Bog Rolls & Beetleborgs: 7 Mental Looks From London Fashion Week

Viv Westwood facepainted her models and KTZ had theirs look like Power Rangers knock offs. A relatively tame London Fashion Week then...
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Viv Westwood facepainted her models and KTZ had theirs look like Power Rangers knock offs. A relatively tame London Fashion Week then...

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Aloha. Had a good weekend have we? Well, since you ask, I’ve been scurrying from show to show at London Fashion Week, seeing faces old and new and frozen.

Using my expert outsider knowledge, I’m here to guide you through what to wear come Autumn 2013 (yes keep up, summer’s last season).

As I had predicted way back when, Autumn/Winter 2013 is all about colour, although monochrome is pretty big too. Skirts were piling up on the catwalks, but trousers shouldn’t be packed away any time soon either. Flats dominated (high five, sister!) but don’t throw out those ankle-shattering platforms yet. This season referenced the sixties, but the seventies’ free love was pervasive, oh and that nineties grunge thing isn’t going away, and the fifties housewife was hinted at. Colour-wise, head for primary colours, but also pastels, do horizontal stripes but don’t forget the vertical ones, and if you really want to hit the trend nail on the head fully immerse yourself in a nouveau riche but bourgeois, exhibitionist yet conservative, minimal while extrovert vibe. Got it?

Without further ado, feast your eyes on these catwalk treasures.

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You can always count on Dame Viv to trump everyone else. While the other designers were busy making their models look pretty, Ms Westwood was doing this to hers. What we like about this look is that it’s easy to replicate, and dares to be different. You really can play around with this one and see where the thick black lines most suit you. Your face is a paint palette and you are an artist. Go explore, fashion is on your side.

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Remember Big Bad Beetleborgs? No me neither (oh but I do, and I was way past cartoon-watching age when it was televised). Anyway, the beetleborgs (think Power Rangers, but less spandex) had really space-agey headgear and that’s EXACTLY what KTZ models strutted down the catwalk. I can’t wait for the Primark knock-offs.

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We love Pam Hogg because her stuff is mental. This model has actually got some clothes on, which is pretty radical for Pam. Neither are there any whips or chains. But I’m guessing the mask over the mouth has some kind of kinky asphyxiation purpose. Ok, Pam is too good for words, so here’s some more to wonder over…

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Thanks Pam. Ok, moving on.

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Who said loo rolls would never be fashionable? I can’t remember, but they have no doubt been proved wrong by Louise Gray. That’s the superb thing about fashion, you’ve got diamonds on the one side, bottom wipes on the other.

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Like flowers and Thelma and Louise? Well Eudon Choi’s got it all sorted for you. He has subtly mixed some garish fake flowers with some fluffy bits and it’s utterly stunning. Decorating the face, it has a peek-a-boo effect which is very cutesy. We want it now.

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Yes, this photo actually happened. And yes, that is zebra-print fur matched with blue shiny stuff. And hooker heels. Honestly. Speechless. Girl on left got some beef with her mate.

OK, let’s end on something snuggly… courtesy of Sister by Sibling. Finally, fashion embraces some layers.

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That’s all for now, I’ll say au revoir as I nip across La Manche to Paris where the brilliant insanity of Comme des Garcons awaits.

You can follow Anna on Twitter @annadubuis, or for some of her longer musings, check out her blog, Haute Potato