What are your top fashion faux pas? Here's my top 10:
Some women who are over the age of 5 and do not genuinely work on a farm wear dungarees. Dungarees. The one-piece of doom, a pair of jeans that just carries on going. Ever heard of double-denim being a disaster? I thought so, dungarees is no exception. You WILL look like an overgrown child. Some may think that by not conforming to fashion, trends and all things normal you can wear dungarees. Well you can’t. Ever.
Why do women continue to do this? I was watching an American show recently, and a character who is a mother of two had her hair in pigtails. Seriously, sack your stylist. Pigtails are for cute school girls, and anyone under the age of 9. When you get to an age of double figures you cannot justify this hairstyle, so you most definitely can’t justify it when your 25.
Leggings as trousers
Trousers are trousers. Leggings are leggings. The two combined? Disaster. Honestly, I have never come across someone who thinks wearing a pair of leggings, with a top that doesn’t cover up the backside (and more importantly, the front side) is a good idea. You can be Kate Moss and it would still be one of the worst things you could do. This is simply because even on the peachiest of bums leggings aren’t complimentary. Yes, they are the epitome of comfort, and yes, they are the best item of 80s clothing to be resurrected. But to wear them as a trouser, don’t do it girls. It’s almost as bad as going out in a pair of tights, but it’s probably less flattering.
Everyone has good and bad underwear in the drawer, but what constitutes as bad underwear doesn’t quite cover a pair of flesh coloured knickers.
Nothing, I repeat nothing, says unsexy quite like a pair of undergarments which matches your skin. Everyone has good and bad underwear in the drawer, but what constitutes as bad underwear doesn’t quite cover a pair of flesh coloured knickers. Note this piece is what women shouldn’t be SEEN dead in, so if you are going to wear your finest fleshies, try not to do it in a Bridget Jones manner and get caught wearing them – avoid that red-faced moment at all costs.
The thing about a football shirt is, actual football players wear them and its fine - it’s allowed. Then men wear them to support their team, which is also acceptable, but also comes with the inescapable connotations of drinking excessively and showing lots of emotion whilst shouting at the TV. Let’s face it, you don’t look at a man who is wearing a football shirt and think about him ways that you probably shouldn’t. So think about all those things, and place that shirt on a woman. Women wearing a football shirt shouldn’t happen. Call me a snob if you like but honestly it is not a look we should be going for. If you want to wear one, wear it to bed. A place where the lights are off and everyone is unconscious.
The world of the shoe is a big place, so therefore the world of comfortable shoes is a big place. So I am putting it to you, that if you don’t want to wear your not-so-comfortable heels to work, instead of wearing a pair of white clumpy trainers, get yourself down to Primark and get some comfy flats for fiver. Just as comfortable, less hassle and quite frankly less ugly. Trainers are for running, the gym and any form of exercise, they are not for everyday use and to wear with skinny jeans (that was aimed at Cher Lloyd). Just like a football shirt, a man can wear trainers in his everyday life and get away with it. Women can’t.
Ah, the bum bag. The accessory that was born and lost in the 80’s. Where it should stay, forever more. However, I have seen many a woman wearing the bum bag as a serious item of clothing and not show an ounce of shame. I must offer a sincere word of advice, and say if you want an accessory that requires minimal effort or general holding, invest in a messenger bag. It sits on your shoulder quite comfortably, no aggravation, no fuss. And it looks nice, which is a significant improvement on a bag that sits around your waist.
Just like a football shirt, a man can wear trainers in his everyday life and get away with it. Women can’t.
The kitten heel. I know, even the name makes vomit literally rise into your mouth. Well I hope it does anyway, because this is the shoe which is universally looked down on by most women. Key word: most. In 2010 a high fashion magazine reported that kitten heels were bang on trend for the autumn. Why? That is literally the only word that goes through my head. Luckily it wasn’t a trend that caught on too well, because kitten heels are buried deep, deep into the fashion closet, where they should stay for the rest of time.
All I can say about tie dye is this: we’re not in 1969 and we are not at Woodstock. Fun for the kids, not fun for a grown woman (or man, in fact) to wear.
Ah, the hair band of the 90’s, last seen on Kelly Kapowski in Saved by the Bell. Yet still sold on market stalls all over the country, do people buy them? I hope not. Quite possibly the worst form of hair tie ever created, hopefully never to be worn again. Especially the velvet ones, remember them?
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