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Top 10 TV Theme Songs
After the scorching debate surrounding the Top 10 TV theme tunes, I thought the time was ripe to follow it up with the Top 10 TV Songs. And yes, there is a difference, remember to read the rules...
The main differentiators between theme tunes and theme songs are that songs have lyrics and they’re usually not as good as their instrumental counterparts, but there are mitigating factors. Imagine being a poor songwriter or lyricist, hired to create a song that describes the plot and atmosphere of a TV show in just a couple of verses. And make it catchy. And make it memorable. All of the songs below achieve the very tricky job of setting the show up while being un-annoying enough to ensure you don’t reach for the remote.
One rule: Songs must be written specifically for the show and not be appropriated from another source (out goes ‘Way Down In The Hole’ from The Wire).
Rainbow
‘Up above the streets and houses..’ Ace. It’s got flute playing worthy of Jethro Tull, hippy-ish Peter, Paul and Mary vocals and a mad drum break right at the end that teasingly promises a full-on wig out.
White Horses
Not got a clue what this dull 60’s German TV show was meant to be about – Skippy with horses, maybe? – but the theme sounds like Sergio Mendes covering Belle and Sebastian. Which is a good thing, by the way.
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
A big, balls-out terrace chant written by the show’s co-creator Ian La Frenais. The best Oasis song Oasis never recorded.
Minder
Yes, yes, Dennis Waterman ‘wrote da feem toon, sang da feem toon’ but, if they’re all this good, let him. As soon as that descending piano riff skips in you know you’re in for at least 30 seconds good rockin’. Also features the only acceptable use of slap bass playing from the whole of the 80’s.
Diff’rent Strokes
This one joke sitcom (that joke being ‘dwarf looks disconcerted a lot’) might have been patronising, mystifyingly-popular tosh but the theme tune has you strutting round the living room like Huggy Bear on Red Bull the second it starts.
Auf Weidersehen Pet
I could have picked any of the tunes from the original two series of ‘Auf Pet’, (all sung by Joe ‘they couldn’t afford Cocker’ Fagin) but there’s something about the melancholy of this one that sets it apart. As damning an indictment of Thatcher’s Britain as Ghost Town - I genuinely believe that. Interesting fact: When Pat ‘Bomber’ Roach died the other cast members had a wreath made for the funeral that read ‘Auf Weidersehen, Pat’ – which is genius.
Only Fools and Horses
Toughy. Do you go for the opening song or the closer? I’ve plumped for the Hooky Street because it’s not often you get a cockney rap tune that mentions Trevor Francis and sounds like a cross between Squeeze and Chas & Dave.
Welcome back Kotter
I don’t care that you’ve never heard of the programme, revel in this Randy Newman/ Billy Joel-esque slice of laid back loveliness. Interesting fact: John Travolta’s catchphrase in the show was ‘up your nose with a rubber hose’.
The Generation Game
Brucie has always wanted to be Sammy Davis Jnr – we know it, he knows it – and this is the closest he ever got to sounding like him. It’s a wonderful attempt at a Rat Pack-ish celebration of creepy uncles and buck-teethed daughters failing to make origami badgers or eat lunch on a rollercoaster. No, wait, that was Jim’ll Fix It – speaking of which….
Jim’ll Fix It
No-one can fathom the King of Leeds, Jimmy Saville. Genius? Perv? Weirdo? Renaissance Man? Saddo? – He’s all of these things and so much less besides. But without him we would never have had this piece of ba-ba-ba-brilliance. (The closing theme, by the way, not the opening pseudo-funk thing, that was crap)
I know there’s loads more, feel free to tell me where I’ve gone wrong. *Girds himself for the inevitable Banana Splits onslaught*
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COMMENTS
What about Superstars?? The height of 70's TV themes or Record Breakers "if you're the first, the worst the longest immersed..."
The Flashing Blade, Animaniacs, and Thundercats. Worthy contenders for inclusion, I would moot.
No Jamie and The Magic Torch, really?
The Sweeney. Great opening music and a class laid-back refrain for the closing credits.
Agree with the above flashing blade, thundercats and Jamie and the magic torch. But what about Dogtanian,stingray and marineboy.
The Flashing Blade theme; the, ahem, best New Model Army song that New Model Army never recorded.
Barney Miller, laid back funk
The theme to Budgie! Great song and it's written by Ray Davies. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTSB2b-nFKY Agree with the Likely Lads, great song.
Loved the list. But what about Spider-Man (60s), The Fall Guy, Dukes Of Hazzard and, ahem, Wonder Woman?
As others have said love the list, some missing ones that have been mentioned could/should have been there too, and still more like Jossys Giants, The Red Hand Gang, The Littlest Hobbo, all really represent the show.
Rakey, you've got a point with Jossie's Giants and Littlest Hobo, they maybe should be in there. I had to beware not to make the list too kids TV heavy.
Dr Who. Scared the crap out of me as a nipper. Used to hide behind the settee to frightend to even go turn the telly off.
Surprised you didn't mention that the "Welcome Back Kotter" theme was sung by John Sebastian of Lovin' Spoonful.
Donna, top fact. I'm suitably chastened.
You've missed Avenues and Alleyways from The Protectors. Sung by the great Tony Christie. Crap programme though...
Dave, what about the all singing all dancing theme to Record Breakers sung by Tap Dancing Trumpet Blowing Legend that was Roy Castle!
Ps and Why Don't You...who could have got through the school holidays in the late seventies without this!
No Ulysses 31? It rhythms Ulyess with Galaxies that alone has a certain amount of class.
because of you by Dexys written for Brush Strokes
Well, I was going to suggest Barney The Dinosaur, but maybe it's just me that still has that ear worm forever well and truly lodged, even though my kids are now grown up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoikUowTLUo But what about The Muppet Show, and also Randy Newman's "It's A Jungle Out There" - TV theme song from "Monk" ?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j5Be5a86uA
Grandstand. Doesn't need words.
My mum performed the wedding ceremony of Harry Hill. He had the Generation Game theme as his post-wedding send off song.
Grizzly Adams, Beachcombers, Prospects.
Magpie. "One for sorrow. two for joy.." By the Spencer Davis Group apparantly. And let's not forget the perfect pop of Rupert the Bear, Banana Splits, Folly Foot (Lightning Tree) and the bestest of the lot...Flashing Blade.. oh and then there's Rentaghost... I'll stop there for now... ;)
The Protectors, 'Avenues and Alleyways' by Tony Christie. Brilliant song, shit show. Big Deal by Bobby G (of Bucks Fizz!) and Rockliffe's Babies 'Rock-a-bye-baby, in your tower block, your Mum's on the social, your Dad's in the dock!' You cannot beat a socially aware lyric like that!
The Persuaders. The Persuaders. The Persuaders. And Hill Street Blues.
Budgie (as already mentioned, World In Action - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4LCieQ7UiM Johnny Jarvis - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V7K-hosuCw
You should do a top ten of retro cartoon tunes. I nominate Mysterious Cities of Gold and Ulysses 31.
Murphys Mob .
I was going to say The Persuaders (as I, errr, still have the single) but it doesn't have words. So I'll also go for The Protectors - top tune.
SUPER 'Mother Fucking' GRAN, I may have added that middle bit myself. Billy Connolly's dabble in 80's TV tunes was an absolute winner!
Oooooh bit late to the game but what about Dukes Of Hazzard and Lee Majors doinga Dennis Waterman "The Fall Guy" ? Still think Barney The Dinosaur should be on the list though...
Jonny Briggs.
Yes 'Only Fools and Horse's' rock' s- great list
The Double Deckers, The Flashing Blade and Fireball XL5 win every time for me, with an honourable mention for Joe 90
Taxi
Shit.Didn't read the rules.
the sopranos
Fresh prince
Cor, that picture of Jimmy Saville looks dodgy now, doesn't it?
Jonny Briggs. That trombone....
How about the cartoon uylesses? Effing amazing....
Persuaders anyone ?
Murphy's Mob?
Dennis Waterman did NOT 'write the feem toon' to Minder. It was written by 70s one hit wonder Gerard Kenny (music) and Dennis's wife, Patricia (lyrics).
The Rockford Files, The Sweeney, Jamie & The Magic Torch, Dr Who, Mastermind, Blakes 7, Grandstand, Sportsnight.
Always liked the Big Break theme.
