This is Adam Mole, once loveable rogue in UK indie outfit ‘Pop Will Eat Itself’.
The time has come to sell some stuff.
Bit of an odd thing, I want to get rid of my PWEI clutter.
It’s always a sad moment when an ageing rock star sells his past or a hard up ex-footballer sells his medals, I’ve always shied away from the League Of Gentleman’s ‘Crème Brulee’ moment but are you ready for this?
I really want a caravan.
No I haven’t reached rock bottom; we live in a great old house doing the VDub thing at weekends in our 1967 Volkswagen deluxe 13 window split screen campervan.
But this is the point… we do it in Britain… in a field… in the wind… in the cold… and in the rain… BASTARD ENDLESS RAIN!
Thing is, there’s not enough room for all of us to sleep in the campervan so I always end up in a tent. Combine the horrors of getting utterly, utterly, systematically soaked last weekend, this weekend and next weekend (trust me, I just know), turning 50 and the un-enviable fashion for grumpy old git syndrome currently sweeping my age range and this is why I yearn for a nice cosy vintage caravan.
The Mrs. won’t have it. She has banned me spending any more of our hard earned cash in pursuit of ‘glamping’ when all I ever do is spend the time ‘grumping’. Like most women she is tough and doesn’t mind the rain.
She does however always sleep in the campervan. No matter how many times I shout “Shotgun” I always get the tent, sometimes the ‘2 man pop up’, sometimes the ‘3 man pop up’, sometimes the ‘awning’ but always the tent.
The Mrs. won’t have it. She has banned me spending any more of our hard earned cash in pursuit of ‘glamping’
She points out I have just spent a fortune on more unnecessary shiny chrome bits for our campervan ‘Rodriguez’ as we call him and anyway, towing an old caravan would spoil the look of our beautiful split screen dream machine…. no longer will children smile and wave, they may now just point, or throw things or even worse… just laugh! She does have a point!
After toying with the idea of trading me in for a younger, less grumpy model, booting me out and letting me sleep everynight of the year in the campervan (albeit dry), in reality she would miss ‘Rodriguez’ far too much!
So we have come to a compromise.
I still have rucks of PWEI stuff I don’t want so If I can raise some cash through the sale of my PWEI clutter and finally ‘get rid’, she may sanction the purchase of a cool caravan that will harbour an old, slightly treasured, late 80’s, early 90’s minor indie pop star somewhere in a field… somewhere near you… at a festival… in the rain… BASTARD ENDLESS RAIN!
Undeniably the pleasure to be had from being if not warm, but at least dry inside an Eriba Puck during my twilight years is a constant source of extreme comfort.
For your information an Eriba Puck is a small lightweight vintage German caravan not a large heavyweight, recently deceased Dutch prostitute. Er… just thought you should know!
Such simple pleasure dictates the announcement of my fortnightly, year long eBay fundraising venture. Planned from next week or some other time, no promises, maybe.., my PWEI related ‘lots’, some weird, some wonderful, some rubbish, some stupid, some totally one-off pieces will come ‘under the hammer’… probably.
Each item will be auctioned with my written personal memories or anecdotes of the piece (these could be a little cloudy to say the least considering my band mates often labelled me ‘Partial Recall’ in honour of my inability to remember even the previous night) and a signed letter of authenticity.
Well that’s the theory. I did say it was a bit odd! I might not get round to it though!
Editor’s note: Good job old caravans are cheap if you ask me!
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