The Art of Twitter Bashing

After spending hours watching girl on girl keyboard wars, I have decided that social media is destroying us all.
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After spending hours watching girl on girl keyboard wars, I have decided that social media is destroying us all.


After spending an entire day refreshing my twitter newsfeed to keep up with the girl on girl keyboard war, I have come to the conclusion that social networking is #RuiningLives. Gone are the days of Trojan battles and spearing… Now all you have to do is brainstorm a couple of bitchy quotes and click enter. Young people are hiding themselves behind their computer screens and unleashing their devil within in a desperate bid for retweets, likes and favourites. People are jumping over hurdles and kicking each other’s shins in the social networking version of the Olympic Games where the top prize is no less than No.1 Twat.

Nowadays, your place in society and ranking on the social ladder entirely depends on your amount of ‘cool’ followers and whether you reach above seven on the evil scale. The art of throwing a quick witted comeback has been lost in twitter translation and replaced by ‘indirect’ comments, and the ability to subtly/humorously enforce your point is ruined by capitalisation. LIKE, THIS GIRL IS A HO. And who wins these wars? The chick with the evilest backers who are just waiting to mercilessly pounce on anything (or anyone) they’re fed through Facebook and Twitter. Cue the involvement of hormonal teenage boys… Well, they’re just all like “take your top off!” Yes, I just quoted Mean Girls.

So anyway, I’m scrolling through my newsfeed pausing for a second on the BBC Breaking News update and then Ooh-ing at the latest Heatworld post when I see this: “@anonymous1: Red lipstick with THAT dress? WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!!” vs “@anonymous2: You gotta love indirect tweets. GIRL YOU’RE ALL UP IN MY GRILL” *virtual hair flick*. Sooo Lucy MiC style and frankly, rather naff. And after a 40 minute showdown involving the flinging around of vitriol soaked insults, 15 unfollows and 27 retweets, the end result is pretty much indifferent to the start. Spectators go back to their prior duties (such as being normal, kind and hardworking human beings) and the ringleaders are left feeling deflated, defeated and PROBABLY REALLY STUPID.

Extremely Childish and Bullying Behaviour Between Two Or More People Over The World Of Cyberspace or ‘twitter beef’ as it is more frequently referred to is however, not just restricted to the playground. Celebrities and people in the public eye are being twitter bashed every day for the things they may have said, done or in Kim Kardashian’s case, worn…


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Let’s take Kim K as an example, shall we? Every human being, dog, cat and fish in the world will have heard or read something about Kimmy’s offending maternity wardrobe over the past 8 months. She has been splashed across the front page of every newspaper and magazine in the country, and the sun recently published a photo of her in a black and white dress that made her look: “fresh from SeaWorld on a lunch date” which was then spammed all over twitter and became famous as the ‘Shamu vs. Kim - who wore it better’ pic. No really, you can Google it. Needless to say, a teeny bit harsh. Of course, as the self-respecting business woman, couture via Dorothy Perkins designer and creative home movie maker, our girl Kim publically bashed back saying: “Nothing looks good on pregnant women! I’m just wearing what fits.” You tell ‘em Kimmy!

It can’t be denied that everyone active on social media sometimes feels the need to vent through twitter. Hell, sometimes there’s even a rush out of crushing someone down to size in 140 precious characters. But, there is a Great Wall of China between a “my boss needs a shot of tequila and a kick up the arse” tweet and a hate fuelled blast designed to belittle, embarrass or humiliate someone just for an increase in your page stats. Like, can you say #hashslag?

So, what, may you ask is the point of all this computer hatin’? Well, the question remains unanswered and would be just too easy to put down to the buzz of a 30 minute power trip. What’s the real deal with this desperation for acceptance and status over the World Wide Web, and just how far can it go? The world of internet bashing is growing by the minute; what’s next? Will world war 3 be declared over Twitter with regular explosion updates from Instagram? Stranger things have happened… #RantOver.