How To Serve Cocktails To Eric Pickles at the Conservative Party Conference 2011

Allow us to prepare some specially made drinks for David Cameron and his Bullingdon chums.
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Allow us to prepare some specially made drinks for David Cameron and his Bullingdon chums.

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Mix me a Molotov

There are many variations of the molotov cocktail. The classic is a glass bottle filled with gasoline. An oily soaked rag is placed in the neck of the bottle. The rag is lit on fire and the bottle is thrown at the opposition. However, practice has created new models of the molotov that defeat the classic version.

When making molotovs, it is never a good idea to use the oily rag method. It can allow gas to seep from the bottle and many other bad things. The best way is to take a tampon that is soaked in gas and place it on the side of the bottle neck. Then, tie a rubber band around the tampon. Make sure the bottle has a cap on it. Light the tampon and throw hard. With this ignition method, the bottle must break!

When making a molotov mixture, one of the easiest mixtures is filling half the bottle with gasoline, and the other half of the bottle with motor oil. Mix well! The oil is very flammable and sticks very well to the surface that it lands on.

Another mixture is to fill half the bottle with gasoline and the other half with tar. This mixture burns very very hot and also sticks well to surfaces while the gasoline does the work.

To make a firewall, simply fill bottles with rubbing alcohol and light the mixture. These bottles should be lined up side by side to create a large area of fire that police will not walk through.

By far the stickiest mixture is 50% gasoline, with 25% tar and 25% grease. Shake well and throw hard!

The most high explosive and lethal mixture is amonium-nitrate-based fertilizer mixed with gasoline. Just stuff the bottle with this mixture and light the fucker. This method should be made with a plastic bottle so that it will not break on impact. When you light it, the bottle will quickly explode so be quick. Using a fuse is a good idea.

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