The pub round the corner has got a great jukebox. One of those internet ones that’s got just about every song you could think of. It helps that the pub is a good one too. Friendly locals, decent banter, good landlord, five ever changing – mainly local - handpulled beers, and most importantly a fairly discerning clientele when it comes to what tunes they stick on. Usually stuff up my street – a bit of 50s or 60s rock n’roll, northern soul, Dylan, 80s and 90s indie or some none offensive 70s harder rock.
There are occasions though, when someone of a younger persuasion may stray in and you can see them eyeing up the jukebox and you know they’re not thinking of putting Steely Dan or Aztec Camera on. More likely Lady GaGa or Chiddy Bang (no I’ve no idea, I just had to Google the Top 40 to find another example).
It’s times like these where you have to think fast and beat them to the jukebox to avoid having to suffer half an hour of nauseating earache. But what to put on? It has so many songs by so many artists under so many categories and sub categories that it’s very easy to freeze when you’ve dropped your money in the slot. Even if you knew exactly what you wanted to play as you walked over. And if you’re on a limited budget (50p 2 plays, £1 4 plays or £2 for 9) that still gives them around half an hour tops, or a round of drinks, before they’re free to ruin your evening.
So, it’s time to bat clever and add song length into the equation. This is where my cut out and keep 9 song playlist comes in. That’s a whopping one and a half hours of quality tunes for two quid! Guaranteed not to have the landlord reaching behind the bar to turn it down and to fuck off anyone who wants to drink blue WKD and listen to Cheryl Cole back to the nearest Lloyds.
Ok, so this may be an obvious one to anyone over 30, it’s famously long and is accompanied by an equally epic video. A good song to start off on, especially on a Friday night and sets the mood for what’s to follow.
Just when you think it’s finished after 4 minutes it comes back and that’s only the start, it repeats the trick just after 9 minutes. That simple guitar hook really gets into your head – twangy!
Probably my favourite song on Screamadelica. A shift away from jangly guitars for both Primal Scream and the £2 pub playlist. Uplifting and most importantly an impressive 10 minutes long.
Papa Was a Rolling Stone
Follows on nicely from Come Together, with funky soul stylings. I enjoy the deep baritone ‘and momma’ and the cool long intro which brings to mind a whole raft of 70s Blaxploitation movies.
The Stone Roses
I make no apologies for including two Stone Roses songs on the list with Fools Gold being the first. Again, funky, dancey, jangly and at 9 mins and 53 seconds still not long enough.
Cowgirl in the Sand
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
From the whispering of Ian Brown comes the understated Neil Young with his tale of erm… a cowgirl in the sand. In fact I’ve no idea what it’s about, I just love the song and the twiddly guitar fuzziness. Goes well with a pint of Landlord.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts I-V)
Not a massive Pink Floyd fan, but at 13 minutes this has to be on. Plus let's not forget, there's always going to be at one prog rock fan in any pub. It’s quite listenable and picks up when they actually start singing at the end.
Leave Them All Behind
I love Ride. Very odd seeing Andy Bell in Oasis on bass. Anyway, a great song from the glory days of shoegazing, with a hint of MBV which gets me up from my red velour stool and airguitaring.
I Am The Resurrection
The Stone Roses
A classic closer. A song that gets people's arms in the air, bellowing the chorus as it rises to a crescendo and another one that catches people out with its two false finishes. The perfect final song of this 90 minutes of £2 musical excellence.
Bonus points if you time it so the last song ends bang on chucking out time. You may want to start the first one at around 10pm.*
Do you have any other suggestions for getting your money's worth from a pub jukebox? Or indeed can you recommend a pub with a similar cracking jukebox? Let us know in the comments section below.
*closing times may vary, please ask your landlord for details.
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