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The Only Way Is Dalston? Pass Me My Shotgun

Italian Vogue calls it the 'coolest place in London', I call it an obnoxious, misogynistic, racist dump. Now there's talk of a reality show called Only Way is Dalston - and I shudder to think what twats they'll get to populate that.

I’ve always had a bit of a hate-hate relationship with Dalston, North East London:

Dalston is supposedly the coolest place in Britain. Italian Vogue says so, and Christ knows I’ve always listened to what they have to say about pretty much anything. Not only do they plough on with all of Vogue’s best modern qualities, like keeping anorexia as the teenage girl’s number one pastime, but they also show an appreciation of the classic Vogue sensibilities by staying vaguely racist wherever possible, like segregation on their website – how timeless.

Now, you can accuse me of not being religiously on-trend, but Dalston is a fucking dump. Not because of the areas of deprivation, the lack of social mobility, or the exclusion that lots of the people have to experience. No, I can safely say the reason it’s a real culture abscess is because of the sheer volume of people who want to be erroneously regarded as creative. They don’t understand: to be creative they actually have to produce something. Dalston epitomises the post-2000 London of obnoxious irony and rudeness disguised as self-belief. They’ll fucking inspect you before moving out of your way, if they move at all. They’ll not lower their entitled public school voice when I’m just trying to have a nice quiet pint of Life Invigorator.

How much can I hate? I don’t know, but you’re fucking testing it right now, pal.

The new influx enjoy regarding themselves as coyly positioned at the artistic vanguard. They know people who write for Vice.  They know people who DJ. They might even know someone who knows someone who designs clothes. Regardless of whether you like the kind of stuff that these people in Dalston produce, and I really don’t as I’m a joyless misanthrope, at least they are creating. However, that’s about sixteen people. The rest are only here to regard and appreciate without reservation.

“Dalston epitomises the post-2000 London of obnoxious irony and rudeness disguised as self-belief.”

You can spot them at four hundred paces. They’ve got a shaved back and sides coupled with a Morrissey quiff. They’ve got sockless loafers or boat shoes (what diversity!) and rolled up skinny jeans. You can tell if it’s raining or not, because you can look out your window to see if their barbours are on their backs. Despite being devoted to originality, they can’t register the irony in their hipster uniform. It seems the only irony they enjoy tallies with Jimmy Carr’s irony about racism and misogyny.  They don’t understand irony, they’re racist and misogynistic.

The reason they find it so hard to criticise anything is because they’re so desperate not to miss out on the new. The Dalston Superstore that opened last year is regarded as the balls-out-of-the-bath coolest place to be in Dalston. In reality, it’s filled with with desperate post-25ers, clinging to their last vestiges of youth. They drink a lot, not for a good time. They drink because the belly has started to go, the hangovers have started to tell. There are crows’ feet landing, and the crows are taking a dump on the rest of their face. They’re so self-obsessed that my friend shone a keyring light at the people there and watched as they posed, thinking it was a camera.

Opportunity has evaded them. They don’t know what to do, but it looks increasingly likely that in real – crushingly real – life, they’ll be moving from office admin to office supervisor pretty bloody soon. Always assuming that they’ll eventually make it, but with no idea how, they now find themselves working in slate-grey office life in an industry they’ve not got an interest in.   They’re now subscribing to the belief that once they finally stop having to cover reception or get the food for meetings that they’re somebody, because that’s the only measure of progress they’ve made. As much as they believe they deserve it, nobody’s reading their blog about their weekly k-hole and hilarious friends. The Sunday Times Style section won’t be slavering over them any time soon.

These people believe that a justifiable status update on Facebook is to announce where they are at that given time. ‘I’m in the pub about to go to watch the xx!’ Call me a miserable bastard (I am), but when did people start treating their Facebook page like it’s their fucking fansite? Since they moved to Dalston. Does anyone have a place to rent?

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

simonmason 4:44 pm, 4-Jun-2010

About the size of it, at least those of us that have lived in the area a long time (10+ years) have really got something to laugh at now though! Cunts the lot of 'em

Baz 4:54 pm, 4-Jun-2010

the person who wrote this is a complete and utter Berkshire hunt.

Ollie I 7:15 pm, 4-Jun-2010

‘I’m in the pub about to go to watch the xx!’ Did you run this past Luke??

Alexander 10:31 pm, 4-Jun-2010

Baz, sorry, but we don't need cunts to make comments. Bye!

Alexander 8:50 am, 5-Jun-2010

He got a special preview, Ollie.

Richard 10:22 am, 5-Jun-2010


Al 10:24 am, 5-Jun-2010

I went to a Banksy exhibition in Dalston in 2003. It's the only cool thing I've ever done in my life. Don't spoil it.

Niall 12:02 pm, 5-Jun-2010

Quality stuff. Like moths to a flame, drawn to a place they neither know or understand but blind stupidity tells them it is the place for them. The fuckwits. No talent, no insight and no understanding. Not unlike Martin Freeman challenging Tim Lovejoy on his choice of t-shirt: "So you like The Ramones, Tim?" "yeah, yeah, they're quality" "So, can you name a song? One of their albums?"......a long, drawn-out silence, punctuated by Lovejoy's shit-eating grin. Hmmmmmmm.

Mr Patrick 5:14 pm, 5-Jun-2010

I've never heard of Dalston before.... must be a London thing, eh?

JC 7:33 pm, 5-Jun-2010

Couldn't agree more. Lived in south London all my life, and have witnessed a slow transformation of various parts of the city. Worked in Shoreditch in 1998-99 and it was taking shape then, and has been infecting other areas ever since. It's happening in Camberwell as we speak. Nice piece, will look out for more...

Luke 8:17 pm, 5-Jun-2010

he didn't, ollie- otherwise it would have read "rolled-up stone-washed skinny jeans" no research

Vai Tibi 6:36 am, 6-Jun-2010

'Berkley' Baz, 'Berkly' Hunt! as used by Spike Milligan in a very early Goons Show. Yes, I know I should get out more.

Selina 12:48 pm, 7-Jun-2010

I lost my high heel in Dalston

Alexander V 8:28 am, 8-Jun-2010

The discovery that there is nothing to aspire to but a strip of chicken cottages and a shit pub run by a miserable bastard from a band you used to love - liberating! The fact that middle class middle England immigrants celebrate any part of Hackney (or indeed East London) except perhaps Stoke Newington (which is revolting in its own way) - mildly irritating. Let them eat cake and defecate onto a canvas. I can't wait to leave Hackney for the 2nd (and final) time. I'm not poor enough to suffer the ignominy of forced-exposure to my own kind any longer.

M 7:30 pm, 8-Jun-2010

If you dont believe it for yourself buy a day return to dalston and one of these bad boys really won't be surprised at the results!

jesusjohn 6:32 pm, 9-Jun-2010

...they do have the enviably-named Jules Pipe as mayor, though. Money can't buy that. But the pubs that have had their Victorian tile and brickwork inexcusably painted black and the inane posturing of those you've so superbly skewered here is nothing compared to the disparity between the easy lives they lead and the 'deprivation, the lack of social mobility, or the exclusion' you also point to.

Tom 10:36 pm, 9-Jun-2010

Thanks for writing this, I've been a resident since 2006 and in just that short time have seen the place change ridiculously quickly. It does concern me when I catch myself imagining the scene of London Fields being bombed one Summer day and thinking about how satisfying that would be. Unfortunately though, the idiots are winning. This sums it up perfectly:

CKone 4:34 pm, 14-Jun-2010

Wow! i wish as morally pristine as you to publish an article passing supreme moral judgement on a cross section of people you've never met. All because they live in one of the few London areas left thats cheap enough to allow you to wear daft clothes, listen to good music and generally be young and have fun (as generations of Londons youth have for decades). What, pray tell, is your 'acceptable' alternative to this sinister lifestyle? You do have one don't you? I mean you wouldn't just publish such a judgement without having a superior alternative would you? Otherwise that would be tantamount to cowardice, right?

Liv 8:04 am, 16-Jun-2010

CKone's tone is hysterical. The use of "pray tell" made me choke on my morning coffee. It was like being told off by a spinster headmistress. Why would you call yourself CKone? That scent smells like pee and hairspray.

Sarah 5:02 pm, 12-Aug-2010

I love and loathe Dalston and agree it is a dump but there are pockets of joy (the Rio Cinema, the Jazz Cafe etc). As for the dwellers described well I have met them, I know them and I am also one of them and there are times when even I cringe at the self absorption and pretence.

swedishrockstar 11:18 am, 18-Aug-2010

And fixie bikes. Don't forget the fucking fixie bikes. Despicable twat-transport for the *hordes* of identical rolled-up, skinny jeaned arseholes who genuinely think they're doing things differently.

simon 2:29 pm, 19-Aug-2010

Dalston Juntion to New cross by new overland train? not already called ghetto-link? should be!

Dan 3:58 pm, 19-Aug-2010

Just because aspects of peoples dress conform to the mass doesn't make them a cunt. Maybe they like geting their hair cut that way and they just like Barbours because they will last (this fucking site told me where the Barbour factory shop is!). Fixies also look better than mountain bikes or BMX's for getting around. I agree with the view that people who think they 'know somebody' and will 'make it' are migrating to certain places and this is very, very sad. The keyring story, if true, is very funny. But didn't i just vote on the 'Esquire' (who retweeted this article) best dressed staffer. I swear 90% were sockless and in slim fitting trousers...hmmmm

Alexander 4:15 pm, 19-Aug-2010

Dan, You can have people with more than one opinion on a website, as much as it would be nice for everyone to agree with me.

Hackney Hipster Hate 8:01 pm, 19-Aug-2010

Fight the fight, comrade.

skarlette 12:45 am, 20-Aug-2010

at least i now know why i haven't been to the superstore, i'm under 25 :) and surely everyone knows that people who live in dalston don't 'hang' in dalston

Benski 8:50 am, 20-Aug-2010

Future Sailors

Devil 12:44 pm, 20-Aug-2010

Aren't you just discriminating against the people you hate for supposedly discriminating? It is a bit shit, but it's the closest thing to a creative neighbourhood there is in London, non?

Alexander 12:50 pm, 20-Aug-2010

No, Devil, sorry. You've totally missed the point.

Rick 1:19 pm, 20-Aug-2010

"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." Well said Mr Hesse. There are some new rayban cuntfilter sunglasses on sale in Brick Lane though, and its only a short unicycle and twirly moustache away from Dalston.

Hate 1:21 pm, 20-Aug-2010

I'm not sure which I find more tedious. Dalston or people who write about how much they hate it.

Devil 1:25 pm, 20-Aug-2010

I'm not sure they all really think they're doing things differently, Alexander. I think it's like any neighbourhood really. Like minded people going to one area. Wearing the same kinds of clothes. Doing the same kinds of things.

Bash 1:52 pm, 20-Aug-2010

Hipsters are the easiest target in the world. If you can't be funny about them on your blog, why not be mouth-foamingly angry? Fashion kids are fashion kids, always have been, always will be. Sure there's a lot of people desperately clinging to their youth around East London, but for the most part it's just kids being kids. Leave em be and stop being resentful about getting old.

Haze Motes 3:17 pm, 20-Aug-2010

Alexander, I just wanted to congratulate you on writing the most boring, unoriginal articles I've ever read. The arrogance it must take to write something as irresolute as this on some blog for your pseudo-subversive mates to read, much less try and pass it off as some legitimate article, shit is perplexing at very least. All these dudes walking around looking like they're holidaying at Club Tropicana, they're dumb, I KNOW THIS MAN. All this righteous indignation, fronting like you're talking for some universal voice of the disenfranchised common man takes some balls man. The only people you're talking for is a bunch of unoriginal carmudgeons, lacking any opinion of their own formation.

Alexander 3:32 pm, 20-Aug-2010

Haze, Hits hits hits. Obliged, Alex

Jasleen 4:40 pm, 20-Aug-2010

I like that this comes categorised under travel... I appreciate the good work you're doing as the voice for the irritated but inarticulate masses... i'm in that masses.. and its tough times...

K 9:55 pm, 20-Aug-2010

I love this article, had to be said, its not a problem because of the way people dress or go about their ways, its just that arrogance that comes with that. They don't just buy the look, they buy the 'being a dick' to others personality with it.

john peter 11:10 am, 21-Aug-2010

im going to go down Dalston and rape their ass holes

Rokk 2:41 am, 22-Aug-2010

Hmmm, i think you need to get laid!

Mark 7:45 am, 22-Aug-2010

I have to say dalston is alot better now than it was in 1995 / 96 when I used to go to 4aces. It was kinda scary back then! But you're right I've had enough. I'm moving away too! But they do give me a source of amusement when waiting for the bus.

Pistol 9:44 am, 23-Aug-2010

This is a brilliant piece of writing, I enjoyed it a lot. With such an exhaustive rant I cant help but think this was pretty therapeutic for you Alexander! Are we chattin about the tiresome symptomatic clash of expressive individualism and social collectivism associated with the authenticity-seeking post modernity crowd? "I need a meaning to live so I need to show everyone the BIG me & somehow fit in somewhere on the fringes of urban culture"?...or are we just chatting about shitdicks who cant think for themselves and think tramps shitty pants could be the next big thing?

Pistol 10:41 am, 23-Aug-2010 thinking both

WorshipBlues 11:16 am, 23-Aug-2010

I live in Dalston and I agree with you!! I love the place but only those places where I dont find those people that you have so eloquently highlighted here. I hand around the market looking at cow feet and mangos and . I talk to the old rastas about how thngs have changed and I am now considering a move to homerton!

Michael 11:33 am, 23-Aug-2010

You can tell if it’s raining or not, because you can look out your window to see if their barbours are on their backs Sorry to be a pedant... Actually, no I'm not. But you can usually tell if it's raining or not if you look out your window and see, you know, rain.

Iain 11:35 am, 23-Aug-2010

It's quite simple don't like it or can't see the humour based around some of it then move back from which ever hole you craweled out of in the first place. If you already have and youy happy where you are then why bother comment on it unless you miss it. I live here and there are good sides and bad sides, there is also aspects from the ridiculous to the sublime, however most people here are just expressing themselves and as much as I think some of it is ridiculous, I don't have the right to be rude to them or express them in a way that is derogative, they have every right to express themselves in a democracy. In fact sometimes I find it quite amusing and intersting, even if bordering or way over on the ridiculous side, freedom of expression keeps us thinking and allows us to understand what we enjoy and agree with as to what we don't. I'd certainly not want to live in a place that is so middle of the road all I feel is blandness and the need to want to fall asleep in front of the telly as there is nothing interesting going on or sparking a conversation for whatever reason, apart from oh my neighbour cut there hedge and my side too...just my few pence added to fuel the conversation or and loving it in Dalston ;-)

Laura 11:53 am, 23-Aug-2010

What an absolute load of utter bollocks. Whoever wrote this is obviously a misinformed judgmental narrowminded twat. Dalston Superstore is the place where tourists and people all over the place go to. It is not one of the better places in Dalston. And if you did your homework and actually explored the culture around the area and maybe chatted to people instead of judging them on what they are'd realise it really is a hell of a lot cooler than your attitude.

Alexander 12:22 pm, 23-Aug-2010

a) I have live in Hackney for a few years, and worked there for longer b) Yes, I am judgemental c) The barbour jacket thing was, surprisingly, a joke and not advice.

Alexander 12:23 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I meant lived.

hhhe 12:25 pm, 23-Aug-2010

AMEN!!! I've lived here for 10years DALSTON WAS always a DUMP ,now it's a dump filled with pretentious hipster cunts pushing up rent.

Ben 12:34 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I cant remember where I read this and I hate to post without referencing but, (call me self obsessed) I wanted to wallow in some more nihilistic, misanthropic and utterly nauseating middle class affliction. "Post modernism is potentially the most depressing philosophy ever to spring from the human mind.Lost in the pomo hall of mirrors, we suspect that we have reached an endpoint in human history .The ceaseless extension of the frontiers of creativity is dead.Innovation is dead. Originality is dead.The avant garde tradition is dead.All religions and Utopian political visions are dead.And resistance to the status quo is now impossible because revolution,too, is now impossible.Like it or not, we humans are stuck in a permanent crisis of meaning, a poorly lit room from which there is no escape. The holocaust surviving psychologist victor frankl identified patients caught in what he called the "existential vaccuum". It is a spirirtual affliction. your life feels utterly devoid of purpose. No path beckons. Bit by bit a paralytic cynicism sets in. You believe in nothing. You accept nothing as truthful, useful or significant. You assign no value to anything you are currently doing, and you cant imagine doing anything of much value in the future." So lets hope some people will still go back to Dalston, because then we will at least have something distracting to talk about.

susie 12:43 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Hmmmm, after spending a year in Oz, I came back last year to Hackney surprised to find 300 trendies with more fur coats than you'd find on Brick lane adorning Dalston Cross at 11pm on a Friday night! Queueing for a club! Quite a difference from when I left to the sounds of rastas yelling "bet you like a good banging girl!" I also noticed that someone had build a hamster prison over the trainline! I moved to Hackney in 2005 and I love the place for all the good and bad, crack n k! Although really there's more white powder here than in Columbia it would seem. Albeit mostly cutting agents, the kids love spending their overdrafts on it. Just to let you know - I was out on Wednesday and apparently the Bouffon hairstyle is bad along with the tye dye grey baggy jeans with elastic on the bottom (a la MC Hammer/kidnplay) but this time they are tight jeans or at least the people in them are bursting out. It would seem to me, that it is in fact the under 25's - those who weren't indeed there the first time around in the 1980's and don't seem to realise that none of these things were cool then! and what pray tell is going on with the swedish 70's porn star moustaches. Seriously! you're 18 years old! Cut it off! that along with the polyester rejects from C&A which masquerade as "vintage" clothes. If only my pensioner mother knew how SUPERCOOL she's been throughout her whole life! Anyhoo, freedom of expression blah blah blah - emos, hipsters, whatever! choose your group - cut a frikkin weird haircut, stick on a turtle neck or something black with a deep v'neck and continue the consumerist dream! What I do love about Hackney is that it has taken me in with open arms. I have met so many wonderful people in the last 5 years that are so dear and close to my heart. It really is an amazing place and where else can 30 friends randomly meet on the way home from work without a text or a phone call, and end up drinking a few beers and watching the sun go down? Londonfields is the only place I know! Most of my mates in South London go to the gym after work and then straight home! Fuck that for a laugh! Viva Hackney and all thats in it. xx

Brian 12:46 pm, 23-Aug-2010

loved the shaved head and morrisey quiff Dalston in the Joiners on Hackney Road? :) you forgot the 80 suit jacket with shoulder pads and sleeves rolled up in miami vice kind of way ..big fk off sue pollard white glasses. I suppose when you wear jeans that tight somethings bound to go to your head. Is this the NEW WAVE UNDERGROUND....or should that be Overground :)

Adem 12:50 pm, 23-Aug-2010

As someone who's lived in Dalston and continue to work there (nothing creative) I've got to say that I love the place. A bit gay; a bit Turkish; a bit up it's own arse - it's just like me.

DalEbOy 12:52 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Lived in the area for many years, yes it has changed as do most area's,only now you cannot purchase "bush meat" for the amount of spunk sandwich,chai latte and moustache wax shops in the area!!.........thing's can only get better dear people, and if you don't like it........get off yer arse and start a fuckin revolution.

Satu 1:04 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Although I agree with the majority of your article, you're not really offering anything new here. Brooker and Morris had this summed up years ago with Nathan Barley - the amalgamation of every facet you've mentioned, so effectively you're just perpetrating the trend. Recycling opinions; this is not journalism. There are two points that immediately cause me to dislike you - the hypocrisy of calling these people judgmental given the overall tone of your piece (furthermore calling them racist, with nothing to support the claim) and secondly, calling someone a cunt for posting a differing sentiment to your own. Much as with Michael Moore, if you detest it so vehemently, move to fucking Canada and quit bitchin'.

susie 1:15 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Hmmmm, after spending a year in Oz, I came back last year to Hackney surprised to find 300 trendies with more fur coats than you'd find on Brick lane adorning Dalston Cross at 11pm on a Friday night! Queueing for a club! Quite a difference from when I left to the sounds of rastas yelling "bet you like a good banging girl!" I also noticed that someone had build a hamster prison over the trainline! I moved to Hackney in 2005 and I love the place for all the good and bad, crack n k! Although really there's more white powder here than in Columbia it would seem. Albeit mostly cutting agents, the kids love spending their overdrafts on it. Just to let you know - I was out on Wednesday and apparently the Bouffon hairstyle is bad along with the tye dye grey baggy jeans with elastic on the bottom (a la MC Hammer/kidnplay) but this time they are tight jeans or at least the people in them are bursting out. It would seem to me, that it is in fact the under 25's - those who weren't indeed there the first time around in the 1980's and don't seem to realise that none of these things were cool then! and what pray tell is going on with the swedish 70's porn star moustaches. Seriously! you're 18 years old! Cut it off! that along with the rejects from C&A which masquerade as "vintage" clothes. If only my pensioner mother knew how SUPERCOOL she's been throughout her whole life! Anyhoo, freedom of expression blah blah blah - emos, hipsters, whatever! choose your group - cut a frikkin weird haircut, stick on a turtle neck or something black with a deep v'neck and continue the consumerist dream! What I do love about Hackney is that it has taken me in with open arms. I have met so many wonderful people in the last 5 years that are so dear and close to my heart. It really is an amazing place and where else can 30 friends randomly meet on the way home from work without a text or a phone call, and end up drinking a few beers and watching the sun go down? Londonfields is the only place I know! Most of my mates in South London go to the gym after work and then straight home!

Nedim 1:17 pm, 23-Aug-2010

As someone who's been living in the area for the last 3 years, I've definitely seen a big change in the area (thankfully not as fucked up as Shoreditch) and some of the people coming in are, as the saying goes, trying too hard. But if you've been there for a while and you have your friends and you know where to go, it is still one of the nicest and most comfortable places to live in London. So I'd say look beneath the surface.

LadyRed 1:49 pm, 23-Aug-2010

If you don't like it stay in Clapham. I've lived here for 10 years, at least I can go for a coffee or a drink locally now. Even a few years ago there was no where nice (where you didn't think you'd get stabbed) to go. Ignore the trendy kids, they'll definately ignore you. Next place is Clapton anyway, Dalston is already getting too expensive for those that rent.

NicoBellik 3:07 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I don't recognise the Dalston you describe and I've lived there for quite a few years. If it helps, I am a recording studio owner, an audio engineer, a music producer and a concert promoter. Does this make me erroneously creative? I don't know anyone in Dalston that went to public school. I do know active dubstep producers, graphic designers, photographers and filmmakers. Are they erroneously creative too? I've seen a few more "hipsters" about lately, but they are very much in the minority. From your article it seems like you spent about 5 minutes in Dalston. And to Adem.. "a bit gay; a bit Turkish" that might describe you, but it doesn't describe Dalston! What is ironic is that the people you castigate are the ones that are "trying too hard".

nazism 3:21 pm, 23-Aug-2010

never have i ever seen diplomacy and reason become so stupid and inappropriate. (i am referring to satu's comment) peace x

Jonnys 3:49 pm, 23-Aug-2010

"I've always had a hate/hate relationship with Dalston". Is that right Alexander, or is it more to the point that like all the other wankers, you didn't know it existed until 2 years ago? I don't know what is more loathsome- the banality of your argument or your paranoically narcissistic self loathing. You are articulating nothing new , merely the trajectory of bobo gentrification that occurs over and over in 21st century urban life. Tom Wolfe wrote about this process in " The Painted Word" A book I very much doubt you have read, given the inelegance of your prose. Do you think that because you write for an online magazine, you have earned the right to hoist yourself above the hot struggles of the wannabes who frequent Dalston Superstore?The vast majority of whom have committed no greater sin than dressing like hipsters in the hope of getting laid.. I think you should worry less about the hipsters, learn the difference between hyperbole and journalism and pay back your mum and dad for the expensive education you have received that has taught you nothing other than how to be a nasty little spoiled brat.

Izumi 4:26 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I first came to London in 1977. Then it was King's Road (believe or not!). By late 70s - early 80s, it was Camden and Portobello. It moved to Soho by mid 80s. In the beginning of 90s, it moved to Islington after popping into Notting Hill for a short while. Then to Shorditch only to spilling into Dalston and Hackney. Yes, I love Dalston and DDS now as I loved Vortex in 70s, Taboo in 80s, because it has that elusive "it" I've been chasing for decades.

Robyn Swyne 5:33 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I'm looking forward to when the trends change as I am sick of stripey t-shirts and denim jackets.

David Salazar 7:51 pm, 23-Aug-2010

I just been living around Dalston for the past 2 years but can not remember being happier. I have lived 5 years in Victoria Park before that and at the time it was Hoxton/Shoreditch. I agree with Izumi... in the 90's it had a spell in Notting Hill which I remember to be same kind of dump. I agree with the fact that 50% of the "creative" people are actually so desparete to fit in, so keen that is pathetic. It is quite refreshing though to see the different attitude gay life has around the area. It is so different to anywhere else in London so as a gay man I embrace this. Yes Dalston is a dump, so is Whitechapel, Clapton, Hommerton and Hackney Wick (regardless if the Chapman Brothers have/had a studio there)but it is, if anything, interesting for me and for many people who come to area to find out what's going on... you said Italian Vogue but there are lots of other people watching... there must be something. Don you think? Poor Alexander... he feels left out.

Holestar 7:55 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Here's my response (PS Satu...bang on)

ZZZZZZZ 8:41 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Snorathon. No substance. Sometimes Laughable. Instead of this rant, you could just say hi to people. Do you ever just say hi to people? People ain't that bad. People are also a part of life, in a city - like London - that is constantly prone to change ... For the better. Move to the country. I'm guessing you'll have an easier time with the trees if a Barbour jacket freaks you out...

Keith Wildman 9:26 pm, 23-Aug-2010

How can you tell one part of London from the other? All looks the same to me. Flat. Loads of buildings. Bit grotty. Shit beer. No pork pies or proper fish and chips and you pay well over the odds for the privilege of it all. Not bad for a day trip though, and those underground trains are pretty nifty.

theonepoundtshirt 9:54 pm, 23-Aug-2010

wonderful fantastic amazing..........I've heard that bermondsley is the new dalston .........can I call you a cab!

Chantal Brown 10:44 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Well - where to start. Generally - people under 30 get to dress and pose wherever they like. They always will - and they always have. They will ignore you if you aren't something you they relate to. You will feel alienated if you can not relate to them. I'm fascinated by culture and all it's fruits. Dalston is diverse, cheap and there are many 'creatives' in the are. Which means, I feel I have a little community. I wear what I like, when I like it, I follow anything that suites my buxom figure.... I can get cheap food, cheap pubs, and cheap nights out around here. It seems that some forget, the reason the 'creative' move to such scummy areas, is only motivated by money, and the savings to be had. As most will tell you - being 'creative', as the artistic self employed generally don't tend to have a lot. I think half the people around here just buy into the life style of the 'truly creative' who push things along (questionable I know), and super impose themselves onto a budding scene - but without the talent. It's close enough to Angel, Cannonbury and Stokie, where you can leave the scummies behind. Perhaps a little more confidence in yourself and your belief that you should be able to go anywhere in London, and feel comfortable enough that you just fit in, reagardless if its a bunch of dreds, metlaers or trendies....... Worth thinking about that. Join in - only with the genuine good half. Get involved if you have something to contribute. Don't feel shunned and sad because you don't get the fuck involved. I mean, when's the last time you hung out with people like yourself???? I'm sure they can be perceived as just as shit on many levels. So perhaps, you don;t like people that like pushing things forward in art... Or perhaps you expected this culture to embrace you... And why? I don;t go to metal gigs with a fucking Care Bear t-shirt on... So whay the heck would you think you'd be able to relate with, or them you? 20something Shorditch spill overs.... It's the same.... Mmmmh? You don't relate, so you judge. Therefore, it's not for you. And who nominated you the god damn litmus test of Dalston anyway....? You're probably not that creative yourself, More of an observer and winger... Journalism. Nasty Journalism, which seems to be growing ever popular these days.... Is there a place in London where you come from that has wanky Journalism people around... ANd the likes of some true creatives get shunned because we don't all carry a blackberry or pass off made up words as 'media-jargon. Fuck you. Dalston kicks ass. From the heart. x

Balthasar Kane 11:55 pm, 23-Aug-2010

Tread triumphantly trendy troglodytes of tedium, a new wave will soon wash over you all, peeling back the amalgamated layers of interim fashions you have amassed; mix and match styles you use to alleviate your vain conditions. Breathe sighs of relief as you shed last week's skins and stoke the incinerator's flames with disdain and feigned irony. As you stampede along the glossy catwalk de la mode toward popular Mecca, you pass the brazen nondescript infidels that line the border lands like an audience of gate crashers. To you they appear pathetic and wretched, struggling to stitch their threadbare dignity together with plain rags, envious and forlorn as your pagentry procedes before them. In the face of all this pomp and circumstance their meagre egos shamefully retreat and they turn their backs on your uniform march of progress. But, therein lies the rub, victims of the fashionista's decree; you march at the behest of a degenerate logic, like so many rats lead out of Hamelin by a pipe playing harlequin, swathed in the new black and the outsiders are not ashamed, they are free. For all the talk of expressing your individualities you fail to recognise the real irony. How could you? Through your non-prescription glasses and the cacophony of your ipods on shuffle. You march into oblivion, that which you have always feared. Unknowns wandering into the unknown. Walking compost heaps moving away from posterity, forever dust. They lied when they said you would be famous. You've all shared your fifteen minutes and it took us even less time to forget. Your legacies are those who follow you along the eternal path of the unoriginal. We ignore you and the liturgy of fashion.

Keith Wildman 1:06 am, 24-Aug-2010

Is that last one a cut and paste from a spam email?

Matt 1:40 am, 24-Aug-2010

Er when did you last go to Dalston?!'s actually a pretty nice place to live compared to most of London and one of the most cosmopolitan areas without a doubt. Thank god for some originality in a city which seems to have a bloody Starbucks on every corner now ....but maybe that's your idea of a 'nice' place to live! Keep on hating u fool.

Jinx 8:20 am, 24-Aug-2010

spot on article. i've had an encounters with the skinny jeans bearering, check shirts draping, boat shoe wearing self indulgent schmucks. long story short, the disdain i have for them who claim to carry the title "creative" are nothing less than mediocre people who do not have the goods to actually be a real designer. in fact, i'm a firm believer that they dress the way they do to make up for their lack of talent and can only come up with a carbon copy of their fellow lemmings and fashion faux pas'. regardless, dalston has its' perks but then again - do these people really respect the locals and even step into the wet streets of ridley road market? dalston is great in small doses but when i encounter another self-indulgent fame seeking rude creative wannabe when i pop by dalston on occasion, i run like a bat out of hell and head back to my suburban cover. i am happy being the badly dressed award-winning designer than to ever want to be associated to the supposed "creatives" of dalston. seriously. when did people with real talent bother dressing up to compensate for their lack of talent? simplicity - enough said.

Jonnys 9:09 am, 24-Aug-2010

@ Balthasar Kane- you are hilarious! Did you just flunk your GCSE creative writing course?

dan 9:44 am, 24-Aug-2010

i love how all the responses are far wittier and way better written than the original article! (except this one)

Rich 10:20 am, 24-Aug-2010


Balthasar Kane 10:23 am, 24-Aug-2010

@ Jonnys - Thank you. That was the intention. Just a small point. In Britain one fails GCSEs. I do hope you're American.

Fla Jones 10:25 am, 24-Aug-2010

Dalston is a it of dump, but the kind of dump I like very much! If everyone there is either creating or just pretending they are, why not? Let people be happy!!! Who am I to judge, eh?

Balthasar Kane 10:41 am, 24-Aug-2010

@ Keith Wildman. Great response.

Alexander 11:17 am, 24-Aug-2010

I live in Dalston, you pricks

Felix Stanwood 11:53 am, 24-Aug-2010

The part that rings most true is the desperate thirst for the 'creative' tag. It's hilariously tragic. Generally spot-on re: the article (but yes, descends into hyperbole).

ollie lamb 12:14 pm, 24-Aug-2010

Charlie Brooker ain't retiring anytime soon. Whilst your bile is entertaining an relatively accurate I think you're treading a well trodden path.

Alexander 12:42 pm, 24-Aug-2010

Look, Charlie Brooker didn't invent hate, as good as he is. Bye!

flabia mingebracket 1:28 pm, 24-Aug-2010

as of now i start my new career as head of an on-line twitter based DJ collective. for a small subscription fee (and a coupla poiints from itunes) we will tweet you what songs to listen to in real time while at your favourite club whilst our team of iphone enabled flying monkeys harvest your souls with a specially developed app in exchange for a chance to get your picture in vice or on some cunting fashion blog full of vacuous pissfunnels all wearing timmy mallet glasses and the same "are we having fun yet" look of desperation. if you'd like to sign up or join our street team please smash your own face repeatedly into a wall until you realise what a massive disappointment you are to your parents and that every breath you take - if not an exercise in abject futility - at best serves as a reminder to the most wretched of mankind; the paedophiles, prostitutes, destitute and addicted - that there is always someone worse off than yourself

bob 5:19 pm, 24-Aug-2010


Ernst Bumptwhistle 5:36 pm, 24-Aug-2010

Why do folks always pick on what other folks is wearing? Does it really matter that much to you how someone else dresses? Dalston has many more layers than the one Alexander seems to think is dominating. They only come out at night Alex darling, something you don't realise probably because you're not in Dalston during the day.

Gracie Lain 9:23 pm, 24-Aug-2010

I love you, Alexander Netherton.

Tim Tim 9:27 pm, 24-Aug-2010

"They’ll fucking inspect you before moving out of your way, if they move at all." Why should they move out of your way? Who are you?

Jonnys 6:40 am, 25-Aug-2010

@Balthasar Kane- oh yes,oh sure! you WERE trying to be funny.

Steve Pills 9:30 am, 25-Aug-2010

I saw Alexander Netherton in a K-hole round the back of the Rio Cinema on Saturday night. He had been sick all down his boating shoes.

The Other Ewing Girl 11:13 am, 25-Aug-2010

what a bunch of c**ts (and i'm not talking Dalston residents).

tim 12:05 pm, 25-Aug-2010

"They’ll fucking inspect you before moving out of your way, if they move at all." Yeah they shold move out of YOUR way shouldnt they, because YOUR the one thats cool and not them (everyone knows that writing angry and bitter blogs is the coolest thing anyone can do.) If you dont like the place why not simply not go there?

Balthasar Kane 12:17 pm, 25-Aug-2010

@Jonnys - Again I ask, are you American? It might help explain your admiration of Tom Wolfe and inability to detect what we Brits like to term "tongue in cheek." Another phrase we're fond of that seems appropriate here is "jog on." Remember, some people are smart enough to take the piss surreptitiously and without referencing others.

Nu 12:22 pm, 25-Aug-2010

What a shit article. Yes - hipsters dress as hipsters. So what? I meet and talk to these people - they're not superior, or sneering (poseurs, they may be). Alex - You have cornered the market in assumed superiority and a sneer. Alex - you're a far worse kind of twat than the people you're generalising about here. Crap article, done to death, too easy and completely risk free choice of target. Gutless.

Ria 12:34 pm, 25-Aug-2010

@Balthasar Kane - Funny stuff. @Jonnys - You're a twat. Do you take everthing at face value?

ben 1:39 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Do you actually know anyone like the kind of person you have described above? Or are you just making a gross generalisation on the residents of an area based on the clothes they wear and the fact that you don't recognise the music coming from their headphones? Because that would be quite small minded, wouldn't it?

Alexander 2:06 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Ben, Given that I've lived and worked in Hackney for years, live in Dalston Junction, and have cooked dinner for the owner of The Superstore, am friends with people he works with, and that my flatmate's brother is best friends with the owner of the Alibi and have met people who write for Vice at house parties, I reckon I can comment. YOU PRESUMPTUOUS COCK.

Nu 2:21 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Why cook dinner for someone you so hate?

Alexander 2:23 pm, 25-Aug-2010

I don't hate him - he's a great bloke. It's the cunts doing fuck all without originality or criticism I hate. I think that's made clear amongst the hyperbole

Nu 2:31 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Hmmm, I missed it. Sorry. But that's a fair point. So, it's the non-creative "creatives"? Not the hipsters? Or is it the hipster clones? Gotta say, I do agree on some points. Just don't like the way people get down on East London just cos wankers say it's now cool. Is a fine place, and most people are fine... I'm guessing you agree. Rants can be dangerous. (P.S. Good, I'm fond of him as well.)

Nu 2:34 pm, 25-Aug-2010

To clarify: Q:"Do you actually know anyone like the kind of person you have described above?" A:"Ben, Given that I've lived and worked in Hackney for years, live in Dalston Junction, and have cooked dinner for the owner of The Superstore, am friends with people he works with, and that my flatmate's brother is best friends with the owner of the Alibi and have met people who write for Vice at house parties, I reckon I can comment. YOU PRESUMPTUOUS COCK." Open to (mis)interpretation?

Alexander 2:36 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Nu, ha yes. It's just the morons I don't like. I didn't expect this to get to quite the stage it has, so the exaggeration is probably not much use for a wider audience.

Nu 2:37 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Heh... I know the feeling. Ride this one out.

Alexander 2:40 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Nu, fuck that. I'm trying to think of something to wind them up more.

Nu 2:44 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Oh. Dear. I'll leave now. Good luck! Have FUN!

NOAH 2:51 pm, 25-Aug-2010

I feel sorry for Alexander Netherton. If he can summon up this amount of invective to write such a downright horrible, negative and totally destructive piece he must be a very bitter and unhappy individual indeed. I wonder what his parents would think if they read this? I think they'd be quite disappointed.

The Human Centipede 3:38 pm, 25-Aug-2010

Hi I'm a surgeon who is looking to expand the realms of human possibility. Please visit my clinic on Sandringham road. Many thanks The Surgeon

jonnys 11:46 am, 26-Aug-2010

@ Ria- do I take everything at face value? Only your mum. As for you Balthasar- You're just a shit writer.

fritz the cat 11:50 am, 26-Aug-2010

there's nothing like a bit of flamebait to drive traffice to a website, eh? "These people believe that a justifiable status update on Facebook is to announce where they are at that given time. ‘I’m in the pub about to go to watch the xx!’ Call me a miserable bastard (I am)," Isn't that how EVERYONE uses facebook? You miserable bastard

Balthasar Kane 1:01 pm, 26-Aug-2010

@Jonnys - It was bound to happen at some point wasn't it. Insulting someone's mum, the province of the moron. I'm surprised you didn't spell it mom. Great writing on your part jonnys. Seeing as you've based your opinion on the quality of my writing on one piece of text removed from its original context I have no option but to capitulate before your wisdom and reasoning. All hail the critic who derives his opinions from others. Thanks to you I shall never write again. Not even my name on official documentation. @ Ria - Enjoy your Sunday.

Jonnys 3:39 pm, 26-Aug-2010

Errr, Balthasar, who is losing their sense of humour now? It was a joke about rias mum, and a pretty good one at that. As for the spurious notion that I take my opinion from others, are you basing that on the fact I told alexander that his writing might improve if he read some Tom Wolfe. You might benefit from some Nabokov, it would definitely improve your pitiful alliterative style.

Balthasar Kane 9:41 pm, 26-Aug-2010

@ Jonnys - I love you. x

reece 10:08 pm, 26-Aug-2010

This is strong. Keep it coming, champ.

Bongiben 1:31 am, 27-Aug-2010

Been living in dalston for years a healthy distance from the Market (yes that one that the trendies avoid like the plague) Seems like the squats I used to visit were the highlight to be had along with tyssen street parties Now everything a bloody place to show off your Dali moustache go about how great a place is when you've just missed the boat by five years and were some stupid costume dressed as a toilet roll Only good thing left is the Turkish restaurants and fruit stalls

Adey 12:07 pm, 27-Aug-2010

Well done - you notice that the hipsters moved up the road from Shoreditch. Its dicks like you that want to keep everywhere real - for real cockney ragamuffins. If you can't live amongst other people and are especially bitter about people having more than you then I suggest you move to somewhere like Bolton. I could right the same article about the scum that drops litter everywhere, thinks that education is for them posh people and is go 'andy they help themselves to whatever they want. Of course I don't because I'm not a twat or bitter about my failure in life.

Bert Quock 3:10 pm, 27-Aug-2010

The overground line goes through all of London's shit holes, I can't see Dalston being any different :D

Keith Wildman 4:21 pm, 28-Aug-2010

Adey. Kind of proved Alexander's point there with the snotty remark about 'somewhere like Bolton'.

Adey 9:43 pm, 28-Aug-2010

I lived in Bolton for a couple of months - everybody hated anything different from their own poverty and lack of opportunity. Art was for ponces. Anybody that had emotions was gay and you were expected to dress like a scally or some dick in a shirt and shoes. If 'Alexander' doesn't like it that people bring art, music, money and all the other shit that comes with the hipster scene then he should GTFO of London. Maybe if he spent a bit more time getting to know those people he hates so much he'd realise that its all just a laugh - and part of what makes people happy. As for looking down on people - only the scum who have no respect for where they live or any interest in making a better lives for themselves. I've lived in hackney for 10 years and the people bringing regeneration and art to the area don't deserve the hatred that Alexander put on them. The snobbery of hating people because they have more than you or look/talk differently is the worse kind. Imagine saying the stuff he has about black people?

Adey 9:59 pm, 28-Aug-2010

> "They’ll not lower their entitled public school voice when I’m just trying to have a nice quiet pint of Life Invigorator." Yer, like every salt-of-the-earth cockney rub-a-dub-dub local is quiet in The London Fields while I'm have a drink. And their endless footie retardation is always in whispers.

Keith Wildman 10:36 am, 29-Aug-2010

Keep digging Adey. :) Like all the greats, you're obviously a very sensitive artistic soul, that the good people of Bolton just didn't understand. Try to turn a positive into a negative and use this rejection to spur you on in your artistic endeavours. Then, just maybe, you can confront your demons and pluck up the courage to revisit Bolton and throw your success back in the face of those nasty northern bullies.

DalEbOy 1:27 am, 30-Aug-2010

I have been in the area 15 years,and have been a what you would call a"creative type" For all it's faults and all the pretentious shit thats been mentioned.....I would not live anywhere else in London! It's always had something,even when it was a grotty frontline(John Lydon,Jah Wobble and Sid Vicious would'nt go to a blues party anywhere else than Dalston in the seventies!!) I love you all........even the bummers and tuppence lickers!!!..goodnight.

High Seas Drifter 7:49 pm, 1-Sep-2010

Terrorists are gaaaay...terrorists are gaaaay. It's obviouuus!!!

Ollie 8:23 pm, 1-Sep-2010

This reads very much like 'Rise of the Idiots' by Dan Ashcroft (a.k.a. Julian Barrett in Nathan Barley a.k.a. Charlie Brooker). "The idiots are self regarding consumer slaves, oblivious to the paradox of their uniform individuality."

Randolph Scott 11:47 am, 3-Sep-2010

The writing was alright. Dalston Superstore is mainly a gay place - melodramatic vanity, over stylized fashion and older folk still partying hard isn't exactly rare in that community. And - at many times of the day, Dalston is one of the most diverse and working class areas in the city, and there are only a handful of places which seem 'hipstery'. There is absolutely no way they can be considered in the majority there. If we want to talk about a cultural invasion, we could equally point to the mass proliferation of blogger/content creator wannabe magazine journalist types clogging up my fucking internet. Seriously, there are MILLIONS of these 'I hate hipsters' articles. Writing down facsimile accounts what people are actually wearing and saying is not hard hitting satire. Plz try harderer.

no no no 1:28 pm, 4-Sep-2010

who hurt this little queen? was it society or nature? or both? and who said anything about art and culture? i just want a nicely wrapped cock.

The Axe 7:06 pm, 6-Sep-2010

The soundtrack to your article

Toby Bentley 2:38 pm, 10-Sep-2010

I love Dalston, leave it alone!

Humbert Humbert 3:13 pm, 10-Sep-2010

Yeah, they're the racist ones, never mind that this article about Dalston only refers to some of the white people that live there and completely ignores anyone else from Dalston. Typical Notting Hill attitude: ignore the ethnic folk and they won't trouble you. Besides, anyone who's anyone now lives in Mildmay. Dalston's so 2009.

Humbert Humbert 3:32 pm, 10-Sep-2010

I also enjoy the hypocrisy of someone who has two fake Twitter personalities having a pop at trendies.

Roland Archdall 1:35 pm, 13-Sep-2010

I wish I live in Dalston! I have to live in boring Fulham where there's nothing to do except go down on my flatmate.

Squire Radcliffe 2:28 pm, 13-Sep-2010

I personally hope Roland never leaves Fulham.

Imogen Dunn 6:40 pm, 13-Sep-2010

Jack 10:41 pm, 13-Sep-2010

Dalston's not too bad; preening kids will be preening kids wherever they are. I just hope they move away from Sperrys and Barbour Beafort/Bedales and don't take the new East London line south of the river except to go to Goldsmiths.

Dr Sierra 12:43 am, 14-Sep-2010

I´m living in Dalston. I'm enjoying it every day. There is soo much shit here... like it was once so much shit around Shakespeare ...

Phil 11:41 am, 14-Sep-2010

Can't we all just congratulate Alexander on provoking such diatribes? Think in a journalistic sense that counts as a success...i didnt read the article but skipped to the comments, i now don't want to spoil the comments by reading the article...

Sam Scribbler 6:14 pm, 14-Sep-2010

I thought I may go to Dalston when I die. Dirty herrings, rollmops, Polish sausage, bagels, pie and mash and jellied eels and salted cod - Ridley Road market is my heaven.

LIDO 10:46 pm, 17-Sep-2010

Dè marcello sei te? boia de un t'avevo riconosciuto! senti un pò, ma chi sono stì cretini qui che ci danno dentro ai budello di loro mà?! maremma troia che palle dè. icche è il festival degli sfigati per davvero? maremma buddella guarda te se uno viene a fà una vacanza a londra e si ritrova stì sfigati rompicoglioni che stanno a pigolà manco un trombassero da 20 anni. boia dè per davvero. beh rigà, ci si vede in piazzetta! bonaaa!

kenneth mackenzie 2:49 pm, 19-Sep-2010

mediocre times,mediocre city,mediocre people..trendy Dalston? mediocre and laughably calling itself a 'scene'....

Bobella 1:33 am, 27-Sep-2010

Who even gives a fuck? Social crusading journalists (ah-hem) like you, Alex, are more irritating than your inspiration for this terrible article. It's just more banal and narcissistic mumblings. And where the fuck has this racist label come from?! Please, validate your argument, I'm intrigued.

Jinx 11:45 am, 27-Sep-2010

I'm intrigued. The article has tweaked a lot of nerves; perhaps it's like the saying - the guilty person shouts the loudest?

bobberty bear 12:48 pm, 30-Sep-2010

this all strikes me as comments made by someone who's lost control of, or been dealt an unfavourable hand, by the society/scene/area they once loved and/or aspired to be a part of, and so out of spite, has turned on them, in an aim to sabotage and disorientate those either too blissfully ignorant to see your new perspective, or more fortunate than yourself. Stop being a little bitch and jog on.

nick 1:10 pm, 6-Oct-2010

Im born and raised in Hanckney just round the corner from Dalston. The gentrification has been good for the area the bar pubs clubs cafes and restaurants are great. The people they attract are not so great but to label anywhere in Hackney racist is a step to far. and it was a that very moment i lost any kind of fucking respect for who ever wrote this shit! we fucking pride our selves on multiculturalism.

Lottie 3:18 pm, 15-Oct-2010

But I like dalston! It's not a shit hole. You're only noticing the weekend/nightlife aspect of it. Hackney is a great place to live. It's full of real's much better than areas like islington where people compete to show how rich they are. I've been attacked several times in islington and other "posher" parts of london, but never had any trouble in hackney...well maybe once or twice, but nothing serious. I like that there are families, and normal people who work shitty jobs and have children. And there's loads of turkish food, and different cultures, and hear 101 languages being spoken every time you leave your house. So there are a few hipsters, who cares? Hackney and dalston are great places to live! I grew up on the isle of wight. That was a shithole. No economy, no work, all upper middle class and white. It makes you feel shitty if you're one of the few poor kids. But no one gives a fuck in hackney if you're poor. I like that you can buy tobacco and milk after 11, and that there's always someone awake in case you're being stalked/are lonely. It's nice that you get to know the people who run the local shop. Cheer up, it's not that bad. At least you don't live in fucking chelsea. Now that would be shit.

arnie 9:21 am, 20-Oct-2010

This article reeks of bitterness and jealousy. i grew up on one side of Ladbroke Grove, then the other (Holland Park). I went to school in Paris and southern Spain. moved to NYC in 80's. LA in the 90's. Now I reside in Hoxton. All these places are as good or bad as each other. Just different people all looking for the same thing. To single one place out is crazy. If you're going to do that, go to Holland Park! Thanx for making me laugh this morning though.

Sam 10:17 pm, 22-Oct-2010

Hipster responses to this article have been hilarious. Utter utter self-regarding cunts. And how many layers do we want to use? I hate people who hate people who hate hipsters. Go do something creative instead. Like some coke? Or buy some shoes?

Billybobjobhead 4:11 am, 23-Oct-2010

Oh dear sam ...."i hate people who hate people who hate hipsters' ....wot?! .....jesus how many layers is that! Yeah coke or shoes that should do it .....have a look at yourself u dick!

Dole-scum Junction. 1:28 am, 27-Oct-2010

I think hipsters should be left alone. All they are doing is trying to express their creative prowess by dressing fashionably and individually. I think that wearing rolled up tight jeans, checked shirts, buddy holly glasses and sailor tats is cool. After all, they were in the Navy (weren't they?). They also dress very differently. Last week I saw one rake armed twink walking down kingsland rd wearing grey deck shoes, where-as his fop haired idiot compadre was wearing charcoal boat shoes. I live in Hoxton so I know, Im on the fornt-line. I literally just sat next to one in brick lane and heard him talking about philosophy. These people are obviously very intellectual too. So leave them alone haters, just because you dont know how to dress the same as everybody else and still think your special. Fucking shoreditch twats.

Lottie 8:56 am, 27-Oct-2010

I wish people would fucking leave philosophy alone. It's about more than just trying to look fucking intellectual for god's sake. Let me guess, you heard some jumped up twat talking some veil of perception bullshit, suddenly assuming that because he's had one inspired thought in his entire existence he now has the philosophical know-how to even get close to Hegel.Presumably because the fucker had read some intro to existentialism, they brandish themselves as expert (still of course assuming it's a philosophy of despair. Yeah right).And you assume that philosophy has no merit. Hence why most funding to subjects is being cut, and all researchers are moving to america. Great. A whole nation, devoid of humanities scholars, because people like you perceive he subjects as useless and pretentious.If people actually took the time to READ and STUDY philosophy, they'd realise it's incredibly difficult and should not be taken lightly. Some of us dedicate our lives to becoming academics and don't get paid, and get treated like shit by senior management at london metropolitan fucking university even though we're effectively working for free at defending their educational freedom god I hate senior management. LEAVE PHILOSOPHY ALONE IT'S THE ONLY THING I'M GOOD AT BECAUSE I'M BORDERLINE AUTISTIC.

Iain 9:56 am, 27-Oct-2010

Check-out @DalstonDickhead on Twitter

northeastlondoneriteypissup 6:42 pm, 27-Oct-2010

Yup good rant against gentrification/social cleansing. Total and utter cunts a large portion of hackney's middle-classes are, however even through all these fixie bikey skinny jeaned pricks you can find some pretty girls and more importantly, some decent people. I don't know how, but it's just what I've observed. In the end of the day, I've always liked hackney even before the whole gentrification thing when it was "like a 3rd world country" in the early 90's. I like all of london but that doesnt mean I am thereby forced to like all of the middle-class wankers that infest so much of it. Maybe if locals actually took up the so-called ideals of people like CLR James rather than let the council run the show, things would be a lot better. I don't intend on moving out, but the rest of the world appeals to me a lot more than the UK in any case.

L 4:31 pm, 28-Oct-2010

I've found the biggest wankers around here tend to be the girls. I was sat in some shitty underground bar the other day and one of the aforementioned twatty girls had the decency to sit on me. I suppose because I don;t bleach my hair and wear a shitty fur coat, I don't exist.

susie 5:05 pm, 28-Oct-2010

I went to East Dulwich last weekend! I only heard English being spoken over a 2 hour period in the high st! I suddenly realised that and the fact that everyone was white and middle class too! Lovely area, nice woods. It doesn't have a patch on Hackney. I love that I can hear Turkish, Polish, French, Spanish, Japanese, Patois and Vietnamese before lunch! And yes Lottie I love that I can get tobacco and milk after midnight - to which many West/South Londoners respond "what you don't have to drive to the shop?!" "No" I reply - "the one across the road stays open all the time - bloody brilliant isn't it!" and of course the best Turkish bread in the world! One big problem as I see it is the ridiculous amount of Betting Shops in the area! Dragging people into more poverty! and the Council are the ones suitably fucking up the area instead of making it better. But that's our problem as a society really - we got no backbone & we'd rather fight, bitch and moan amongst each other than actually give a crap and fight the council and government. We should take a leaf out of the Frenchie's book! Unfortunately peeps are more worried about the next fashion trend!

biff bifferson 12:04 pm, 30-Nov-2010

you want to start chucking a few right handers around if they wont shift out your way, you fanny

mh 11:53 am, 4-Dec-2010

calm down Meldrew, young people are meant to dress like knobs

Jimmy kryptonite 12:25 pm, 5-Dec-2010

Loving this whole debate. Funny, few short years back I would've been so much more on alexander's side. Since I've become more happy with who I am I'm far more accepting of Dalston hipsters, and many other types of trend merchants. Some of the replies are so well written and thought provoking and I have to say the more persuasive and eloquent posts have been from the pro-hipster side. I've come to realise that nothing's so black and white in real life, there are so many wheels within wheels, each hipster is probably at heart as different from the next as we all are from each other and if you look for common ground properly Alexander you'll easily find it.

Tom Okker 7:14 pm, 5-Dec-2010

I'd never heard of Dalston before, but it sounds like a rather enjoyable day out.

James Lewis 7:35 pm, 5-Dec-2010

Was out round there last night, don't mind it myself so much, quite like the atmosphere, don't really do the 'look' (I'm a kind of mid thirties ex raver mod) but my mate with me, who I consider a normal kind of bloke (electrician, football, likes a decent band) just couldn't get the beards/barbour/acrylics and geek glasses look, said it made him feel like he was at a geography teachers convention. I looked around and just had to laugh. They're alright. They do look a bit stupid though, mostly because they all look the same, even though they try so hard to be different. Take themselves a bit seriously as well.

Mark Owen 5:11 pm, 6-Dec-2010

Then when they grow up they all want to look like Kenneth Branagh and move to Stoke Newington...

Gavin of London 11:11 pm, 12-Dec-2010

already out of date. Kentish Town is the real deal. Dalston? F8ck me is was past its trend by date in 2002.

Leyton rocks 2:24 am, 13-Dec-2010

Alexander you sound hysterical in your later responses ... You live there and know lots of people there ... Shame you missed out these important facts in your blog rant. Who in the real world even knows what Italian vogue thinks let alone lends it any credence. Once you've written your stuff you should walk away ... Coming back for more bites of the cherry only weakens your rant

Pete Jones 4:20 pm, 13-Dec-2010

Twats are everywhere. Personally I prefer the twats in Dalston to the twats in Islington or Camden, as they seem far less likely to raise their voice or punch you in the face.

Dole-Scum Junction 4:51 pm, 13-Dec-2010

I'm not surprised people are trying to punch you, the way you condescend people on dragons den, you lanky millionaire twat.

Grimviewer 8:56 pm, 15-Dec-2010

If Hipster Fauxhemianism was a purely fashion thing then it would be OK.Everyone has a right to wear what they like.What I despise is the elitist attitude and general lack of manners to others who aren't cut from similar cloth.Condescension is their default mode when interacting with other people who do not display the same infantile sartorial taste and nursery school creative lifestyle.As such they appear to foster a social exclusivity which would not look out of place in the school playground. In the early 1990's London was a fantastically wonderful place to be.The rave scene was taking off and everybody was loved up on E.It was a really inclusive period for youth from all social classes to mix and get out of it...ok it was chemically enhanced ....but it worked,people had a good time and connected.Where has the love and respect gone?

Leyton Rocks 1:01 am, 16-Dec-2010

If you weren't going to raves in the early nineties then London seemed pretty exclusive in the enclaves where the hipsters tread ... same as it ever was and Dalston is no real difference.

eliminatorjr 12:20 pm, 5-Jan-2011

Fucking hell netherton, you get everywhere. Hopefully you can make this a feature, pick different parts of London, or Britain, or the world and list the reasons why everyone there is a cunt. See you in the old red some time.

Chris 6:06 pm, 12-Jan-2011

I live in Dalston. I am none of these things. The rent is dirt cheap. So fuck you.

Claude 12:18 pm, 13-Jan-2011

hating people because of the way they dress is boring, you are worse than the "racist and misogynistic" people of dalston. moron.

Sigmundio 12:38 pm, 13-Jan-2011

Have lived in Dalston for about 3 years and love it. So what if a few public school idiots descend on the place on Friday and Saturday nights? It just adds the general vibrancy. And there's far more to Dalston than the Dalston Superstore, anyway.

Harry 1:10 pm, 13-Jan-2011

10 years ago people in Dalston were still being stabbed in the neck for a nokia 3310. Now the area has been developed and that's no longer a problem. Payment for this has been adopting some of the trendies you describe. Get your priorities right mate.

terry 3:22 pm, 13-Jan-2011

anyone not agreeing with this atricle is no doubt the type of prick talked about.

Garvey 4:01 pm, 13-Jan-2011

Maybe you have a point Terry but the other side of the argument is that the people writing these articles and getting excited about firebombing london fields are the people not involved. They're the people skulking about at home, angry that they're not involved. Because they're not involved, their only outlet are these internet rants. I'll agree that its really sad to see east london become gentrified, but the internet rant isn't much better. You're giving off angry stalker vibes.

Monot 5:29 pm, 13-Jan-2011

I saw one of these hipster dicks in a cafe in Stoke Newington, wearing check pattern dungarees with check pattern loafers. The checks didn't even match. Hanging's too good for them.

Dan 6:20 pm, 13-Jan-2011

Fairly amusing article, but ridiculing Dalston/Hackney and it's inhabitants has been done to death Something original please.

OM 6:59 pm, 16-Jan-2011

Damn What's wrong with you mate? Loosen up a little yeah... You English can be so intolerant!! Let those (old) kids just do what they wanna do... I have no problems considering myself as one of them... well at least not the way you describe them. Me myself I do create stuff. I DO have a clothing brand and design for others, I AM a graphic designer and a graffiti artist and my blog DOES get readers... and YES I love Dalston (not so much Dalstonn Superstore). You better come and have a good time with other know-it-alls and goodfornuthins like myself at The Alibi (although your next sickening article will probably be on this joint). Don't get me wrong, I won't hate on anybody except on frustrated narrow minds.

Tom Okker 8:21 pm, 16-Jan-2011

Is Dalston still a shithole?

Blockup 12:15 pm, 23-Jan-2011

Barbour's fucking stink!

roky erickson 7:26 am, 29-Jan-2011

This article is perfect. It summarize all the situation of east london in the past 10 years... The rent ARE NOT cheap at all! and the white middle class kids are pushing away all the asian community. And most of all dalston is full of UNTALENTED people. there's any good band who came out from there. No filmakers. Nothing. For every fucking new trendy bar open there's a cornershop closed. That means that the old lady who lived in dalston all her life have to walk 4-500 yard to get her milk and her packet of fags... Last question: 'why everyone try to speak cockney if they're NOT born and educated in east london?

Caron 3:13 pm, 17-Feb-2011

This article writer (Alexander Netherton) claims to not be racist but is quiet happy to make blanket statements about certain people.(Dalston people) Blanket statements are is what Racism is all about so is discrimination. you must be so insecure (or even jealous) that I know people, do something and dress in a certain way that you wrote this article. but sorry mate this article will not gain you the friends you are after... (or actually maybe you could be friends with old roky above, if your not all ready or more likely it is your alter ego.

Barry the Octopus 9:37 pm, 17-Feb-2011

Please make big nose spoon arrangement for spluttering gumboots. Thank you.

Nanoubix 11:52 pm, 17-Feb-2011

What about London being a shit hole? When you go to Berlin, this is what people say...

Tom 2:51 pm, 18-Feb-2011

It is a bit of a dump, I agree. I have been to a nice bar there, which I think may have been the Superstore, and I didn't really notice anyone cunty. The stereotypical dickheads you get in East London proper started out in Notting Hill several years back and migrated to Carnaby St, and seemed to have crash landed in the East. They don't really bother me now, whether it's the skinny jeans, the shit haircuts or the worst trend disease ever, the fixed geared bicycle. Why? Because they are the cunts. I live and have always lived South, where there is more room to breathe, less of these twats to get in my face, and less pressure to be part of something that is ultimately something shit, which is highly illogical, Captain.

Fill 2:53 pm, 18-Feb-2011

@Caron - your spelling and grammar is awful, it's no good slagging the author off when you seem either lazy or ill-educated, or both.

Caron 3:51 pm, 18-Feb-2011

@fill Dyslexia is not lazy or ill-educated. Thanks for your concern.

The Duckchild 4:58 pm, 1-Mar-2011

Dalston seems the same as it ever was. Why were you reading Italian Vogue?

richard boon 5:23 pm, 1-Mar-2011

so late, so lame. darlings, we're so over dalston - dissed this speciousness two years ago in hackney parish 'zine ( for pertinent, impertinent text)

Hobo 5:26 pm, 1-Mar-2011

does any of this really matter? why get so worked up about something as trivial as this when people are being shot in tripoli and crushed in christchurch. Please get some perspective people.

Rob K 5:53 pm, 1-Mar-2011

blah, blah, blah, hipster, blah, blah, don't like fun, blah, blah, snorrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Shoreditch Alan 9:19 pm, 1-Mar-2011

Ooh Poopsie get a gwip, we was slaggin' off Dalst before we even moved in, that's so old. My matey boy Pumpo shot his load ages ago and upped sticks to Moorgate, it's where it's been proper at for two years now, what's left in Dalston now is the Toby-cum-latelys and the a load of George Ropers, I hear the next space camp is South Ken, my dudelet Tibby was spotted swaning about in pink plus fours house hunting last Friday

Tommy Udo 9:21 pm, 1-Mar-2011

Ah c'mon. I'm 50. I remember reading what was essentially this very same article in the early 80s, except then it was whining about how trendy cunts with quiffs had taken over Soho. Even the haircuts they moaned about then are the same as now. Posh boho wannabes are the least of our problems.

HermoineXXJadaPinkettIIIISpecialGlasses 12:27 pm, 2-Mar-2011

Go and live in Clapham then. No one's forcing you to experience only one kind of wanker. Why deny yourself that? You're obviously a glutton for punishment

Everyone in Dalston is Weird 2:28 pm, 9-Mar-2011 Jus' sayin'.

Microraptor 1:16 pm, 13-Apr-2011

These hipsters are annoying cunts to be sure.... but really, are such imported twits really worse than "authentic" local youth like Leon Dunkley and Mohammad Smoured from London Fields, who thought randomly shooting up the local Chicken Cottage with a sub-machine gun might be an appropriate response to one of their sorry gang mates getting a kicking a few nights earlier from some equally retarded no marks form Hoxton? They killed a completely innocent bystander before pedalling off on their mountain bikes...

pssyche 6:36 pm, 30-Apr-2011

I lived south north east and east. kentish town. period.

Benny 2:49 pm, 5-May-2011

Spot on! This video sums these cunts up

Ida 8:53 pm, 6-May-2011

A bit of truth in the entry above, although the overall style reminds me of a neo-hipster puke written by some miserable over 20 -something, not very good at pulling girls. Bleurgh.

Kane 1:26 pm, 10-May-2011

Arguing about which part of a piece of shit is the most shitty is an exercise in futility.

Angela 11:30 pm, 23-Jun-2011

It's amazing how upset everyone's getting! Every part of London has its own version of pretentious you-know-whats. I've moved from Kensal Rise - home to Chamberlayne Road, which by the way, Vogue said was the coolest road in London. That area is also full of people with a kitsch swagger. Walk a mile down the road to Queens Park and you get another social group stomping down the street with designer buggies and's life. There'll always be people who put huge amounts of effort into their image, people who know their own style and work less hard, people who don't care then those who want to write about all of the above. Relax!! Oh, maybe being relaxed isn't as much fun as ranting?

Jake Hanrahan 12:33 am, 29-Jun-2011

Great read, great writer, tragic though because it's very true.

Seamus 9:03 pm, 23-Jul-2011

Dalston trendies you'll love this

Rudolph 11:18 pm, 30-Jul-2011

I love coming back to read this article, sweet sweet invective

kate 6:54 pm, 19-Sep-2011

I love a bit of artfully arranged invective. A good read. Ta

Vincenzo 8:52 am, 20-Sep-2011

Selina - should you wear a high heel if you only have one leg? Hard to argue with the article, though I would add that the place is still as rough as fuck. Whenever I have to misfortune to visit I witness some random act of violence.

Bob 12:46 pm, 20-Sep-2011

The best thing about Global Warming/Climate Change, sea levels rise and London floods. It's almost worth filling up the car and leaving the engine running just to speed it along a little.

Spartacus 1:54 pm, 20-Sep-2011

Never heard of Dalston,it's a part of London I gather,isn't the whole of London like this :)

Kate 11:26 pm, 20-Sep-2011

Angry backlash commentors clearly belong on this website.

terry 8:24 am, 21-Sep-2011

Dalston Superstore is a fine gay club , maybe that offends certain people but to me its a great space full of friendly clued up musically people ... seems like a load of people who moved to london moaning about a load of people who also have moved to london .. lazy shit .

Sophie 8:57 am, 22-Sep-2011

What a sad idiot must have wrtitten this text. I pity you for your boring live, the dissability to enjoy it and the discusting envy you have for people that are more attractive than you. Asshole.

Miles 9:16 pm, 22-Sep-2011

What a load of boring bollocks - hipsters blah, blah, blah...brogues with no socks blah, blah, blah, read it all before, ages ago. But then where does it go? People over 25 drink in the Superstore because they're sad about getting 'old', not being a successful 'creative' and having earn a living doing something they don't enjoy? That turns a limp bit of writing into a quite odd bit of writing

thehipkat 2:58 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Nothing more than moronic rage from a fool too cool to appreciate the awesomeness of living in a town where the streets are paved with grime.

Sit on the fence 2:10 pm, 5-Oct-2011

in the same vein as Shoreditch is now uncool, are you getting your 'i hate Dalston' comment in early so you can say you hated it first?

kelvin tallywhacker 3:45 pm, 5-Oct-2011

lol this author sounds like he is so desperate to be one of these harmless trendies he probably cries every night into his 'vintage' collection of stuck-together bongo mags. i live in dalston and although yes it is funny to look at these pretentious pillocks mug themselves off daily in their identikit second-hand ill fitting uniforms they also make up for probably less than a quarter of the populace. try not so sound so scared/jealous next time little one

Ron Jon 11:15 pm, 5-Oct-2011

Get out of your mind and into being, peace - love - joy

Another Dan 12:49 pm, 12-Oct-2011

I can't believe this article is still being re-posted on Facebook (and elsewhere). It's a dreadful article, most of the comments here are testament to that. Just some guy's pathetic out of date ramblings. Sabotage, you are making yourself look bad posting this tripe. The author looks even worse though, especially when he takes the time to argue with people posting their comments. All in all rather shocking, and quite sad. Time for a new chief editor?

WendyJinDalston 1:18 pm, 12-Oct-2011

Oh, i am sick of all these people who don't live in Dalston, but have all these opinions about it. they creep out of their neighbourhoods and like vampires only show their arrogant faces at night. Go away and leave me alone. And don't pee on my door and why don't you smile a bit more and wear comfortable clothes so your expression is more friendly and less i have a thong up my arse.

sir john dalston 2:39 pm, 12-Oct-2011

the orginal dalston is not in london, its in the north. still full of cunts mind,_Cumbria

Andy 3:29 pm, 12-Oct-2011

Alex, Alex, Alex. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You still churning out bitter and twisted vitriol. Why can't you write something with a smile on your face. If you really don't like the 'gentrification' of the shit holes of London go and help the homeless in another city or stop whining and get on with your job. All the best.

Kalaa 4:09 pm, 12-Oct-2011

If anyone has already posted this I apologise but a lot of messages and I should be getting some work done. On hearing all about the new program this song sprang to mind..... Enjoy!!!!

Jack Barron 5:57 pm, 12-Oct-2011

I enjoyed the article, Alex, it made me laugh. I lived in Dalston in the early Nineties, next to London Fields. An ex-girlfriend still lives in the gaff. When I go and visit her I am amazed at the restaurants, cafes, bars and venues that have sprung up. It's a shame the clothes and hairstyles of the wannabes in the area are so minging. As for the music scene - All those bloody festivals that are being put on, they should turn down the volume because the majority of the acts are shit-with-maggots.

Kai Cooper 10:15 pm, 12-Oct-2011

what about the people that have lived in dalston their whole life? are you saying they have this life? i find this offensive to everyone that lives in dalston. go back to dalston 16 years ago and its a completely different story. a lot of the people that work in dalston as fashion designers, artists and what not have probably lived in dalston for a year or so, or dont even live in dalston at all. stop letting these people give dalston such a bad name, as its one of the most diverse a cultural places in london, and no im not some hipster kid...

Daisy 10:58 am, 13-Oct-2011

Moaning about the place you live in is kind of like someone who doesn't like mushrooms going into a restaurant, choosing the mushroom soup and then complaining about how much they hate mushrooms. No one's making you stay there, so if you hate Dalston so much, move out. Also, slagging off people for the way they dress and then calling them "racist" and "misogynistic" with no back-up whatsoever is pretty stupid. After reading this thing, rather than coming away with an enlightened opinion on Dalston, I came away feeling quite sorry for the author, thinking "Christ, this guy needs to wank more".

Andy 4:22 pm, 13-Oct-2011

@Daisy. Spot on. Have read anything else by Alex? You should, it will confirm your thoughts that he needs to wank more and write less. I must say i do like his style it's the content that bothers me.

Sam 6:15 pm, 13-Oct-2011

This guy got it spot on. ive lived in the hackney downs which is 10 mins away since i was a kid for the past 16 years . dalstons is not a cool place but a place that could do with more investment; thats the reality, and is home to lots of people, working class people not rich trendy people nevertheless there is a strong sense of community and when i go down ridley road market to get some fruit or maybe some cow feet(its suprisingly nice!) you can feel it. Now i havn't got issue with what they wear but its the arrogance and the hole 'total dick' personality of theres despite the fact they just moved in recently. They make there shops and argue and complain other people who have resided there for ages and continualy seek to isolate them. Shows like 'the only way is dalston' will only paint a false image of a community that is in dire need of help, as we saw from the riots two months ago, and further isolate the actual real community behind dalston not these pretentious bastards.

Ben 7:44 pm, 13-Oct-2011

He has got a point - people who live in Dalston love it because it's trendy and 'fits' with the artist society. The only reason the streets are full of graphiti and there are hundreds of warehouses brreding the Dlaston'ites species is because back in the 1970's it was the cheapest place to live for broke artists (who actually painted and took on postmodernism first hand) and needed somewhere where they did not have to pay rent. About 5 years ago, Dalston was not a cool place to live. The trend of Shoreditch has now crossed over and for the privilidge of living between Turkish Kebab Shops and chicken Cottages is around £500 a month. Yes you got the eas london line now and your a stone throws away from your Superstore, but there is a world outside of Dalston. I like going out in east, i adore it because there are always good night and there are nice little drinking holes. But there is so much mroe in London - try venturing out your hole to investigate. You might like it. Half the people in Dalston are more stiff than those in Chelsea so the comment about being a Berkshire Hunt is unfair. Everyone i have met in Dalston is am abosolute ass hole. Not once have people been arsed to speak to people they dont know, huddled up in their little convoys of skinny jeans and cardigans. Its a shit hole. Your quite right.

Felix Stanwood 10:00 pm, 13-Oct-2011

@Daisy, Do you perchance read the Daily Mail? "If you love Iran/Saudi Arabia/Pakistan so much, WHY DON'T YOU JUST LIVE THERE" has been handily transformed into "If you don't like Dalston, JUST LEAVE" by your good self. Obviously if anyone has a negative opinion about somewhere, they should immediately leave and never air their grievances however legitimate.

Matt 9:42 am, 14-Oct-2011

Heh. Daisy's a hipster. All her friends live in Dalston.

Daisy 9:57 am, 14-Oct-2011

@Felix Stanwood Nice use of the word "perchance" there. Gold star. "I've always had a hate-hate relationship with Dalston" and "I have live(sic) in Hackney for a few years" implies to me that the author has moved to a place he knows he hates. Get it? You saying that I'm getting all "Daily Mail" on your ass (brilliantly lazy diss, by the way - another gold star) is totally missing the point and displaying an almost offensive amount of ignorance on your part. Perhaps you should read the original article again. You know what I do when I'm all filled up with rage? I cook myself a nice meal. Don't hate, marinate. Try it out.

Ben 2:54 pm, 14-Oct-2011

To those who insists Dalston is in anyway an inexpensive place to live I beg to differ. I've been in London 5 years and in my current property for the last 4. Just yesterday I got a letter from my landlord informing me that at the end of my current tenancy agreement, my rent will be increasing £800. This is a two-bedroom place with a garden. I feel that the rent was probably not in line with the market, but the agent is really trying to push rental prices in the area up as much as possible (Loft Lets), if you are unhappy with hipsters populating the area, I can't wait to see everyone's reactions when the bankers move in... PS - Everyone in my local community is a 100% justifiable creative with income earned directly from their work

Felix Stanwood 3:04 pm, 14-Oct-2011

@Daisy An insincere pacifist preaching peace and love while simultaneously adopting a patronising, passive-aggressive Daily Mail-esque attitude! What a conundrum you are. How very East London. Gold star right back at you :o)

Daisy 4:02 pm, 14-Oct-2011

@Felix Stanwood You're resulting to personal attacks rather than trying to defend your "argument", which means you've really got nothing to back yourself up with Also, "How very East London of you"…ouch! If you change the words "East London" to "West Indian" or "German", it's pretty obvious that your post has slightly nasty connotations. Generalising…kind of like a Daily Mail reader might do. A bigot who hates the Daily Mail. You're in denial! Oh, and I live in Brockley and have done for a while.

LeytonRocks 12:08 pm, 15-Oct-2011

Some of my best friends live in Dalston. They're not hipsters. They go out locally to pubs and the like. It's not a painful experience when I join them. I've met some other people in Dalston who were quite nice too. It's a much better night out than say Leyton ... now if the hipsters could just see themselves moving my way, push the property prices up, make the bars more interesting (more like resurrect them) then that would be gentrification and I'll pen the Sabotage Times article slagging off the changing of a part of London that's always changing ... I'm off to marinate some chicken and keeping a lid on my rage

LeytonRocks 12:09 pm, 15-Oct-2011

Or as Albert Spaggiari would say: sans haine, sans violence et sans arme." ;)

Felix Stanwood 2:12 pm, 15-Oct-2011

@Daisy I have no argument beyond pointing out the hypocritical nature of your posts, something to which you're apparently impervious. What happened to "don't hate, marinate"? Your seething anger drips with condescension from every word. Take your own advice, dear!

Lichen 8:34 am, 16-Oct-2011

The only thing more odious than a hipster imitating a creative is a talentless bore spectating and judging the hipster who imitates a creative. What's it like being two steps removed from having a life?

ipau 8:08 am, 20-Oct-2011

The sad thing is that the 'hipster' copy-cat look is being exported all over the world. Fuck, if these people are meant to be creative, why can they not create their own style? I see wannabes here in LA, and it's just a sight for sore eyes.

Ron Jon 9:53 am, 20-Oct-2011

Let's live from our hearts and appreciate one another regardless of coolness, gender, culture, social status etc , we are all human beings, the video on this link helped me realise this.

Sam Woods 11:08 am, 25-Oct-2011

How can Dalston be a "culture abscess" when its home to such a diverse ethnic mix? The author is referring to a minority and is clearly an moron.

kate 11:37 am, 25-Oct-2011

Ah, don't let this stuff get to you, why not live and let live. Oh yeah, there'd be nothing to rant and rail against then. As you were then, back to the exhausting invective

Passing Clouds 3:36 pm, 26-Oct-2011

Alex, we want to have your love-babies. Passing Clouds.

ils 12:03 pm, 31-Oct-2011

"The Sunday Times Style section won’t be slavering over them any time soon." So...anyone read the article in this week's Sunday Times Style section?

Sara 6:57 pm, 31-Oct-2011

“Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated” I think Alexander ought to address this chip on his shoulder... Or at least stay away from Dalston. We don't want people like him around here anyway!

Graham 7:17 pm, 31-Oct-2011

Tim Tim: "They’ll fucking inspect you before moving out of your way, if they move at all." Why should they move out of your way? Who are you? - This has had me laughing for hours mate!!

Leyton Rocks 11:11 pm, 31-Oct-2011

I have friends not geographical locations where I hang out ... some live in Dalston, some do not ...

Harry Morgan 2:16 pm, 6-Nov-2011

What is wrong with you? Would you rather more muggers with knives than people just choosing to live different from white van men who shout "get your tits out." at your wife or some mindless shit? You should thank them and view them as the saviours of Hackney!

JackBNimble 8:37 am, 18-Nov-2011

I lived in and around Hackney many years ago when it was partly a cheap place to rent and partly an aspirant annex to Islington. I used to enjoy the clubs, Phebes,4 Aces, All Nations and the pubs. The waste market was a great resource at the time.But it was generally a dump. Recent visits give me the impression that there is a new generation there that don't realize that despite being on the gentrification trail for forty years it's still a shithole.

Realist 12:15 am, 21-Nov-2011

Dalston is a shithole. Dalston is dangerous. Dalston food is shit. Dalston rents are beyond over inflated. Dalston is a parody of itself. In regards to the article, it could not be more spot on about the people. Failed creative trend consuming zombies for the most part. Alexander, you forgot tiny red & navy beanies that are rolled up above the ear. LOooo0oOo0ooOoL.

You'd never guess 10:22 pm, 23-Dec-2011

I recently moved to Dalston after 15 years in Islington during which time I breached the border of Kingsland road less than a dozen times. Islingtonites would be amazed at how much you can buy for a £1,000,000 in Dalston. Conversely how little it buys in N1. The Dalston Sainsburys never fails to raise a smile. Fur coats and Harrods bags and the obligatory bearded 20/30 somethings... But it seems real. Interesting things going on that are thanks to the low rents FARM:shop for example. Dalston feels like a village and this is good. For the mockers and the bemoaners of creeping rents... wake up and smell. It's 400m from Islington, the roads are wide, the buildings are grand and the developments attracting the young professionals are huge. Dalston = North Shoreditch or East Canonbury? Either way, it's cursed with its location 2miles north of Bishopsgate and the wonderful overland. I suggest that you catch Dalston now, because the Islington and Shoreditch overspill will be here soon.

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Jimbo 12:36 pm, 5-Feb-2012

Never mind Dalston, check out the only way is Bermondsey Street:

dan robinski 12:01 pm, 25-Sep-2012

So much hate. People who get angry at hipsters are as bad as the hipsters they get angry at. It doesn't matter what other people are wearing/ doing saying/ listening to or where they're living. It doesn't matter if they dress like everyone else or don't. Just relax. It's only clothes and music.

Gibbo 2:29 pm, 13-Oct-2012

Good article. Good arguments. Made me chuckle I'm intrigued. I'm looking to move to Dalston shortly as it's affordable and central. The only thing stopping me was that i was paranoid that I'd be wandering around in an anti-stab vest. I may be 35 but I don't wear hipsters or boating shoes, always wear socks and I'm certainly not 'creative'. Would a normal person who wears his non-skinny jeans around waist (not his knees) fit in, in this community? I think I'm even more concerned now!

David Hillier 7:45 pm, 22-Oct-2012

I'd rather live in Dalston than Clapham (and I have lived in both). At the end of the day, people that get all pent up at hipsters are normally people that are intimidated by them. Yes they sometimes look a bit silly, but at least it gives you something to talk about.

harry 8:54 pm, 22-Oct-2012

this postcode snobbery is really played out, who the fuck cares?! If you don't want to rub shoulders with these people don't go to Dalston or shoreditch. Yes some of the posing is ott but everyone can see that without a diatribe against it, being cool for cools sake isn't a new phenomenon. And if they end up in offices you are going to sit there smug glad people with artistic ambitions failed, regardless of how far fetch it was? Anyway time to invest in some new gear for my fixie.

harry 8:59 pm, 22-Oct-2012

how this has more comments than my arsenal top ten goals footy retardation article i'll never know.

khon khen keith 3:49 am, 23-Oct-2012

Khon khen ( NE Thailand )Is pretty cool Well it will be next month when the cool season starts

Wiljessica 11:37 am, 23-Oct-2012

Live and let live. Hug a Hipster! Follow @Hip_Lane !

Dalston Square 3:17 am, 17-Dec-2012

I've lived in Dalston for 13 years. I moved here out of necessity; it was one of the few places where I could find a resonable sized flat for a reasonable rent. Plus the flat was a dump and my landlord didn't care what I did in there. In 1999 the whole area was rough, burnt out dancehalls and drug addicts all over the place. South of Dalston Junction was a no-go area on the evenings, been attacked a few times. There was real blatant racism - it was directed against the whites, which were the minority. I got it every day. It was like, 'resentment against our oppressor', plus also it was justified since I was godless and probably a pervert, like all other whites. Strangely, there was an artists'/writers'/musicians' community managing to survive in this hell hole, and in a way Dalston offered shelter from the unreality of outside. There was a relative safe zone in the small area between Shacklewell lane and Arcola Street. Here you could find Cell studios, The Mafuji Gallery, Dalston Underground, The Arcola Theatre, Mangol Restaurant, The space at Millers Terrace, the Marquis pub and a short distance away the Centreprise. Bardens was still a furniture store. That's the beginnings of new trendy Dalston.... But is it really that trendy? While Dalston was rough, it was also very popular on the weekends. On Kingsland High Street and Stoke Newington Road practically every shop had a basement bar or club beneath it. The road was bumper to bumper with cars and the pavements were packed. Much more so than what you see these days. But you probably never knew about this and the press didn't even cover the area because the clubs were all either catering for the Black community or for the Turks. New trendy Dalston ain't got a patch on what used to go on here. So what do I think about it? Actually I don't mind. I haven't got much nostalgia for the old place - it was damned bloody dangerous. I wish Bardens had remained a wild indie hangout instead of the horrible disco joint that it is now. But I think, well it's a new crowd and they have their own thing and would not want an old fogey like me turning up. But I have to laugh at them, thinking they are on-trend and cool, and they are wearing my cast-offs that I gave to Oxfam and riding the skateboards I sold on ebay. I haven't been to the Dalston Jazz bar in a long time, but it seems to have survived, and I expect the Prince Edward (albert?) is still there if I care to look for it. The Marquis pub is still much as it ever was, and amazingly Ali Baba is actually thriving. All these places struggled through times of real hardship so it is only fair that they should at last reap the rewards, even if the clientele are somehow regarded as undeserving by these embittered observers. I'm sticking around for a little while - I have kind of grown used to the place. And if anyone is thinking about pushing me out of my flat and moving in themselves - well forget it, the place is still a dump and you will probably end up with a nasty skin disease.

Ms Jezzabelle du Boné 10:59 am, 20-Dec-2012

Erm, surely by the time Vogue catch on to any trend it's probably over or a the very least peaked. Besides, something can't be fashionable AND cool - a mass influx of white middle class liberal creative thinkers smacks of fashionable, no matter how you rearrange the words or stencil them onto a wall, (with prior permission), They are never going to be cool. They are the parasites that feed on cool, then shit out fashion. The very second you label somewhere as cool, it ceases to be so. NB. When did 25 become the cut off for cool? Fuck me, some of the coolest people in London right now are in their 40s and 50s - where as I don't think any exist under 25!

joe 6:06 pm, 11-Jan-2013

yeah its full of nobs but there's some good music there and turkish food. its kind of better now than it was 10 years ago, on a friday night there would just be a couple of hookers and a crack dealer, now its full of idiots. some of whom are funny and worth chatting to, some of whom are sexy, and some of whom are hilariously dressed morons. shame about the rents going up. london as a whole is a self-obsessed twat magnet, in other areas people just have slightly different obsessions, like money or management consultancy.

Jimbo 11:36 am, 4-Apr-2013

The person who wrote this is desperate to be a hipster.

Pablo 9:30 pm, 31-Aug-2013

Yawn. These geographical congregations of contemporary self importance are nearly as dull as the predictable reaction that they always inspire in those inclined to criticise. This has been happening for decades now. It's one thing to observe and offer insight, it's quite another thing to make a tedious and predictable judgement...

jimmynine 5:16 pm, 24-Oct-2013

This is boring, Let people do what they want in life, if there not hurting anyone what's the problem, people are forever writing articles like this "where I live has become trendy blah blah blah i hate it blah blah blah" but making sure they make it very clear that they were there first.... sounds like the jealously of someone looking in from the outside. As regards to peoples accents does this mean you should be embarrassed by speaking well so should whisper? I had the XX album on a promo now i don't like them because they're main stream.. hold on wait it must be infectious!

Bay 12:36 pm, 25-Oct-2013

I've never lived in London but visited alot and I'll tell you the annoying thing is people going on about the different small areas like I'm supposed to care about it. Just take me to a fucking good restaurant and a pub, and possibly a house party with some sluts. You've got good pubs and restaurants all over the place like we haven't up north so stop being a finicky cunt and serve up something tasty. People ball aching on about when ur there too to each other. "I used to live in Camden but its too trendy so I moved to Hackney. Yeah it's great as long as Blah blah blah." I know London like, IS the WHOLE WORLD but to an outsider you sound like a bunch of boring twats

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