"Because that’s basically what V festival is, a confused fashion parade for pricks."

Spot on!

went to global gathering a few weeks ago...no particularly 'hostile' atmosphere...but nothing like the raves / festivals i've been attending since the late 80's / early 90's. there was something missing and all of us who went are strugglin to explain what it was..it just seemed very flat...no excitement...no real atmosphere...most of the crowd didnt seem to have any idea how to really 'have it'....and some of the music played was laughable pop shite that 75% of the crowd lapped up... sad to say but i think that whole scene is pretty much dead these days.

Harsh words - but I was there on Saturday (I took some teenage girls) and I have to agree. Watching Arctic Monkeys, there were LOADS of morons chucking full pints of liquid over anyone and everything; one of my pet hates. It was massively over full: just of sea of people swirling from one spot to another. Soul-less and joyless (the teenagers quite enjoyed it though)

Having been at the festival this year, you are talking about a very small minority. There was no general anger in anyone's direction, though of course things were thrown, but that is true of any festival in the world (well at least the UK). I met countless randoms who were always friendly and willing to share their stories, alcohol, drugs, water, urine, food or whatever else! Although festivals may be two a penny (At Big Chill around 40% of tickets went unsold), V consistently sells out early doors and has the biggest and best (mainstream) acts. Perhaps you should try Reading / Leeds instead? I wouldn't be surprised if there was alot of trouble there after recent events. Least you would then be writing about real events, rather than trying to be the cool journo by slagging off V like everyone else. All festivals have their problems, but V still has less than most.

Surely you know what you're getting when you go to V or Global. The majority of the acts are commercial and so you're gonna get a crowd that resembles that ... middle of the road mongaloids. Stuff like Sonar, Melt, End Of The Road and The Big Chill still have a great vibe cos the music on show isn't so mainstream and in turn pulling a more varied and larger cross section of music fan .. not just the "average cunt" if you will.

I accidentally went to V once. From the security to the camp site to the beer tents to the line-up to the punters it was exactly the type of 'music' festival that the nazis would have organised to celebrate their successful invasion of Britain.

I hardly think you can call the festival scene dead after going to vfest; it'd be like declaring literature finished after reading a book by Jordan

I didn't go n really wanted to go but after Reading that I was glad to have stayed at home and except I'm just too old for V fest haha although iv gone to quite a few n always had a good time even with a large amount of C*nts there ;)

Bit of a sweeping statement based on a few idiots, and idiots get everywhere. The people around me at Morcheeba, Mummers, Gomez, Bellowhead, etc certainly weren't "absolute cunts" and Calvin Harris had a lovely feeling going in the tent(Chelmsford). I even got dragged by the missus to 20 yards from the front for Rhiannas set - and whilst as sardine-esqe as you'd expect, everyone around seemed genuinely thrilled and somewhat full of joy. Even listening to that sonic garbage. Its never going to be a Latitude in terms of community and vibe granted - but it doesnt prentend to be. You may have seen more than a few idiots, and they somewhat obviously spoiled your enjoyment, but implying everyone else there apart from yourself was a non-music loving cunt is inaccurate.

i was djing there in the juke joint which was almost prick free ...- i saw a link to this on a mates facebook page - this article nails it completely - nothing but roid fuelled aggression that shows that TV shows like the only way is essex big brother and all of the bbc3 output and mindless dumbing of the country and topshopization has had an effect on society where people just do not give a fuck about anyone - the whole festival made me really DEPRESSED for humanity but mostly the youth of the UK or the suburbs of london ... at arctic monkeys ... piss projectiles ... at rhianna - boyfriends rowing with the girlfriends ... at primal scream ... pilled up idiots starting on people ... if i had paid to be at that NIGHTMARE of a festival i would be really angry ... well done on a great article ....why cant they make v a bit more friendly with some nice places for people to gather ...instead of ramming the sponsorship everywhere and providing no nice food or decent drinks .... i serriously think the attack on the senses the equivalent to a shopping mall engenders this hatred as the punters are mugged for £160 ( then £15 for parking ) or £5 to get a shuttle bus ... and then £4.20 for warm shit lager or a tiny bottle of fucking rose ...

Big Chill was also shit this year cos twat face melvin benn wanted to divide up the tickets get people buying one day and try and coin it and put on dross like jessie j and Kanye ( not the saviour of hip hop last time i checked ...) fuck big and trying to be bigger festivals ...!

So essentially you're just being stuck up that it didn't live up to your high standards? Im sure V festival is sorry it didn't have a butler for you. You knew what you were paying for, other people have to put up with it and it is a VERY small minority that do what you write about. I've been numerous times and 99% of people there were lovely people. Of course there's going to be pricks there, there's pricks everywhere, just man up and deal with it

"Its never going to be a Latitude in terms of community and vibe granted" You have clearly never been to Latitude

great article. V fest is a pop party for chavs who want a weekend away from Mummy and Daddy

Harvey - did you actually speak to or interact with 99% of the people at V? Course not, so stop talking shit. V is full of cunts, a fact widely known and accepted. I stopped going to UK festivals early 2000 and haven't looked back. Benicassim, Sonar, etc offer much better value for money and are so much more fun because they are not full of English knobjockeys trying to out cunt each other. Unfortunately, like the plague, the chav brigade is spreading and even at Benni I did notice a rise in the number of dregs to society rose dramatically - but overall it is still way way less full of these cunts than you will ever find at V or similar. That said, anyone who pays £160 for a day out in Chelmsford is a bit of a wanker if you ask me! ; )

My Local chavvy pub is full of knackered chavs returning from V this week talking about the Debauchery that went on , that to me just sounded like mindless violence. I heard one guy talking bout how he punched some dude in the face for spilling his pint on his shoes! every festival i have ever been too since the early 90's its been an amazing atmosphere but then again they were metal festivals with bands i would be happy to stand in the rain and listen too... put Rhianna on my telly and ill walk out the room

Couldn't have put it better myself. 100% spot on.

I have Dan. On 5 occasions. So your statement that I havent been to Latitude is incorrect. I forgive you though.

Says the man in the topshop denim shirt...although I tend to agree. I used to go to V every year, until it turned into some kind of shitty pill popping festival. Green Man is where its at, although, keep it on the down low and keep the dickheads out yeah?

i was with you until 'the king of hip-hop Eminem'

I am saddened to say that I never experienced a UK music festival, have attended Dance Valley in NL and Sziget in HU - both were good experiences - but how this was written, kinda sums up my feeling towards not going to UK festivals... seeing my mates going, just to use the opportunity to get a bit more fucked up than they do down the pub, didn't interest me really... Raving/Clubbing scene suffered the same hit but sooner... in fairness, when I was raving, compared to now and the last 5/8 years - there was a hell of a lot more ecstasy on the scene, that I swear added to the atmosphere...

It was my first music festival, I will never go to another. I was filming and had the displeasure of attracting swarms of TopShop zombies towards the lens. The main insult was usually a guttural noise, similar to that of an ape, but one particularly high brow individual decided to aggressively scream "BBC, BBC, BBC" into my face for 30 seconds. It probably won't surprise you to learn that we weren't filming for the BBC.

At the end of the day what did you expect? It's the genre of music that attracts those kinds of people. As download and sonisphere attract the more "hardcore/mosher types" it's just like a chav going to one of those festivals and saying "this festival is an awful gathering of sweaty grungy mosher c**ts" as you referred to those at V as. There are dickheads where ever you go unfortunately and even the proper hippy festivals sometimes unfortunately attract a bad crowd. I wouldn't say it's just the "chavs" creating a bad atmosphere at V, but just people who do cause trouble. I actually met a lot of friendly "chavs" at my time at V and don't think this is a very justifiable review as you haven't quite taken in to consideration the target audience of the artists on the line up. A lot of the artists on the line up's individual gigs would be full of the same sort of people. So I really don't know what you were expecting at V and in future maybe you should stick to what you know you like rather than criticizing the things you don't, you may be a bit happier then! And there isn't a specific type of person that should be at a festival, there are different types of festivals to cater to different types of people, hence the huge rise in the amount of festivals, they cant all be the same or they wouldn't work. At the end of the day V does exactly what it says it will and it does sell out instantaneously every year so fair play to the organisers if you ask me, for example taking reading and leeds into account - I don't think have even sold out yet! (which I wouldn't recommend to a cynic like you as they are also "chavvy") So very well done to V - they are a successful COMMERCIAL festival. Exactly what they wanted to be.

Yeah but my mate Lucy looked good. Despite not being quite as fit as number 8

Spot on review, although i wasn't there this year. I've only been to the Cha-V Festival once before and never again. Since 1985 i have attended over 150 festivals. The only time i had bother was here at the Cha-V Fest when some twat threatened to stab me with his cronies as back up. My crime?....I was trying to walk out of the crowd towards the toilets.. The reviewer said it perfectly .Everyone bloke there is a cunt and the Sharon & Traceys who attend just want to be hip like Kate Moss for the weekend in their new wellies and go home and say ''Ooh yar, i went to a festival''....Complete pillocks..... I'm glad the festivals i attend and not trendynized by Radio 1, Capital Radio or the likes...Glastonbury has gone down the same route too....After going to the Cha-v fest i finally find out who exactly who these people are who watch Big Brother, X-Factor and buy Hello magazine. ....Full of no lifers.

All about Secret Garden Party! Not full of people trying to 'out cunt' eachother! Wicked VIBE

festivals are being run this way because the people who run them havnt got a clue ,its just about money thats it,yes there are more idiots at v fest they dont know any different..being able to say i first went to glastonbury in 1980 and have worked at festivals until know,our society is so different..if you can find a small friendly event you will still have a great time and meet realy nice people,just do your home work

Ben - The Secret Garden Party is without doubt the most cunt-infested place I have ever had the misfortune to witness. I went, I think, in 2005 and it was good (i.e nobody was there as all the cunts were at Glastonbury). I went again the next year, when Glastonbury did not happen, and it was teeming with double-barrelled, coke-ridden, gap year Tory cunts from Surrey who thought they were call. Plus the organisation was an utter shambles as the local residents were complaining about the late finish on the first night. Utter cuntishness.

I'm just a little bit amazed that anybody disagreed with this article. I thought it was pretty widely accepted that V Festival is full of nobbers whose musical knowledge is the Radio One playlist. Still, each to their own, innit? Can't say the idea of a weekend there appeals to me, but they'd probably (hopefully) say the same about half the gigs I go to...

Go to Beautiful Days in Exeter. Just got back - went their on my own and had an amazing time. Sells out every year and they don't even advertise it!!! Did you really expect anything different from V???

your own fault for going to V.

Had you gone to the Green Man Festival last weekend instead I can guarantee you'd have come back with a far more positive view of Festivals.

Try Electric Picnic over here in Ireland in 2 weeks. It's one of those boutigue festivals where everyone is pretty much stoned from Friday through to Sunday so there's very little energy put into starting fights with randomers. Come on over, Interpol and Pulp are playing at it too this year, it's gonna be rock

I used to go to V Festival in the early 2000's and at that point it was a tame but likeable weekend of pretty good music. The vibe was not threatening at all and there was that cameraderie that we all love( Ian Brown playing a Stone Roses mini set comes to mind, the whole place went ape shit...together!). However, the last time I went, which was about 4 years ago, something had changed, the air was different somehow,and through that air came a semi full beer can straight onto the windscreen of our car, which we hadn't even got out of yet! Yep, things had changed alright! Jordan's review doesn't really surprise me, it was like a fat rain cloud just aching to burst. If only that cloud was full of rain and not the perma-tan twats that V attracts these days, that cameraderie might come back.

I can't really agree with Stuart below that you get these problems at all festivals. I've been touring the festivals this year and have experienced a lovely safe vibe at Sunrise, Secret Garden Party, Larmer Tree, Womad, Greenman and I'm sure that Shambala will be the same this weekend. I was at VFest aswell and my fears were well placed, it was like Magaluf in a field, I witnessed 3 people throwing up in front of me, 2 fights, 4 bottles of p*ss being thrown into crowds of kids... I also saw a few parents with young kids looking more than a bit worried by the whole spectacle. I'm only glad that VFest caters for these kinds of people so they won't destroy the positive experience at other festivals.

I partly agree and disagree. V I would never venture to as I always hear stories of the audience bottling or booing bands off for no good reason - I'm not fan of Glasvegas but there was no need to bottle them off just because they were sandwiched between 2 large pop acts (this also happened to Shaun Ryder when people thought Peter Andre would come on, funny that if it was this year they would've lapped him up after his appearance on I'm a Celebrity shit and also Doves have had trouble there who are one of my fave bands and don't ask for trouble and are very down to earth) and any audience that does that with no justification is scum in my eyes. Going off appearances is wrong though and we're all susceptible to being judgmental, if they're behaving badly yes fine. For example I saw a group of 7 people on the Sunday at Glastonbury this year, 4 girls, 3 boys, all in their 20s, I'd suspect their first festival and they'd jumped on the bandwagon, all orange etc. and I could've easily been prejudice but as long as they're having a good time and behaving well it's OK. I will never go to Reading again from the scenes on the Sunday night and the general behaviour of some people across the weekend as much as the line-up will tempt me, just utter scum and honestly the riots are PATHETIC, smashing up gazebos and throwing tents in river or setting them on fire, do people honestly go to festivals to ruin other people's time?

What + you are writing for the man who brought us loaded magazine .. Now that was for CHAVS !!!

You should try Tomorrowland out in Belgium! Its mainly EDM music but I have never seen anything like it in my life. Imagine Alton Towers but with music tents instead of rides, I'm pretty much done festivaling in England after being here.

Yes, the V Festival, as you so eloquently describe it, is a place filled with 'absolute cunts'. I've been three times. Two times too many. The first V Festival I went to was the one in Weston Park and that wasn't too bad (apart from the guy who showed me his fists when I looked at him in the wrong way). Honestly, if I wanted to mix with chavscum I'd move to Kidbrooke.

One of the problems is they're not about music anymore. Not for the organisers or the punters. People buy tickets regardless of whose playing and then get bored if they don't like the acts. also there are a lot of cunts about and festivals used to be a place to get away from them but now they have started going too. Cest la vie.

if you think festivals are dead you wanna get yourself to a proper festival. i have been to eight this year and all in there own way have been awesome. try glade, boomtown fair, secret garden,shambala, all absolutly magical.

I don't think you've stressed a fundamental point. Since when was it appropriate to have a "festival outfit"? I also note that this article is written by a guy who i think is wearing wayfarers (i don't do fashion) in the pic and no doubt is also currently sporting tight jeans a vest and has a stack of "wolf tees" indoors. Just as V festival goers have to be wearing hunter boots since they become "fashion" you have chosen a similar albeit alternative route. I agree totally with your article and for the reasons you mention above i have never been nor will ever go to V. But have you ever considered that the problem is with the scene, any scene. Vacuous middle class cunts like yourself have ruined many things for other people, people like me. I'll never go Reading or Leeds because of the Russell Brand look a likes with designer alternative fashion and straightened hair missing the irony of "head banging" to 30 seconds to mars or enter shakari and do i need to mention stadium rock band my chemical romance? Maybe you should go and check if your fixie is still D locked to the nearest lamp post in E1. Because you and your cronies, my friend, make me feel the same way about the things i like to do that are now inundated with hipsters. Still, good article.

@Theprowlerwins I agree whole heartedly, here here.

A group of young people in a field having a good time, not my scene. If you don't like V festival don't go, save your money and go to a different festival there's plenty to choose from. I don't like V fest myself thats why i choose not to go but don't knock people for having a good time.Do parents really think its appropriate to take their kids to a field with 100000 other people, there's plenty of festivals that are family orientated. Music is all about opionions don't try and force yours upon us.

i really hate it when i go to a festival and the falafel is shit... good post though

i go to v festival because it's local, but this sums it up! the worst part is, so many people i know who love going to v festival say they go for a 'festival atmosphere'... there's no atmosphere, just the paranoid feeling that a chav is going to throw something at you simply for actually enjoying the music.

I come from Chelmsford. These people, believe it or not, exist all year round. V is just their weekend out in a field to a Hollyoaks compilation CD soundtrack. A festival run by greedy cunts for orange cunts to listen to mostly cuntish music (I counted 3 good bands and a rapper in total this year).

Cunts go to festivals? Not exactly news, is it. It's more surprising that cunts who think it's OK to call people 'chavs' are allowed space in ST. Bad form. Very bad.

I come from Stafford (in spitting distance of Weston Park) and concur with Chris. You provided a perfect description not just of V festival but Stafford Town Centre on a Saturday night. Shitfest for folk from shitholes. Depressing as it is to accept they exist, at least someone coralled them into the same place for a day or two and spared everyone else.

Thats why Mr Virgin Branson is building a rocket ship!To get the fuck away from it all. Good read funny. Good comments.

Apparently Jimmy Bullard was spotted at V drinking Bacardi Breezers. Says it all.

I don't go to festivals. I stay at home. Then I only have to deal with 1 cunt. Me.

I have worked at V for many Years. The main aim is to screw as much money out of you as possible. They don't give a F**k about the money or the music. It is a Festival for stupid people with too much money.

It should read Ihave worked at V for many Years. The main aim is to screw as much money out of you as possible. They don't give a F**k about the People or the music. It is a Festival for stupid people with too much money.

Speaking of cunts, the last festival I went to was Creamfields 2006, where the police seemed to outnumber punters 2/1. Prodigy were great though. Bring back free parties/ raves I think but it won't happen because now it's all about the $.

If you think that V was bad, you've seen fuck all until you've been to T in the Park. Rammed full Old Firm fans on their usual diet of Buckfast & Valium, bland tunes, shit food, and an extremely violent campsite.....it really is the fucking pits. Never seen so many folk get glassed before.

This is a shambolic, poorly written article by possibly the biggest cunt of all at V Fest. If the 'chav' bashing language in this article was used against any other social group (ethnic minorities, women, gays etc) you'd find yourself vilified by your readership. But hey, kicking the working classes is cool isn't it, after all in Cameron's Britain there's no excuse for being a 'chav'is there, they only have themselves to blame, right? I was at V, I'm glad I didn't have to spend any time with Jordan Waller. What a prick.

Stop whining about the use of the word "chav" and grow a pair. Chavs are defined not by their skin colour, or their sex, or their sexuality. They are defined by their behaviour. And their behaviour is cuntish. And they should all be wiped out, though they seem to be doing a good job of that themselves. I run music events and I make sure the Stella swilling wankers who think they're entitled to act like pond scum are ejected and banned. And as for chavs being "working class", don't make me laugh.

An article written by a man after overdosing on Charlie Brooker pills.

It would have been great to see Jordan at a punk gig (maybe) SHAM 69 back in the day !!Then he would have seen some real bad behaviour/action from the CHAVS (sic)

Just to point out Chelmsford is a predominantly middle class town full of bank workers who think they know London when in fact all they know is Liverpool Street station and parts of Hoxton. Last time I went to V I got punched in the ribs by some fat cunt who wanted to get to the bar first. In the 90s and early 2000s it was a different story. Now its wall to wall cunts

VFestival was amazing, my first time and i absolutely loved it.. I'm more of a raver going to all night rave festivals or something like creamfields or global gathering, but this year decided to try something new to keep the missus happy. We all had an amazing time and everyone we met was polite and friendly. We did see the odd cunt throwing cups containing piss, alcohol or sick and i was disappointed by this, i honestly wasn't expecting it.. but there wasnt much else and it hardly warrants boycotting these types of festivals. You are wearing blinkers if you think this is related to festivals... i've been out all over the country and see it every weekend. As it turns out the most non-chav places i have been too appear to be the worst. 99% of the trouble i've whitened at fests and events has beeen caused by scousers.. put them out of your head and enjoy yourself :)

If you want to go to a real festival go to Burning Man!!!

I stopped going to V Festival about 5 years ago for this very reason. It's Top of the Pops in a field and full to bursting with absolute scumbag chavvy twats and their tramp stamp girlfriends. Reading Festival is a REAL music festival and doesn't have the bad attitudes and wannabe music fans that you get here. V festival is mainstream cack, overcrowded and I wish it would now die a painful death.

I've never been so I can't fully judge. But I've never been because it did always seem like "The music festival for people that don't actually like music but still want to say that they've been to a music festival." Which isn't really my thing.

AV the V fest has always been like a joke it is about money not music but to call the people who go cunts? ... just makes the writer a creep I mean he is not much of a writer if all he can do is take the piss out of people he feels he is so better then. If you read it twice you will see the writer and not the V or the cunts are the ( n in the wood pile) it is the writer who feels he is some sort of God a better human then the rest ... like most of the sheep who have posted because they go to real gigs and know what real music is ... so the question is ... who are the real c...u...1..ts? Most of the above ... take your dicks out of your own mouths ... wankers! thats from the 70s like quo and Slade and Bowie you cunts!

There's only one thing worse than V: The Tesco in Chelmsford that gets raped by festival goers. That's why, this year I made a point of being very very far away.

I enjoyed reading the comments as much, if not more, than the article itself. An enjoyable read. And, unlike 90% of the plonkers above, I obviously don't presume you meant every single person at V was a cunt, just the majority... I'm avoiding Carnival this weekend for the first year in 10 years for exactly the same reason. It is simply too little fun for too much hostility. Festivals aren't doomed though. Music lovers will keep discovering and starting new festivals to escape the gradual invasion of the Good Timers who, in turn, are simple trying to avoid the Drones. Circle of life, innit blut!

@Stuart - I am not surprised 40% of tickets at Big Chill went unsold this year: 2 years ago I went to see Orbital and it was a lovely festival, family friendly, it wasn't too overpriced, facilities were good, great ethos. Last I also went (same group of friends - some single, some married, some with kids in tow) and it was a bag of crap. It has been taken over by Festival Republic and it was dreadful, plus they sold teen tickets. Essentially these were reduced price tickets for teens who were supposed to be accompanied by adults, but they weren't. They just blagged in then formed huge groups and went around pissing and vomiting everywhere, being noisy, littering, graffitiing performance tents and leaving a huge mess. Prices shot up, security were total goons and the recycling ethos was given no more than lip service. It totally alienated the main target audience, i.e. late 20 or 30-somethings, many with kids in tow who enjoy discovering new music. None of us went this year because of that. That's a group of something like 20 adults and kids and we were not alone in being turned off by that festival. This year we variously went to Camp Bestival or smaller festivals not run by the large corporations like Festival Republic (I went to a lovely small festival in Lancs and had a great time). With regards to V, I am not surprised at the reviewers feelings. Essex, whilst a lovely county, has a very large number of total twats in it and a lineup like that is inevitably going to attract the twatty end of the spectrum.

I think people are getting the wrong end of the stick here by reading what they want instead of what is actually written. Jordan didn't put every single person at V was a cunt, what he is basically suggesting is there is a far higher concentration of cunts than the majority of other festivals. The atmosphere and what he witnessed is all he has to go on, and seeing as I've gone before... I'd agree. Even back in 2003 when I went to V people were punching each other clear in the face just for accidental spillage of a pint, I swore after the last one I'd never go back. 8 years on and I can fully believe that things have got far worse. More recently I've been to festivals such as Sonisphere, Download and Bloodstock. Sonisphere and Download have the more commercial aspect, more teens and the lack of atmosphere and friendlyness, but Bloodstock festival is "by the fans, for the fans" and I can say was amongst the friendliest festival I've ever had the pleasure of going to. Metalheads might be tarred with an unfortunate brush and although you get cunts in any cross section of society... I've found you find far less within circles of the alternate crowd. It's pretty obvious the people described in the article that care only for looks, fighting, drinking and commercial pop are pretty much the bottom rung of the intellectual scale... and act accordingly.

I had the mis-fortune to go to V a few years ago- like yourself my gigging experiences prior to this had been years ago at Reading and countless sweaty walled bars in london. V was a shock i will never forget, exactly as you described the comeradery was tangibly absent and i found the entire experience painful. I ended my weekend feeling totally deflated at how something i used to love doing was now so hideous. Then i remembered i was a V, commercial central where permatan's and snobbery were king. I will never go back and am happy to go to the gigs with my small little bands in dirty bars that have sweaty walls. Certainly better that struggling through a crowd of arseholes like that.

general rules for festivals: If its over 12000 people, it's too big, if the headliners are in the charts it's too full, if it is known nationally it is too security ridden. Hidden gems of festivals: Beatherder, Boomtown and the slightly more established shambala and secret garden party

What high hopes did you seriously have for a festival owned by virgin? Of course its guna be overly commercial and full of mainstream people, which happens to currently be wag-attempts. but as for those going to simply tick festival off your bucket list ..you might wana look at glastonbury for that.

Subtext - c*nt who looks like a c*nt hates other c*nts. And this from someone who's wearing sunglasses in their profile pic? In 20 years time you'll be writing for the Daily Mail and cite Jeremy Clarkson as a late inspiration. Since the early 2000's, morons like you have turned East London into one big twat soup, ruining anything that used to be truly alternative about the area. But hey, don't worry about that, you can still reinforce your arbitrary notion of cool and any sense of cultural inadequacy by differentiating yourself from other people with pap like this. You may think that you're at the top of some cultural food chain, but you're simply someone else's V festival goer. Festival culture in the UK stemmed from free parties, where you'd most likely be spat at and told to leave.

theprowlerwins - very well said! Also a well written article, I thought.

A well writte, yet extremely snobby article, with even snobbier comments. The fact you use the word chav just show show out of touch with society you are. Just because it wasn't full of people wearing 80s glasses and jeans that are far to tight for them, doesn't mean that it is a festival full of cunts. Oh, and by the way, I wasn't there before you ask, and I thought it looked shit on telly, but couldn't help speaking up about your obvious desire to write a fancy article just to stress how indie you are.

Thats total rubbish, the entire article. I was at V this year and last, and yes, whilst there are a lot of chavs (...its in Essex and Essex residents get to buy tickets before any one else... hello?) its a great festival, much more family orientated that Reading (the only other festival i have done). I actually saw a couple with a pram this weekend; thats how family orientated it can be. The line up speaks for itself; if you dont like primarily mainstream and pop music, then dont go! But in amongst pop music, I managed to see Lostprophets, You Me at Six and Chase and Status this weekend...

Based on the photo of the author attached, i'd have thought he'd fit right in. Public school, yah?

haha he's from Doncaster

I fucking hate camping. Personally I blame the highstreet for making rock ‘n’ roll imagery so readily available that anyone with pocket money can wear the right threads with a faux swagger and pretend to like music. But this i disagree with, i thought we were talking about V festival, not a proper rock and metal festival. The reason you look like a little skinny indie prick, is because topman and river island makes it readily available to you. So next time, id think before you make a statement like this, maybe dont put photos of yourself up. Because to be fair, you just look like everyone else.

V commercial pop party is what it should be called, lame excuse for a festival. check out the link....these views from people who went. http://www.efestivals.co.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=166374 says it all. but to be fair I hope it continues as I dont want these cretins jumpin on and running other festivals. they can have this one

"a confused fashion parade for pricks." Slightly ironic when you're pictured here in this summer's unofficial men's uniform from the top; 194o's slick backed hair, quasi-Ray-ban 'shades', chambray shirt worn over a white singlet and knee length jeans, let me guess the footwear? docksiders? boating pumps? As for the main thrust of the article what a lazy piece another self important journalist branding people he doesn't approve of as 'chavs'

HERO!

What a shame. I went to V96 - a proper good old brit-pop festival with Pulp as headliners... Admittedly I was only 15 at the time, so the lack of traditional festival atomsphere probably would have washed over me, but my overall experience at the festival was brilliant. Perhaps not particularly hardcore, but perfect for the indie-loving yoofs of the time. I did actually go to V97, 98, 99 and 2001 too, noticing a slight increase in the commercial-ness of the festival, but nothing this bad. I saw the line-up for this year and cringed. Olly f-in Murs???! Total waste for something that started out as a really good idea

sounds like any concert in america. i guess you should blame us.

Great review! You have just said pinpointed everything that I said about V-Festival last year. I still get angry about it. There hasn't been another festival I have been so angry about after attending. I was appalled the most when the crowd started throwing bottles at the Doves and the singer walked off stage. It definitely made me very sad to see someone being abused while performing. You couldn't pay me to attend this festival again.

This has made my day, I completely agree with everything you said. Chavs are killing music, and it's actually very sad

I was at V in Chelmsford and I agree with some of your comments not all of them though. The amount of girls with their shorts half way up their arse so you could see bum cheek and terrible cellulite was foul, made me feel sick. Their sprayed on tans made them look like cartoon characters and their fake eye lashes made them look permanently stoned. Me and my group of friends are from Berkshire so we were well dressed in our 3/4 shorts, long vests, trilbys and ray bans and hunter wellies. We made sure we covered up, polite to people and generally friendly. Our tents were surrounded by 16 year old pissed up essex kids who really needed adult supervision. Watching Kaiser Chiefs I got cups of beer thrown over my head for no reason, people just seemed to generally like throwing liquid whenever they fancied. I'm a very short person and during Rihannah where I was quite close to the front I could not see a damn thing, my boyfriend offered to put me on his shoulders so I could get a better look but I was too scared of getting things thrown at me that I missed pretty much all of her show which I was really down about (this being my first ever festival experience) I would like to go again but at least next time I'll know what I'm expecting.

Jordan, if you need your faith in British festivals restoring head over to Bloodstock next year. It's smaller than the likes of Download (around 12k attending versus around 100k) but the atmosphere is much friendlier.

"Me and my group of friends are from Berkshire so we were well dressed in our 3/4 shorts, long vests, trilbys and ray bans and hunter wellies" Ah the irony.

Why don't you go back to your festivals with bands you'll never see again and save yourself writing awful articles like this. And Kirst, "chavs are killing music" - I don't know where to begin. You sound thicker than any chav I have ever come across.

To quote you "Having spent the last few years only going to see bands deemed cool or ‘on-the-up,’" and yet you accuse the people at v festival of being sheep and not knowing what good music is?? At least these people chose to go view these artists rather than going because someone deems them cool??

lol- entertaining piece (well, probably because I wasn't there to endure that). Meanwhile my flatmate was there and apparently had piss bottles thrown at her... grose...

As a musician I can quite safely say this is the most honest portrayal of V I have ever read. Well done! Don't be offended by the prose, if you feel offended to take a good look at yourself and think "Am I one of those?". If you're not then perhaps it's time you started looking beyond what the mainstream is giving you... there's more out there then you are being forcefed :) x

Went to V a few years ago. Never again. The theft level alone was enough to never go back.

LOVE this article, its like i wrote it myself. But silence may be best in the case of V, otherwise the dick heads may start spreading to the many many other festivals that still know the true meaning of them. I went to 3 this year (none with advertising boards on site) and they were all spot on. Happy festival days

What a load of cock the festival had a bit of everything and I feel insulted that your bad attitude means your directly calling me a cunt FUCK OFF and I am a full on punk / metal freak so if you think this is a "CHAV" think again dick

This strikes me as an especially nasty piece of 'yellow' journalism. It is overtly sensationalist and often downright cruel. Referring to people as 'absolute cunts' with meagre justification is completely unforgivable in any journalistic piece no matter what the justification; which, in this article is fundamentally weak. You make it your business to mock low-brow blog entries but in essence this is exactly what this is. I attended V this year and I indeed found it to be of a lower calibre than when I last attended two years ago, though this had little or nothing to do with the festival-goers themselves, it was more to do with the high volume of 'fill-in' acts drafted in to support the commercial headliners, so if you were criticise the festival for this then I would have to agree, but you are not, you are, instead being overtly distainful towards people who have come to enjoy a festival who because they may not be as educated as you are, though on the basis of this article my guess is not particularly, you callously brand as 'chavs'. My suggestion is if you don't like commercial music then do what you had been doing, stay away. I myself am from Essex and I ask you now, do I sound like a chav? I rest my case.

@bob: I'm glad the angry plonkers like you go to V and not to some of the other, better, festivals. Keep up the good work!

I camped at v for first time and couldn't sleep on the first night due to noisy louts at 2am and people that were pissing on the grass around my tent rather than walk 100 yards to a toilet. Sat was a better night as no doubt these knobs were passed out by around 10pm. Furthermore inside I lost count of the number of people peeing into cups and launching them, one wonders what would they do to you if you did the same to them. I've been to many V before and this was one of the best v lineups ever tarnished by a relatively small number of knobs I definitely won't be camping again

I spent the whole weekend at V festival and loved it! Now if you go and stand in the croud to watch people like the saturdays, example, calvin harris, plan b ect you are going to be standing next to alot of cunts who know nothing about music aren't you? Why are you so worried about all these "chavs" and what there doing. Your too busy looking around you trying to categorise everyone to have any fun and enjoy yourself. Personally i went to V festival to watch imelda may, the courteeners, the enemy, arctic monkeys and im not the biggest fan of eminem but he put on an amazing show. I met some cool people saw some awesome bands and had an amazing time and will be returning next year.

Jordan Waller who are you??

stop whining jesus ..its britain 2011 you shower of morons! this is the country you have made and continue to make with your fat laden big brother watching slobs. stop critising ..its youre own fault and thats why the world hates the Brits.

I'm failing to understand the logic because these people are just a part of society... it's not uncommon to walk into a bar, bump into someone and be smacked in the face, the amount of trouble you see in bars and clubs (regardless of crowd, genre of music etc..) far over shadows the chavs at v. if you felt intimidated maybe it's because you spent most of your time watching what they were doing rather than trying to enjoy yourself. I HATED seeing people throw drinks and pee into the crowd, and groups of pricks thinking they are massive... but am i bothered? the way i see it is you deal with a situation when it comes around, then it more than likely wont. but if your standing around looking like u want some attention off chavs then you have more chance of getting it. You can't even walk down the street these days without the risk of someone being a prick or wanting to fight. A lot of the comments are pathetic, complaining about late night noise, peeing besides tents etc.. if this bothers u then why even go? i was peeing round tents (with everyone else) because when your drinking all day and night it's impossible to go and stand in long queue's when u only want a tinkle... there were times i wanted to sleep and noise was still going.. it's something i put up with because it's what i expected.. people pay a lot of money to stay up all weekend and party.

You've just vocalized what I couldn't put my finger on. I've been going since it started and 2 years ago have an uneasy feeling it was changing, missed last year and loathed this year. It was terry bell!!! I actually went to Kendal Calling too this year which was charming quirky very chilled and full of undiscovered musical gems. Reminded me how it used to be. Bye bye V it was once fun but as you so eloquently put, it's full of cunts

The most apt and eloquent use of the word "cunts" I've seen in ages. Bravo. Festivals getting a bit tired really - even Secret Garden Party, which to be fair is a vast improvement on all this bollocks is basically, as my friend put it the other day, "a bunch of posh kids trying to out weird each other."

i went to my last one 2 years ago too. That could`ve been wrote then & the year before. Full of whoppers & comlete & utter bellends,the majority wouldn`t know what decent music is.

@Micky - You are exactly the disgusting kind of person that is refered to in the article and by me in my previous comment. You freely admit that to you it's ok to piss around someones tent because its only a pee and afterall, you have been drinking all day! Its illegal to pee in a public place and had you had bothered to have gone near a toilet you would have seen that the were no queues as the men had urinals you cock.How would you feel if somebody peed on your bedroom carpet next to your head as you slept in your bed because effectively thats what you did.

There are three kinds of people in this world; chavs and twats. It seems that nobody will admit which of the two they are, but that most of them have met on this page to talk bollocks. The third kind? That's just me; a mixture of both but with the self awareness to know it and the humility to admit it. Get a grip, you absolute shower of twats.

@JASON dude i'm just being realistic, it happens.. i could hear people peeing near my tent all weekend on a night time, i didnt get no smell and it was no problem what so ever, we're all at a festival and people rough it, get over it... we pee'd around our tents, not everyone elses tent. I also didn't say it was OK i just said it's what everyone was doing.. lol @ illegal, people have copious amounts of substances at these venue's and you think they give a shit about peeing in public?

Couldnt agree more heres what I wrote a few years ago about the same festival oh sorry I mean overbranded rock gig with camping http://mikeyray.blogspot.com/2006/09/and-another-thing.html

This is spot on. Anyone who thinks otherwise is either one of those chavs or just a jumped up prick who is affraid to admit it

@ adam, is that right, I didn't realise we lived in a communist country, where we aren't allowed to think otherwise. I'm guessing your the little spoon.

Hoxton fin haircut, old raybans, knee-length jeans..? Yes, you get a lot of the cock-faced Londoners who go to V. It is 30 miles down the road and is undoubtedly a tosser magnet. Having had freebie tickets to cover it for three years running, I eventually gave up because while the music was great, the atmosphere was mean, nasty, dispiriting and spiteful. That includes much of the staff working it (particularly the security who clearly got their training from watching Eden Lake) and the punters. And if you REALLY want to see the ultimate in tosspots - pop into the VIP area. Imagine the Big Brother garden with every vacuous, annoying, gobby, 'look-at-me-aren't-I-special' twit ever spewed from their agent's womb. Seriously Mr Waller, you're a idiot. You'll be going to the Cambridge Folk Festival yet and writting 2,000 words on how everyone there is a beardy-weirdy ex-hippy who is hiding their middle-class credentials and refuses to listen to Kiss FM like you do. Advice - find a small festival with a mix of music, miles from London. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more.

'It’s just a shame that ‘popular’ music these days generally seems to attract riff-raff like flies around shit who don’t know the real meaning of fun or the worth of other human beings.' Mate, spot on.....haha

Dont waste your Fucking time next year , go the bulldog bash instead , an exuberant atmosphere you could cut with a knife and a crowd who really know how to party !

OMG Go to V in Staffordshire, a TOTALLY different experience, I went this year and it was amazing, no one gave a damn about their fake tan or outfits, it was all about the music and having a laugh. I highly promote Stafford for you lot for next year. No offence but what do you expect having a music festival in Essex!!

I agree - but why did you go?

Of course a festival that puts on the most mainstream pop/rock acts is going to attract a non-intellectual music fan, and unfortunately when the acts on offer are inoffensive and bland (depending on your point of view), it'll attract an element who have very little interest in watching music and see it more an opportunity to get wasted and start trouble. The fact that it's in Essex has nothing to do with it, Sparks. Do you think that these kind of people are exclusive to Essex? Don't be ignorant.

I agreed with you until you said that you loved music but mentioned Eminem as 'brilliant' without a mention for the Wombats. Eminems backing track was more prominent than his live performance for most of his songs.

Maybe you should ask someone older what the swinging 60's was like

Jordan Waller certainly looks cool, doesn't he?

You need to chill the fuck out bro.. it's a relaxing time to make some good memories with mates! Yes the music is a bit mainstream but if you're too much of a snob to appreciate acts that have made it then just go somewhere else. For people who like music, want a dance and generally get off their tits with friends then it's ideal! Everyone needs to relax and realise, it's all about having a good time.. not the time to critique! You sad wankers!

I'm not a massive festival goer myself (But that's largely because I hate camping and can be really fickle) but my past experiences of festivals have been pretty good natured. I attended Bloodstock this year with my band and the people were great, facilities were good and it was a bloody good weekend. Its a shame people acted so poorly at this festival, but I think when you have certain events you're going to attract a certain type of individual and you're always going to have your fair share of cunts.

i can tell you what the new age of festivals are missing and what is wrong...its missing freedom,the freedom to just put your tent anywhere nowadays youre are shown where to go! old glastonbury you can pretty much just go wherever you want aslong as you arent pitched on stage! and the reason why our freedom has been taken away is because the festivals are just too big, the freedom had to be taken away to pretect the masses

Oh dear Ben, the fact that you feel the need to insult others shows your low intellectual level, and are apparently in the same bracket as the mindless thugs that throw piss bottles at these events. After attending Chelmsford last year and Staffordshire this year, I can categorically inform you that Essex was a fashion parade, there is no debate to be had, the Essex lot had it Chav style and the Midland crew didn't give a shit that's the end of it! I am actually from the South so its not that I am a Northerner being rude, its the truth!

Here Here! Could not agree more about V Festival in Chelmsford!

Yep... from the same cultural background, but even the barbaric eighties where so many actually tried to go low as one could go amidst all the globally aware anti-materialist anti-atrocity agit-milit metal/punk, push the bar down even scat munching gg allin oozed more class (and diohrrea) than this modern fabric of society that are actually often trying to adopt some semblance of 'class', ironically. and that is the only time 'class' enters the fray, as it's a culture. these stark raving hip popster type are just the product of our times and ideals, we have arrived. kids in 3rd world countries actually have better etiquette so I'm thinking of fleeing these isles btw I'd been to the first two V's; was mostly good musicians. Daphne & Celeste types would have been bottled off, but they are a must now. must cater for the modern audience which is safe to assume a fucking eedjit - as documented.

"SSSHHHUTT UP" It is in Essex....what did you expect! Bennicassim a few years ago was like stepping onto the set of Skins.....I blame the parents that bank roll the fun.

I think they should move (cha)V Festival to Dale Farm Gypsy Site in Basildon. I hear there may be a bit of spare land over that way soon and they already have a 'piss anywhere' policy. Personally, I would rather put my genitals in a bees nest than go to that chav-riddled shit hole but then I have a an IQ higher than the number of citroen saxo's that live in my street.

Hahahahahaha you all write as if this really matters...One day hopefully you will all grow up and see yourselves for what you were. Meanwhile there are people starving in this world..they have real problems and you just have opinions about rubbish

One word... BESTIVAL

Been to V Chelmsford a couple of times. I think it's just that it's full of cockneys that makes it odd. Both times just watched a couple of bands. I found leaving the site, turning left and walking a bit resulted in finding a small village with a pub with half decent ale where I could while away the afternoon waiting before walking back for Primal Scream.

I have been to each V festival since 2008 and each time the crowd, vibe, atmosphere and people have got progressively worse. I've got to say 2009 was phenomenal, people who go to festivals will know what I'm talking about when I say there was something special in the air during them two days, it was extraordinary and a privilege to be part of the crowd in 2009 whilst it was filled with music lovers, a friendly atmosphere and the response to the artists was phenomenal just take a look at snow patrols set on youtube from 2009 it was something out of the ordinary and it was just brilliant. It was the feelings I've got from going to these festivals that makes me want to go back in the hope of recreating nights like in 2009 however 2010 and 2011 have fallen well short of the legacy left by 2009. I agree with the writer of the article, festivals have been glamorised too much and have become main stream, V festival may seem manufactured and robotic to the most keen festival veteran but I can tell you it had a soul, it was full of fantastic, quirky people that were friendly and fun to be around but sadly as the uprising into the spotlight occurs so does the decline of the music loving nice guys, sadly they're being replaced by horrible chavs that seem intent on gaining pleasure by ruining the weekend of others, although they don't only ruin peoples weekends, they ruin the atmosphere, I see groups of happy, enthusiastic people ready to sing their hearts out intertwined in groups of horrible, nasty chav morons that prevent them from doing so just because letting loose and being different for a day is something that they deem as vulnerable. They attack those that just want to have a good time for being different and not having the regimented chav approach to life 'lets not sing or show emotion because then we seem weak, lets just put on deep voices and throw stuff at other people, oh and don't forget that we can only wear black clothes because coloured clothes are seen as weak'... I detest these people, they are ruining the english festival scene, we're supposed to be the most enthusiastic, amazing crowds that attract the biggest stars every year however I can't see this title lasting for much longer.

haha brilliant so spot on, worked there two years in a row and was on the border of suicide every time. Creamfields, global are pretty much on a similar level i might add

hey, I am a high school stuendt and just wanted to know what is your profession whats your career or your job? i am curious cause i just looked at the map and so many places you have been too and even attending concerts i from your youtube channel i saw a few clips form Tiesto and Skrillex that i also attended what kind of job allows you to travel and have so much free time and even have a website? i think that's AWESOME!

i think v festival/bestival are good , because they keep all the idiots away from the kicking little festivals :) long may the rip off continue :)

Spot on. ALL mainstream festivals are now nothing more than a living art tribute to Hollyoaks

I took my son to Download last year and Sonisphere the year before. Even though they are ridiculously expensive and there are some scary-looking folks alles uber der platz, both gigs were really friendly and felt genuinely like a family environment. Occasionally some people are so hammered that they become a pain in the arse but generally it is completely free of those types of people who just like to act like macho egotistical c**ts. Metal isn't everyone's cup of tea but I always felt that people look after each other way better than at those chavvy festivals.

I was at V last year. Can't say I noticed this but I can understand it. Try putting up with the neds at T in the park then you can have something to complain about! If you want a good festival with a great atmosphere try isle of wight or for something a bit heavier go to download.

Went to loads of festivals in my youth - got high as a kite and danced my socks off for 8 - 16 hours... However, looking back at myself, if I went to a festival today and was surrounded by the me's of 10 years ago, I'd think they were chavvy twats, when the reality is, I am simply older and therefore less inclined to act like a total twat at a festival!

Went a few years ago to the western park one. Had a good laugh with a load of mates but yeah full of pricks. Never been a festival which is way over the top commercial and that has tighter security than the White House!

I went to the first V in '96 (showing my age here) and although obviously more corporate from the get-go than any other festival, there was virtually no 'mainstream' acts on at all. There were two main stages and more than once I was pissed off as there were bands I wanted to see on at the same time. The only act I was I determined to avoid were Reef. No bother occurred at all. As early as the following year it had started to change however, Blur were headlining and we spent their entire set dodging plastic bottles, some full. Maybe that was down to Blur's more 'laddish' element of fans, as Pulp had headlined the previous year with a great atmosphere. '97 though was the last year I went as from then on the mainstream acts started to creep in. I'd be fucked if was going shell out to camp in a field for a weekend to watch All Saints. Sounds now it's more like an extended Radio 1 roadshow for the TOWIE generation.

try boomtown/tomorrowland/burning man. all amazing, in every aspect.

Biggest load of bollocks i've ever read. Either that or Staffordshire is just much much better!

I've been to V at chelmsford a few times now - I only get tickets if the acts interest me so that hasnt been every year by a long way - and each time i've been the atmosphere has gotten worse. I'm sorry to say I wont be going again, which is a shame as i've seen some great acts there - Morrisey and Paul Weller spring to mind as great acts that didnt headline - but it's got to the stage where i dont feel relaxed, the air of just under the surface violence ruins it for me and I sure wont take my wife and put her at risk. Seems to get more crowded every year too. Dont blame commercialism either. I've been to the hyde park hard rock gigs several times, not much more commercial than that but never had a bad experience there. bloodstock is usually great and the bulldog bash has a great atmosphere, as does the rock and blues, and they are run by bikers but never any trouble. The Isle of Wight used to be awesome but some of the acts there lately, they must be trying to attract 12 year olds is all i can say!

Great review and absolutely spot on! This place is commercial as fuck. You are told what to eat, drink and the people that go lap it up. Last went in 97 and thought never again and have stayed true to my words. It is for people who dont like music but want to say that they have been to a festival.

They turn the music off at 11pm..what more can i say....apart from yeah its full of robbing cunts.

You want to see a genuine vindication of this article? I'm going this year because my girlfriends wants to go to a festival before we have kids. She's more I tested in what she'll be wearing than who are playing. The only band I'm genuinely I'm interested in seeing is Ocean Colour Scene and I've seen them about a dozen times before. If it were up to me, we'd be going to Beat-Herder but V is the most accessible to people who, like you say, don't really like music. All that said, if you can't enjoy yourself somewhere like this because of what people around you are doing then you're a bit of a dick yourself. Grow up and just get on with doing what you want to do and don't be so elitist that you feel only those that understand the music and the traditional festival culture should be able to enjoy it. Never been to New Orleans? I took my missus to a 20-20 game at Headingley (which was a great night out) but wouldn't take her to a test match. Exact same thing.