Despite being slated by the press, Roberto Mancini has delivered on his promises for Manchester City and the promised land of Champions League football awaits…

The ‘I f*cking love this game’ highlight of the season?

The semi-final victory over United obviously takes some beating. Sacrilege perhaps to say so but even the final paled somewhat to the sheer delirium of that day. After the final whistle I wept so much there was actual snot involved.

The season ticket shredding moment?

Our meek Carling Cup surrender to West Brom back in September with a team almost entirely made up of youthful debutants. Supporters were incensed that Bobby didn’t seem to value our urgent need to win something this year. Ahh if only we had trusted his masterplan for Manchester City.

Moment that just about summed it all up?

The Poznan phenomenon. Are blues metaphorically turning their back on the bad times and jumping for joy at a new dawn? Or is it simply a daft celebration nicked off some p*ssed-up Poles? The answer probably lies somewhere between the two.

For a singular defining moment however it has to be King Carlos lifting the F.A Cup and getting that 35-year monkey off our back.

Got the right manager?

Bobby Manc has built from the back as all great managers do – we finished with the joint-best defensive record in the league – whilst moulding a rock-solid spine (Hart-Kompany-De Jong-Tevez) that can go on to achieve great things. Opinions were initially divided amongst the blues faithful for his overly-cautious approach but since he’s unshackled our attacking talent the ‘Mancini’ chant is more vocal and heartfelt than ever. Fulfilling his brief to win silverware for Manchester City and secure a Champions League place hasn’t exactly hurt either.

I’m taking it old-school and reforming the Subbuteo league we had on our estate as kids. Just need to find someone who’s willing to be Blackburn. No-one ever wants to be Blackburn.

Player of the season?

The classy colossus that is Vincent Kompany. Imperious, commanding, committed and stylish, it’s impossible to exhaust superlatives on arguably the best player in the Premier League this season. Yet the media and opposing fans were slow to catch on to just how good this lad is. Incredibly still only 25 Vinnie is essentially Manchester City’s captain but, displaying his leadership qualities, allows Tevez to play-pretend with the armband.

Muppet of the season?

Kolo Toure and the slimming pills. Say it aint so Ko.

What would you change next term if you were the gaffer?

Try inswinging corners for a change and employ corner-takers who are capable of beating the ‘first man’.

Which player would you like to sign?

Sneijder would complete Manchester City.

Best goal?

Tevez’s free-kick against Stoke a couple of weeks back was something special but I’ve picked our first against Liverpool way back in August. It was a sublime twenty-five man move clinically finished off by Barry. Had Arsenal or United been the orchestrators each tabloid would have given up two pages apiece to a large reconstruction. As it was nobody even mentioned it.

Football’s biggest tosser?

Gary Neville. He hasn’t even done anything of note this season but as long as he exists…

Player’s tweet of the season?

Not one particular tweet stands out but Pablo ‘Iron man’ Zabaleta churned out some typically heart-on-his-sleeve updates throughout the year. Zabba is fast transcending from cult icon status into a genuine Manchester City legend.

Most inspired chant?

‘Ohh Balotelli, he is our striker, he’s good at darts, an allergy to grass but when he plays he’s f***ing class, he drives around Moss Side with a wallet full of cash’

Best laugh you had all season?

The cult of Alan. Two-nil up and home and dry in a Europa League against Salzburg the Austrians brought on a Brazilian striker named….Alan. Maybe it was the arctic winds that whipped around Eastlands but soon after hysterics turned to hysteria as every touch was greeted with a rapturous cheer. Calls for a wave were granted by a clearly bemused player, and a missed chance was genuinely lamented by the City faithful. Even when Adam Johnson scored a magnificent individual third to wrap things up the chant rang out ‘Are you Alan in disguise?’

Two days later this obscure journeyman footballer had a thousand extra friends on Facebook.

How do you plan to get through the summer without football?

I’m taking it old-school and reforming the Subbuteo league we had on our estate as kids. Just need to find someone who’s willing to be Blackburn. No-one ever wants to be Blackburn.

Any other news?

On the same day that The Sun reported a £150 million bid for Ronaldo this summer we signed a promising young Spanish prodigy for under a million. Sums up the gulf between media sensationalism and the reality of who we are and what we’re trying to achieve.

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