Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

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21

How I Get Away With Masturbating In Public

by Lorraine Baines
30 August 2013 82 Comments

The eye-watering confessions of a sex fiend. Here's her portfolio of places where she just couldn't help herself, lets pray we can.

It’s great being a girl, especially when it comes to sex. I only need to say the words multiple orgasm for men to feel a compulsion to chop off their balls. No wank will ever compare to the joy of the hooded, hidden glory that is the clit. And don’t they know it.

But one of the most fun things about being a girl is that we can get away with masturbating… anywhere. There’s no body part to whip out, no mess to clear up and no obvious movements that would give the game away. No one has any idea we’re doing it. That’s what makes it so great. Here are a few places I’ve experimented going solo in public…

In the jacuzzi at the gym

I find the jacuzzi a bit boring, and a little socially awkward. It’s like having a bath with complete strangers. So I decided to make the occasion a little more interesting one evening. I sat in a seat of David Lloyd’s hot tub, with just another girl for company. She was wearing a khaki green bikini. I can still picture it now. I realised you could see nothing under the bubbles, so I slipped my hand under my right thigh, moved my swimsuit to the side, and started rubbing. The movement of the water helped me out, and in no time I was orgasming right next to her… And I admit, I was sneaking looks at her boobs. Then her boyfriend got in and gave me a dirty look.

At a Britney Spears concert

This one I’m particularly proud of. Britney was my go-to adolescent masturbating material – and now and then she still pops up in my head. So when I saw her live recently I just couldn’t help but take up the opportunity to do it over her in person. Everyone around me was too preoccupied with what was happening on stage to notice what I was doing… in response to what was happening on stage. As determinedly heterosexual as I am, there’s something about a dirty blonde gyrating to Slave in leather pants that just pushes my buttons. Well, button. You get the idea.

 

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Matt 11:36 am, 29-Jan-2012

You are filth! Love it.

davis 11:37 am, 29-Jan-2012

This is one of the most kick-ass columns I've ever seen, I'm gonna have difficulty standing up in the coffee shop now I've read this !

Sifaeli 12:24 pm, 29-Jan-2012

I fucking knew it... The sheer breadth of places you can knock one out is giving me the horn and making me jealous. Not fair/more power to you.

FLaming8ball 12:36 pm, 29-Jan-2012

With great power comes great responsibility Anna. When did sabotage turn into a mills & boon novel? I mean it's great that you can fap where ever you want, but is it news?

Dontsendimdaahn 12:53 pm, 29-Jan-2012

Is it news! Consider it "page 3". Dick

FLaming8ball 1:07 pm, 29-Jan-2012

My point exactly, nob jockey whose name I cant be fucked to type. Do you like this story because it made your little willy twitch? Auhh it's like a willy only smaller!...and attached to your forehead...

Manners 7:16 pm, 29-Jan-2012

...come on,really

ginger prince 9:58 pm, 29-Jan-2012

anyone can do that.

joe soap 10:51 pm, 29-Jan-2012

load of codswallop, written by a bloke

mal 12:04 am, 30-Jan-2012

yawn.

Anna Puma 10:44 am, 30-Jan-2012

Glad my work is being enjoyed by others. And no, I'm not a bloke.

mal 11:09 am, 30-Jan-2012

Anna- it's just not interesting and poorly written to boot. It reads like an 8 year olds summer holiday essay " and then I masturbated in Wales, and then I masturbated at the pleasure beach, and then.." (etc) you'd also have to be some kind of sad male to be turned on by this poorly written account of your fish fingering. It's hardly erotica is it?

www.thegreenwichbarber.com 11:41 am, 30-Jan-2012

Oh, your not a bloke? Apologies Anna, I assumed 'Anna Puma' was a nom de plume and the first image I had of 'Anna Puma' was - http://tinyurl.com/85zw3lt (link completely safe for work). I was completely wrong and I'm sorry.

My Blue Heaven 2:27 pm, 30-Jan-2012

If Anna Puma is a bloke, then my A level in biology was strangely wasted. Signed, her (sometime) boyfriend

www.thegreenwichbarber.com 3:53 pm, 30-Jan-2012

@My Blue Heaven - Errmm, just wonderin' like? You haven't got any plans to write a article for here on the times when you've had a quick hand shandy in public have you?

My Blue Heaven 5:01 pm, 30-Jan-2012

@ www.thegreenwichbarber.com If there's sufficient demand from ST for an article about the time I had a crafty J. Arthur over the city walls of Quebec and launched 10cc of man fat into the starry void... I'll write it.

Anna Puma 5:07 pm, 30-Jan-2012

@ My Blue Heaven - You're just delightful.

gingerprince 12:22 pm, 31-Jan-2012

its a wank-off!! call David Bowie

Kane 3:32 pm, 1-Feb-2012

Fair trade for getting knocked up - you keep wanking in public and I will never have to pass a watermelon through my cunt.

Benjamin 7:58 pm, 1-Feb-2012

Makes for an interesting comparison to Owen Blackhurst's 'confessions of a teenage tosser'. Top article, look forward to more.

My Blue Heaven 2:36 pm, 3-Feb-2012

I like the idea of an amateur wank-off. Me, Owen, Anna Puma and a hapless biscuit. Let's make it happen.

Pixie 2:12 am, 6-Feb-2012

Meanwhile... In Norway... Couldn't help myself thinking of this video in connection with the jacuzzi... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=369FGAb1iI8 Funny thing that the best Norwegian music is made by comedians. great voices, great productions...This one is good too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klJhWr_FTaE

jade 1:53 pm, 15-Aug-2012

i read some of the letters and it turns me on what do i do about it

michael 3:05 pm, 15-Aug-2012

...delete em

daznez 6:16 am, 8-Sep-2012

@gingerprince -lmao, ta. @Anna - filthy girl, keep it up.

linky 12:58 pm, 8-Sep-2012

I wanna write an article about the places I've wanked. Dunno if it'd be quite as sexy coming from a guy though. Think I've managed a few places - work, plane, train. Once got a stiffy in the showers at the gym that was embarrassing

linky 1:01 pm, 8-Sep-2012

Oh yeah I forgot - in a bush at the park, outside the local playground, when I was volunteering at the local nursing home, in detention after Maths class (I had been a naughty boy he he he), I have had a crazy sex life

Markxist 3:29 pm, 8-Sep-2012

C'mon, who hasn't in the bogs at work? Walk on the wild side

Mark 8:47 pm, 8-Sep-2012

I'm in love!!

Sneakyone 9:30 pm, 8-Sep-2012

I can relate o Anna's article. I like to cum at work - just cross my legs, squeeze and push up against the desk. The busier and stressed I am, the better the orgasm. Try it...

Danny Watson 4:51 pm, 2-Oct-2012

You see this is exactly the kind of trash that makes me sick to my stomach. You Anna, yes you, the fucking writer of this fucking article, are a sick human being. I have never wished anyone geniune ill-fate in life till now, I hope you burn like the evil bitch you are. "I had a boyfriend at the time, but had started engaging in some sexy emails with a good-looking male colleague, who happened to be married" - I KNOW you are bullshitting, I'm sorry you have to lie to make your pathetic fucking life seem bearable for just a second. But if you are telling the truth, then it's the sick people like you that should be tied to a stake and burned, you are a cheater, I hope your boyfriend really quite literally backstabbed you as much as you backstabbed him. You are a whore and I really hope you are still reading this, because someone needs to tell you this if you haven't realised by now, how dare you come between a married man and his wife, how fucking dare you desecrate that devotion. Burn in FUCKING HELL. Masturbating over someones girlfriend? You need your fucking head seen to. I doubt you are even a woman, or a shit excuse for one, this article reeks with pure concentrated lies. You should have been locked up for indecent exposure. And finally, and I do apologise for swearing an obscene amount but one says what one feels. "I’m sure most girls will agree they’re more turned on by the thought of women than men." Well it's clear that you are just a shit person, you must have had a shit relationship life with males if you think that, your mind is diseased. Keep your close-minded self centred lesbian opinions to yourself. P.S feel free to email me back. Would love to chat.

john saggati 11:17 pm, 12-Oct-2012

i wish i had a clit

Orangeyouglad 7:13 am, 15-Oct-2012

Well this was really good Anna hit me up 804 518 8635

Dave 6:03 pm, 31-Oct-2012

I have wondered about this before, whether female masturbation really is so much easier to conceal. I see your article as an elaborate sort of answer to that question. And yeah, that does make me kinda envious. Oh well, there are advantages and disadvatages both ways. I love how proud you are about the whole thing! ;) And dude, I don't know how you concluded the contrary, but you're not quite hetersoexual, not exclusively at least.

dan 11:34 am, 27-Nov-2012

It's a turn on for sure that you're so naughty this way. But I have to wonder why you seem to find such delight in putting down men. As if all men have the kind of attitude that makes them deserve such treatment?

dan 11:52 am, 27-Nov-2012

For every man who subscribes to gender equality and supports feminist causes, there seems to be a woman trying to prove that women are superior. Making up for lost time? Feel like punishing today's men for the abuses committed by yesterday's men? Had a bad experience with men? Or just childish and insecure? Who knows... Fact is, there are a lot of women like you who are not content with equality but feel an impulsive need to be considered in some way superior. Also, the quality of one's experience (such as orgasm) is subjective, and there is no way for you to know whether your multiple orgasms feel better to you than my orgasms feel to me. Yes, it would be nice to have to clean up a mess after I come. But also, it would be nice not to have deal with the kind of mess your kind leave on my fish hook every time I pull out. This is just a wild guess here, but I bet you support circumcising infant boys, or at least see no reason to object to it.

Eric 3:35 am, 5-Dec-2012

I suppose Danny Watson tries to point out to Anna that it's morally wrong for you to betray your boyfriend and I must say, I am also strongly opposed against betrayal. Still I think Danny Watson should work on his French skills: c'est le ton qui fait la musique!!! Yes, the tone makes the music. First of all, we don't know if Anna really cheated on her boyfriend, or just had a fantasy that was a bit wild. Supposing that Anna just has a lively fantasy, that is no reason to burn her like a which. The harsh tone that Danny Watson has chosen may hit him in his own face like a boomerang. To me Danny Watson sounds like a frustrated man, jealous to women that can have multiple orgasms. The reaction to threaten those women with hell comes from priests that are often very filthy themselves. God gave Anna a clitoris and she's using it for good. Danny is envying Anna and that's against the Bible, so in the end, Danny is the real moral loser of this story... Danny Watson can only dream of the day that he gets the chance to worship Anna's clit, since his tongue is too raw for her and Danny obviously has to learn French first!

Steve 9:57 am, 9-Dec-2012

To Dan: Forgive me, I cannot see your point [and I don't think you understand the dynamics of sex either]. I really don't get your point on superiority, if she / girls / or anyone can get away with it outside then who are you to stop them? You clearly have an interest in this or you wouldn't be here. On your point of the mess - that mess is a MIXTURE of around 80% you and just 20% her (you have actually made a mess of her and shall continue to make that mess long after you have zipped-up and moved-on) you know, there is this invention that actually stops you from being covered in hers its called a condom - I recommend that you go and purchase then you shall have just yourself to blame. Oh and what's wrong with circumcising children? I was and it really is the best, from a hygiene / sexual health perspective and from a point of sex - I can go for much longer than my uncircumcised friends yes it maybe about stamina but its also about me being less sensitive by having a permanently exposed head - seriously, as a boy, maybe you should grow-up and think about others - Steve (a guy)

jack 2:09 am, 10-Dec-2012

I'd never swap my meat for a tic tac. Men can have multiple orgasms. Men can masturbate 3 or 4 times in a row if they want (Just takes practice). But, the feeling of pounding on a rock-hard meat-wand is such a feeling of power. Then to feel it shoot a load, it's glorious. A penis can shoot up to 2 meters. A clit cannot compare with that. And BTW, most women do not fantasize about women, they fantasize about men! And sure, it maybe discrete/easier if you want to masturbate all over town, to have a clit, but really, it's only a sick woman that would do that. Men might like to watch it, but most men would keep well away from woman that are as loose as that. I'd never take her home or let her meet any of my family or friends.

jack 2:21 am, 10-Dec-2012

To Eric: (People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones). While I'm not here disagreeing or agreeing with your comment, I did notice that you picked on Danny for his French. Now, if you're going to criticize someone (In English) for their French, and insist they learn it before commenting, you should probably make sure your English is up to scratch. And, while I'm no spelling or grammar genius, I'm pretty sure you meant "Witch" which is definitely not spelled w-h-i-c-h. A quick refresher course in English might be useful, do you think?

Paul 9:34 pm, 12-Dec-2012

@Danny Watson You sound bitter. I take it that your wife or girlfriend left you for someone who actually knew how to use their dick? Or did she leave you for another girl?

evangeline 3:14 pm, 22-Dec-2012

I have masturbated in public before. And I think you're full of bullshit. Get a life you attention whore..... Well said Danny Watson

Keith 3:13 pm, 26-Dec-2012

Danny Watson, are you American, or just the small dicked utter loser than you have shown in your rant?. God is not going to give you a blow job, and for reference, Look up Clit, not bum, on the internet, what a fucking arsehole

Keith 3:14 pm, 26-Dec-2012

I,ve read a lot of idiotic comments on this site, but you are No.1

KiraA 7:53 pm, 26-Dec-2012

a) no one is that discreet. unless you're not really coming. b) it is very easy to detect that give-away rhythm, especially when it's coming from a work toilet cubicle. c) women turning on women has never been news. ever. d) we're all wanking in public, sweetheart. if you're gonna write about it, at least make it hot.

Virgin 2:31 pm, 27-Dec-2012

You really should tell men more about this, especially if you're working them

Will 2:41 pm, 27-Dec-2012

Who Cares? The article itself is an excellent example of public masturbation.

Hannah 6:21 am, 2-Jan-2013

I thought it was rather informational. I can't believe some people are complaining about how it was poorly written erotica. That's not the purpose. Read the title: How I Get Away With Masturbating in Public. And I must say, I will be trying some of these :D An despite the fact that I am strictly heterosexual... Sorry, but we're just majestic creatures <3

vinny 11:20 am, 2-Jan-2013

I loved reading it!! Really turned me on, im now going to go near the fields and play til i cum, im really hard and the thought of someone maybe seeing me is awesome

vinny 12:31 pm, 2-Jan-2013

If anyone wants to hear me 07400800274

JC 5:04 pm, 3-Jan-2013

Whole lotta trolling going on..... Just a good, fun article.

Alex 7:38 am, 9-Jan-2013

I wonder if this website would've published this if a guy had masturbated in a public. I wonder if the comments would've been "wow really turned me on!" No, would've been a bunch of stupid fucking feminists saying shit like "YOU DISGUSTING FUCKING MAN MASTURBATING IN PUBLIC, MASTURBATING TO BRITNEY SPEARS, MASTURBATING AROUND ALL THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE YOU'RE FUCKING DISGUSTING"

vinny 7:51 pm, 24-Jan-2013

Just taking the piss folks

Morgan 8:49 pm, 1-Feb-2013

What an interesting article. And to think, maybe the female just next to me is really masturbating. How daring of you. I'm one to enjoy a bit of self-pleasure, but I'm not gutsy enough to do it in public.

Stan Dalglish 4:46 pm, 3-Feb-2013

Someone is having a laugh at our expense here. I would not say Anna Puma is laughing at us blokes, but she's deffo laughing next to us.

vinny 11:27 am, 20-Feb-2013

nJust love being brought off outside, had sex with my wife lots of times, even had someobe watch us once, pulled out and shot all over her back for the lady that stopped to watch

CB 3:08 pm, 21-Mar-2013

Your hands must permanently stink of fanny. There was a girl who stank of fanny at school. Now I know why.

Josh 3:36 pm, 21-Mar-2013

Although I think Danny Watson may be putting it a bit strongly I sympathise with the sentiment. You are indeed an unpleasant individual. Your insecurities are fascinatingly come to life in this article.

Betty 6:26 pm, 21-Mar-2013

Brilliant article Anna. Witty, funny and refreshing. Go girlfriend! Btw Danny and Jack you both sound like a couple of fucktards. I'm not a lesbian, but yes I do regularly fantasise about women. Guess we're generally softer and more gorgeous. There's also that thrill of the unknown I guess. Try to keep your uptight narrow minded opinions to yourselves boys and if you're thinking 'go fuck yourself', well I probably will fairly soon, pos. in public whilst thinking about a hot girl ;)

andrew 6:51 pm, 21-Mar-2013

Reads like something from 'Fiesta' that might have snagged my interest at 14/15. Probably written by a guy, if not it looks like it was. Don't know which is worse. I could do better. And thats speaking as someone who frequently masquerades as a " certain type of girl" on sites like Omegle. ( If you've ever "got off" with a 19 year old uni student who's slightly overweight, a bit geeky/ glasses wearing but prone to outburstsof filth then there's a chance it was me!)

Shaun 10:21 pm, 21-Mar-2013

What a load of old wank. Be sure to wash your hands young lady.

bennyvalhalla 1:02 am, 22-Mar-2013

hahaha now THATS trolling! Ps i had a wank at a Pink concert the teeny girls bouncing up and down masked my furious fapping..

mick mccarthy 1:39 am, 22-Mar-2013

these are disgusting. imagine if a bloke had written this.

Joew 3:17 pm, 22-Mar-2013

Some of these border on weird, but hey that's just honesty I guess. Dunno why so many blokes get insecure and high and mighty about it; we'd all be wanking in public 24/7 if we thought we could get away with it. Fear of female sexuality perhaps?

deVoyeur 5:37 pm, 27-Mar-2013

It's such a shame that you fellas can't just read it and enjoy the writing. Real, not real, whatever, it's nice to think of, a beautiful woman pleasing herself in your vicinity. I only wish, I could get a quick peek.

chris 5:24 am, 23-May-2013

Love it! If I happened upon Anna while she had busy fingers, I'd feel compelled to join her. Not wanting to be seen, but there is a thrill in that possibility. I've gotten off in public countless times, outdoors mostly, in a restaurant booth, the car while driving, a bowling alley, a fairly-empty airliner, a darkened hotel room with 3 cuties talking outside the window not a yard away, on and on. It certainly can complicate things a bit because of the resulting mess, and rubbing a clit would indeed be less noticeable. But, if wearing a loose-fitting pair of shorts and seated, it's quite discreet.

Peter Griffin 6:05 am, 25-Jun-2013

http://www.jackinworld.com/resources/general-articles/male-multiple-orgasms-one-mans-journey

aj 11:37 pm, 27-Jun-2013

pics or it didn't happen.

ann 9:47 am, 3-Jul-2013

I bet you boyfriend was thrilled you where sending dirty emails to a married co worker, you're a slut.

Glenn Willis 4:01 am, 8-Jul-2013

"My neighbor and her girl friends watched me jerk off. They sat in front of me and watched me jerk off and cum. They liked it. I could hear them talking about me and laughing as they watched me beating off, so I jerked off in front of them three times. Each time I came real hard. They watched me cum and it felt great. They were all gorgeous brunettes. I loved it :)"

anon 1:52 am, 4-Sep-2013

"guys, i finger myself to girls and i fantasize about girls all the time, but i'm totally hetero, believe me" You trying to convince us or yourself? lol

Narek 9:18 am, 24-Oct-2013

This is not a woman only thing I have done it many times. If you have decent sized cock and an intact sensitive one, it's easy to get off. Specially because of the thrill of doing it in public. I let half my cock stick upwards out of my pants and wear loose fitting long tshirts, slip a hand under my tshirt and go to work. I've done it in the back off buses, in the classroom at the back etc.

BostreGold 8:42 pm, 28-Oct-2013

Having multiple orgasms is not that hard for a man. Not only that, but men can also orgasm much easier. E.g., just a few minutes ago, I managed to do it twice in the space of two minutes. Also, to that Steve guy who said that circumcision gives you an advantage: it doesn't. I'm not circumcised, and I can go on for hours, until I have to stop because the rest of my body is so exhausted. And as long as you wash it, it is just as clean.

bob 5:24 am, 17-Nov-2013

Nice article. Pity it will never register in a larger section of the wider community. Alex would be right, guys couldnt get away with what women could. Even so, I like watching women's body language when they get turned on, crossing and uncrossing legs, preening, flicking hair, rubbing neck etc. Would be great if some had the idea of going a step further ssometimes. The likelihood is virtually non existent, which makes this article fun. Glenn Willis, that sounds awesome. Ho, you dirty dog!

Nikki 7:06 am, 9-Jan-2014

This is hot....i have done it in multiple places to its hard to keep quiet when you orgasm tho :3 with me its kinda hard since i squirt sometimes it just depends on how much time i have or how deep into it i go :)

Phillip 11:41 pm, 29-Jan-2014

That's sooooooooo HOT

BB 5:23 pm, 1-Feb-2014

That's so hot. I'm gay as its gonna get, so don't feel bad if you are. I've never thought of masturbating in public routinely, but once in school my teacher kept saying "sexual reproduction" and I only could focus on the "sex" part of that, so I reached under the desk and started rubbing my crotch. When the class was over, I went to lunch and couldn't stop rubbing my legs together. I love jeans. ;) but my friend winked at me, as much as I was trying not to let it show, and whispered "I know that trick. Have fun" I was embarrassed, but turned on when she grabbed me under the table and rubbed my crotch. I spread my legs and let her please me. Oh god I love being a girl. :)

me 6:25 pm, 23-Feb-2014

so you're kind of a sexist aren't you?how would you like it if you woke up every day and had people tell you that you were sexually inferior and/or un-appealing because of the genitals you were born with?the male form is the epitome of power and grace combined and yes even some femininity,just as the female form has these in differing portions.we are all beautiful in our own way and your attitude sucks.stop rehashing and recycling these sexist anti male memes that you hear everywhere and let your pussy think for itself.you might find you enjoy it and that your relationships with the opposite sex work a lot better if you aren't such a fucking close minded drone.

Candace Clover 12:18 pm, 6-Mar-2014

Oh, I loved it. I'm a transmale and was googling "How To Masturbate In Public". First I came across an article about how it's legal to masturbate publically in Sweden so long as it's not directed at anybody, and then I found this. I liked the article. I don'tknow what up with all the hate and criticisms (sounds to me there's a few folks on herewith some ghosts in the closet or possibly jealousy or perhaps nothing better to do), but I liked i. It was funny. The part where you wrote about "there's something about a dirty blonde gyrating on a pole" was hilarious. I'm bookmarking thisone. Might use it in a play/dialouge even. As a monologue for sure. I'm sitting in at a Subway right now, wanting to touch myself. Too many folks around to concentrate, but I could've done it earlier. I guess it's disgusting. But only if someone perhaps notices and you don't have some MoistNaps to clean up yer hands. Ha ha.Love you, Anna. (and i AM a bloke! just with a 'gina. ;)

Hector Schwarzieger 4:13 am, 20-Mar-2014

you have sociopathic tendencies thats why. A man who wanks in public is just disgusting, if you are a hot lady, you might get away with it because us blokes are filthy buggers and like that sorta stuff, but a LOT of other people will find your behaviour very confronting. Any possibilities of lesbian or even sex with other men will be outweighed by the people who will run like hell if you begin strumming one out in a public place. grow up or get councelling, your hero carrie bradshaw would likely find you a bit sad.

Hector Schwarzieger 4:15 am, 20-Mar-2014

oh yeah incase my post could be misconstrued.... No, dont wank in public, crazy behaviour

Sexy20 2:07 pm, 25-Mar-2014

Gorgeous woman . absolutely sexy

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