This Fucking Idiot Drank Four Goldfish Because The Internet Told Him To

For the love of cod, let's hope this wanker gets battered, etc etc etc.
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For the love of cod, let's hope this wanker gets battered, etc etc etc.

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The #NekNomination phase has long passed, but a few of the top #NekNominees are still facing the consequences for their outlandish, lad-bantz-filled behaviour - none more so than THIRTY-THREE-YEAR-OLD (yes, thirty-fucking-three) Paul Wooding from Herefordshire.

Wooding, whose gutsy #NekNomination gained over 2,000,000 views, has this week been charged with causing unnecessary harm to animals and for failing to protect a fish.

In order to out-do his fellow males and in turn gain numerous lad points, Wooding created a kind of cocktail you've probably not seen before.

For those who haven't seen the banter-filled vid, the drink consisted of Gin, Vodka, Rum, lemonade and four goldfish.

Despite gagging once or twice, Wooding finished the drink with ease with a chorus of cheers following from his chums, who were filming the event as it happened.

The video, however, was picked up by the RSPCA following its upload onto Wooding's Facebook. The RSPCA were quick to act and said: "The fish have been caused pain, on video evidence" after reporting him to the local authorities.

Hours later Wooding posted this outburst onto his Facebook page: "Some people's lives must be that sad and boring, to get any excitement they have to report me to the RSPCA for my #Neknominate."

Wooding's excuse reel was as strong as a new born's arm as he began to tell the court he was peer-pressured by mates and it didn't really matter anyway as fish are just 'little minnows'.

He also shared that he had, prior to the #NekNomination, drunk six double-gin and tonics plus eight pints of beer - Which is enough to make anyone drink a fish-based cocktail, right?

Wooding was ordered to pay £500.00 costs and a £15.00 victim surcharge for his #NekNomination. Presumably Wooding now knows there's a time and a PLAICE to consume fish and in a internet-fuelled cocktail certainly isn't one.

The cunt.