Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

The Day I Nearly Injured Giggs In Ill-Considered Jesus Stunt

by Justyn Barnes
1 March 2013 12 Comments

Fans often said the Manchester United wizard could walk walk on water...well here's the proof.

Ryan Giggs

I love Ryan Giggs. Always have done since I first saw him slaloming through defences in the early Nineties. He was responsible for the greatest goal I’ve ever seen – his miracle goal against Arsenal in the 1999 FA Cup semi-final replay at Villa Park, a pivotal moment in Manchester United’s Treble-winning campaign. Giggs had come on as late substitute and had been having a bit of nightmare. Indeed, when he came into earshot close the halfway line, a United fan sitting in front of me screamed: “Oi, Giggs, do you want to join in?”. Which was a bit harsh.

Almost simultaneously, Vieira accidentally passed the ball to our number 11. A few seconds later Giggs was racing towards us, whirling his shirt above his head.

When the euphoria had subsided a little, I tapped Giggs’ former tormentor on the shoulder: “Good enough for you, mate?” The lad at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

Working for the club’s magazine in those early years, I got to interview Giggs a few times and found him to be unfailingly pleasant and friendly. Whereas some players could be evasive and uncooperative, and the odd one downright rude (naming no names… except for Fabien Barthez, who was a tosser), Giggs always could be relied upon to do his bit for the club mag without any fuss. Ironically, given the personal revelations of the last year, he was never one to court controversy, but he understood we needed a few good lines to hinge our articles on and would always give us plenty of time for both interview and photo shoot.

Ah yes, the photo shoots. To show off our ‘insider’ access to the players, we always liked to commission a nice photo shoot to go with our interviews. There were two in-depth player interviews per month, so that meant we’d normally call upon a superstar player once per season. In Giggs’ case, because he was so amiable, it was often twice. So by the time we were preparing the April 2000 issue, he’d already done a fair few shoots for us and I was keen to do something different (by this time, I was the magazine’s editor). And as it was my beloved Giggs, I wanted it to something that did justice to his genius.

Now you have to understand, United had just won the Treble, Giggsy had scored that goal and it is possible that my transcendent belief in him was akin to that of Harold Camping’s in rapture. Thus, after some brainstorming with my team, it was decided that we would photograph Ryan walking on water. Like Jesus. It was Ryan, so he could probably do it.

Just in case he couldn’t, we called a few photographers to try and find someone to make our dream come true. A guy who’d done a couple of good jobs for us before agreed to take up the challenge.I wasn’t sure how much she told Giggs about our plans, but our ever-persuasive editorial coordinator-cum-player liaison officer rang to say he was up for it. We wanted him wearing flowing white linen robes to up the ethereal ante, but she said she drew the line at even asking that, so we’d probably have to settle for a white tracksuit.

Okay. Game on. What could possibly go wrong?

The chosen location for the ‘miracle’ was the swimming pool at United’s Carrington training centre. The photographer went down to work out how to shoot it, measure the depth of the water and then set about building a podium for Giggs to stand on in his garage.

On the morning of the shoot, I arrived to find him in a wet suit, in the shallow end of the pool, standing proudly by the fruit of his labours. A shoot this complicated would normally require a team of assistants to light it and style it, but he’d spent our woefully inadequate budget on making this rickety looking contraption so he was on his own.

Two problems soon became apparent. First, either the water level had changed or our man had got his measurements wrong because the top of the podium was a couple of inches beneath the water level. We were always going to photoshop out the podium, so if it had been a bit high, no problem, but too low and Giggsy was going to look like he was paddling.

Issue two: “Er, how are you going to get Ryan onto the podium without him getting wet?”

It was placed a distance of fully six feet from the edge of the pool.

“No problem, I’ve brought this,” said the photographer pointing to a little aluminium ladder, the type you’d buy down your local B&Q.

“Jesus Christ! He’s a £15 million pound player. What if he slips through the rungs?”

This was in the pre-yoga era when Giggsy was prone to the odd hamstring injury. But these usually were sustained on the pitch, not participating in some stupid-ass photo shoot.

Turns out the snapper had enlisted a member of United’s staff to get in the pool with him. The plan was for them to hold Giggs’ hands as he traversed the slippery, metal ladder. Oh, that’s alright then…

The divine dream was turning into a waking nightmare. Headlines flashed through my mind – ‘Giggsy injured in Jesus stunt!’ And the swimming pool could be seen through a window from a corridor above. If Fergie happened to pass by and witnessed this little scene… it didn’t simply bear thinking about.

But too late to stop now, because Giggs had arrived early, resplendent in a pristine white Reebok tracksuit. It was pretty obvious he hadn’t quite been fully briefed on the madness we had in mind for him. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d point blank refused to do it. There was a huge European game against Fiorentina in a couple of weeks time after all. Typically though, Giggs just laughed as I sheepishly explained the ‘concept’ and got on with it.

Minutes later, I watched, heart pounding, with half an eye on the window above, as Giggs, bent over like a hunchbacked pensioner, hanging on grimly to hands either side, tiptoed gingerly to the podium. I still get palpitations thinking about it.

Thankfully, Giggs made it there and back and Fergie never got wind of the shambles.

So what did we get for risking injury to one of the greatest United players of all time? Incredible pictures… by which I mean badly-lit pictures totally lacking in credibility of Giggs paddling ankle-deep in water. More comical than celestial. My publisher was not a happy bunny, but in my religious zeal/temporary insanity, I persuaded him to let us run with them anyway.

Almost twelve years later, having just witnessed yet another match-winning goal on his nine hundredth appearance, I’m still a believer.

 

If you liked this, then you should really have a look at these…


900 Games And Still Nobody Can Touch Giggs

Manchester United: How To Help Evra Redsicover His Form

Meet Mauricio Isla: The £10 Million Chilean To Spice Up Manchester United

Click here for more articles on Football and Sport in Sabotage Times

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook

Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter

If you like it, Pass it on

image descriptionCOMMENTS

Colin 12:59 pm, 28-Feb-2012

"That boy Giggsy, can shag who he wants". Legend.

Andy 1:23 pm, 28-Feb-2012

Oh, that goal. That goal against Arsenal. Fuck off. If I'd have been brought on as a sub, I'd fancy my chances of outrunning the knackered carthorses Lee "El Rapido" Dixon and Tony "Speedy" Adams

robert wani 1:47 pm, 28-Feb-2012

who dosenot know Ryan Giggs in 1993 against liverpool.i wish he will not grow old.Robert wani from south sudan.

RedScot 4:50 pm, 28-Feb-2012

Brilliant article Justyn beautifully written with obvious affection for the one-man-one-Club United legend. Clearly another admirer of the adorable mosiac of qualities held by Ryan Giggs. He has provided so many sterling moments for all Manchester United and fair-minded football admirers over his trophy laden career. I can only imagine you like all United supporters witnessing the 90th minute goal on Sunday at Carrow road.It was sex on a football pitch.Orgasmic. To record yet another Ryan Giggs inspired win for our great club. The achievement and surpassing of 900 club appearances will likely:No never be equalled. One of the many benifits of un-wavering loyalty to your football Club and not forgetting Yoga :)

TeeJ 4:51 pm, 28-Feb-2012

Nice article, do you have a link to the photos?

Justyn 5:07 pm, 28-Feb-2012

Thanks for your comments, everyone. Andy - I think Ryan's mate Nicky Butt might agree with you. We asked him about 'that goal' a couple of months later and he described it like this: "Ryan got the ball, ran with it, didn't pass like always and got lucky". As for the pictures, TeeJ, I'll see if I can dig out the issue. And if I can swallow my embarrassment, I'll post up the offending pages somewhere!

Tony 3:09 pm, 29-Feb-2012

Yes united did well Saturday to edge past that team who's entire squad cost less than the United Goalkeeper :) Sour grapes cannot however allow me not to sincerely congratulate the two united scorers on Sunday. Top pros, and hats off to Man U for (in the main) 'managing' their players as well as they do. Many other clubs could take a few pointers. Having said that, Unlucky Norwich, proud of you

Joe 4:54 pm, 1-Mar-2013

Is Tony writing from the future?

Joe 4:54 pm, 1-Mar-2013

Because that is fucking cool.

Colm 4:53 am, 2-Mar-2013

I find it hard to believe you were an editor.

Colm 4:55 am, 2-Mar-2013

"The photographer went down to work out how to shoot it, measure the depth of the water and then set about building a podium for Giggs to stand on in his garage."

Justyn 2:20 pm, 15-Mar-2013

Yes, Colm. I was and, indeed, am an editor (and writer) and have been for 20 years. I've edited various magazines and edited and/or written 50-plus books, including the odd bestseller. Hard to believe, but true. As you say, though, one clumsy sentence clearly undermines my whole career.

Leave a comment

Football image description SABOTAGE