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Spotted Harlow: The Funniest, Most Awful Facebook Feed You'll Read All Day

by Top Film Tip
31 July 2013 11 Comments

Entirely addictive, impossible to Unlike and as utterly compelling as it is revoltingly shocking. Welcome to Harlow.

Harlow, in Essex, is a New Town taunted by the lush affluence of Hertfordshire on one side and Stansted Airport’s tantalising hope of escape on the other. Built after WW2 to help ease overcrowding in London, it boasts not only one of the largest social housing percentages of any town in England (30% of properties owned by the local council) but also a per capita unemployment rate  which consistently exceeds the national average by a sturdy 10%. In short, it has all the unfortunate makings of a comedy/tragedy goldmine.

I have commuted to Harlow every working day for the last five years and the stories I bring back from my colleagues and co-workers never fail to keep my friends and family in a state of perpetual astonishment. The problem has always been that I can never substantiate the deluge of “my friend at work knows a guy who….pulled his tooth out with pliers rather than spending £14.90 at the dentist opposite his house / smurfs people with his monster penis when drunk / lives solely on a diet of Guinness and hard boiled eggs / had a monkey that committed suicide, etc” tales I bring home every week. Until, that is, Spotted: Harlow launched on Facebook.

Spotted: Harlow is supplied with its daily fuel of stories from the good people of Harlow, submitted anonymously, the awful, wonderful, shocking and hilarious goings on of this landlocked island of insanity are thoroughly documented and discussed, often by those involved, for the amusement and lamentation of anyone brave enough to look. Still not convinced? Try this-

That’s right, the gems that appear on Spotted: Harlow often occur in multitudes, simultaneously repulsing, fascinating and downright astonishing Facebook users all at once. The brutal honesty of these submissions is to be admired, the events depicted in text and image which grace smartphone screens nationwide are just too damn bizarre to be manufactured. Harlow is like a mystical lens both magnifying the frequency of these freakish occurrences whilst also amplifying the intensity of events which might otherwise take place once in a blue moon elsewhere.

 

It should be noted that Harlow is not a white trash town, it hosts a full diversity of lifestyle choices such as these Travellers stopping for a drive through McDonalds-

With their horse and cart.

Spotted: Harlow isn’t only a rubber necking , point and laugh feed, it also carries romantic advice for the thousands of Harlow’s men seeking female companionship, as seen here-

And here-

As the old adage goes “ a picture tells a thousand words” but on Spotted Harlow, a picture of words tells a thousand times more, as this sexual and romantic advice for one particular young lady shows-

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And that’s just the posts, once you get into the comments on the posts Facebook users will uncover arguments that make Jeremy Kyle look like Prime Ministers Question Time….

It simply can’t be denied that Spotted: Harlow is a modern marvel, not exactly celebrating the excesses and immorality of it’s townsfolk, but not wholly condemning them either. It is entirely addictive, impossible to Unlike and as utterly compelling as it is revoltingly shocking.

If you like it, Pass it on

image descriptionCOMMENTS

TopFilmTip 11:02 am, 31-Jul-2013

Should have mentioned that all the posts from Spotted Harlow in this article were captured over one 12 hour period.

The Baron 11:26 am, 31-Jul-2013

Shouldn't have bothered. Sad twat.

Fr3sh 11:43 am, 31-Jul-2013

why not? its pretty funny imo. dickhead.

The Baron 5:47 pm, 31-Jul-2013

Suck ya mam, Fr3sh. It could only be funny to a wanker who awrds himself a name such as Fr3sh. The only fresh thing about ya is the semen leaking out of your back passage.

TopFilmTip 7:08 pm, 31-Jul-2013

Lets keep friendly, it's just a bit of fun.

rabs bus 9:58 pm, 31-Jul-2013

i thought this was funny as fuck. britains full of towns that deserve a fb page like the one in this article. the baron did you ever manage to get rid of your vest tan? an how do you feel about some bird slaggin off your birds violent boxer?

KJW 1:46 pm, 1-Aug-2013

ha ha I thought this was hilarious! Seems to be a lot of women in Harlow who subscribe to bartering theory, exchanging goods as payment rather than cash....P.S. rabs bus, great reply, boom!

dovesong 5:41 pm, 2-Aug-2013

I've seen a far better one then this,Burnley where I live have one called 50 shades of Burnley,we've made local news papers national papers ect,our MP is outraged well he is a lib dem.

TopFilmTip 8:14 pm, 2-Aug-2013

Thanks the feedback. Will check out the burnley feed. TFT

WastedPotential 9:58 pm, 11-Aug-2013

You should see Middlesbrough's spotted page. Ruthless.

TopFilmTip 9:43 pm, 31-Jan-2014

It seems that since August 2013 Spotted Harlow has turned into a rubbish 'vote for the best couple' kind of dull insipid drek.

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