Tumblr is the crack cocaine of digital consumption – goes the now well-worn similitude. But it's true. And, in the words of Super Hans, "That crack is really moreish." So have a puff on the 10 coolest interent Tumblrs...
Texts from Bennett is probably my favourite ever Tumblr – certainly the one I visit most often. Bennett is the creator's 17-year-old, unemployed, semi-illiterate cousin. Here you'll find a catalogue of his spectacularly stupid and unintentionally hilarious texts. Bennett on STDs: “Re-tard i shower rite after i cum b4 Stds can actavate.”
A macabre painting of Whitney Houston being fondled by a lecherous Jesus; gurning sociopathic Christian storyteller – looks like he's “on-lists” – singing silly/offensive songs for cheap laughs from kids, before psychologically abusing them with gruesome imagery; Rick Santorum appealing to gun-bummers at a shooting range, while a crazed woman howls, “Pretend it’s Obama” … Christians are into the most abhorrent shit imaginable. Most of which can be found here.
Nick Clegg. Looking Sad. The coward.
Awesome People Hanging Out Together is one of the biggest productivity black holes on the internet. Click here and kiss goodbye to the next hour. GZA, RZA and Bill Murray … Serge Gainsbourg and Ray Charles … Leonard Cohen, Chuck Berry and Keith Richards … Robert De Niro and Joe Strummer … And 35 pages more.
The weathered faces of an arduous bygone era, dead behind the eyes, staring straight through you; strange, starchy clothing, full of geometrically anomalous shapes and myriad shades of brown; luxurious chest hair and dense beards – same goes for the men; hair-hats, the most incredible hair-hats; neck-breaking spectacles that cover three-quarters of the face … Bullseye Contestants has been doing the rounds for ages. But it's fucking brilliant, isn't it.
A large part of Tumblr's success, as far as I can see, is built on pages full of meretricious pictures of hipsters, taken or stolen by other hipsters. This is probably the best of those kind of Tumblrs: full of attractive, semi-naked women and expensive, equally lascivious bottles of booze.
I Love Charts is a Tumblr page by people who love charts, for people who love charts, spawning countless internet memes. Cakes, politics, men, women, cats, atheist barbies, Star Wars, sharks, how to become a superhero, rubbish, vampires … everything imaginable, and more, has its very own chart.
CLIENT: Great! Now can you add Mickey Mouse to the page?
ME: There may be some licensing issues with that. Do you have an affiliation with Disney? Can you supply me with an image you have permission to use?
The client sends me the first Mickey Mouse image he finds on Google Images.
Client: Can you add a football and animate it so he is kicking it?
ME: No, I’m not an animator.
CLIENT: Do you know someone that can do this?
ME: Walt Disney could.
CLIENT: Great! Can he do it in the budget?
A collection of properly funny – if infuriating – client horror stories collected from designers … “Can’t you just zip it? Just zip it!”
Literally Unbelievable is a collection of stories from the Onion – an American news satire site – and the reactions they garner on Facebook.
Sample story: "Obama caught lip-synching speech."
Facebook reaction: "i am so sick & tired of "elitist celebrities” lip synching their “performances”! we have to smarten-up & realize that this Reality is so manipulated to this extreme..."
Onion-like Headlines in Real Life proves that fact is often stranger than fiction. Here's a few mental heads:
STUDY: RICH MORE LIKELY TO TAKE CANDY FROM BABIES
MAN BURSTS INTO FLAMES AFTER ACCIDENTALLY DRINKING GASOLINE, LIGHTING CIGARETTE
BOUND, NAKED IN A SUBARU: VALENTINE'S ROLE-PLAYING ENDS BADLY
No. What? Of course not. Piss off. This entire article wasn't just one, long, elaborate ploy to plug our own Tumblr. But while you're at it … Give this a click, eh?
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