

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I also tend to feel like the guys harass each other more so than anybody else.  How often have you been in a game lobby when someone starts talking and just out of the blue someone yells “Shut up Nigger!”.  Not a game goes by where some dumbass doesn’t call another guy a “Faggot”.

The problem that I see with the entire multiplayer experience isn’t chicks being too sensitive to take some kindergarten shit talking, it’s the outright homophobia and racism.  It’s scary. It’s scary because I always thought that gamers were a little above it all.  Not in an elitism kind of way but in a liberal, against the odds, open minded way.  Most gamers I know are brilliant human beings who have huge hearts and open views.  Where did the rest of these fucks come from?

It’s irritating that these guys have the same stale viewpoints as their angry asshole fathers have.  The same asshole fathers who hate them because they are playing video games instead of playing football and banging chicks.  You would think as a man, you would want to be different than that stereotype.  Whether these guys actually are homophobic or racist, there’s just no point.  You are playing a GAME.  Trash talking is a part of it, I agree! But trash talking and just being an ignorant f**kass are two completely different things.

Guys, focus a little less on creating the perfect emblem with two bunnies doing it and focus a little more on being a decent human being.  Girl hate or Guy hate, it’s just hate.  The world needs less of it.

And ladies, don’t waste your time feeling “disrespected” by guys who just say random shit to try to make you feel like crap.  Let it fuel you to play harder.  Trust me, the majority of men are completely blown away by a chick who is into video games, don’t let a handful of assholes fool ya.  We have the upper hand, as is the case with every aspect of humanity.  :)

Happy  Trash Talking!

P.S. To ALL online Gamers:  Please STOP WHINING! Stop whining about campers.  Stop whining about the noob tube.  Stop whining about people who jump around.  IT’S A GAME! If you are getting your ass kicked, then you are doing something wrong and the other person is doing it right.  Figure it out.  Internally.  Without whining. Good Day Sir!