Shit has always been a crowd pleaser. The passage of time is plagued with sane-thinking people whimpering into the abyss, asking themselves "Really? People want to hear this?" but whilst it used to be easy to set oneself aside from those who like Stock Aitken & Waterman, or the Osmonds, or whatever epoch-making bilge you did your best to ignore, it is now far more insidious, and far more sinister. And so, obviously, the only explanation for the crop of behemoth megastars at the top of the tree in 2012 is this. They are illuminati mind-control puppets. You want the red pill or the blue pill...?
The 1% is all over the news at the moment but, of course, it doesn't begin and end with the banking community. The 1% is the ruling elite, and they want your full attention. How better to rape the world of its future than to ensure we are all entranced and chanting. High Priestess Madonna at the The Superbowl, Taylor Swift and Pink initiatedat the VMAs, Nicki Minaj at The Grammy's( the pre-party incidentally raged on as Whitney's body remained upstairs)...pop music award ceremonies are blatant mass media illuminati rituals. Don't believe me? Then why are they all rammed with paganism and occult symbols? Now say it with me..."Ra ra ra ra ra...ra ra ra ra ra...ra ra ra ra ra..."
The Top 5 Illuminati Puppets:
Responsible for music that sounds like being fingered in a German nightclub, Lady Gaga is being held up as a David Bowie for the generation that doesn't know who he is. She wears massive hats, she fancies women, she is INSANE, people. Hers is an eccentricity so thoroughly naff and contrived all she needs to do is dress up as a man and the world loses its fucking mind. Exactly the point. The justification of her iconic status usually comes hot on the heels of how "regardless of your taste in music, you can't deny she puts on a great show" but this doesn't pass for music unless you're a toddler or a gay man, so what's with the world domination? Lady Gaga's videos are packed with occult symbolsbut as I'm not particularly superstitious, it's not the dark arts that bother me, it's the fact we're being duped. Being a stylist relies upon a desperate need to be admired, therefore innovation is by default compromised by precedent for the sorts who rustle up a Lady Gaga video....but if it’s a trend, who picked it? Why does every pop star in the known land pose with one eye covered, why the finger triangle, why the Masonic iconography? I tell you, she's up to all sorts, that one. Jimmy Page worshipped Satan but at least it fucking paid off. Gaga, you can rim the wild beasttil doomsday if you fancy, but don't take it out on the rest of us.
Jay-Z & Beyonce:
Their kid is called Blue Ivy. Backwards that reads Eulb Yvi. Google that in Latin if you fancy channelling your inner suburban teenager and getting good and spooked for all of three seconds. More to the point, (allegedly) the woman wasn't pregnant as is (allegedly) plain from footage of her sitting down and snapping the poor in-utero fucker in half. Add to that Jay-Z's fetish for zombie crowd-pleaserclassic The Finger Triangle and those interested in this sort of thing might see a pattern emerge. Beyonce's so busywearing the face of Baphometon her stomach and riverdancingshe forget to keep making good songs but that doesn't matter. What matters is HIS MOTHER WAS A JACKAL! Waaaa ha ha ha haa haaaa etc.
Rhianna doesn't say hello, she fists herself and slithers away on her stomach wearing the kind of rank 90s bullshit you'd punch your own mother for buying you at the age of 14. Her music is fucking terrible, the same tired iconography litters her music videos and she has gone in a few years from sexualised pop star to rabid, vapid automatonwho wears the word CUNT on a necklace. No-one's arguing, love, but whoever washed your poor brain has a grim sense of humour. Will Rhianna do a Britney and try to flee her handlers, shaving her head and breaking free for all of two weeks, or will she fall victim to pop star martyrdom. South Park’s Britney's New Lookepisode openly credits the illluminati but some pop stars refused to play ball. Amy Winehouse's oblique reference to attempts to mould her could be interpreted in many ways, the fact she uses the triangle to illustrate the kind of attempt made might just be a coincidence. Shall we ask her?
Being Katy Hudsondidn't work out so well for Katy Perry. You can't blame a girl for changing her name, her image, her career. It's only really selling your soul if you have one to begin with, and by the looks of things heaven's gutters are hardly afloat with tears over the loss of "Faith Won't Fail" from her eponymous debut album. But this raises the interesting point. Is all this speculation simply a matter of semantics? Is there some dodgy occult elementto the dark forces feeding us our entertainment and bonusing our bankers? Or are all shitty pop stars just sucking Satan's cock in the Bill Hicks sense?
Lana Del Rey:
And we're bang up to date. Lana del Rey, whose beautiful Stepford stare commands us from gigantic billboards on every high street. Her smacky nod-out drawl, dead eyes and, of course, symbol-laden pagan rebirthing video all suggest a recent appointment to the puppet show - indeed, Del Rey recently tried to perform live on SNL and failed quite, quite phenomenally. But that doesn’t matter. She's the perfect pop star for right now. Empty, self-reflexive, reborn. As with Perry, she used to have another name, another look and a failing career before plastic surgery and, well fuck it, the illuminati figured she'd make great trance fodder for us fucking morons. So here we are.
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