And of course with this thankless celebration of our noble Queen comes a republican stand. A little bit of Oliver Cromwell can be found in so many, as the streets are lined with red, blue and white and the teacakes are baked aplenty.
Irregular and unfounded figures are thrust one way and to the next; the costly exposure of our gracious Queen, as the Euro-competing footballers erect themselves tall and recount their passion and unity at 60 years of reign.
Well perhaps the argument to abolish comes in some cases founded. The adverse and negative effects of our hat-wearing state head are not always inexplicable; she may indeed be a complimenting reason for class warfare, an additive to segregation between the proper and the not so. Indeed, some of us know how to pour our tea correctly. Some of us do not.
But as republican financial incision is fluttered about like an ill-thought-out yearn for plastic revolution, I cannot but sit and fluctuate. Why bother hating her? It would be far too much effort to dismantle the monarchy. As if this alone will propel us to a more just and equal society. It will not, it is not a step in the right direction but a naïve and expensive dream. We may as well keep her on the throne as long as her existence is financially viable.
The Queen pays her taxes, she bolsters tourism to an insatiable degree and what’s more, she heads up and gives identity to all those men and women who feel proud to be British. The pros outweigh the cons; history remembers rules and reigns and Heston Blumenthal has even given us a little taste of Royalty for all to enjoy.
No, I will not be celebrating the Jubilee. I will be sat in my boxer shorts hungover as with many of my age; probably moaning about how many whiskeys I had the night before and perhaps sampling a slice or two of pizza. But that said, I find no real reason to disregard this timely rejoice completely. If your street is partying, or the field at the bottom of the village is abundant with picnics, do not feel as though your whole world is crashing down; just keep calm and carry on dear.
The Queen is here. She pays for her existence, and as long as she does so there is no need for disposition and a pent-up republican belief.
For what of the swans? What of our armed forces and what of our palaces and prestige? Those things that bring people here in the first place. What of all those ‘Americans’ who feel but obliged to saunter over to our blessed isle and taste for the first time some scones. Oh, scones. Imagine life without them? With the desecration of our monarch a ban on scones would surely follow? ‘Oh but we don’t serve scones any more my dear, they remind us all of, you know…her.’ Oh please.
The Queen is here. She pays for her existence, and as long as she does so there is no need for disposition and a pent-up republican belief. Fine, she’s privileged, and her family is lucky to have all those horses to ride; but who else is to act as a likeable, favoured ambassador, who else will read stuff out at Christmas? David Beckham? If anything, she is a means to an end.
But then, of course, the needless class compulsion once again begins to sound through republican trumpets. Well, class is deeper-rooted within our society than a crowned woman and some big houses. Class is in all of us, it is with us when we are born and it is with us when we die. The eradication of such takes morality and education, not a president instead of a queen. Sure, in my opposition to private education the royals may see a problem in schooling their fortunate divine, but I see no issue with future prince and princesses sitting next to little Jimmy Longstocking and flicking soggy paper at the ceiling. They would probably be better for it.
But what I do struggle with is a crowd thrashing around and complaining about a woman who has almost certainly worked a lot harder than they have. And sure she might be ‘her majesty’ but I bet most who are so vocal as to her destruction have had a blessed life all the same. As all the Brighton and Bristol cool double take and discount the royals, feeling that they have super-seeded conformity and are totally down with equality, they still get their accommodation paid for and their art doesn’t really challenge that much, does it?
It is just so horribly cliché to stroll through university halls and hear of revolution, when a royal eradication would just put further strain upon the UK at a time when everything else is going wrong. All talk of bringing us into the 20th century comes at a time when Victorian freak shows such as Jeremy Kyle still buzz on our television screens and the NHS is slowly being destroyed.
There are more pressing matters at hand. Why not let her be? You do not have to applaud the diamond day, but you do not need to call for 60 years to end a monarchy once and for all. Channel that political activism into more important things like the welfare state and rising train fares.
I agree that in our society, there are serious issues of privilege, wealth distribution and an all-too-loud echo of the old-time ruling elite. But the fact is, as long as we have the ‘United Kingdom,’ as long as we are ‘British,’ we need our Queen to cement what that means. Patriotism is not particularly my cup of tea, but I still think we make the best cup. Who cares if her face is on some people’s china? She’s not on mine, but I wouldn’t care all that much if she was. It’s not as if she’s Margaret Thatcher, is it?
Click here for more stories about Life
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook