Sympathy For The Devil But Not The NOTW Staff

A lot of people have expressed sympathy for the NOTW staff, but surely working for the rag was like walking into a brothel and offering your sources as a professional French kisser?
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A lot of people have expressed sympathy for the NOTW staff, but surely working for the rag was like walking into a brothel and offering your sources as a professional French kisser?

Prostitutes learn how to develop the ability to disassociate themselves from the vagina and anus in a way they cannot successfully manage to do with their mouths - hence the ‘no kissing’ rule. Perhaps it is something to do with proximity: the mouth is just too physically near to the brain for the mind to disengage from the sensation of what is being inserted. So you can live with a foreign insertion if it takes place two-feet south of the brain but not when it is only a few inches below.

And if this rule - this law of psycho-physiogeography - has any merit, then it follows that the least distressing task for a sex worker to perform should be a foot job. Or, at the literal extremities of this idea, some act involving the toe. (I’ll leave you here to cast your own net into the clouded depths of the Internet to see what dot-com evidence you can disturb and haul off the ocean floor; I would recommended www.sexy-motherfooters.com if I hadn’t just made it up.)

This rule, however, and peculiarly, does not seem to apply within the realm of sex work to oral sex .Strange how a penis can be borne in the mouth whereas a tongue cannot. So it seems that there is a measurable and in/tolerable difference in the idea of intimacy invoked by those two organs. And it is just that: an idea - that is, it’s all in the mind. Even though a tongue, you would think, would be the preferred choice, if only for it’s relative size (except perhaps in the unusual instance of a person’s tongue being larger than their penis and no, not even for the purposes of a cheap and easy laugh, I am not for one single second going to entertain the notion of alluding to Jamie Oliver damn). 

But again, perhaps it comes back to proximity, and the closer connection between the tongue and the brain: the one rooted so intimately near to the other.

I wondered how many people involved in the production of the News Of The World had to disassociate themselves from what was going on in the journalistic genital area

What the Dickens am I getting at here?

I think it is that there are worse things in life than temporarily renting out parts of your body, and one of those things is the selling-off of what it is that makes you what you are. So you can buy someone’s time and you can bear to sell off time of your own, as long as you know that someone is not buying (and that you are not selling) your mind and soul. 
 And I had all this in (my) mind because I was thinking again about the News Of The World implosion. I wondered how many people involved in the production of the News Of The World had to disassociate themselves from what was going on in the journalistic genital area in order to allow themselves to function at work without repeatedly opening their mouths and violently emitting porridge-coloured ropes of vomit at their computer screens and until the screens fizzed and steamed.

Without that disassociation, how many News International computers would have short-circuited with a loud bang and a firework-like crackle of sparks - not to mention throwing off potentially dangerous diced-carrot-shrapnel blowback? Yes: out… eye… you could have had someone’s…

We are, as the t-shirt says, all prostitutes in some way. And it is very difficult to live a pure life. Increasingly difficult, in fact, in these globalised, monopolistic times, when more and more outlets are owned by fewer companies, and so it’s ever more likely that the book/film/TV programme/ album that you always wanted to see the blight of day will have some connection to the companies you don’t particularly like. Or that you might be tempted or even feel forced to seek employment among them. But, still, working directly for the News of the World? Wasn’t that a bit like walking into a brothel and offering your services as professional French kisser.

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