Iron Man Vs The Iron Lady

It's a battle of the Iron Icons as Tony Stark takes on Maggie. One is an ego-driven maniac, not remotely afraid of making life-long enemies, driven to succeed at all costs. The other is... Come on, sure you see where this is going.
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It's a battle of the Iron Icons as Tony Stark takes on Maggie. One is an ego-driven maniac, not remotely afraid of making life-long enemies, driven to succeed at all costs. The other is... Come on, sure you see where this is going.

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This week saw two Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man return for a third blockbuster instalment, premiering in London – the day after our longest-serving Prime Minister was laid to rest in central London. Ding Dong!

So, in a big week for super-powered heroes, we decided in the time-honoured fashion to finally decide who is the ultimate Iron person.

Special powers

Margaret Thatcher: Originally a research scientist before becoming a barrister, Thatch was known for her political manoeuvring, a natural resolute nature and fearless confrontational aggression.

Iron rating: 5/5

Tony Stark: A billionaire playboy, industrialist and ingenious engineer –Tony Stark gains his superpowers of flight, speed and incredible strength from a powerful high-tech suit of armour that saves his life.

Iron rating 4/5

Enemies

Thatch: Tackled miners, communists, pro-EU cabinet members, and the people of Liverpool– aggression and battles on several fronts. Arguably too many, she was eventually ousted in a political coup after in-fighting by the Tory party.

Iron rating 3/5

Tony Stark: Never afraid to take on big challenges, Tony Stark has multiple enemies but arguably lacks an iconic nemesis. In this month’s Iron Man 3 he tackles a super-terrorist called The Mandarin. Frightening stuff, but not half as scary as a donkey-jacketed Yorkshire coal miner fuelled on five-pints of mild.

Iron rating 2/5

More...

The 25 Best Margaret Thatcher Jokes

Margaret Thatcher's Obituary: The Triumph of Greed

Drinks

Thatch: Was handed the nickname "Margaret Thatcher Milk Snatcher”, after her public expenditure cuts resulted in the abolition of free milk for school kids. Lefties gleefully downed pints of semi-skimmed after the news of her death but it never worried our purposeful PM who carried on regardless of calcium-deficiencies.

Iron rating 4/5

Tony Stark: Is kind of rock’n’roll right? He has battled problems with alcohol throughout the films and comic book – one-too-many-Tony. The booze often threatens to throw him of course, but he just about manages to dry out in the nick-of-time. (Well, usually).

Iron rating 2/5

Home

Thatch: Grew up in dull-as-ditchwater Lincolnshire market town Grantham. It’s other major claim to fame was having the first running diesel tractor in 1896. Close to Nottingham, with a population of almost 35,000 people it’s also well-known for its ginger biscuits.

Iron rating 0/5

Tony Stark: Lives in a Malibu mansion, with breathtaking panoramic views of the Pacific Ocean. Access to the NASA quality equipment, gadgets and all manner of toys.

Iron rating 4/5

Love-life

Thatch: Married to her Denis, between 1951 and 2003. He was awarded an MBE for services in WWII, was known for a love of gin & golf, and referred to as “The Boss” by Thatch herself. High praise indeed.

Iron rating 1/5

Tony Stark: “It’s Complicated” with Pepper Potts, played by yoga-loving lunatic Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s never 100% clear who is going to make the next move for these two. Gwyneth recently boasted “she had the butt of a 22-year-old stripper” – which is something we’re almost certain Denis Thatcher never claimed in television interviews.

Iron rating 3/5

Team-mates

Thatch: Had a crack cabinet team – Ken “Big Beast” Clarke, not to be messed with; Michael “Tarzan” Heseltine; and no-one wanted to enter fisticuffs with Norman Lamont. A formidable team, but beset by in-fighting.

Iron rating 4/5

Tony Stark: In 2012’s Avengers Assemble he teamed up with The Hulk, Thor and Captain America. No nicknames needed for this crazy crew –that brings brute power, top weapon skills and astonishing bravery. A formidable team, but beset by in-fighting.

Iron rating 4/5

So, it’s a close-run thing. But we can exclusively reveal that Tony Stark just about triumphs in this close-run battle of Iron people: The final score is 19-17 in favour of the goatee-bearded billionaire. Bad luck Thatch.