Spambots: Ruining Twitter One Intrusion At A Time

Spambots, spambots whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
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Spambots, spambots whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?


Christ they’re annoying.

They are currently popping up on Twitter like melanoma. Forget the Cylon invasion this is an epidemic sullying procrastination worldwide. Your mentions page is no doubt littered with targeted spam from twitter eggs highlighting just how rock and roll the contents of your feed is not. Savings and income security for later in life? Need a recipe for cottage cheese? Want a boiler check and repair? Despite these examples I am not a decrepit old lady with money worries and a penchant for low fat dairy but those pesky bots have gleaned certain words from my timeline to try and flog me shit. I don’t want any of it thank you.  And while I’m at it no I am not interested in a free ipad 3, I’m perfectly happy with my Casio Speak and Spell.

When they are not telling you how you could earn £430 quid a day from your tweets, or suggesting ways you can be less of a fattyboombatty they are trying to change your mind on deeply held beliefs. My Godless tweets have recently attracted spambots of a religious kind. As if Christian music could possibly save me! Yes the contents of your tweets are dictating your spam. Harp on about your back pain incessantly and the chiropractors are coming for you, talk up your alcoholism and someone is going to try and save your soul or give you free hooch. Tweet one to many remarks about the sight of Don Draper making you moist and the spambot’s sexy division will be all over you like a rash.

Syria? Kony2012? I guess it’s about asking your self what’s really important

Having only been on Twitter myself since January this year my followers are currently a respectable 126. Not too shabby. Good effort. However if I didn’t spend time blocking the pornbots flaunting me their anuses my follower count would rival that of the most prestigious twitterati. It would make Gaga weep and Fry shit mars bars.

Shanice653217 is now following you. Kitty69 is now following you, KimberlyXXX is now.. you get the picture. Although my personal favourites are the covert, less obvious pornbots. The ones of innocent looking girls whose tweets at a glance mimic hallmark saccharine –laced sentiments, just a pretty young thing looking to up her follower count… Oh wait, what’s this link under her and her puppy:  Ah, I see.

So what’s to be done? Fucked if I know. I’m not a techie wizard. I just wrote this for a bit of a moan because it’s irrating init. No insight or progressive ideas here, move along.

Ok, we could all join the twitter campaign Pornbot Ban. I don’t know about you guys but that sounds like a worthy cause if ever I heard one. Syria? Kony2012? I guess it’s about asking your self what’s really important.  Or we could head back over to Facebook where spam is limited to raceforlife requests and  ‘ OMG embarrassing! Look what happened when this dad caught his daughter on webcam’ links. Or, final idea, we could just carry on whinging. After all the Olympics is getting a bit old hat now.

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