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20 Sex Tips For Men

by Caroline
5 September 2013 108 Comments

For a start, if you call me a bitch in the street I'll punch you in the neck. In the bedroom however, that's a different matter...

1. Everyone is bisexual. Everyone has thought about it, fantasised about it, wondered if a gun were held to their head, could they do it? If they tell you otherwise, they’re a liar. My sexual preference is ‘often’. That’s the only box i’m ticking.

2. Dirty talk is not completely necessary. Statements of fact can be surprisingly effective e.g. “you’re so hot/hard/wet”. And by all means alert the church elders with a pre-climax warning “i’m going to cum, i’m going to cum, Oh Jesus i’m going to cum.” But sex is one of the only times in our excessively over-articulated lives that it is perfectly ok, indeed, preferable to shut your mouth and let your hands do the talking.

3. Don’t try to make up for the size of your dick by slapping me across the face with it. Would you find it a turn-on if I whipped you up-side the head with my saggy tit? Think about it. And furthermore if you grab the back of my hair whilst i’m sucking your cock, your chances of getting head again, EVER, will diminish by at least 98%. Check if face -fucking turns a girl on before you grab her ponytail and ram your cock down her throat so hard that you give her an involuntary tonsillectomy.

4. What is this obsession with men removing all their pubes? Why the ever-loving-fuck do you think it looks better? Your balls are UGLAY. Hide them. Hairless genitals look odd (on men AND women). Don’t let society make you think that your short and curlies are dirty. If you don’t fancy dripping hot wax on to your sack and crack every few weeks, that is fine by me.

5. We can tell if you’re giving us oral purely as a cursory prelude to sex, a “do I have to do this?” reciprocation of the head we’ve just given you. We can tell if you aren’t enjoying it, and it will make us tense and less likely to enjoy the penetration that you are so keen to fast-forward to. A guy once asked if I “took a long time to orgasm?” as if the problem was with my vagina, rather than his shit technique. Get comfy down there, cos chances are you’re going to be in it for the long haul.

6. This is more of a general rule about how to treat your partner, based on trust and sensitivity. If we do/say/eat something stupid when we’re having sex/drunk/high/hormonal, we don’t need reminding of it the next morning. Saying really loudly on the bus “remember when you did a really loud fanny fart and then cried after you orgasmed” will make me hate you forever x infinity.

7. Another general rule: If your mate says something derogatory and you don’t defend us, even if it’s true, we will hold it against you. Forever x infinity

8. Real boobs are fun to play with but look like flappy spaniels ears. Fake boobs look nice but feel like shit.

9. ‘Jack Rabbit’ sex is never good (aka pow-pow-pow-poke-poke-poke-the-quicker-i-ram-the-faster-she’ll-orgasm). This method, reminiscent of teenage fumbles when he had no idea what he was doing and you were too embarrassed to tell him, will hurt and annoy us. Slow and steady wins the race.

10.  If a girl is dry, it’s not her problem, it’s yours. Spit. Lube. Slow and steady caresses. If she’s Saharan it’s time to add a new ingredient to the recipe.

Click below for the next page, or here’s two more like this…

15 More Sex Tips For Men

20 Sex Tips For Women

Pages: 1 2

If you like it, Pass it on

image descriptionCOMMENTS

mal 10:57 am, 20-Nov-2011

bloody brilliant! can you expand on "wide-set cervix?"

dastard 12:25 pm, 20-Nov-2011

Fake breasts not only feel shit but look like shit IMO.

devilwearsprimark 1:27 pm, 20-Nov-2011

"Finger banging is not the one." So so glad I'm not alone on this. Absolutely pointlss, occasionally painful, never pleasurable and not a penis!

Seán Flynn 1:55 pm, 20-Nov-2011

Cheers for that Caroline: at least 20 years too late for an old goat like me but a good read nevertheless!

waibird 2:03 pm, 20-Nov-2011

The perfect Sunday read!

griff 3:45 pm, 20-Nov-2011

thats that all sorted out then! v funny.

Stevo the Devo 4:12 pm, 20-Nov-2011

No.5 Whatever! You've been sleeping with the wrong blokes, I could eat a peach for hours...

Kev C 7:48 pm, 20-Nov-2011

Print out and keep guide!!!

Bonnie 3:07 am, 21-Nov-2011

it's tempting to give copies of this out to every bloke I even consider sleeping with.

GB 10:42 am, 21-Nov-2011

Is this 20 sex tips for men? Or just things you didnt like about past lovers? 14? 7? tenuous links... was the friend involved in the sex and slagged you off? 1 is not necessarily true - as if everyone is "a little gay" (or is gay, a little straight"). as for 19, not all women like fanny batter in the face either, like 4 - personal preference, surely?

Long John 5:05 pm, 21-Nov-2011

Sexual preference is personal preference - this is a handy guide should I ever be in a situation where you want to fuck me... and now that I have memorised your rules I am in a position to give you the best fuck you have ever had... so how's about it?

Matt White 1:52 pm, 22-Nov-2011

This is the worst thing I've ever read. Piece of shit, written by a slut.

Jimmy James Jameson 3:39 pm, 22-Nov-2011

Matt's now off to kill a prostitute.

Mayfield 4:06 pm, 22-Nov-2011

This is the BEST thing I've ever read. Piece of GOLD, written by a...... well it wasn't written by a nun.

GB 5:25 pm, 22-Nov-2011

@Mayfield Really? The 'BEST' thing you've ever read? I'd say read more. This is about as "on the nose" if i wrote "10 ways to please women" based on one previous partner. It reminds me of years back women who complained about men not going down - no one i know has a problem with doing it, i just wonder where these women (author incl) find these useless, sexually retarded men, because it irritates me that we're all lumped in together. 3? 4? 20? seriously? This 'article' is, for the large part, irrelevant drivel and not even entertaining

Jimmy James Jameson 5:58 pm, 22-Nov-2011

Personally I couldn't give a fuck if a woman is pleased or not. Now humiliated, degraded and violated on the other hand....

joel erith 11:02 am, 23-Nov-2011

So, slapping, biting and calling you a bitch are ok but grabbing the back of your head is an Uber no no. It's like you asked your 3 closest friends for their input then quilted this piece together. If you don't want your lady garden dripping with semen then take one in the face for a change.

Vick O 11:18 am, 23-Nov-2011

You shag blokes who drink WKD!?!?

Dick Turnip 7:14 pm, 23-Nov-2011

Not the slightest mention of up the bum though. I shall take it then, that you don't like to take it, up there.

Fauji 1:17 pm, 24-Nov-2011

no offence, but it sounds more like the top 20 sex tips that you want to give your boyfriend. this article does NOT sound generic.

Bob - Not the one who previously posted. 2:58 pm, 24-Nov-2011

Tip 10 Ha!. My job is to get ready for sex with an erection, your job is to get ready for sex with a wet fanny. We both have stuff to do, I can do mine without any sodding about I just have to see you naked, you're the one needs all the messing about.... If I fail to get an erection I'm a useless impotent tosser that can't get it up, you have a dry fanny and it's my fault also? No love, you're a useless impotent tosser. This isn't really how I feel or treat women but your article was so self centered, fuck it, swivel.

Someguy 2:21 am, 25-Nov-2011

Thanks for advice. I'm glad that there exists someone like you who can confidently speak for all the women out there.

Vishal 7:19 am, 25-Nov-2011

Read this as '20 hang-ups I have about men and sex because I refuse to be pleased' Why so misognystic, love?

Jake-gsm 10:36 am, 25-Nov-2011

Agreed with Fauji

The Cush 6:46 pm, 25-Nov-2011

Undo zipper and pull pockets inside out for elephant impression. Got it. Were there some other tips in there too?

joe 9:03 am, 26-Nov-2011

great writing

Daniel 2:37 pm, 26-Nov-2011

Everyone is bisexual? That's ridiculous. If they point a gun at my head and say do it,I will not do it. Your way of thinking about this is just a brain-less way of thinking, because everybody is different than one another.

Dan 11:44 am, 27-Nov-2011

This is brilliant, to the point where my answer is yes too... Would you find it a turn-on if I whipped you up-side the head with my saggy tit?

Spencer the Halfwit 12:04 am, 29-Nov-2011

*Alan Partridge voice* Corr!!! Sex!!!!

Ted 12:37 pm, 18-Feb-2012

1 Talk to each other, say what you'd both like, try out things you'be heard about. 2 keep in shape. 3 wash. 4 put some effort in and you will be rewarded. 5 trim yourself down there, I've got floss in the bathroom if I want to floss. 6 give ME a massage, its not all about you. 7 dress up just so I can undress you. 8 run a bath, get in, call me to join you. 9 tie n tease. 10 remember that time a guy pulled a knife on us and I dragged you behind me as I squared up to him and then he backed away? Remember it next time I annoy you. 11 I don't mind going shopping with you for a few hours, but please try on a few hot or funny outfits to make it more enjoyable. 12 cheeky is good. 13 vulgar isn't. 14 spoil me on Saturday and I will spoil you on Sunday. 15 I am struggling to think of 6 more and I have stuff to do. Bye bye lovers.

DanielVDot 10:07 pm, 18-Feb-2012

This article is for people who fail in bed and like to blame others for it. If you're good in bed,you won't have any problems at it. If you're a fail bitch who thinks that sex is only YOUR way,your future is to be writing these cheesy articles bashing men and making yourself the best,while everyone else sucks. Okay,we get it caroline,you only go to bed with guys you meet at the bar,and you think they're going to be professionals. Grow up and read a book about this,because people are not going wrong on you,you're the one wrong all this time. 1:23 pm, 19-Feb-2012

Cheers, I have a terrible memory so I will be printing this off and pining it above the headboard along with a pen to tick them off as I go along.

Colin 2:09 pm, 19-Feb-2012

Would I like it if you hit me with your saggy tit? Yeah I would actually. I'm getting a boner just thinking about it.

operative101 4:44 pm, 19-Feb-2012

some good points in this....but dear god i would never want to have sex with you! talk about the blame game!

Lisa 12:18 am, 20-Feb-2012

Great read, kinda think 13 sums me up,but must include..feel free to pull my hair whilst repeating "take it bitch".. ha ha, but come anywhere near it after I have just spent 2hrs trying to make it look au-natural,I will break your fingers. ... Ah Ted...what a nice man you sound,enjoyed reading what you wrote.

Bobby Thomas 2:42 am, 21-Feb-2012

Gender double standards strikes again on ST if a fella penned a similar article he would be tarred and feathered!! Cant wait for another article tomorrow from some "edgy"(in reality about as shocking as a tin of corned beef) borderline lesbian, attempting to convince us some shit pop star who walks round with her gash hanging out, dressed like a slut and pretending to be some horny S&M fucked up sex machine(such an example to the CHILDREN who buy her records) is really a bona fide example of a strong, modern independant woman. GIRL POWER!! Well done ladies, equality will soon be achieved by you conquering whores, honestly. Because of your tits, arse and "bits". And literally nothing to do with your brains. Do keep taking the clothes off though. Object status is the goal and superficiality rules.......

Spencer the Halfwit 5:55 pm, 21-Feb-2012

@Bobby, she's not coming back mate, whoever she is. Bin the hate and move on fella.

Lisa 8:18 pm, 21-Feb-2012

Bobby what century are you writing from?..tin corned beef,tarred and feathered,girl power. It seems to me that you spent much of this morning reading various posts on Sab Times, getting angry and then decided to vent your spleen on this post,because you seem to have covered most topics,icluding the "bits" comment I put in an earlier post,plus Rhianna's decline in to hell,I am sure you missed out on the post that covered the "filthy mouthed female rappers,female masturbation could have gone to town on those topics. This article was meant as tongue in cheek. It is the 21st century, women no longer throw their nighties over their head and lay there thinking of England. In future go bloody moan on the correct article. Well if this post then makes me a conquering whore so be it, Girl Power Ive not heard that since the 90s, also I am more of an Adele fan, she keeps herself covered up in a lovely Audrey Hepburn way with no g*** hanging out... Lighten up for ffs!!!

Lisa 8:50 pm, 21-Feb-2012

ah yeah!!, the penny has dropped...same old, same old...

Bobby Thomas 3:48 am, 22-Feb-2012

Well well well, we do have some assumptions here.........Spencer....your wrong. Lisa. Its ME that needs to lighten up? My tongue was rammed in my cheek in some aspects, but, since you asked............ Thanks, but I will "moan" where the fuck i want. No idea about the "bits" comment. I put bits instead of my firstchoice.....cunt. Or Rhiannas "decline into hell" or filthy mouthed female rappers, female masturbation idea if these were posted by you or other people, if ive seen them before, or if ive read anything by you before, or not. Im on here infrequently. I am writing from this century. And if you find my reference to corned beef a little arcane, then allow me to reference something more contemporary but equally unshocking, mundane and mediocre: erm, fucking Rhianna. The latter part of your post is very telling. That if you dont agree with, or pehaps find a litte tiresome, the mass marketing, cos that what it is and nothing to do with female emancipation, of a female pop star as a hooker or some pretend fucked up slut and NOTHING else, you are a sexual luddite who needs to get with the times. Thats just bollocks. There seems to be a trend developing, which is for women to dress up pretty much anything as being representative of a strong, modern independant woman. All part of the sisterhood. There was an article on here, around a couple of months ago that honestly attempted to classify Sasha Grey as a model for female empowerment!! Was that you? If so what century are you from?! And if it wasnt you then the question is redundant. However, i personally doubt if being fucked in the arse by SCORES of fellas in an hour or so, or licking jizz off a toilet seat, or bein brutally facefucked till you vomit over yourself is an example of that!! The "strong, role model words" are now virtually meaningless, as it seems every woman is just that. Ultimately its just sloganeering in this sea of women who are now competing to be "shocking", gasp, by wearing very litle, yawn. And shocking definitely is, apparantly, wearing fuck all. Or even talking about or hinting about sex. Just sugesting it. Because in this pathetic, base culture we live in, it sells, it earns. Its the main reason for Rhiannas "success" and the card that has been played over and over truth the "im a right dirty slag" Aguilera pisstake that used to be on Bo Selecta wasnt far off. The main issue here is the objectification of women. Women have been trying to escape the negative aspects their sexuality casts across their numerous talents, qualities and, yes, even personalities, for as many years as we have been on this earth. IThat powerful sexualit should, of course be absolutely, definitely, embraced. But it now seems to be the only goal, represented as some form of female empowerment. But its not. Its a trap, a cul de sac. It only solidifies the status quo. That women are primarliy objects, sexual objects, that their/her main "talents" are physical and anything else is secondary or, inded, irrelevant. The Katie Price generation of women. Wow. Id say "girl power" but i wouldnt want to offend you. This is despite you knowing exactly what i was referring to, so i take it we are roughly the same age. Fuck it, its well late, im off. Oh, and as for me, im more of a PJ Harvey man thanks. Well, in style, attitude and brunette-ishness anyway. Or Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I just love those ankle length skirts and neck high cardigans she wears.

Lisa 6:16 pm, 22-Feb-2012

@Bobby.. in respect to you If you knew me as a person, you would realise I do agree with you. To clear up some points, I aplogise over the bits mix up,crossed wires, i have no idea who Sasha Grey is, infact I only found out what the word Gash meant the other day,I dont write for Sab times ( have you seen my spelling,punctuation..)yes you can comment where you want..but your comment seemed about Rihanna ( so i presummed why not write it on the post about i apologise).. plus the Adele comment was a joke..(..I am more a 50/60s blues/soul female singers fan, but agree about Polly,seen her a few times,last album was wonderful.)...Right now i will get to the point in reply to your reply to me,about women using sex to sell ...Sorry Bobby..just had a phone call, close relative just been given two months to I will leave it there, kinda think heres a life is fucking shit moment,and if theres a god, hes a c*** disrespect Bobby..lifes to short to argue with someone i dont know...

Bobby Thomas 1:03 am, 23-Feb-2012

No worries Lisa, keep on keeping on.........

Kane 1:30 pm, 23-Feb-2012

Some of you need to get out more... This is a tongue in cheek article.. not a new parlimentary book of laws.

The Becks 3:09 pm, 20-Mar-2012

No Anal???? boring

Chris 3:20 pm, 20-Mar-2012

Quite honestly the funniest thing ive read on here for a while. Beats all that 'Why so and so shouldn't do blah blah'. Refreshing.

V 3:54 pm, 20-Mar-2012

Oh my GOD did some insecurities come up in some men. If you're so great in bed then these tips shouldn't be bothering you at al. These are for the clueless and the selfish, and yeah there's plenty of dudes out there that don't know what they're doing and plenty of girls out there that don't tell them because they don't know how and the situation never changes. This post is not about ALL men. Good for all of you who have a frigging clue. Also, if you were smart like Ted you'd be leaving your own set of tips for women. But you're such whiney bitches that this only reminded you of your short-cumings lol. No need to get defensive if you're so positive this isn't you. Also, Ted, call me.

Mr Controversial 1:46 am, 21-Mar-2012

Always pull out lads, no need knock em up and spoil the fun.

Oh, Reginald! 1:51 pm, 31-May-2012

Really? this shit again? It was crap the first time and guess what? it's still crap. Christ ST, get some better 'saboteurs' or at least not just publish any old rubbish submitted

Dekka 3:58 pm, 31-May-2012

So, at what point do you deem it acceptable to allow the midgets to join in? If the hand to the back of the head was too much...jeez. Those little buggers get grabby...

Colonel Willowby-Gore St. Johns 4:33 pm, 31-May-2012

Thanks for the tips, Caroline. I'm looking forward to seeing your mother later. I'll bring my own lube and WKD thank'ee, though I do agree with a previous commentator about it being a strange drink for a fella, I'll try anything once.

Kiran 5:15 pm, 31-May-2012

this article is total wank. jim jeffries REALLY knows how to please a woman

mr pink 5:26 pm, 31-May-2012

why would you confuse men with this shit?? it's only going to make us worse in the long run if we have to worry about your seemingly endless list of things you want/dont want us to do to you. sex is not a one way thing so if your not having you big 'O' it could just be that you need to relax and enjoy it more? stop whinging and take control of your own sexual destiny? all in all this article is not up to ST's normal standard...but still.....bobby......calm down.....

mr pink 5:30 pm, 31-May-2012

this article should have been called 'how to make caroline kent cum'

BIG 6:43 pm, 31-May-2012

caroline you prune

terry 7:45 pm, 31-May-2012

wtf is this sabotage time? really this article is the drizzling shits,

Kane 12:40 pm, 1-Jun-2012

Rehash - wasn't funny the first time...

Bertie Ahernia 3:43 pm, 1-Jun-2012

Wasn't this originally an article written for Vice? It seems strangely familiar.

Mr Controversial 6:09 pm, 1-Jun-2012

Having been tricked into re-reading this article again from some kind of Facebook sourcery. I have now taken note of all your demands and i am now highly aroused and erect. If you let me know which pub, where and when i can hear your wet vacum cleaner, i shall be most pleased and ready to pleasure you. I am looking forward to giving you multiple orgasms after these valuable tutorials.

Pinky 1:31 pm, 5-Jun-2012

Wow! How about I cum on your tits and call I a cab? I'm sorry but the level of female entiltlement here is just another bullshit male shaming tactic. How about your lucky to suck my man juice, and you will cum 5 times.. Now go fap over one direction, teenage dribble from a simple minded whore. Now go to your man powered battery if u can't find real man, while watching mad men...and read your 50 shades of grey and tell me you dont want to submit to a powerful male.

Toberon & Titania 6:26 pm, 19-Jul-2012

WOW Caroline look how much controversy you ignited! Loved it. Beautifully written, and even if it does make the predominate proportion of men out to be sexual troglodytes, who cares.

Kate9 9:41 pm, 21-Jul-2012

I love it, this article was a tongue in cheek way of just informing "some" men out there that women and men are wired differently when it comes to sex!! The fact that you can get hard by simply seeing something you like is fine and how you are made but physically and hormonally us women require different stimulus to achieve the equivalent result, it isn't your fault and it isn't ours its just nature, but if we want to both enjoy sexual encounters then we need to understand how we both work!! Don't take the article to heart, it was written in such a way to get the point across without being boring as fuck! To be honest if you learn the basics of what women, physically and hormonally, need to get fully excited you will find that most of us are more than happy to partake in pretty much everything you find exciting too, hair grabbing, throat fucking, whatever takes our fancy! Just don't rush it and we will both be on the same page!

Shirts 2:08 pm, 9-Sep-2012

Great read. All the things Ive thought about over the years.

B Raman 5:17 am, 28-Sep-2012

why do wives cool off when husbands want to make love? this is why they go after other women and if another woman gives him a super shot he forgets everything . it is basically the woman who controls a man. a man would give anything for a throbbing vagina over his cock. Kings gave up their empires for this feeling. Look at the great mughals. whu do women not learn that the best feeling a man can have is a climaxing vagins when the penis is deep inside and the lady is squirming with pleasure,

Intimidated 8:53 am, 14-Oct-2012

Hi C Saw the article picture. Decided to wank first, read your article later. Good decision.

Sasha 5:39 am, 22-Oct-2012

Thank G there is someone who agrees with my thoughts!!!! Seriously, found myself saying "yup...yupp...yup" after almost every one. Boys kill me! Loved this!

afsar 11:40 am, 1-Nov-2012

i lve my Ammulu

afsar 11:41 am, 1-Nov-2012

i lve my Ammulu a lot

nasser 3:00 am, 7-Nov-2012


Markxist 12:12 am, 8-Nov-2012

"Would you find it a turn-on if I whipped you up-side the head with my saggy tit? Think about it" Thought about it and yes I would. Not that I'm into slapping someone in the face with my cock. Totally with you on Point 4, but again it's all each to their own. There really is no right or wrong answer in sex. If it turns you and your partner on, then do it. Sex tip articles are just pointless.

Jordopop 1:43 pm, 9-Nov-2012

Haha the comments are a far better than the article!

najeebullah 2:53 pm, 11-Nov-2012

hi iam users

Tigerfeet 11:01 am, 16-Nov-2012

Tips for chicks. 1 lie down legs open. 2 scream like your drowning. 3 fall asleep on my chest after setting alarm for breakfast. 4 mines 2 sugars.

HowardTheHorrible 8:42 am, 17-Nov-2012

Not "everyone" is bisexual. That's stupid. Just because everyone has thought about it, doesn't mean they are. All people have thought about killing someone; but that doesn't make us all killers. Everyone has also thought about stealing; but that doesn't make us all theives. I've thought about what sex with someone the same gender of myself would be like, but that doesn't mean I would do it or that I'm on any level attracted to the same gender. Your argument is invalid.

brian 7:48 am, 25-Nov-2012

1. nope, not once or even a little. And its awfully presumptuous to say that. I am in no way homophobic or ashamed of my sexuality but I have wanted women since I was 6 and have never had the time in my head to think about men in that way. I dont think I can be bothered to read the rest because of that truly awful start.

Tigerfeet 3:33 am, 27-Nov-2012

Yeah but Brian... we've all done a bird up the bum... and as far as i can reserch there is no difference between the male or female poop shoot... it does raise a question... My mate fell for a ladyboy... what does that make him?

bob taylor 11:43 pm, 3-Dec-2012

who cares if the woman likes the sex . Long as i do . Women will find fault with everything you do at some point so what the hell .....

bob taylor 11:45 pm, 3-Dec-2012

Just a thought , how the hell did i end up here !! i was searching for alloy wheels for my octavia ?? ( octavia jokes please form a queue )

Carlton Whitfield 3:51 pm, 21-Dec-2012

yay god bless us. everyone. my tip for the ladies would be - play more snooker and sing in a choir.

Bob 4:35 pm, 28-Dec-2012

"This is the worst thing I've ever read. Piece of shit, written by a slut." Indeed. a complete load of self-centred preferences printed for our entertainment... One woman's preference does not a guide make...

Jenn 5:03 pm, 28-Dec-2012

100% agree on all of this! And to all the guys commenting saying the tips are incorrect - how would you know?!

Alan 5:45 pm, 28-Dec-2012

What crazy people you all are....falling into the trap of commenting on a supposedly titilatiing throwaway internet article as if it matters and.....oh shit

Jason 6:43 am, 10-Jan-2013

What an absolute piece of misandrist hogwash. Let's hope another man never has sex with you again. Sex is a mutual thing - if a girl is not wet, it is NOT the guys fault. Get real, and stop blaming men on everything, you indoctrinated misandrist feminist.

Steven 9:53 am, 14-Jan-2013

Im only 19 and this just sounds like some "her needs type shit." Im not saying that none of this is right but all the writer is doing is bashing the guys and telling us to just do what they want. To get a good understanding of ANYTHING, you have to see it from both PERSPECTIVES. Men want simple stuff, but all women do is NAG. Women should remember that they ruin they own happiness. As for Men as well. We are all just SELFISH

Jess 2:53 am, 17-Jan-2013

Struck a nerve with a few men? At no point did she deny the responsibilities of women in the bedroom or suggest that all men are guilty of these mistakes. Fact is, this is a list of thing that men commonly do that are not pleasing to women. We're happy to do a hell of a lot to please you and we love sex just as much as you do. But most women will tell you, this pretty much sums up all the things that ruin it for us. We're not going to forever choke on your dicks because you can't help but try to face-fuck us. Sometimes we can be dripping wet with lust but then just as easily dry up like a salada because you've made the wrong move. A dry shag is no good for anyone. Take it as a bit of friendly advice, or choose to remain in poor form. Up to you! But believe this, this chick WAS NOT just listing her personal bedroom dislikes. She spoke for women everywhere. She wasn't attacking you boys, she's giving you the chance to realize your mistakes. For those of you that jumped right on the defense.... Well it's pretty evident that you either just realized youre not pleasing your women, or you just don't care.

NawtyPam 4:59 pm, 21-Jan-2013

swtie Speak for your self, this shit's all about u, doesn't av to do with any other girls. i love getting fingered hard and called a fuckin bitch.

ed 4:53 pm, 25-Jan-2013

All right with point 1. Then, why i should sleep with women?. Men are better to live with, to have sex with and i don't have to follow these "rules".

walbeka 5:23 pm, 27-Jan-2013

the thing you are doing is very nice. keep it up.

Sexy&Nice 2:40 pm, 2-Mar-2013

And btw, I do agree with everything she has said and I know that all these are turns down for many many's a pity some men don't care/want to care/are ignorant. Thanks god, my boy is awesome at listening what I like and gives me so much pleasure...I'm blessed!

alex newby 2:55 am, 10-Mar-2013

i think your'e wrong on point number three, fair enough YOU might not like that, but ive known plenty of girls that would actually position my hand on the back of their head for me. More or less asking me to grab there hair and "help them" swallow their pudding for them

The1calledl1 12:36 am, 2-Apr-2013

I checked out the article to find a couple of new ways to please my girl, because i don't want things to get boring. But this article is pretty much a page of you ranting and saying that you don't like men, or that you'll only tolerate a pussy-whipped one. I'm always trying to step the game up and thought your article might be able to give a couple pointers, but I was mistaken.

bnd 10:13 am, 17-Apr-2013

how does 1 - everyone is bisexual - count as a sex tip ? guess these are a little subjective as my gf likes several things u said not to do. for example slapping her in the face whilst callin her a bitch so jts kinda like what u said. glad u saud that about dirty talk too, never been a fan

Rebecca 1:53 am, 12-May-2013

Your clearly doing it wrong.

Jnor 1:37 pm, 1-Jun-2013

Everybody here has not a clue

Fred Palakon 11:40 pm, 1-Jun-2013

Point 15 is simply wrong - a good old finger blasting work wonders!!

Kitty 9:29 pm, 2-Jun-2013

This was a great article. Though reading the comments was more entertaining that the article itself. Some of the opinions people have are just ridiculous. Over all it was a good read

Sanjay 10:51 pm, 23-Jul-2013


billy bob 11:38 am, 29-Jul-2013

What evs slut, ima go face fuck a ho now just cause this is the worst shit ever written.

Aspin Lupin 5:01 pm, 30-Nov-2013

Really wondering about the kinda guy the author sleeps with. I think she either hasn't been with a broad range of guys or is attracted to clearly the wrong type.

Admin 10:04 am, 19-Dec-2013

I want to put my dick deep inside katrina kaif's vagina and want to fuck her hardly.....

sex advice 12:34 am, 9-Jan-2014

You can certainly see your skills in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren't afraid to mention how they believe. All the time follow your heart.

Sarah 9:50 pm, 5-Mar-2014

I realise this article is old but a friend just posted it on their facebook and I felt the need to point out that tip 2 is a rip off of a speech Miranda makes in a Sex and the City episode, almost word for word in fact...

Dustyn Hawley 9:09 am, 19-Mar-2014

This article is really not titled properly. It should be called "What to do if you specifically want to sleep with the author of this article", as it is extremely biased. MANY of these topics are matters of preference! Not everyone likes/dislikes the same things. #7, #8, why are these even included? Try harder

brit bitch berlin 7:23 pm, 29-Mar-2014

bloody excellent...tying in exactly with what I am trying to say...

Jeremiah 4:39 am, 12-Apr-2014

Whoever wrote this has some serious issues and needs to get a life. Stop generalizing your shit for fuck's sake, that's pathetic

Martin 2:08 pm, 4-May-2014

What a bitch! Why publish an article which is basically some old tart complaining about her previous relationships! That's 5 minutes il never get back

hotter than hell 9:04 pm, 17-Jul-2014

Bullshit. Men, this isn't how all women think. I'm not bisexual, I think men look better if they shave or trim their pubes (and they itch my tongue horribly) I love getting fingered (and actually find it easier to cum that way than from receiving oral) and I really fucking hate condoms.

jual paypal kaskus 6:39 pm, 22-Aug-2014

This page definitely has all the information I wanted concerning this subject and didn't know who to ask.

how do you get your boyfriend to want you more 8:04 pm, 1-Oct-2014

Give him single-minded attention, flirt with him, prod him on to talk about his day and work, make appropriately appreciative sounds at the right places and soon you will have him eating out of your hands. When a Capricorn man falls in love he wants it be forever. Nick points out that the real Daisy cannot possibly live up to the imagined Daisy, something Gatsby never admits.

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