I have said to many people “What other people think about you is none of your business.”
Throughout my life, and even in recent times, I have watched people try to be liked, to not upset people, to keep the peace. From watching this all I found was they were spiralling around the bend trying to please everyone in all things that were simply beyond their control, as it is impossible to control somebody else's thoughts.
Even worse yet, some people go through life trying to predict what others are thinking and creating a drama where none even exists—all the while wasting their existence. These people are buying into the exceptionally large misunderstanding that someone else knows them better than they do themselves. Constantly trying to please others and fit in is not only exhausting, it moves them further and further away from the truth of who they really are.
You may think being a people pleaser makes you a “good” person and is perhaps even a generous or loving way to be. But I disagree, massively. From my point of view it’s very selfish to be a people pleaser. I'll explain why. Being attached to constantly pleasing others is really all about you. You are the one who wants to be liked. You are the one who does not want to upset anyone. You are the one protecting yourself from confrontation. And you are the one who is choosing to withhold expressing who you really are. And by doing all of those things, you are keeping yourself, your light and your Love from the world – and that is selfish. If you are making it your business – your focus is all about you, or should I say your ego.
Some people even care about the opinions of strangers You have to admit it, that's completely nuts. To care about people who don’t even know your name think, right? I mean you probably will never see them again anyhow, so what is the point in impressing them? If you worry about getting everyone’s approval, you’d never get anywhere. If you let what others think of you become your business, it will consume all of your time and energy, draining you of the ability to move on in your life.
Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean being completely ignorant of other peoples feelings, but rather their thoughts about you. You cannot change their mind by constantly worrying and stressing about what they think of you.
All you can do, is be the person you are truly meant to be and feel comfortable with that. More than comfortable though, be the person that you want to spend your time with. Forget the thoughts about you from others and concentrate on the thoughts you have about yourself.
I only have to be concerned and deal with what is in my luggage. What people think of me is in their luggage. I need to stay out of other people’s luggage, even if I don’t want to. If I was to become preoccupied with what someone else might think, I don’t share my honest self and voice. I would be giving up too much of my life to “them,” and get lost and tangled in a web of disguise, having no idea who I am or what I believed in.
I could never live my life based on what others might think of me, whether it be negative or positive. The words from others are useless, unless you believe them to be true in your own hearts. Let's be honest if I try to make everyone think the best of me, it is only natural that there is going to be a mammoth and awkward disappointment at some unexpected point. There is another great saying, 'Accept the thing's I cannot change, the courage to change the thing's I can and the wisdom to know the difference'.