I have always treated celebrities who do any kind of public charitable events with a great deal of suspicion. With a cynical eye I read that David Walliams was to swim down the Thames in aid of Sports Relief.
So in a bid to get of rid of my cynicism I have decided to "help" David in the arduous task that he has undertaken.
Every night since David started his swim I have driven up to Vauxhall bridge at 7pm ( my wife makes me have our evening meal, otherwise I would go earlier) and I wee into the Thames. As a very proud Londoner I'm not peeing into Old Father Thames as a disrespectful gesture, I genuinely love this town, especially the southern side of it, but I'm doing it to assist David as ecologically soundly as I can. I can't heat the river by bringing a kettle. That would be a massive waste of energy, so I am using mother natures own hot water. I do realise that I alone cannot heat the meandering beauty that is the Thames alone. This is where you come in, please could you see it your hearts and bladders to make your way to the river at any point west of Westminster bridge before 7pm everyday whilst David is swimming. His task is difficult enough but the cold murky water must be compounding the misery. If you eat some asparagus or/and beetroot I'm pretty sure Mr Walliams would appreciate the fragrance and purplish hue to his liquid environs.
So please join my campaign on twitter @boydie71 to #pissforwalliams
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