Like most I used to be a fan of the NHS, not a massive fan but a fan none-the-less. Mostly because when I needed medical assistance, the NHS was there for me in some way or the other and it was nice and reassuring to know that the chances of me being left to die of a perfectly curable disease was very slim because I had free health care.
I’m not going to pretend that I know much about the NHS reform because I don’t, I probably should but from the little I know, it seems really confusing and somewhat stupid. So when it comes to the reforms, I like to bask in the bliss of ignorance. Still I’m pretty sure that nowhere in the NHS reforms was it written that NHS doctors must become lazy and under qualified and regard Google as a second or in some cases a first opinion.
My older sister told me that this happened to her about two years ago, long before the standards of the NHS began to decline but seeing as I hadn’t really encountered much unpleasantness with the NHS, I chose to still place my faith in it.
Those pills were hell, for three months I had PMS every day. EVERY DAY! The doctor told me that if I took the pill, I’d never have a period. That back fired!
Since then my sister’s less than professional encounter with an NHS doctor, she has chosen to live her life in some ways like a nomad or a hippie, favouring self medicating over doctors with a PHD from the prestigious and elite school of Google!
A few weeks ago I went to visit my doctor to get myself back on the contraceptive pill (not because I’m having a lot of sex, no my life is pretty sexless at the moment), apparently I have to be on the pill for medical reasons.
Let me start from the beginning, about a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with something called, endometriosis. After passing out at work and being hospitalised for a week at the worse hospital I have ever stayed at (yes it was an NHS hospital), I was diagnosed with this rare disease or illness or whatever (the doctors didn’t really know what it was either). During my week there, I was tested over and over again to discover why my abdominal pains were causing me to pass out, eventually, a doctor decided that it was gynaecological and that I had to take the contraceptive pill to prevent the passing out and the abdominal pains.
For over a year, I quietly obeyed my doctors, taking my pill like a good girl should, stopping only for the seven day period where that bitch aunt flow comes to visit.
A few months ago, when I went to visit a different doctor for a re-prescription of my pills, he told me that he was going to change my pills because due to my family history of strokes and heart attacks, the pill I was currently taking was dangerous. Blindly I obeyed, what do I know? I write for a living.
The doctor prescribed a different type of contraceptive pill; he referred to them as POP pills and told me that I should take them every day without stopping. Those pills were hell, for three months I had PMS every day. EVERY DAY! The doctor told me that if I took the pill, I’d never have a period. That back fired!
I took myself off the pills and for a while I was fine but then the abdominal pains returned, and so this brings us back to a few weeks ago when I decided to go to my doctor to get my original contraceptive pills. The ones that didn’t make me bleed every day and hate the world and everyone in it. I figured I’d rather have a heart attack than live such an unbearable life.
the idiot doctor clicked on her internet explorer icon (who still uses internet explorer) and then went onto Google and typed in my illness and my symptoms.
There I asked my doctor the question that I have been trying to ask every medical professional I have encountered since I was diagnosed with this sounds-like-a-made-up-disease, endometriosis, what the hell is endometriosis?!
I should have known that my question fell on deaf ears; my idiot doctor sat there and told me that she didn’t know much about it, that not a lot of women have it and that there was no cure. That’s comforting, I thought, but what the hell is it?!
Seeing my frustration, the idiot doctor clicked on her internet explorer icon (who still uses internet explorer) and then went onto Google and typed in my illness and my symptoms.
“Yeah, it a gynaecological illness,” she said as she read her screen, “It’s caused by these things in your stomach during periods. The only time it doesn’t happen is when you’re pregnant, hence the pill, because the pill makes your body think that you’re pregnant. If you want to know more, you should Google it. We used to have leaflets but we don’t have them anymore.”
And there it was, her medical opinion, go home and Google it. Yeah sure thing darling, it just my life that you’re fucking with, no biggie.
She gave me a prescription for my original contraceptive pills and told me that I should be okay to take them.
“Is this your medical opinion?” I asked.
The joke was lost on idiot doctor. Never the less I haven’t used the NHS since and I have no immediately plans to do so. My mum’s with BUPA and she let me on her plan and they are amazing.
I may have been a fan of the NHS but I’m not anymore, though it’s slightly comforting knowing that if this whole writing thing doesn’t work out, with my sick Google skills, I could become a fully pledged NHS doctor in no time at all!
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