Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

10 Pneumatic Celebrity Arses We Love

by Jack Collins
12 November 2014 31 Comments

We're rolling out the celebratory round derriere gallery...

10. Kim Kardashian

There’s only one thing I like about Kim Kardashian. Whether or not her arse is fake, there’s no denying that it is a formidable rump, one that caused Twitter to melt the morning she posted an instagram shot of it.

9. Beyonce Knowles

Stole J-Lo’s diamond encrusted butt-plug for most-beloved uber-celebrity arse around the time of Crazy in Love and, although she hides it under a bushel, it’s clear that her boot is filled with more that two guide ropes, a pair of football boots and dog-eared copy of the London A-Z.

8. Rita G

“I don’t think Playboy has enough ass. But the best girl you had in the past three years has to be Rita G… She’s got an ass even white people like.” The words of known bullshit talker Kanye West about Rita G, who he also cast in his Flashing Lights video. She doesn’t watch TV, takes no alcohol or drugs and gets loads of sleep, so it’s probably a good thing her ass is a thing of beauty because she sounds as much fun as an enema with Hydrochloric Acid.

7. Anna Falchi

It was sometime in the mid-90s that I was alerted to the many talents of the Italian/Finnish MAW Anna Falchi and, despite her being semi-retired from modelling these days, the mere mention of her name leaves me unable to concentrate, and as for the picture above, let’s just say I wear glasses. Thick ones.

6. Nicki Minaj

You might hate her music, despise her wigs and worry about her penchant for dressing like an inter-galactic bag lady, but by Christ has Nicki Minaj got an arse that could crash a thousand ships. Rumous that she had a sex tape nearly broke the Internet.

5. Christina Hendricks

If you’ve seen Mad Men, you know the scene like the palm of your hand. In her signature red dress, Joan Holloway bends over to apply lipstick and leaves every man in the office drooling at the roundness of her rump. The best water-cooler moment in recent memory.

4. Vida Guerra

With enough best ass awards on her mantelpiece to make you wonder if she feeds from a nosebag and lives on Blackpool beach, Vida Guerra owes everything to her ‘fanny’ as Americans like call it. Came to prominence in the US FHM in 2002 and, unlike everyone she meets, has never looked back.

3. Serena Williams

Serena might have a claim to be the best female tennis player ever, but my favourite moment of any Wimbledon is when Barry Davies struggles to breathe as her skirt flies up to reveal what, on first glance, appears to be a pair of oversized-cycle helmets bound together with Gaffa tape.

2. Buffie Carruth

If there was a Heavyweight Booty Championship of the World then Buffie ‘The Body’ Carruth, measuring 34-27-45 (FORTY-FIVE) would be the Sonny Liston of bottle and glass. With Tasty tattooed on her right cheek, she is certainly in no doubt of the G-string quaffing majesty of her behind and has become a very rich woman indeed for having a rear that, in her dotage, will probably need its own shoes.

1. Tameca Freeman

With no love lost between her and rival Buffie, Tameca is, undisputedly, the Muhammed Ali of ass. Although I doubt she does much floating, Tameca is a sensation in America and, had she been at the Royal Wedding, Phillip and Harry would’ve no doubt shared a disgusting joke about rings and fingers and been slapped by the Queen.


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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Simon Martin 9:01 am, 5-May-2011

What no Tony Yeboah? Oh, right we are perving, sorry, carry on. Hold on, Serena Williams? Yeboah should be on there, Hasselbaink and Vassell too.

Funny bob 9:38 am, 5-May-2011

Pippa Middleton's arse is like a JK Rowling Book. You know Harry's gonna be in it...

ARSEn Wenger 9:49 am, 5-May-2011

This is just a list of people with huge arses for which the author clearly has a bias for. In 5 years time these girls will need a wheelbarrow to carry the cellulite train-wreck their carrying behind them. Give me Middleton anyday, or Tony Yeboah. Man that Yeboah had an ass that wont quit.

Sifaeli 9:57 am, 5-May-2011

Know your onions.

nash 11:07 am, 5-May-2011

i loooveee dem!

neil mitchell 11:41 am, 5-May-2011

Best article ever.

Keith Hehir Lynch 3:24 pm, 5-May-2011

Have you air brushed me out of the Kim Kardashian pic? I'm sure that's the one with my nuts resting on her shoulder...

2starsonmeshirt 1:01 am, 6-May-2011

Anyone care to guess how much S*** falls out of these buttocks each day.

Adidass 10:31 am, 6-May-2011

Anyone heard of Alexis Texas? On top of the X-rated game

Lee g 9:55 am, 8-May-2011

Hasselbainks missing

Binky McIntyre 6:01 pm, 9-May-2011

Wha'appen blood? 'Ow come no skinny white chick bootie?

Bunty McCunty 9:44 pm, 9-May-2011

I do not see what right the inane oik who wrote this has to compare somebody of the class of Pippa Middleton to this collection of gangsters molls,you state you were overseas(Benidorm I presume)at the time of the joyous Royal celebrations,so I gather you did not partake of wishing well Will Wales and his beautiful new wife,shame you returned I say.

Gavin of London 4:14 pm, 11-May-2011

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

The Becks 6:49 pm, 7-Oct-2011

Bunty McCunty...the name says it all!

Martin Quirk 7:48 pm, 7-Oct-2011

'I got dick for days, you got ass for weeks' ... Ice Cube.

BigRed1 10:21 pm, 7-Oct-2011

Check out Kate Upton... Dats all I'm saying coz I'm off to the toilet now and I might be some time...

Vishal 9:59 pm, 24-Nov-2011

Thank you for an article devoted to my favourite thing in the world: perfect, round, ample female buttocks.........and no better way to start it than paraphrasing the best TV show ever....... But, buttocks beat Breaking Bad

Ian Hough 8:24 pm, 5-Apr-2012

Arse is where it's at Owen. And fanny, obviously, but arse, fanny and legs are the holy trinity of wanki- I mean shagging. Those tit men don't know nowt.

Blake Carrington 5:42 pm, 17-Oct-2012

Mel Sterland.

Jill Swan 5:46 pm, 17-Oct-2012

hang on, where are the mens asses?

Scotty dog 7:01 am, 18-Oct-2012

Christina Hendricks all day

tony dodge 3:59 pm, 18-Oct-2012

of course, it's from an old joke long before breaking bad: Q: what do you get when you cross and onion with a donkey? A: an ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Private equity capitalist 8:28 pm, 19-Oct-2012


dirtysexylove 2:29 pm, 8-Dec-2012

No Cherokee D'Ass, no Elke The Stallion, you aint serious bout ass sons.

Big Al 3:39 pm, 8-Dec-2012

The Royals are a bunch of cunts. So my Nan says.

washishu 11:17 am, 10-Dec-2012

As Frank Zappa said "Plastic people. . . Oh baby, now you're such a drag".

baz 5:55 pm, 13-Aug-2013

great till she stands up and that ol' punisher, gravity, kicks in.

carrington 3:45 pm, 27-Aug-2013

I want to fuck every last one of those Women!

carrington 3:46 pm, 27-Aug-2013

I want to bang every last one of those Women!

Danny 7:43 am, 10-Sep-2013

No Alan Brazil?

Jimmy swine 10:13 pm, 21-Aug-2014

Not a fan of the bubble butt - give me a nice toned athletes arse any day of the week. Like the French one Marie-José Pérec, who won the gold in the 400m in Atlanta in 96. Imagine the damage them arses you've mentioned above, would do to your toilet seat.

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