Hideous Dates #2: The Importance Of Texting A Girl After A Date

I have a running joke with my friends that I only date girls up until the 5th date. Then all the new excitement goes and I lose interest. This was one of those cases. Although it didn’t quite end how I wanted it to.
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
56
I have a running joke with my friends that I only date girls up until the 5th date. Then all the new excitement goes and I lose interest. This was one of those cases. Although it didn’t quite end how I wanted it to.

404

We’d done the drinks, the meal, and the drinks and meal, and now it was the time for the cinema trip. Leading up to the date I had began to get the feeling it wouldn’t work out between us. Sally was very nice, attractive, pleasant and wore dark clothes and had dark hair, something of a personal favourite. It was just there was not much else to her. It sounds cliche but there was no spark. No heat or chemistry, if you like.

I went on the 5th date anyway and as expected we had pleasant conversation, but not a lot else. We walked back from the cinema down Princes St, where, half way down, we parted ways by courtesy of a hug and a peck. Ten minutes later I was back home and automatically had my phone in hand ready to send the “I had a great time tonight. Good to see you again. Hope you got home okay. We should meet up again soon” text. Only, I didn’t really want to see her again. As this thought rattled through my mind, my flatmates had already distracted me and before I knew it I was in bed, asleep.

More...

Hideous Dates #1: The Girl With The Hamster Tattoo

Tantric Sex For Beginners

The next morning I realised I had not sent the after-date text, but work and my hesitance got in the way. 2 more days passed. I thought I’d be fine. Maybe she had sensed my heart wasn’t in the last date and felt the same? After all, she hasn’t text me either. Then, on the third day, a Sunday, my phone beeped. It was from Sally.

I GOT HOME FINE ON THURSDAY NIGHT BY THE WAY THANKS FOR ASKING

She was joking. Clearly it was a joke. Right? This is what I thought initially, then suddenly I noticed something. Or rather the lack of something. No ‘x’ at the end of the text. Sally always put a kiss at the end of the text. I replied. Note the winky-smiley face and the swift change of subject.

HEY! HAHA I KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE YOURSELF ;) HOW HAS YOUR WEEKEND BEEN? UP TO ANYTHING EXCITING? X

It was optimistic at best. A minute later she came back with:

JAMES I DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE THIS KIND OF GUY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT. NOW I KNOW YOU’RE JUST THE SAME AS THR REST. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF A GUY TREATED YOUR SISTER THIS WAY?

She was clearly not joking. And I had clearly upset her. But what was my crime? To say I thought she was overreacting would be an understatement. However I saw an opportunity to say that maybe we should leave things there and I apologised for not texting her to make sure she got home okay. She kept going though.

SAVE IT. I’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? I THOUGHT YOUR WERE A NICE GUY. CLEARLY I WAS WRONG.

I tried to reason with her, saying that I was sorry but that I thought she was overreacting and that I didn’t want to end things on bad terms. She somewhat disagreed:

I’M NOT INTERESTED JAMES. I’M DELETING YOUR NUMBER FROM MY PHONE NOW JAMES. GOODBYE FOREVER.

Wow. Harsh, right? I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Out of context you’d have thought I’d done something heinous or unforgivable. Like slept with her best friend, punched her mother or defecated in the £800 Prada handbag which she so dearly loved. I wouldn’t have blamed her for being annoyed at me not texting, but this!?

In truth what disappointed me and what I couldn’t get my head around was that over the 5 dates she must have seen that I was a nice guy, courteous and kind and so on, so for a reaction like that, it was annoying to me.

I’ve since been told by many a female friend that Sally was clearly “mental” or “crazy”. I kind of hope so, because I’d hate to think all girls would have reacted this way. Either way, lesson learned.

You can read more of James’ work at his blog - In The Space Between All Things and you can follow him on Twitter here @jambags38