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Hoax Or Not, Alessio Rastani's Goldman Sachs Speech Is The Most Loathsome Piece Of TV Ever

by Dave Lee
27 September 2011 28 Comments

Yesterday this sweaty-slick trader told the BBC that 'Goldman Sachs rules the world'. I don't care if it is true, I just want to punch his self-satisfied mush...

I don’t care if what he said is true, I don’t care if the financial crisis is going to get worse, but it made me want to smash my TV when I saw sweaty-slick scumbag Alessio Rastani tell BBC News that, ‘the governments don’t rule the world, Goldman Sachs rules the world’ and ‘I dream about the recession, I dream about a moment like this.’

Invited onto the BBC to discuss the Greek debt crisis Rastani (identified only as an ‘independent trader’) sat in a satellite studio with an image of Canary Wharf behind him and pretended that he was our friend. He told us that the financial crisis was going to get worse, that we should protect our assets and (worst of all) that if we knew how to play the markets there was money to be made from stock market crashes.

Most of all I hope that, some day soon, when this deluded, jumped-up self-important no mark twat is dying of a painful disease, he is strapped to a sandpaper bed, eyes pinned open Clockwork Orange-style

Listen, Rastani – You’re not our friend, you’re not anyone’s friend. You spend your days making money from the misfortune of others, from the mismanagement of governments and from a system that benefits those prepared to live life as evil shits and punishes everyone else. You went on TV to crow about how you profit from misery and no doubt you skipped merrily back to your desk running a gauntlet of high fives from your colleagues. You are probably very pleased with yourself for being such a clever little boy. I’m here to tell you, laddy, that all you’ve done is make everyone on the planet want to punch you in your self-satisfied mush.

The vast majority of people don’t care a jot about the stock market. It has nothing but a negative effect on our lives and many of the woes that we are all encountering at the moment are caused by the self-serving actions of a handful of shit-holes like Rastani. Stay away, Rastani, stay off my TV. Live your sick life out of my view and save your vomit-inducing views for the champagne bars around Canada Square. I hope you choke on your Cristal and I hope the only person nearby who knows first aid feels the same way about your TV appearance and watches you grasp desperately at the throat from which your loathsome opinions spout.

Most of all I hope that, some day soon, when this deluded, jumped-up self-important no mark twat is dying of a painful disease, he is strapped to a sandpaper bed, eyes pinned open Clockwork Orange-style and forced to watch this 3½ minutes of TV on a loop until he realises that he has wasted his life and pleads for the world’s forgiveness. Which will not be granted.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Mongalong 12:36 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Well done, 'Mr. Rastani', you successfully trolled our writer. Dave - it's a prank by the Yes Men.

scotty 12:37 pm, 27-Sep-2011

I take back everything I said about the looters.

Dave Lee 12:40 pm, 27-Sep-2011

If he is a fake then well done Yes Men, magnificent work.

Mongalong 12:46 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Actually, troll or not, it doesn't matter. his remarks are so close to the truth of what traders think that it makes no difference, he's just pointing it out. And I bet he can get reservations at Dorsia.

Chir0n 12:54 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Robert Peston posted this vid on his twitter feed claiming that, although everyone had told him the guy wasn't genuine (Peston is currently trying to find out how the BBC cam by this guy), real traders have actually been telling him the same thing in private. It could all be true, regardless of how genuine (or not) Mr Rastani is.

Dave 12:55 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Wake up Dave Lee. He might be smarmy, but you don't care if there's an economic collapse? Muppet. Tell it to the unemployed masses they don't mean anything in comparison to one person's image.

AlessioSatan 1:27 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Dave Lee 1:43 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Definitely a hoax: Magnificent work. I am shamed and proud all at once.

Stephen Tudor 1:53 pm, 27-Sep-2011

No need for shame Dave. Was a majestic rant and well worth a read all the same. And like others have said - these c***s exist regardless.

Paul 1:53 pm, 27-Sep-2011

The video link you just posted proves absolutely nothing to do with the video clip in question, Dave Lee;- not even just a little bit of nothing, it is completely and totally irrelevant to the original clip, please post video's that are not just simply a waste of time but that may actually be useful. Money is of no consequence to the Elites, it's all control mechanics. Look after yourself, and your friends, live your lives as YOU want. Amen.

Ralph 1:54 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Not fake. And while he is obnoxious, I think it refreshing to see the truth of this financial crisis pasted all over the MSM.

Miles 2:02 pm, 27-Sep-2011

we all know that he's speaking the truth, hoax or not.

Ali Catterall 2:16 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Actually, could the Sodding Yes Men butt out of world affairs? By pranking the BBC, they're simply undermining the hard work that genuine Evil-doers do.

Bob Sherunkle 2:26 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Shoot him... shoot the messenger... shoot him!

Chris 2:48 pm, 27-Sep-2011

"Stay away, Rastani, stay off my TV. Live your sick life out of my view" Aaargh! It's someone telling the truth! Run Away! Run Away!

johnnyw 3:01 pm, 27-Sep-2011

sh*t, are you sure its a prank, i've shorted a load of investments on account of that pr*ck

Tim 3:05 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Whether anyone likes this guy is not - isn't it blatantly obvious he's speaking the truth when he says 'governments don't rule the world, goldman sachs does'? Isn't that the message we should be looking at here?

anon 4:44 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Calm down, even if he wasnt joking he reflected the attitude of the city boys. Get with reality and realise these people are taking you for a ride, accept it and move on or do something about it- instead of ranting like an impotent eejit.

Andrew McCarten 7:19 pm, 27-Sep-2011

These cunts exist regardless-summed it up perfectly

leo 10:07 pm, 27-Sep-2011

about time the MSM started broadcasting the truth behind the massive ponzi scheme that is the neo lib version of capitalism. a colossal swindle with a catastrophic tragedy as its punchline.

Joan 10:50 pm, 27-Sep-2011

Look it's going to happen anyway as he says so you can either take the moral high ground and join the innocent victims or you can try to survive to fight another day.. The choice is yours! Personally I'd take what he says on board and protect yourself by buying physical precious metals, one of the few things governments can't devalue through policy (NOT treasury bills etc). The only thing you're right to deride is his glee and excitment but that could also come from complete resignation that there's nothing he can do about it if he wanted to so can only avise people to join him..

Atieno 6:42 am, 28-Sep-2011

I am trader and this is what we do - profit from market movements - up and down - so markets crashing is a profit opportunity - its the name of the game - dnt hate the player hate the game - we trade that is how we make money and feed our children- - -if you are wise..instead of bitching around - get on your computer and start trading..!! he is honest to tell you where the holy grail of money is - educate yourselves

patrick 8:41 am, 28-Sep-2011

The reporters jaws dropped... that's classic. Someone that finally got on TV and spoke the truth. Traders are not investors.... their job is to make money in down, up and sideways markets. They are risk managers, and get paid quite well when successful. It's amazing how ignorant the press is what traders and market makers do. Traders do not represent the public.... they bring liquidity to the marketplace. Without traders and market makers there would be no market..... someone has to take the other side of the trade when there is not equilibrium. You can best compare a market maker to a bookie.... he takes bets on both teams, moving the line to get close to equilibrium. But equilibrium is never quite met, so he has to take a position. There is nothing evil about it, unless market manipulation is taking place. And look no further than Goldman Sachs if you want to see shenanigans.

Kat 12:17 pm, 28-Sep-2011

you need to take it for what it is - funny, best laugh I've had for a long time...

Ro 1:02 pm, 28-Sep-2011

Well, get angry with all these type of people that make money of a downward market, that can make money of stocks dropping! And no, they don't care about you! real or not, at least somebody that says it straight in your face. Some can take it, others not!

Anonymouse 3:19 pm, 28-Sep-2011

Sure this guy is a dangerous ************ but the important thing is the essential truth that he has stated. Mammoth sitting on the coffee table anyone?

Ellen Bryant 5:46 pm, 28-Sep-2011

Maybe they "Rule" because they have all those "lifetime" contracts that are useless to the entities they made all the promises to, can't fulfill and will sue any entity that wants what they thought they were promised??? Like them wanting to take over Eureka's Port for 60 years for Container Cargo Ships to off-load here (this little bitty Harbor would have to be dredged so much, it would suck in Two-St) and we'd have Trains 24/7, double stacked....etc, etc... JOBS!!! I went to a Port mtg and told them the TRUTH... The realiity of our little bitty Channel with a wedged LNG Tanker stuck in it; first Train would never make it through the first Tunnel, etc, etc.... Whatever... Thank Heavens THEY never signed or Goldman-SUCKS would own this Port too!

Alessio Supporter 4:16 am, 29-Sep-2011

this is soo silly the suthor of this blog is the real twat. get yo head outta yo ass and see wtf the world is coming to - alessio is the real man - that had th ablls to get his message to the poor dickhead people of this country watching eastender's. u know wats more ppathetic than loosers watchign tv and not caring about how to profit from the recession - is the fact that scum lowlifes like yourself - are hating on alessio - one things for sure - this country is fucked and there will be a bunch of super waealthy people rising from it you go die a poor death and let the few like us be smart protect ourselves and cash in.....

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