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Ravel Morrison: Manchester City Target Is Football's Biggest Moron

by Joseph Piercy
22 April 2013 46 Comments

Birmingham loanee Ravel Morrison has been linked to Manchester City which could provide them with an entertaining season next term. That is if you're idea of fun includes extortion and abuse...

“one add one is, oh, forget it, I’ll stick to crime…’

Ravel Morrison: Manchester City Target Is Football’s Biggest Idiot

Regarded by many observers as the most naturally gifted player to come through Manchester United‘s youth ranks since a certain floppy haired Ulsterman half a century ago, Ravel Morrison’s career is in danger of stalling before its even started. A lightening quick winger/ playmaker with a stunning left foot (sound familiar?), Morrison has drawn comparisons from drooling football writers with not only George Best and Ryan Giggs but also, rather fancifully, Lionel Messi.

Alas, all this lavish praise seems to have gone to the lad’s head before he’s even had the chance to spit at a linesman. Off-field antics in the last year include several court appearances for assault and intimidating the victim of a knifepoint mugging in addition to a number of arrests for beating up his girlfriend. Young master Morrison (18) has certainly been keeping his club’s lawyers busy although I doubt he is on the Christmas card list of many inside Old Trafford.

Morrison’s regular contributions to Twitter display an uncanny ability to put his foot in it- almost as if he doesn’t realise what he writes (in barely literate ‘street speak’) is immediately broadcast all over the public domain. Take your pick from referring to United’s end of season awards party as “a total joke” and “a crap night”; making inappropriate comments about the Manchester riots and Ryan Gigg’s love life to referring to his recent omission from a reserve team game as ‘a piss take’. It remains to be seen if United’s patience will hold out long enough for Morrison to actually break through to the first team and show the world what all the fuss should really be about. lets’s hope he makes it- he’s a tabloid car crash waiting to happen.

Career High: A stunning all round display in the FA Youth Cup quarter final against arch rivals Liverpool as he inspired United to recover from two goals behind to win 3-2 at Anfield. With seconds left on the clock, Morrison lashed in an unstoppable left foot volley and, ever the diplomat, celebrated in front of 14,000 braying scousers by standing in front of the kop and kissing his badge.

Career Low: Any of the above crimes and misdemeanours.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Mat 3:18 pm, 1-Dec-2011

What a bitter twat you are Joseph piercy. You sound like a jelous little scouser. Fuck off back into your bin you dirty fucking scouser

johnhalloween 3:42 pm, 1-Dec-2011

Are you related to ravel by any chance Mat?

Liam 3:53 pm, 1-Dec-2011

I'd love an example of those tweets on Giggsy and the riots mate. You're obviouslt talking shit because Morrison was inactive on Twitter from July until October. Stop making up shit in an attempt to justify you wasting your time regurgitating an article which has essentially been run in the British press numerous times.

rick 4:18 pm, 1-Dec-2011

i follow him on twitter and he never said any of these apart from the piss take. also hes a right footer and also the guys only 18, from a poor background whats he supposed to do? bake cookies and become a fairy? all those crimes you mentioned have been highlighted cos he plays for man utd. what did the tabloids do when wilshere and stevie 'g' got caught for beatin up a cabbie and assault?

JR 5:00 pm, 1-Dec-2011

a crass article used to get clicks to the site after united were beaten last night. ravel has his problems- wankers like this writer being one of them now it seems. you have absolutely no idea of his background, his upbringing or his personal problems. sure he has done some crappy things but takling into account where he was born, where he was brought up etc i challenege you and any one of us not to have made similar mistakes. get off the kids back and give him a chance. i would expect this kind of rubbish from the sun not sabotage times- james brown- get some decent sports writer ASAP as the current crop are useless!

EponymousBosh 5:04 pm, 1-Dec-2011

We've already heard about this bellend. Typical Manc scum.

JR 5:07 pm, 1-Dec-2011

@eponymousbosch- yes beceause there arent any scum where you come from is there???... look in the mirror mate( if you have one that is).

Adam 5:16 pm, 1-Dec-2011

He looks like a cunt. His eyes are proper close together which is a sign of a 'mental bastard'.

EponymousBosh 5:18 pm, 1-Dec-2011

@ JR - You seem like another Manc bellend too, the kind of thick cunt who doesn't even realise that 'Patrice Evra' is an anagram of 'prevaricate' ... You'd best look that one up in a dictionary, you sad prick.

mufcforlife 5:37 pm, 1-Dec-2011

@eponymousbosch: yeah ryt jus coz tat lying git suarez got charged for racism u strt anusing Evra..go nd fuckin luk in ur shithole u call liverpool nd c..its full of idiots..win a pl bfore commenting...

johnnyw 5:40 pm, 1-Dec-2011

go on tell everybody how you came up with the name Eponymousbosh, go on give us a laugh or will i tell them, 'sad prick' is right

X 5:48 pm, 1-Dec-2011

I would enjoy your work more if you didn't publish it.

Lord Ca 6:04 pm, 1-Dec-2011

He's 18, give him a break. He's still less of a bellend than Suarez.

EponymousBosh 6:31 pm, 1-Dec-2011

Crystal Palace! ... ha ha ha! .... at home! It's a pity that the new George Best; Freeman, Hardy & Willis Morrison (thicker and less talented version of Clinton) wasn't playing ... Oh no, wait, he was, wasn't he? .... ha ha ha! Manc's are such dickheads.

JR 6:35 pm, 1-Dec-2011

@eponymousbosh- you seem like another scouse idiot, who doesnt know his arse from his elbow.. i take it you havent got round to buying a mirror yet.. is that because they are all broken where you come from or have they all be stolen for 'reacreational' purposes? i would rather be a manc bellend than a scouse prick any day of the week.. at least we have mirrors in manchester and arent all wannabee gangsters. keep on living in the past 'son', its where you belong.

ERICTHEKING 6:36 pm, 1-Dec-2011

He's only young and he has sorted his life out over the past year, he was playing with a shit team who weren't on the same wave length as him. He's young and eager, twitter should be banned by the FA causes too many problems.

JR 6:37 pm, 1-Dec-2011

you also might want to rethink your midfield options now that Lucas is out for the rest of the season.. couldnt happen to a nicer bunch of pig ugly squeky voiced cretins!!!... thats you and jay spearing both without mirrors.

EponymousBosh 6:45 pm, 1-Dec-2011

Mind you it's probably for the best that Man U got knocked out at home by a Championship team, they might have drawn City in the Semis. Cue mass coronaries all over Surrey and Northern Ireland at the thought of being taken apart (again) home & away by Manchester Shitty.

mal 8:14 pm, 1-Dec-2011

jeez eponymousbosh - was school closed again today? why come on here with playground insults, what's wrong with you? at best you're only going to get a similar response thereby reducing this forum to a wannabe cyber hoolie site. there are plenty of those already, please don't pollute this site with your anodyne postings, regardless of who you support, or hate.

yep 9:45 pm, 1-Dec-2011

It's obvious why the author of the piece doesn't like him, ignore the fact he's made most of the pathetic article up, Ravel is a bit too black for those cuddly Liverpudlians. European capital of racism.

Roger 10:12 am, 2-Dec-2011

Ravel is primarily right footed. Poor journalism.

Kev 12:29 pm, 2-Dec-2011

Ravel is a f**ckin gr8 player. No one says he as good as messi, but he plays in similar areas. He makes a refreshing change from all the kids that come through sayin the same bs scripted sh!te. And for the record I agree. It was a piss take he was on the bench against everton reserves. He should be in the first team squad. As should pogba. Morrison is a English talent like no other. Every real utd fan luvs ravel, and we know just how good he is.

Kev 12:32 pm, 2-Dec-2011

For all the scousers that are obviously reading this. I can't wait for the full details of the inquest. Everyone will know what scumbag thievin bastards u are. Even thieve off ur own injured fans.

Jackie 1:54 pm, 2-Dec-2011

Someone said that because his eyes are close togther that its a sign of a 'mental bastard' As a first year student of psychology I can now cofirm that this is incorrect. The eyes have nothing to do with whether your a mental bastard or not. Please dont post such sweeping inaccurate statements.

Dean ,Collyhurst, Manchester 2:59 pm, 2-Dec-2011

Ravel has less previous than steven gerrard and is not a arrogant cunt like him either. As for scousers giving lectures on 16 year olds misdemeanors, how ironic is that. You might want to stop robbing the dead bodies of your own fans before you talk down to others. Not to mention stop defending that Racist cheating scumbag bucktooth Suarez. Liverpool = home of uneducated bin dipping job less murderers. JFT39 - THE ONES SCOUSERS LIKE TO FORGET.

anon 6:28 pm, 5-Dec-2011

this lad is pure class and will no doubt become a great player for united, and his celebration infront of the kop last year wanst bad either in the FA youth cup

JPiercy 12:39 pm, 7-Dec-2011

I don't really feel compelled to defend myself, especially to some of the very personalised abuse but do think I should point out a couple of clear misconceptions in some of the comments above. First and foremost, the point of the Balon D'oh articles is to highlight some of the idiotic off-field antics of footballers in the last year. I am not claiming any of the article is 'new' information- merely a review. This is an established formula in journalism, especially at this time of year. It may seem 'lazy' or 'cheap' to some but you will come across a lot of it in the media over the next few weeks and don't have to read it. I also never said he was predominately left footed, I said he has a stunning left foot which he has (check out some of the strikes on Youtube). The ability to shoot with either foot equally effectively is a skill few English players have. I'm not going to respond to the vitriolic comments about my relative talents (or lack of) as a writer, you are entitled to your opinions but would like to point out that Sabotage Times is always on the look out for new sports content and so perhaps rather than hiding behind your keyboards throwing out cowardly spiteful remarks you might consider submitting an article yourself- surely a more constructive use of your time? Oh, and by the way, I'm a lifelong Mancherster United supporter actually and sincerely hope Ravel Morrison gets himself together as he is a great talent.

mal 3:06 pm, 7-Dec-2011

JP- are you Fergie in disguise? :-)

J Cooper 10:29 pm, 11-Dec-2011

Well said Joseph some football fans are total knob heads.

Ian Hough 2:38 pm, 13-Jan-2012

If this cacophonous squabbling queerbeast racket doesn't cease I'll shoot someone in the neck with an Uzi. Fucking dogshitters.

anon 5:49 pm, 13-Jan-2012

'I also never said he was predominately left footed, I said he has a stunning left foot which he has' top class backpedaling. Doesnt take a genius to work out the you infered he was left footed.

mal 1:07 am, 14-Jan-2012

ian hough you're scaring me man! stand back, he's got a mouse in his hand, don't click it, we were only having a laugh! ( or in other words, fuck off you cyber hoolie tool) that's not an Uzi, it's your 4 inch erect penis.

yoyoy 11:17 pm, 17-Jan-2012

The piece certainly implies that he is left-footed. Also surely a quick spell check would pick up some of these typos? Since when did any team boast a 'lightening quick winger'? Poor.

Coxydoc 7:04 pm, 7-Aug-2012

Blues fan in peace! While you mancs and scousers are beating the crap out of each other, I'm looking fwd to Brum giving this lad a chance. I guess we have a recent history of taking on the 'rogues' of football, King, Pennant, Bowyer to name a few. The kid is 19 for god sake. It's a risk by Clark but everyone should have a chance to redeem themselves

hyclb 12:06 am, 8-Aug-2012

I stopped reading after the words: 'That is if you're idea of fun includes extortion and abuse...' Anyone else spring to mind, any united 'heroes'? *Cough* rooney *Cough Cough*

JPiercy 1:45 pm, 8-Aug-2012

Oh dear...not this again. I've always had a soft spot for The Blues as I lived in the West Midlands area for seven years. I hope Ravel gets his head together as it clearly hasn't worked out at West Ham. He could have stayed at Utd if his greedy agent hadn't turned his head- I fear a great talent has slipped away though- big shame.

Red Samurai 10:50 pm, 12-Aug-2012

Clearly you should ur writing skill in different area. Let me spell it out for you, even for general football enthusiast you sound like idiot and very jealous. Ravel Morrison has made mistakes, but hey, its football, from likes of Giggs , to Balotelli has done it and he is just young give him time. The boy is one of best talent this country has ever produce.. potentially he can be one of world best, but that has yet to be seen. So who ever u r, for a football journalist you are actually biggest idiot!

Ian Hough 10:16 am, 13-Aug-2012

Mal...dude...it was a joke, lad. Calm down.

Chris 7:12 pm, 20-Aug-2012

To be fair, I'm a utd fan and have been for life and I was glad to see the back of Morrison. Wether it was because he played for us or not, beating on women and commiting crimes is still wrong. The kid is an actual arsehole and has no place being in a club like Utd. If he matures, sure, that works, but just giving him a free pass either because he plays for your club or he's young is stupid.

emmanuel 12:07 pm, 9-Jan-2013

i hope that ravel morrison returns to old trafford soon and change his character

suarez's molar 10:50 am, 22-Apr-2013

Everyone has tried to tame this kid who is clearly as mad as a box of frogs in some ways and impossible to reason with in others. We know and he knows that he has talent but i'm sure fergie persisted and assigned people to try and correct his behaviour. I'm also sure that Big Sam gave him every chance but he was still shipped out to Birmingham. He is currently still owned by west ham though. No one wants him while he's like he is and he shows every sign of dropping out of the game as an untouchable. Going to citeh will make sure of that if he stays the same. very sad because he can be so good to watch but players represent clubs.

blimey 11:02 am, 22-Apr-2013

This article is 2 years out of date, what is the point of it? Factually incorrect (Right foot etc) and he's not even a Man Utd player anymore....

CiTyBlUe 11:11 am, 22-Apr-2013

Lmfao, what's this muppet got to do with real Manchester City?. I know for a fact Manchester City are not interested in Ravel Morrison, I've had it confirmed this morning that there are only two players below the age of 19 being chased by City at present and both are a million times better than this Morrison reject from rag land ushited.

Kat 12:00 pm, 22-Apr-2013

His parent club is West Ham now so this needs to be updated! He's been doing brilliantly at Birmingham by all accounts and I don't think West Ham will sell him just yet.

Jimmy 12:34 pm, 22-Apr-2013

Rav's gonna be good. And hes going to be wearing claret and blue doing it. Any Brum fans will tell you.

Steno 5:14 pm, 22-Apr-2013

He's a west ham owned player. Nothing to do with utd. If he's good enough and sorts his head out he will play for us. None of manchesters business anymore!!!

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