Eight Very Specific Things That Make Me Feel Christmassy

Anyone else for Bernard and the Genie?
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Anyone else for Bernard and the Genie?
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Writing a Christmas song was hard. Really hard. I wanted my Christmas song to sound upbeat, and most importantly ‘Christmassy’, but I also didn’t want to fall into old clichés. Many bands of my ilk end up writing an ‘alternative’ Christmas song – which usually means ‘depressing’, I didn’t want to do that either.

In the end, I went ultra-specific to my Christmas experiences, good and bad. ‘Santa Says Relax’ is about the unlikely things that make me feel Christmassy. It’s a song about contemplating suicide while shopping in Westfield, watching Die Hard, buying unsuitable presents for my family, and remembering better years gone by – but, you know… upbeat. 

With the themes of the song in mind, here's eight more things that make me feel Christmassy.


My Parents Drinking Liquor That’s Been In The Cabinet Since Before I Was Born

It’s surprising they can get so hammered, considering how I drank most of it when I was 16… and then refilled the bottles with water. Watching your parents get drunk is one of the real true pleasures of Christmas, enjoy.

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Adults Fighting Over Toys

Christmas can bring out the best and worst of humanity, and is possibly the only time of year people will start fights over things they don’t own. When I see people fighting over anything from discounted TVs to the last copy of ‘Frozen’ on Blu-Ray, it makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

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Going Up Into The Loft

That’s where the Christmas decorations are, so when I go home for Christmas I always end up poking around at all the stuff up there. Every year I find my old Game Boy, and end up playing Pokemon Red for hours. Now that’s Christmas.

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Christmas Gigs

This one is just an excuse to plug our Christmas gig tbf. It’s on the 8th December at St Luke’s Church in Holloway, with Hattie Whitehead. You should come. Tickets and info available here.

Bernard and the Genie

My family recorded this forgotten BBC TV film on VHS in 1991, and it goes on every Christmas. It was written by Richard Curtis and starred Lenny Henry, Alan Cumming and Rowan Atkinson. The only way you can get hold of it these days is by purchasing a pirate copy on DVD, or watching it on YouTube… as it’s a wee bit racist. Incredibly Christmassy though.

Avoiding Crawley Town Centre

I grew up in Crawley, and when I go home for Christmas, avoiding the town centre and especially ‘County Mall’ is one of my most cherished past times. Imagine if I had to stop and chat with someone I went to school with and hadn’t seen for ten years? That’d suck.

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Visiting Crawley Addresses With The Most Ridiculous Christmas Lights

When my mum says “that house in Tilgate has put their lights up, shall we go have a look?” You say “YES”.

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Anxiety

There’s nothing quite so Chistmassy as anxiety. That feeling you get when you realise how much you’re spending, or when you leave it too late to get presents for everyone. The thought ‘I should’ve done this on Amazon weeks ago’ makes me feel INCREDIBLY Christmassy. Buying presents is hard.

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