We Love You Van Damme

He's predicted his own death, slept with one of the most sought after women in the world (apparently) not to mention he's bloody good at kicking arse. Van Damme we salute you.
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He's predicted his own death, slept with one of the most sought after women in the world (apparently) not to mention he's bloody good at kicking arse. Van Damme we salute you.

HE USED TO LIVE IN A CAR

So great were the big man’s dreams of movie glory that when he first arrived in Hollywood he kipped in a rental car because of poverty. Then one day Van Damme met a film executive in the street and did a flying kick inches above his head. He became an instant star. Job done.

HE GOT AN HARD-ON ON THE TELLY BY MISTAKE

While appearing on a Brazilian variety show, the great man did some bumping and grinding with a pair of lithesome South American foxtresses as the crowd whooped and hollered. Unfortunately as the music faded, Jean Claude was left standing there with a sizey banger filling his strides. Erm…

HE’S GOING TO DIE THIS YEAR

That’s according to the man himself, back in 2007. Priding himself on his ability to see into the future coupled with an astronomical cholesterol level, he swears he’ll peg it by the time he’s fifty in October 2010. “Heart attack,” he reckons. “Massive.” What a man – the fucker sounds like he’s almost looking forward to it.

HE GOT IT ON WITH KYLIE

No really, he said it himself so it must be true. While the pair were filming the 1994 epic Street Fighter, JCVD reckons the pair had a “mini-affair”. Kylie has never corroborated the claims but then again, being in Street Fighter probably isn’t something she likes to talk about at all these days.

HE’S GOING TO KNOCK STEVEN SEAGAL ON HIS ARSE

Van Damme recently said 'My last fight was more than 20 years ago. I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover. If somebody's going to speak bad about me, I will walk away. 'But if a guy like Steven Seagal slaps me once, I will slap him twice as hard. Life is full of violence.’ Amen.

Now watch the astonishing 'confession' scene from the great man's autobiographical film JCVD...

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