AVB FAQ:

• Aren’t you put off by what happened at Chelsea? No.
• Wasn’t his success at Porto a massive fluke? No.
• Isn’t he going to get hounded by the press from day one? Obviously.
• Is he too young to be respected? No.
• Is he actually any better than Redknapp? Only time will tell.

We’ve only been managerless for about four days, but in a shock to the system, it appears that Tottenham are finally being pro-active. Our business, usually conducted at 11.55pm on deadline day, looks to be already in motion. People’s ‘people’ have been hastily contacted, talks are being talked behind closed doors and official announcements look to be coming sooner rather than later. That said, as I write, Jan Vertonghen is as much part of the Spurs playing staff as I am, but that’s a different matter entirely. Over the past few days, the odds of David Moyes becoming our manager have steadily lengthened, with one Andre Villas-Boas replacing him as the odds-on favourite. I for one upon this news breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Luckily, we’re a club with a decorated past, steeped in tradition and set in our ways, we’re not about to go and set that to one side for the ginger George Graham.

I’ve never really fancied David Moyes as our manager. He’s too defensive, his tactics are too reactionary and he wears a tracksuit on the touchline. Where Everton are concerned, he’s done an unbelievable job on a shoestring budget, but that hardly translates to where we are as a club. It doesn’t convey any huge ambition and is an uninspiring step in a sideways direction. He wouldn’t relegate us, but I’m not too sure he’d improve us much either, and I’m fairly certain that whatever happens, it won’t be too entertaining. His record away at ‘the big clubs’ is terrible, and the home one isn’t the best either. Future title contenders? Not under Moyes we’re not.

The way he sets out Everton entirely depends on who they’re playing, his aim isn’t to attack his opposition’s weak points, but nullify their threat going forwards. He plays on the break; focuses on set-plays and looks to win by the odd goal, home or away. Personally, effective as it is, I don’t want to see us play like that. Fergie doesn’t see that he’s got Norwich that week spending his time working out how to nullify the threat of Wes Hoolahan, it’s just not a winning mentality.

I believe that hiring AVB could be in the best interests of both parties. I think we’ll fit, I think we’ll click and I think he’s as close to a soul mate as we could wish to hire.

Chelsea may have won the Champions League by playing typically Moyes-esque football, but I’m convinced that it won’t translate well over a league season, and if Barcelona and Bayern Munich didn’t co-conspire to miss several cow’s arses with several large banjos…actually, let’s not do that to ourselves again. The point is, we don’t have the squad that would lend itself to that type of football, and we don’t have a fan base that would accept it. Luckily, we’re a club with a decorated past, steeped in tradition and set in our ways, we’re not about to go and set that to one side for the ginger George Graham. If Moyes does come in, he’ll obviously get my full support, but after a day’s training where he tries to teach Rafael van der Vaart positional awareness and discipline, I’ll drive him to Schalke myself. With so much attacking talent in our ranks, Moyes would be a waste, and it appears that Mr Levy may well be starting to feel the same way.

So, Villas-Boas, can we be the club that transforms Andre into a giant? Does Andre Villas-KnowUs? We’ve just got rid of a fairly Big Boii, so is it time to bring in Andre3000? I apologise, I got carried away, where was I? Allow me to elaborate on the opening FAQ’s, but first issue a disclaimer as thus; I have managed to convince myself that AVB can be, and will be a success if he gets the job. This probably won’t end up being too objective then, but why would it be? It’s not like the mainstream press play those rules either. There will two positives for every negative, I will mention his suits, I will even praise his trenchcoat and I will definitely be drooling while doing so.

If Daniel Levy succeeds in making A.V.B a Y.I.D, I believe we’ll be in a brilliant position for the start of next season.

But in all seriousness, I believe that hiring AVB could be in the best interests of both parties. I think we’ll fit, I think we’ll click and I think he’s as close to a soul mate as we could wish to hire. The two main reasons behind my confidence are as follows; our squad, our ambition, our style and our hunger mirror that of his unbelievably successful Porto side, and by that same token, are the complete opposite of the aging, self-important, egotistical and fading nature of those at Chelsea. We don’t have any player power, our older players are becoming less important entities of our squad and we have the pace and personnel to implement his tactics with the desired effect. Man for man, our squad is just as good as, if not better, than his Porto side were before they were sold on; all we’re really missing is a Belgian centre-half to partner Kaboul in a high-line defensive four and a record-signing striker that can find the goal with some regularity.

No matter who we bring in, Redknapp’s friends in the press will be desperate for him to fail, and with the added ammunition of his time at Chelsea, if he fails to pick up results almost immediately he could be in for a Steve Kean like mauling. The only thing that AVB will genuinely have in common with Redknapp is that they’ve both been slightly ginger managers of Tottenham, that’s where the comparison ends in my book, but should results prove hard to come by, the red-tops will be falling over themselves to tell us how the grass isn’t always greener, and I’m fairly certain John Cross will be searching the Levy family-tree searching for any distant Indian relatives in order to make his Venky’s comparison finally stick.

I don’t have much more to add, I could spend more time describing how I think we’re a club with lofty ambitions and he’s a young talented attacking manager with a point to prove in the premier league, but I fear I’m steering dangerously close to printing this out, spraying it with my aftershave and sending it directly to him sealed with kiss. In short; if Daniel Levy succeeds in making A.V.B a Y.I.D, I believe we’ll be in a brilliant position for the start of next season.

This was first on Tottenham Hotspur site The Fighting Cock.

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