This week the gang descend on Dubai;expect sadness, scandal and Francis marching across the desert astride a white horse...
We know from the trailers that we’re in for some shockers this week. Dubai aside, let’s start with the unholy alliance between Cheska and Rosie. Imagine you’re in a park and you see some golden, leonine retriever bounding up to a snivelling rat of a terrier. To paraphrase Azealia Banks, you might think “I guess that rat getting eaten” but instead of engaging in dog on dog cannibalism, they’re rolling around and the grass sniffing each other’s crotches. This is unprecedented. They’re talking about cross bothering Kimberly, who is so gorgeous she only has eyes for God but is causing consternation amongst the Chelsea boys all the same. She’s dating, people are “talking”, Cheska and Rosie are slut shaming. “I want to slap her around the face and say the c word, not gonna lie” yaps Rosie, attempting to whip her hair back and forth and failing to slap her own face. Does she mean the traditional C word-or Christian? Kimberly, barricade yourself back into Church! Burn all your Lipsy dresses and put on some unflattering chinos! Rosie knows where you can buy them.
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