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I Secretly Fancy Bargain Hunt's Catherine Southon

Not a conventional beauty by any stretch but she could hunt for my bargain any day of the week...

It’s not often that the BBC’s Bargain Hunt causes a stir in one’s trouser region, but hard is the heart of the man who denies himself the charms of Catherine Southon, Britain’s favourite antique-hunting milf. From her pleasingly clipped tones to her slender, feminine figure, Southon stands in stark contrast to the perma-tanned skanks currently infesting the realms of British TV, and is the perfect tonic to a damp car boot sale.

The former head of scientific instruments at Sotheby’s trained in maritime art before making the move to daytime TV, where she now regularly graces many of the generic antique shows that the BBC laughingly refers to as “entertainment”. Whether it be flogging it, bargain hunting or putting one’s money where one’s mouth is, the nation’s internet masturbators agree that Southon deserves far greater exposure – preferably frame-by-frame, from an indecently low angle.


Four Women I Should Be Ashamed To Fancy (But I’m Not)

Is She Fit Or Is She Hot?

On the face of it, Southon seems little more than any other stylish mother-of-two that one might run into whilst perusing the preserves in a branch of Waitrose. But behind the cuteness, giggles and a well-fitting pair of fuck-me boots there is a subtle, yet undeniable possibility that maybe – just maybe – she’s the kind of woman who would let you take some liberties in the cereal aisle. And isn’t that we’re all looking for in the short term, chaps – a bit of filthy mystery?

Let the boys beat-off incessantly over the Lindsay Lohans and the Miley Cyruses of the world; real men like real women. Women who know how to use a garden strimmer; women with a collection of ugly woolly jumpers; women who swallow without expecting a medal. In short, the kind of woman worthy of a pedestal, even if it is just so you can look up her skirt.

Southon and her milf-ish colleagues have done the unthinkable and made daytime TV watchable again. A new generation of hottie is finally taking up the torch, slinkily infiltrating the fields of TV left barren of masturbatory material since Angela Ripon’s departure from TV-am in 1983. Carol Kirkwood, Susanna Reid, Fiona Bruce, Kirstie Allsopp – all obtainable women that have been lifted to a higher plain by the power of fame. From this day forth let Catherine Southon be counted as one of the number, a deserving member of the Fwap Pack.

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Bark pamphlet 11:37 am, 25-Jan-2012

You touch-up my old master while I buff yer Clarice Cliff.

johnhalloween 11:46 am, 25-Jan-2012

not even with yours mate

Farmer John 1:08 pm, 25-Jan-2012

She looks like the kind of bird who would prefer to mount you like a horse, whipping your arse with a riding crop yelling 'shit on me Monty'

Bob 1:55 pm, 25-Jan-2012

Big Knickers and a Tweed jacket is all I'm getting.

Mike 3:25 pm, 25-Jan-2012

Couldn't agree more... tho' prefer Ms. Kirkwood...

V 3:32 pm, 25-Jan-2012

Bargain cunt.

Nige 7:32 pm, 25-Jan-2012

She'd probably be a bit hairy but filthy

waveydavey 8:23 pm, 25-Jan-2012

Farmer John, that phrase "Shit on me Monty" I remember it, but where's it from?

Mattie 11:56 pm, 25-Jan-2012


Abs 2:08 am, 26-Jan-2012

Thank you kind sir for this wonderful article, for I was beginning to wonder "was it just me?" I for one totally agree with you and have had my eye on this fine fille for sometime now. I even find myself watching Bargain Hunt purely for her alone. I would gladly take this lady over any of those talentless wastes of space in the reality TV world. I sometimes wonder who commissions these programs and casts these idiots. Now at least I can sleep easy knowing I am not the only one. Long may she continue to grace our screens!!!

waveydavey 5:18 am, 26-Jan-2012

Cheers Mattie

Sean 6:09 pm, 27-Jan-2012

Mirabile dictu, I thought I was alone.

Colin 1:54 pm, 31-Jan-2012

Glad it's just not me then. I am not ashamed to admit that I have rubbed one out to Bargain Hunt when Catherine was on. It isn't easy though because the frequent cuts to Tim can make you lose your concentration.

Mike 11:01 am, 10-Feb-2012

I only watch Bargain Hunt when Catherine Southon is on, she's gorgeous !!!!

andrew 1:43 pm, 16-Feb-2012

recent convert to Bargain Hunt after change in working patterns so Ms Southon came as a delicious surprise. As for the comment about her "probably being abit hairy", well one can hope so!! for me that would be the icing on a very nice cake. long live the muff, in her cae a rather fetching golden brown shade I reckon.

Matt 2:19 pm, 17-Feb-2012

A two sherry give it a go kind of bird . Do they make sherry goggles ???

Mike 2:22 pm, 5-Mar-2012

Is there such a thing as a Catherine Southon fan club ?, or at least a calendar I can buy somewhere. She is definitely my favourite beauty at the moment.

chris 7:29 pm, 10-Mar-2012

thank god i'm not in the minority, there's a stirring in my loins when i see her.

Andrew 6:23 pm, 19-Mar-2012

She is undeniably gorgeous. I remember Tim saying in one episode, "let's see Catherine's nips". Hear hear.

Tennyson 10:15 pm, 14-Aug-2012

I couldn't agree more I reckon she'd go like a french express train on amphetemines if you watch her closely she is always touching the male contestants, arm arond them I mean, she's really touchy feely & I find that & her relly hot!.

allen 1:08 pm, 15-Aug-2012

Definitely the top woman on TV. I can imagine getting into bed with Catherine and never wanting to get out again. Lets have more of her on B.H. Get rid of Barbie and Surrel to make room for Catherine. Viewing figs will escalate.

Chris Maley 6:46 pm, 25-Sep-2012

A true nice middle class English Rose that I thought had gone. Get rid of your Holly, Davina,Jessie J,Cheryl modern tarts. Some of us like proper women

allen 1:07 pm, 26-Sep-2012

Catherine was on B.H. only yesterday. September 24th. She just looks better each time. MORE OF HER REQUIRED !!. Her bare shoulders and arms do more for me than anyone else on TV-including even Carol Vorderman.

warren 2:09 am, 5-Oct-2012

I would only watch BH when Kate and/or Catherine is on. Unfortunately, I don't know when in advance. Sorry to hear about David Barbie.

warren 10:22 am, 5-Oct-2012

I like it when it is filmed in summer and Catherine has a low cut dress,revealing just a hint of cleavage.

Andrew 1:29 pm, 28-Oct-2012

I secretly fancy her,too!Sometimes she doesn't look too good but,often,I think she is attractive and probably a very nice person,too!

JJ 1:22 pm, 6-Nov-2012

Dearest Catherine gives us all bargains to dream of in her mystifying eyes. A personality which I will always cherish. The "creme de la creme" of the BH program

Jim 7:21 pm, 7-Nov-2012

As a shoe fetishist my attention is of course always drawn towards Cath's feet

Jim 12:13 am, 10-Nov-2012

You wankers, my sensational post has been "awaiting moderation" for 2 days!

Andrew 12:54 am, 10-Nov-2012

I went to the Flog It valuation on April 13th this year.She was sitting at the next table to me-several feet away-when I was having my Edwardian actress postcard album valued.I did briefly meet Paul Martin but wasn't able to meet Catherine as she was very busy,constantly being filmed,valuing items!I like her and wouldn't mind being married to her-could do a lot worse!!

Markxist 5:13 pm, 10-Nov-2012

Yup I would

Markxist 12:36 am, 19-Nov-2012

By the way Mattie, 'Shit on me Monty' does NOT appear in Withnail and I

vulcanman 8:32 pm, 20-Nov-2012

Yes Cath certainly deserves a visit to the billy mill roundabout!! I watch her prog at 5:15 to 6 whenever she's listed, without doubt she beats Pointless!

John O' 11:18 pm, 23-Nov-2012

She is a hidden treasure, don't overdo it guys, or she might get big headed, then she would lose her charm. She is lovely though

mike 5:11 pm, 12-Dec-2012

Please, please, please, we need much more Catherine on TV. When is Catherine Southon going to do a nude charity antiques calendar, you know, hiding her nips behind a grandfather cock....I mean CLOCK !

Markxist 6:23 pm, 21-Dec-2012

@Mike, your nips comment reminds me of the episode where she bought some silver nips for the two contestants to which Tim said 'now lets go and see what the auctioneer thinks about Catherine's nips' Hilarious!

cesc pistol 3:41 am, 28-Dec-2012

i always thought she was rachel riley's older sister.

Mike 5:59 pm, 13-Jan-2013

Rachel Riley is very nice, but she's no Catherine Southon. Catherine is in a class of her own.

davy 3:41 pm, 20-Jan-2013

Love her long sexy legs gets me horny every time she is on

andyy 1:14 am, 5-Feb-2013

She's gorgeous. Like a summer's day. Reminds me of the girls I used to lust after at the posh private all girls school many, many years ago. She's very touchy-feely. You can tell a lot of the men she flirts with are completely non-plussed by her delicious femininity. And those legs ...

Steve 2:18 pm, 5-Feb-2013

I think she is gorgeous love her legs particularly when in her tights I noticed yesterday on antiques road trip while they were showing each others stuff during the shooting she changed from high heels to trainers would love to see her nylon feet.

mark 6:05 pm, 5-Feb-2013

a nice gentle screw!

Kevin 6:21 pm, 7-Feb-2013

Absolutely gorgeous loved the down top shots yesterday and tidays fantastic halter dress. Antiques have never been so watchable!

Kevin 6:22 pm, 8-Feb-2013

Even better today, what a gorgeous arse in that red dress

Stuart Taylor 6:01 pm, 13-Feb-2013

Umm Catherine is very Intriguing, certainly has a great body, and such a shameless flirt! maybe one for the 'I really would, but not sure why' category!

Tony 6:33 pm, 24-Feb-2013

Would definitely pop her on!Gorgeous!

Mike 5:46 pm, 5-Mar-2013

Yes, she's a jolly stimulating lady. Bubbly, feisty, clever and natural. Nice speaking voice too and I'd be jolly surprised if she didn't hold her arse-cheeks apart and request one right up the shitpipe.

kaydon 6:15 pm, 6-Mar-2013

She probably pretends that she gets it when she dosen't, but given the chance, she would more than likely want to be fucked hard and fast. I'd luv to blow a hot sticky load up her bargain hunt!

Bigsy 6:19 pm, 6-Mar-2013

my god I thought I was the only one who perved after this little beauty, her class and appearance just takes the mind to a place of ' i bet that is filth' every single time.

Stuart 4:27 pm, 7-Mar-2013

She reminds me of my old art teacher except she had longer hair. Catherine has lovely legs, she certainly stirs my trouser region when I watch her.

trader 6:01 pm, 8-Mar-2013

OMG shes on tv now! Someone else said it really, you,re not sure why ...but you would!

Nick 6:15 pm, 8-Mar-2013

Lovely. Just lovely. Bet she would be a fabulous dinner companion as well as all the fantasies detailed above !

mick 10:18 pm, 9-Mar-2013

Ahhhh - fellow admirers! I follow every sinuous curve in those smart cocktail dresses she wears. I'd appear on the prog just to put my arm round her waist. The great thing is, she's all woman - tall, elegant, curvy, a hint of naughtiness lurking behind the sweet smile. She could show me her assets any time :-)

Arthur 9:06 pm, 23-Mar-2013

It's not just me then! Catherine is wonderfully furry and I'd love to stroke her like a friendly cat.

A_riggles 8:27 pm, 2-Apr-2013

No - fuck off

Norfbert 6:48 am, 14-Apr-2013

I agree with all of the "for" comments. Catherine is surely one who we asould see more of on the Beeb.

Hal 2:59 pm, 28-Apr-2013

She's gorgeous.. in a sort of 'school-prefect' kind of way. Like a lot of te guys here, I thought I was the only one too! I have quite a few videos of her, I made from BH and Antiques Road Trip. If anyone wants to check them out or just have a smutty chat about her, please e-mail me.

Andrew 2:10 pm, 20-Jun-2013

I have commented on here before,but feel I have to again as,last night,I had a dream about her...unfortunately can't remember much about it except I was at some place with her (with other people)and she kissed me-a tongue job!Unfortunately,I didn't do it too good and,in the dream,I was waiting for another chance to do it better!but I woke up before that happened (I think!?)Trouble is,if I was to meet her in real life,I probably would be too nervous to even just have a good short chat with her!She looks better side view,but I like her a lot!

Mal 1:08 pm, 21-Jun-2013

She is fantastic, an ordinary girl Just want her terribly

Andrew 7:11 pm, 21-Jun-2013

I just wondered if people knew that Catherine will be 40 in November and I know her married name but as there's very little about it on the net,I feel that.perhaps?,Catherine may not like it if I say?But her married surname was at the end of just one 'Flog It' a few years ago-so,perhaps,that was a mistake!?Anyway,wish I could be invited to her 40th birthday party (in my dreams!)

tony 7:01 am, 1-Aug-2013

I would like to do do more than just stroke her, more like poke her.

Kevin 12:23 pm, 1-Aug-2013

I think cathrine is stunning. I love everything about her

Dirty Don 1:15 pm, 14-Aug-2013

I reckon she would slurp it up like a vacuum cleaner, she is definatly a really dirty girl, I can see her now in sussies and stockings standing over me and telling me what a dirty naughty boy I am, then taking her leather belt off, got to stop now, its all getting to much for me.

Angie 11:34 am, 29-Aug-2013

Are you all mad? The woman is a pretentious,spoilt know it all; who to be quite frank, knows 'Jack' and likes to listen to no-one else's opinion or voice but her own. In the 'antiques trade'; Catherine Southon is neither well liked or respected. She kicked the ever so nice and eager to learn Jonathon Pratt in the shin for daring to point out that she had been wrong and lost £110. Self opinionated, self important, self seeking and so very spoilt, that is Southon; Intelligent, polite, nice, sexy....whoa Guys, that is SOOOO NOT Southon, sorry to burst your bubbles and she scratches her arse in public!!

Angie 11:40 am, 29-Aug-2013

Kate Bliss over Catherine Southon anyday, Now guys... Kate is gorgeous, genuine and albeit a woman... Bliss, I WOULD do.... Everything Southon is not.

AndrewJ 1:30 pm, 11-Sep-2013

She is quite possibly the worst "expert" on Bargain Hunt. Seldom makes a profit on anything she advises her team to buy. I always wondered what she actually did within the industry to merit the position, but according to her BBC profile she worked her way up from filing and answering the phones at Sotheby's. Cant think how. It was funny however watching repeats from the time she was pregnant. One day she would be pregnant, the next not. She actually appeared one time with her baby, possibly one of the ugliest I've ever seen.

Gerard 10:14 pm, 14-Sep-2013

Catherine and Anita are two of the most gorgeous woman on tv. look at them nearly every day and they become better every minute. they are the Summa Ultra Summum of BBC.

Sebastien Quimby 3:43 pm, 15-Sep-2013

Oh she is so sex.I have often imagined her sporting a big strap on,mmmmmmmmm.

martin 12:31 pm, 18-Sep-2013

I'm sure I heard mention that she likes to be spanked, I would happily oblige for a modest fee, naaa I'd spank her pretty little arse for free.

Andrew Prince 1:28 pm, 6-Oct-2013

What a load of shite you lot write!

12 inch 1:33 pm, 14-Oct-2013

You lot have to write down your sexual fantasyland wank in your pants shit what a sad bunch of cunts you are. As if the classy miss/mrs southon would want to know any of you losers. All you lot are one step away from rapeing some innocent feamale. Iam a 40 year old male from ipswich Suffolk i have a massive cock unlike you pea brains.

Ben 12:31 pm, 21-Oct-2013

If I was given £300 and given an hour with her I wouldn't waste it swanning about at a car boot sale in a muddy field. I wonder what she'd do for £300 an hour?

Dirty Don 9:21 am, 21-Nov-2013

Now then lets get down to the nitty gritty, does she swallow it?, is she a spitter?, or does she slobber it down onto her tits?, this question needs to be thrashed out, My own opinion is shes a slobberer, however I would value the opinion of others on this matter.

Hal 1:51 pm, 7-Dec-2013

Sad or not... What I'd give, to see just a hint of her knickers. I'm hoping she wears the old-fahioned big'ns.

john 11:30 am, 9-Dec-2013

you are beautiful.xo

dave 2:16 pm, 19-Dec-2013

In reply to Dirty Don, without a dought Cathrine is a swallower, but I am she certain would also accept a facefull of cum, she is very much into anal, and possibly into light BSM, all in all one you wouldn't want to be married to, but you would look forward to visiting her a couple of nights a week, my conclusion is she is super dirty woman. good luck to her.

Kevin 12:24 pm, 15-Jan-2014

I think Catherine is lovely she makes my day when she is on Bargain hunt

Kevin 12:31 pm, 15-Jan-2014

Catherine is very good looking and very sexy

Roland 4:17 pm, 16-Jan-2014

I love her to bits, she,s just fantastic.

Paddy 7:18 pm, 3-Feb-2014

@ Jim : I would so love to give her a footjob!!!... Kiss her beautiful feet all over and suck each one of her beautiful toes. She is perfect eye candy!!

Gavin 6:01 pm, 4-Feb-2014

I would eat her shit she is just sex on legs the best looking yummy mummy on TV !

Micky 6:51 pm, 4-Feb-2014

I would love to smash her back door in !

Pounding Pierre 7:15 pm, 5-Feb-2014

I love the thought of her lusciously sticked lips going Southon me.

John 6:08 pm, 6-Feb-2014

I concur. And like a fine wine she has become more full bodied and wholesome with maturity. If only she were not so devoted to her husband I would place my bid and take the lot.

Michael 12:16 pm, 8-Feb-2014

Just had the marvellous week of pymwymis show, Catherine is so watchable, beautiful and talks like she is your friend, just want to take her out for a lovely evening dinner then onto life thereafter. Catherine is my dream. You can keep all the other women on TV, she is a real LADY....PERFECT

John 12:16 am, 4-May-2014

Get on Bing images guys and type in Catherines or Kates name you will see some hot photo shopped images of them

gg 5:31 pm, 2-Jun-2014

Me too proper milf

chris j 4:56 pm, 5-Jun-2014

mmmm yes a lady with a well formed ass. There is one programme where she loses her bracelet behind some furniture... there is a great shot of her on all fours bending right over..i ber her knickers are really streched over her ass, Id love to pull up her dress pull down her knickers and ride her hard and fast.

mrtumble 11:25 pm, 18-Jun-2014

Must admit, Catherine is growing on me but I'd go for Kate Bliss everytime.A bit of posh to use as the warm up for Kate Middleton!

Michael D 5:24 pm, 11-Aug-2014

I wonder if she's read these comments and what was her reaction, wet or dry.

EmKayH 7:30 am, 3-Sep-2014

Both Kate & Catherine are eminently bedworthy. If I wanted a quickie in the stable, or anywhere else, then Kate is your woman with that lovely big mouth of hers but Catherine is the one I would want to ride. Ther's a she-devil hiding in that 'mumsie' exterior!

Youri 8:57 pm, 29-Jan-2015

In Belgium, we also think Catherine is absolutely gorgeous ! She is the one and only Catherine-the-great ! Love her xxx

Johnson Silk 8:42 pm, 12-Feb-2015

Shes a fucking minger look at her big yellow tombstone teeth and big fat arse and tree trunk legs, must have shit shit in your eyes you sadass cunts.

Jonny B 10:46 pm, 12-Feb-2015

Extremely do-able filly. Best thing on daytime/early evening TV.

Allen 12:11 pm, 4-Mar-2015

Catherine or Gorgeous - words quite interchangeable in the case of this lady !

Dave 2:43 pm, 19-Mar-2015

I love watching Bargain Hunt

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