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Why I Just Joined The Labour Party
The Tories are screwing up the country, education and economy so badly that even people who despaired of Gordon Brown's government are now joining the Labour Party.
For the first term, in 1997, the Labour government deserved cautious praise. The minimum wage, Sure Start, the banning of fox hunting. There was much to be pleased with. With the drift to the populist right, the next 10 years were a murderous farce. Labour took us into an illegal war. Our pensions are not worth a jot. They dismantled civil rights at an alarming pace. Beyond Gordon Brown clearly having a healthy contempt for the average voter, there is very little to be said for them. I’ve just joined the Labour Party. Why? The Tories. It’s obvious and puerile to lay into the Conservatives and their supporters. So let’s do it!
Almost human, the Tories have their cards marked as semi-sentient greed merchants when you consider their natural supporters. It’s easy to lay into bankers. The reason it’s so easy is because they are self-lining vermin. The investment banks claim they help the country with wealth creation. I don’t deny they create wealth. It’s wealth that goes offshore quicker than they spunk their dirty mess up a coked-addled Hollyoaks extra. What use? Fat use.
High street banks defend their position on the grounds that they support the local businesses. This would be the same group of banks who are now so isolationist they won’t even lend to each other. This would be the same group of banks who make grating, faux matey ads where we are led to believe that they spend their time in DJ booths instead of repossessing your house. This would be the same group of banks that charge 14% APR on your overdraft. A bank you own charging you interest - now that’s the definition of faux matey.
Just months into a coalition, the writing is on the wall. This week George Monbiot revealed the plans to turn Britain into a tax haven. Not just any old tax haven, but one where the breaks are set up specifically to advantage large, multinational companies. Right now, the banks - our little mates remember, with the staff who remember our kids’ names on their home visits - are closing credit on eminently viable small and medium businesses.
Osborne might protest, but this is like him doing a shit lap on Top Gear in the wet. Yes, it was wet, but it would have been a shit lap in the dry, George.
It’s reasonable to suggest most British people would thus welcome tax credits to allow them to create jobs in Britain, or stay afloat in a depression. An example of this was Labour allowing VAT payments to be deferred. George Osborne though, decided the way to support business was to allow oversized corporations the unnecessary break of not paying tax on money brought into this country. We are the only country to have such an absurd tax break.
This runs counter to the claim that ‘we’re all in this together.’ Given more than half the front bench were educated at the ludicrously expensive Eton, and that our chancellor stands to inherit millions, the government would have to go a fair length to convince us of their belief in this claim. They wouldn’t, for example, cut housing benefit, affordable housing budgets, disability allowance and sell off our forests, would they? Oh, right, they would. They brazenly lie to us, to convince us that, ‘we’re all in this together,’ simply by repeating it, literally, ad nauseam.
They paint themselves as in it for the little guy. A list of their greatest hits reveals this to be hysterically untrue. They’ve cut Education Maintenance Allowance, which gave cash to poorer students to ensure, or at least encourage them to take their A-levels. Poverty is the driving reason for poor educational performance, and they just directly increased poverty to those aiming to improve their education. As important, they introduced tuition fees with a £9,000 ceiling. If you want to put people off education, and destroy social mobility, I cannot think a better way than making it seem prohibitively expensive, and then cutting their chance of taking an exam even to be considered.
At a time when people need their jobs to be kept, the government have zigged where the consenus has zagged. Mavericks. That’s right, they’ve started a massive anti-investment drive in order to reduce public employment, at a rate seemingly designed to secure a double dip recession. Their answer to protests against cuts, apart from beating up the disabled? The geniuses have decided not to be conciliatory, but to put legal obstacles up against strikes. That’ll engender respect and public obedience, Dave.
I am not arguing the public sector could not be reduced nor made more efficient, but I am arguing that putting people out of a job, in the middle of a recession, and on to the balance sheet for the state welfare budget, is not forward planning. The cuts are far too gung-ho, clearly.
Right now, the banks - our little mates remember, with the staff who remember our kids’ names on their home visits - are closing credit on eminently viable small and medium businesses.
That more or less defines this government - gung-ho. Gung-ho selling our forests - leading to an outcry from an unsurprisingly massive demographic. Trying to sell off a rescue service only to realise that putting profit into 999 is sheer madness. Ridding the world of asbos before reintroducing them with a different acronym. Banishing quangos only to keep most of them on. In some ways, that’s fine. Having an idea and reconsidering when you think it through is admirable. But in the most important area, the economy, they are not for turning.
The last quarter’s growth was flat. The government have blamed the snow, but the forecast that already took into account the snow was 0.4%. The forecast without the weather would have been closer to 0.9%. Regardless of weather, the country underperformed, its confidence so deflated by the horizon on unemployment and social stagnation. Osborne might protest, but this is like him doing a shit lap on Top Gear in the wet. Yes, it was wet, but it would have been a shit lap in the dry, George.
Of course, it’s not just the Conservatives’ fault. There are some Orange Book bastards. Who’d have thought that dancing Vince Cable, once of friendly oil conglomerate Shell, would turn out to be not quite the egalitarian as he painted himself ? Nick Clegg, in search of a legacy, came up with a paean to Alarm Clock Britain, a heartfelt tribute to anyone who got up in the morning, crassly desecrating the memory of the war dead. Nick Clegg - Alarm Cock.
So that’s why I joined the Labour Party, not necessarily for any positive reason, but because right now, things are overwhelmingly negative.
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COMMENTS
Spot on... We all know there's cuts to be made but they are destroying the very fabric of the country. But how can we expect the wealthy Tories that live in their bubbles to worry about that... We are in it together, we certainly are, the shit
Jesus Christ. And who created the deficit. Come back to us when you get beyond o level economics.
Well Jay, global economic downturn contributed massively to the deficit -that said a Labour government could have avoided such large debt. I was at PMQ's yesterday and what annoys me is Cameron's constant return of 'you put us in this mess'. Stop whining like a bitchy schoolgirl and get on with your job DC.
Tories are cunts. End of.
on the ball there, loved the line about Top Gear
Yeah - this is just as pointless as a battered wife who goes back to her husband thinking it'll be better next time. Just because the current lot are worse DOES NOT mean those dickwads are worth your support. They stole, lied and sucked up to financial institutions for 13 years. I was a Labour supporter when they first came to power, but will never trust them again. No-one else who considers themselves a socialist should either.
This is brilliant.
Guess what? Tories, Labour & the rest of em are cunts! Understand the fundamentals ... we create our own currency as debt! The rest is just messing around. The current Con/Lib mob talk about deficit, but ignore the debt. Jay talks about o level economics ... give me strength ...
Anyone who votes Tory is a massive bellend. By voting Tory, you're essentially saying, 'Fuck you, I'm lookin after number one.' Conservatism is the politics of selfishness and greed.
Sorry Tom ... For 30 years politicians from ALL parties have been saying "Fuck you!" They are all the same ... and it's high time we fucked the lot of 'em off!!
tom, haven't the failed socialist experiments of the past 100 years already proved without a shred of doubt that human nature is hard wired to look after number one. we have a idealistic dream that democracy and politics is about fairness, but the truth is that it's really just all about staying in power by whatever means. the sad truth us that you are on your own. once we all understand this the better. (god what a bleak assessment on a friday morning!).
Yeah, you're right. Bunch of privately-schooled cunts. Labour politicians would never... um, no wait, I mean they would never send their children... ah, shit.
You've just spelled out everything that is wrong with political thinking in this country by bragging that you've joined a nasty and incompetent party(as you clearly laid out in your first paragraph)to get rid of an appalling alternative party. What on earth is wrong with people that they can't see past the big 3 parties? Are we totally incapable of trying something completely different?
this article is like saying i'd rather be shafted up the arse by a slightly less toffy 10 inch stick than a very toffy 12 inch stick.
The middle class - listen to them. Happy about about banning fox huntin (fuck the toffs) and introducing the minimum wage (keep the filthy working class where they belong). Make everyone the same and kill anything that looks like a certain social group enjoys anything we can't have in Islington - be you a lord or a layabout. This lot are the same as the last lot of public school educated professional politicians with absolutely no idea about life outside of Westminster and thinking they know what the man on the street wants - but speaking as if they do, they do understand us - makes William Hague's 13 pint days look almost realistic. It's not about parties anymore. Tony Blair David cameron - same person. When will someone normal stand up and say vote for me?
I agree that Labour are really not that different to the Tories. Maybe once, long ago, was there a clear divide between the main parties in this country. Given the fact however, that we live in a much less actively-politicised age, where pretty much the entire population of Britain is letting itself get bent over and ruthlessly dry-bummed by our Whitehall masters and their mates in banks and business, I really can't see any alternative than Labour being 'slightly' better than the Tories. There's no appetite out there for revolution or upheaval of our political system, and while that doesn't exist, every ensuing government will, on balance, be no different from the ones that have gone before it.
EAT THE RICH.
Blimey, there's a lot of bile in the comments reserved for anyone who went to a public school. I guess some prejudices are fine...
Keith, yeah: mine
That's because nearly everyone in the last two cabinets went to Eton Keith, and most of them are cunts.
"Nobody spends somebody else's money as carefuly as he spends his own. Nobody uses somebody else's resources as carefully as he uses his own. So if you want efficiency and effectiveness, if you want knowledge to be properly utilized, you have to do it through the means of private property." Milton Friedman (Look him up Alex...)
Just in case anyone’s under the frazzled delusion that the Tories have somehow changed, read this: http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/work/article.html?in_article_id=522795&in_page_id=53928
Either people are too young to remember why the Labour party had to shift to the centre, or too stupid. The fact of the matter was, and still is, the press/media in this country is predominantly right-wing, excessively right-wing in fact. Everything that a Socialist Council did was 'Loony'. Kinnock was a 'whinger' Derek 'Del Boy' Hatton was 'Dangerous'. The only way this country could put the brakes on the Tories was for the Labour party to appear less socialist and that's what happened. If there is to be any real change in this country there needs to be a balance in the media. Only 34% of the 68% turnout voted Conservative, Considering they are a party who always get their people out on Election day, that's a pretty poor turnout. So by my reckoning the newspapers need to look at this and realise, if they want to halt the year-on-year decline in circulation, they could do worse than reflect or aim at the views of the vast majority of people in these isles, which is namely social democracy. The eighties will never be repeated......
bet you voted Lib Dem, though, didn't you, you hypocritical illiterate oaf. Man u supporting prick. Bet you jizz all over pictures of gary neville and have got a replica giggs hairy chest you dry hump as a treat. @ Poseur, you're a deluded c**t; Friedman also claimed that the private sector's social responsibility was met through the taxes it pays. Tell that to tax-dodging Tory bastards like Green and the Non-exec. Tory donor directors of the private firms that will hoover up all the managed services contracts from the corpses of the public services. @ Keith Wildman, fuck off, you cunt. Some of my best friends went to... oh, no, that's a lie I can't bring myself to type. I also abhor fox-hunting, shooting of any birds etc.
Kingkerouac, do you honestly believe that the BBC is 'excessively right-wing'? Most people would disagree, I think. 'So by my reckoning the newspapers need to look at this and realise, if they want to halt the year-on-year decline in circulation, they could do worse than reflect or aim at the views of the vast majority of people in these isles, which is namely social democracy.' If that's true, why do left-leaning papers operate at a massive loss? Guardian Media Group lost £171 MILLION in 2009-10 and the Indie has had to move in with Associated Newspapers to make ends meet. The Telegraph, on the other hand, is the only 'broadsheet' to make a profit.
Guardian Media Group lost £171 million in part to some truly awful investments as much as their circulation
@ Judas - Piss off, everyone avoids tax, be it "Tory bastards" or students avoiding their TV license. Labour led this country into the highly alarming state were by 1 in 6 of the British population is classified as disabled, a quarter are out of work and out of education, and the taxpayers is taking it in the backside to finance that. Irrespective of your political leaning, or what school you went to, when you have the (former) shadow chancellor claiming he'll learn on the job by reading an introduction to finance, it beggars belief. @ Steve - Reviewed all comments and I like the PJ O'Rourke reference...
If anyone thinks what these fuckers are doing to the people of this country is fair, then they obviously can afford to....it is obvious to the rest of us that they are pilfering the wealth of the nation and using the excuse of the banking crisis to do it.....a crisis that was caused by the greed of the banks....why the fuck should the majority have to pay for the excesses of a criminal minority....i for one will be taking to the streets of the capital on the 26th March......fucking crooks!!!
The Telegraph is a cuntwad for David Cameron's dead mother isn't it?
@ Poseur, regrets for the tardy response, but fuck yourself. The cunts who don't pay tax do so by choice, mugs like me in employment for fuck knows how long, moan about tax but understand it's a fundamental aspect of the social contract. To suggest that everybody avoids tax is a fucking ingrate's way is a lazy assertion. It's far simpler to chase the small business for fucking up its tax declaration than it is to pin down oleaginous Tory hypocrite bastards for their corporate liabilities. If you don't pay your taxes, good luck to you, but I hope you have private health care because I don't want my taxes funding your arsecopy treatment on the NHS, you fucker.
What short memories people have. If it wasn't for Labour, we wouldn't be in this mess. I know that's the stock answer but it happens to be the truth. Also, with regards to the vitriol reserved for the privately educated; it must be a nuisance going through life with a massive chip on your shoulder. Hardly living, is it?
Bollocks. Labour got us into this mess, and bending over backwards so the lazy and useless can fuck us over some more is not the answer. Screw Labour, screw Ed Fuckface Milliband and his empty words
Agree with Mark - the overarching theme of this article is 'fickle'. You support with a party because you agree with their core beliefs and manifesto. I'm not the Tories' biggest fan, mainly because of their public school tendencies and preference towards their own kind (the upper middle classes), but Labour aren't much better. The only politician to show me he still has integrity and knows what the hell he's talking about is Vince Cable - hence I'll be backing the Lib Dems (despite the Nick Clegg factor, even though I think he's been harshly treated in light of some pretty difficult circumstances). The fact is, the Tories may have implemented some harsh cuts - but we have no idea yet or knowing whether these cuts are the right way of going about things or not. I personally don't think they are - but I can hardly say this current government are a shower of shit until the proof is there for all to see...
Was Ed Milliband made by Frank Oz? He looks like a muppet, sounds like a muppet....
These cuts are nothing to do with reducing the defecit or cleaning up the mess left by Labour, they're just convenient excuses for the encumbent regime of repressed public school batty boys to get a twisted sexual thrill from the idea of plunging vulnerable people into destitution. The fact that many of these vulnerable people are women only serves to increase the sadistic pleasure felt by these emotionally stunted inverts.
This article says nothing. It's a schoolboy effort. i don't know if the Tories are messing things up...yet. Time will tell. If the only alternative is Ed Milliband - who hasn't actually spoken since March - then I don't see an alternative.
I voted Labour all my adult life until I witnessed the mess they made of immigration. Pitting poor indigenous communities against even poorer incoming communities for an ever decreasing share of the pot. And for what? To promote a twisted pan-world socialist dream that the people of this country never voted for and don't want. Whoever is brave enough to kick out the 600,000-million people here illegally (LSE study), put an end to mass immigration and an end to multi-culturalism will get my vote. Currently the ConDems are talking the talk. They might be absolute cunts but at least they're making the right noises and acknowledge the problem. Ultimately it's time for a new party to challenge the status quo. I think it is possible now more than ever with the rise of new media. It won't be easy but it's not impossible.
Seeing as the Labour party don't support the strikes it's difficult to see why this (already substandard) article has been recycled.
"High street banks defend their position on the grounds that they support the local businesses. This would be the same group of banks who are now so isolationist they won’t even lend to each other. This would be the same group of banks who make grating, faux matey ads where we are led to believe that they spend their time in DJ booths instead of repossessing your house. This would be the same group of banks that charge 14% APR on your overdraft. A bank you own charging you interest – now that’s the definition of faux matey." you idiot.
It doesn't matter who you vote for, the government always gets in.
You are basing your new membership of Labour based on two parties attempting to bring this country back to its knees after years spent on the floor..here are just 10 points (there are hundreds)why we are in this situation.. 1. Tony Blair led the country to war on the basis of a lie – the 45-minute dossier was a disgraceful manipulation of some very sketchy intelligence. More than 200 soldiers had been killed, a similar number grievously wounded, while tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians have lost their lives. 2. The suicide of Dr David Kelly after he had been exposed by Downing Street as the source of leaks to the BBC about the soundness of weapons intelligence (see above). The most nauseating moment in this episode came courtesy of Alastair Campbell, an unelected Labour functionary, who summoned a press conference to crow over the findings of the Hutton inquiry into Kelly’s death which inexplicably decided it was all the BBC’s fault. 3. Tony Blair’s warmongering extended beyond Iraq – there was Kosovo, Sierra Leone, Afghanistan – but a common theme was that British forces were routinely expected to put their lives on the line with inadequate kit and equipment. Much of the responsibilty for that lay with Gordon Brown who, as Chancellor, just did not “get” the military. 4. Brown’s uncontested accession to the premiership – after years spent undermining Blair – revealed just how rotten Labour had become. This was more akin to the Politburo than a modern democratic party. The one consolation is that it proved an unmitigated disaster for Labour. 5. While Chancellor, Brown perfected a whole armoury of tricks to obscure what he was actually doing – double and triple counting, endless re-announcements of the same policy, stealth taxes by the score. So intent was he on his smoke and mirrors games that he seemed not to notice he was sending the economy down the tubes. 6. Bernie Ecclestone’s £1 million donation to Labour was an early indicator that Labour’s moral compass was non-existent and that Blair’s claim to be a “pretty straight kind of guy” was to be taken with a sackful of salt. 7. Parliament under Labour was utterly marginalised. Both Blair and Brown treated the Commons with contempt and we had the weakest (as well as most dishonest) legislature in memory. 8. Labour’s failure even to attempt to control immigration led to profound changes in this country that people did not want. Yet any attempt to debate the issue was branded racist by Labour – until it finally dawned on them (far too late) that their own supporters were furious about the changing nature of their communities. 9. A spending binge without precedent in this country’s history has delivered the most paltry improvements in the public services. A great opportuntiy to modernise Britain has simply been frittered away. 10. Labour’s Big Brother intrusiveness into all aspects of our lives is without precedent outside communist or fascist regimes. A government that has trumpeted its commitment to human rights systematically eroded them. This is just scratching the surface...before its too later...reconsider..
England is crap. Always has been, always will be. It doesn't matter who you vote for, if you change sides, or if you protest in the streets. The fact is, Britain is dying. We have no industry. We manufacture nothing. Our press makes us believe that Britain is great, when in fact, we're shit at everything. That's why everyone is always left so bloody disappointed when our football team fails to perform on the international stage. No, Wayne Rooney and the like are not footballing gods, they're just average. And as crude an analogy as that is, that pretty much applies to everything that Britain does. Get the hell out of England, before it's too late.
How strange that the left leaning posters seem to forget that there was a Labour government in power between 1997 to 2010 dedicated to increasing it's majority by creating make work in marginal seats rather then real jobs that actually generated money. The current situation is not all their fault, but don't just post crap that all the ills we are going through are due to the Tories. Man up and accept that the previous Labour admin pretty much put us where we are now Simon
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