New Video Game Lets You Live The Andy Carroll Dream

Now you too can live the live of a professional footballer both on and off the pitch thanks to the new first person video game I AM PLAYR.
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Now you too can live the live of a professional footballer both on and off the pitch thanks to the new first person video game I AM PLAYR.

We've just got wind that a new computer game is about to be unveiled. Not just any computer game though, you won't be scratching around for gold coins, saving a princess or killing the prostitute to get your money back in this one, this game is going to let you live the life of a professional footballer.

We R Interactive, the design team who claim to “bring together award winning film production with video game development to immerse users in a new type of interactive entertainment” are set to announce I AM PLAYR, the first ever 'point-of-view' based social footballing game.

From what we've been told, 'I AM PLAYR' will virtually let you play as a member of fictional football team, River Park FC. You'll be in total control of all the footballing and lifestyle decisions that players face and you'll be encouraged to develop your on-field skills as well as enhance your celebrity status.

I mean, SHIT THE BED, what!? Every training and lifestyle decision? They're actually going to let me haggle over my appearance fee and waltz from nightspot to nightspot, glassing any DJ who won't get the Phil Collins on? Pinch me.

Sure, other games boast the chance to receive a cross from Phil Neville but they're not going to let me call him a prick and slash his tyres at training.

As if that wasn't exciting enough, it revolves around a story penned by former Dream Team writer Lewis Georgeson. You remember Dream Team right? It was essentially the drunken love-child of Hollyoaks and Mean Machine. Boardroom adultery, cup final assassinations, exploding stadiums, absolutely nothing was considered too far-fetched during the shows 419 outings on Sky 1. If the escapades of Harchester United are anything to go on, they we're all in for a treat here.

Little is known about the game thus far, one would like to assume that it will utilise the latest Wii-esque toys being offered by the Playstation and the Xbox but, either way, it already looks to have the edge over the many 'Be A Player' modes you can find on current football games. Sure they boast the chance to receive a cross from Phil Neville but they're not going to let me call him a prick and slash his tyres at training.

It will apparently be playable as something of an interactive video, so no dodgy graphics. Add to that the first person perspective it's boasting and you can't help but conjure up memories of this recent Nike advert. I can't have been the only person who saw that and thought it would make a great game.

They've even got Teddy Sheringham to lend his considerable acting talents to the project, which presumably rules Andy Cole out of a late cameo.

But of course, we've been down this road once or twice before, there are a few free Flash games out there, notably this one, that try to balance developing your football skills, with fingering birds in the back of a Land Rover, in equal measure. But so far nobody has thought to take it to a major platform, until now.

There's a million serious gameplay questions that the developers will need to answer. Will my 5-in-a-bed video be splashed all over the papers? Can I make a sly move on a team-mate's wife? How do I unlock Kevin Nolan's house? All will soon be revealed.