Gorgeous Gingers: Why I Want To Bag A Red Head

This is a story about fancying the underdog, and by underdog I mean about fancying a ginger man. Or should I say fancying ginger men.
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
64
This is a story about fancying the underdog, and by underdog I mean about fancying a ginger man. Or should I say fancying ginger men.

The clues were all there. The post card of Prince Harry taped to my wall and fading slightly (didn't go down with my exes that well but what would they know). The last guy I dated being ginger could have alerted me to it. And maybe, you know, the fact that whilst "researching" this article I googled hot ginger men and then got distracted for 15 minutes. All of these things say YOU LOVE GINGERS  or should I say I LOVE GINGERS (can someone print me a t-shirt with that on? Thanks.)

There are basically two reasons why ginger people are good and they are as follows*:

1. Normal people think it is socially unacceptable to really truly fancy ginger people:

At this point I shall just say one thing (four times for effect) PRINCE HARRY, PRINCE HARRY, PRINCE HARRY, PRINCE HARRRRRYYYYY. For god's sake what is wrong with you people? What sort of rejects don’t fancy someone because of their hair colour it’s like not fancying someone because they don’t wear the right shoes, oh wait, that’s me. Ok, it’s like not fancying someone because...... Ok couldn’t think of something I wouldn’t not fancy someone for, but that’s because I’m a shallow bitch and people quite frankly shouldn’t take any leaves out of my entirely awful book. But anyway, I’m missing the point here WHICH IS: Because it’s socially unacceptable to truly fancy ginger people you will have less competition. You do not need to thank me for this striking observation.

2. Ginger people think it’s socially unacceptable for people to truly fancy them

Ginger people are always apologising for themselves. They don’t literally say “I’m sorry I’m ginger” that would be too obvious, they apologise by trying too hard, they apologise by constantly referring to their slightly less good in the sun skin, they apologise by dying their hair black so that people don’t have to look at their natural hair. When I say 'they' I mean an ex boyfriend, when I say boyfriend we dated for two weeks when I was 17. He dyed his ginger hair black. He looked like a knob. Let this be a lesson to you never dye ginger hair black. Anyway, I digress again. If you date a ginger person they will be infinitely nicer to you than a normal person would be because they are sorry they are ginger. This is not scientific fact but it is a fact all the same.

*Ginger people are normal people too, although some** may not agree, and therefore are good for all reasons that normal people are good too, however, this article only refers to their goodness as potential boyfriends

** Some is not me, just to clarify, not me, I LOVE YOU HARRY, MARRY ME?

To follow Sabotage Times on Twitter click here.

For more from Olivia Foster click here.

To join the Sabotage Facebook group click here.