Happy Birthday Prince - But What Was Really Going On In Raspberry Beret?

At first listen, you might mistake Prince's seminal 1985 hit 'Raspberry Beret' for a catchy little number about a blossoming teenage romance. But listen closer, there's something sinister going on...
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At first listen, you might mistake Prince's seminal 1985 hit 'Raspberry Beret' for a catchy little number about a blossoming teenage romance. But listen closer, there's something sinister going on...

A while ago I saw someone do Prince as their specialist subject on mastermind, and got every question right. I’ve been to see him dozens of times he’s always double decker mint. I tried to get on stage with him at the 02 arena a couple of years ago, I didn’t make it though, Prince’s dancer didn’t pick me out, probably because I was shouting “ME! ME! ME! ME!” rather frighteningly, in her face when she came down into the front rows to choose dancers for a mid gig on-stage party. It was her loss.

So, the song Raspberry Beret… On the face of it a pleasant, and great, pop song, underneath there’s something more sinister… here’s what’s really going on…

‘I was working part time in a five-and-dime, My boss was Mr. McGee’ - fairly self explanatory line that one, he was probably a student or something.

‘He told him several times that he didn’t like my kind ‘cause I was a bit too lee-surely’ - well best buck up or get another job Prince ‘cos he sounds like a bit of a nazi.

‘Seems that he was busy doing something close to nothing but different than the day before’ - definitely a frustrated employee.

‘That’s when he saw her, Ooh, he saw her’ - so she obviously draws attention somehow

‘She walked in through the outdoor, out door’ - doubt it was just the method of entering the shop that caught his eye.

‘she wore a Raspberry Beret’ -Ahh! Ok headwear, that can easily catch your eye.

the kind you find in a second hand store’ - poor Prince can’t afford new hats by the sound of it, bless.

‘Raspberry Beret, and if it was warm she wouldn’t wear much more’ - now she’s starting to sound a bit care in the community, if it was warm you simply wouldn’t wear a beret, you’d get too hot, retard warning!

And we went riding down by old man Johnson’s farm’ - Old Man Johnson, who’s he? Done a sex offenders check on him? If you’re taking an obviously vulnerable neurotic fat bird to his farm it might be an idea?

‘Raspberry Beret I think I love her’ - bit eager there Prince, don’t over egg it mate.

‘Built like she was she had the nerve to ask me’ - Ok she was obviously a bit chunky.

If I planned to do her any harm’ - now that smacks of a paranoid woman, possibly previously in short term abusive relationships, or just a mental.

‘So, look here, I put her on the back of my bike’ - I hope it was a motorbike, push bikes can be hard to control if you’ve got a chubber on the back

And we went riding down by old man Johnson’s farm’ - Old Man Johnson, who’s he? Done a sex offenders check on him? If you’re taking an obviously vulnerable neurotic fat bird to his farm it might be an idea?

‘I said now overcast days never turned me on’ - talking about the weather to her? Is she a dunce? Or really old? Give her a Werthers original!

‘But something about the clouds and her mixed’ - that could pass as romantic I suppose, in a strange way.

‘She wasn’t too bright’ - Ahhhhhhh knew it! She’s retarded!

‘But I could tell when she kissed me she knew how to get her kicks’ - she sounds a bit dirty now, Dirty Retard.

‘I was working part time in a five-and-dime, My boss was Mr. McGee’ - fairly self explanatory line that one, he was probably a student or something.

Chorus….‘she wore a Raspberry Beret, the kind you find’ etc

The rain sounds so cool when it hits the barn roof and the horses wonder who you are’ - If you were a horse and an obese Div wearing questionable millinery turned up in your barn with a dwarf on a bike you’d wonder who they were too, it would look like a fuckin’ circus has just come to town. By the way it must have stunk of horse shit in there. Fuckin’ romantic purple bastard.

‘Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees’ - Oh yeah...? What’s the lightning seeing? Shaggin’ then are we? Is that what the noise is that the thunder has to drown out? She a squealer then? Or a moaner? Or both depending on how near the vinegars he is?

‘and you feel like a movie star’ - which one? Mickey Rourke? He’s a dirty bastard, Woody Allen?

‘Listen they say the first time ain’t the greatest’ - so now he’s judging her as a shit shag, cruel, some might say bunking boring work to have a opportunistic shufty with a salad dodger was a good day, think yourself lucky, shortarse, and don’t slate the gal, she’s probably done her best.

‘But I tell ya If I had the chance to do it all again’ - Oh it might not be your standard fuck and run then, going for the double dip…?

‘I wouldn’t change a stroke ‘cause baby I’m the most’ - bit of a boast Princey, fancy yourself a bit don’t you?

‘For a girl as fine as she was then’ - so you’re saying she’s even worse now than when she was a fat-scruffy-divvy-easy-shag-mong-bird? Jesus Louisus, what does she look like now? Giant fuckin’ Haystacks? Bella Emberg? A hairy bouncy castle with a hat on?

Chorus again, followed by..

‘I think I… I think I… I think I love her’ - I just think Prince was saying that to butter her up so when he’s bored in the shop he can tempt her in with licourice and crisps and smooth compliments, and take her for a quick strump in the barn, filthy little twat.”

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