Two New Yorkers have designed a new sex toy. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, as a single woman in want of a good something, I consider myself quite the expert in these matters and am always interested in all things new, innovative, and, er, up-and-coming.
Twenty-somethings Fine and Lieberman have designed a product set to “narrow the gap” in the enjoyment men and women experience during sex. As in, men nearly always orgasm, women often don’t. The Eva vibrator is placed under the labia majora during sex and stimulates the clitoris, thus making a woman more likely to orgasm if her partner only stimulates her vaginally. Eva’s inventors made a conscious choice not to make it (her?) look like a penis so that men don’t feel threatened by its presence. All of this, they add, is done in the name of “empowering” women.
Is it now?
We live in a world where teenage boys grow up receiving their sex education from sites like Pornhub where they watch woman after woman apparently able to orgasm because their faces are being graced with masturbatory semen. Shouldn't we be “empowering” youngsters by teaching them how to bring their sexual partners to orgasm rather than creating something that means they can bang away to their heart’s content, safe in the knowledge that she’s perfectly taken care of?
And, if we’re really going to go down the “not feeling threatened” route, I’m not sure that it should be the concept of a penis-shaped thing in the bedroom, besides your own cock, that makes you feel intimidated. If I were a bloke, I’m sure I’d be more concerned with my partner’s reliance upon this new invention because she knows I can’t be arsed with learning how to stimulate her in the way she needs me to in order for her to reach climax.
Don’t get me wrong. As I said earlier, sex toys are great! Alone, together, whatever floats your boat. If everyone involved is happy and consenting, what the hell…fill your boots! The thing about Eva, is that it appears to be something specifically designed which enables a guy to use a woman’s body for his own gratification whilst she relies on the wonders of modern technology. It sits uncomfortably. Possibly quite literally in this case; I’ve studied the illustrations.
Maybe this is an overreaction. It is just another sex toy after all, and anything a bit different can always add that extra frisson – especially when couples are trying to spice things up a little after perhaps having been together for some time. For some this might be a giggly trip to the toys and dressing up section of Ann Summers, after which you spend time learning more about one another’s likes, dislikes, quirks, and fantasies. For others it might be time spent alone together: exploring, learning about, and having fun with one another’s bodies. Ultimately, however you choose to change, improve or experiment with your sex life, shouldn't the quest for better sex be mutually beneficial? And Eva could be a part of that, for sure. Trying new things is fun, and both parties don’t have to benefit physically all of the time - it would be unrealistic and idealistic to believe that all parties involved are in a state of heady utopia throughout the whole of their lovemaking. Most of us participate in sexual acts from which we might not gain any physical gratification ourselves, but we tend to accept them as givens when it comes to making one another happy. Let’s be honest people – blow jobs? Who do we think comes out on top there? Ahem. When it comes to sex, we pretty much just all want to make sure everyone involved has a great time, don't we? Certainly, upon reading the testimonials of Eva’s Anonymous Testers, it would seem that many are quite taken with its attributes. BUT, Eva’s marketing strategy with its male/female orgasm statistics and quirky vagina cartoons smacks of “this is just the way it is lads. But if she pops this in, you can jump on and just enjoy yourself; everyone’s a winner!”
So, the Eva. Revolutionary? I don't think so. Unless we take revolutionary to mean going so far round we end up back where we started: women lying back and thinking of England (albeit to an accompanying buzzing sound now – as long as the little blighter stays in place…I should imagine there’s quite some clenching practice has to go on there) whilst the guy can merrily furrow away, empowered in the knowledge that his partner is enjoying this just as much as he is.
Word to the wise fellas, she won’t be.