9 Things That Should've Been April Fools...But Weren't

This lot would've made a cracking April Fools Day joke - but the funniest thing is, they're all true...
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This lot would've made a cracking April Fools Day joke - but the funniest thing is, they're all true...

Boris Johnson On A Zip Line

Still as lollerific as it was at the time, the Fawlty Towers-esque video of BoJo slowly gliding down a sagging zip line - flags in hand - somewhere over Olympic Park should, by rights, have quickly been shown up to be a hoax, a lookalike, a fake.

But it wasn't. Instead, we can gaze 'pon his failing, stupid face a hundred times more - and find it a little bit funnier every time.

Bacon Floss

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Hey, you! Like bacon? Got teeth? Then you'll love this new Bacon Floss!

Yep, this is actually a thing - and means that you can now improve your dental hygiene whilst enjoying the amazing flavour of crispy bacon. If that's your thing (LOLZ, we know it's nobody's thing).

This African River Turning Into Strawberry Milkshake

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Well, not QUITE milkshake...but pretty close. A freak storm meant that Senegal's Lake Retba turned Yazoo pink due to massive levels of salt - upto 40% in some areas. Cute.

Nick Griffin Presents His Own Cooking Show

He might be a fascist fuckwit, but he's a dab hand in the kitchen - and decides to impart his culinary wisdom to the rest of us, by cooking up a big old traditional English stew. With Swedes in it.

If this is the beginning of a bizarre PR attempt to make him look less like a twat, and more like a twat who hangs around awkwardly next to a big melting pot, and then gets his sulky mates to slowly lollop his racist slop into their fat mouths, then it's definitely working.

Toe Shoes

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This little piggy went to market...bought the worst footwear ever made (take that, Crocs) and insists on wearing them around the house, to the shops, and on the bus.

Originally created as running shoes, these have been around for ages, but have crossed over to the mainstream - and are now the reserve of fat blokes wiping their nacho stained fingers on their three day old, sagging, sweatpants.

The Bloke With Two Nobs

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Unless you were living under a rock earlier this year, then you've probably heard about the bloke packin' double.

After revealing his quirk to the Internet, he and his ambidickstrous cocks went viral (I'm sure there's a pill for that) - popping up all over the world, from breakfast news to late night chat shows, before all the scramble and furore came to a head (or two).

3D Printers

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3D Printers are pretty much the most mental invention since Short Circuit, and since they hit the shelves they've been used to knock out everything from guns, to clothing, and even food. Perfect replicas, too. Pretty swish, eh?

Well, yeah, but print me a 3D Printer and then I'll be REALLY impressed.

This Blacked-Up Woman Performing As Stevie Wonder On Greek TV

Yes - this really happened. Complete with face paint and signature head roll, this lady pays tribute (a little TOO accurately) to Stevie Wonder, and simultaneously rolls comedic morality back 40 years in the process. Pretty funky, though.

Boris Johnson

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'Nuff said.