Relationships Archives - Sabotage Times

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FRESH Relationships

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Sex After Marriage: How To Carry On Bonking

It isn’t true that every bride smiles on her wedding day because she’s given her last blow job. There’s a myth that sex for married people is about as attractive as a contagious disease - and I want to set the record straight.

2 Comments Vicky Summers

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5 Ways To Approach Women Without Coming Across Like A Perv

Grabbing arses doesn't work, buying us a drink doesn't mean you've purchased us and shouting 'I WOULD' is not the best chat up line... follow this guide to attracting women without being a tool...

36 Comments Daisy Buchanan

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Hideous Dates: An Exercise In Misunderstanding

Read your texts properly, or an afternoon in the pub can into a murderous hike...

1 James Matheson

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Why I'm Going On The Man-Wagon

It's all well and good being young and carefree, but meaningless shags can only get you so far...

8 Juliet Du Vivier

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Brusque Counselling For Unhappy Couples

Why do people choose to co-exist with partners they no longer feel anything for, and in some cases despise? It all just seems a massive waste of time...

7 Robin Lee

RECENT Relationships

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The Perils Of Being An Independent Woman

All I've got from being an independent woman is bunions, 467 pictures of my dog and a VIP card to Tiger Tiger. Yes it's great for a while, but I ...

30 Jenni Davies

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Hideous Dates: Why I'm Never Sending A Girl Flowers Ever Again

Want to brighten up a girl's day? Well, you'd think flowers would be a great way to do it...

10 James Matheson

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5 Ways To Bag A Man - The Truth

Apparently it's as easy as taking your head out of the washing machine, telling him he looks nice and hanging about at the gym...

6 Olivia James

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"I'm Fine": Two Words And What Your Girlfriend Really Means

Word of the wise to boyfriends and husbands - if your partner says she is fine, it means she probably isn't. Here's what to do when she utters th...

11 Rebecca Pearson

The Rules Of Shagging Your Friends

You can get laid with minimal emotional fallout, just as long as you follow these rules...

10 Comments Daisy Buchanan

How Breaking Up For Greener Grass Made Me a Criminal

Breaking up may seem like the best thing to do, but how do you cope when your ex crops up looking thinner, happier ...

35 Comments Dina Murphy

Why Internet Dating Is Brilliant

Many still see meeting people online as the preserve of the lazy-eyed sex pest. Here's why if you are single it's ...

6 Comments Jimi Granola

The Strangest Sex Fetish You Have Ever Seen

We feel sorry for this chap's poor girlfriend...

2 Comments Sabotage

The Worst Parts Of Being An Adult

Council tax, Daily commutes, accepting the fact you'll never become an astronaut and the emotional minefield that i...

6 Comments Joseph Marczynski

MORE Relationships

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How I Get Away With Masturbating In Public

The eye-watering confessions of a sex fiend. Here's her portfolio of places where she just couldn't help herself, lets pray we can.

65 Anna Puma

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The Do's And Don'ts Of Online Dating

Online dating is acceptable now - here's how you do it properly so you can DO IT properly....

7 Olivia Foster

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Audrey Tautou & 9 Women, Women Love To Love

Some women are so beautiful it doesn't matter if you're straight, gay, bi or an alien from outer space you just would.

22 Olivia Foster

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Forget Valentine's Day: Let's Make February 14th V For Vagina Day

Valentine's Schmalentine's, I propose we knock it one the head and celebrate our most intimate parts...

4 Juliet Du Vivier

The Meat Bouquet & Four Other Alternative Valentine's Day Solutions

No idea what to do this Valentines? Why not present your lover with a bunch of meat or take them to see some posh grot?

Caroline

25 Things That Turn Men On - The Truth

It’s not all about sexy underwear, tasteful lighting and friction. Apparently the men of Twitter want a PS3 playi...

16 Comments Susie Verrill

Mussels: My First Time With A Shellfish Lover

He was a nice boy who loved food, yet being intimate with him was like sleeping with a horse. Eventually I fell in ...

16 Comments Daisy Buchanan

In Conversation With The Sex Jesus

The world's first State approved sex coach helps women rediscover their mojo in the bedroom, and has a list of high...

Daisy Buchanan

What Men Think Women Want (And Why We Really Don’t Want It)

So, you think you know what women like? You're wrong, you idiot...

38 Comments Daisy Buchanan

MORE Relationships

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Confessions Of A Shallow Man #3: My Worst Shag Ever

I was in the midst of a three month dry patch and would have felt-up a turnip given the chance; step forward Shauna, the gassy Welsh lass who can...

7 Jimi Granola

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Do Believe The Skype: A Beginners Guide

If you know about it you use it, if you don't you should, here's the free communication technology Captain Kirk could only dream of. And an anecd...

2 James Brown

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I'll Always Cherish My Dad

As someone who shared a quietly close bond with my Dad involving weekly trips to the football, looking back wistfully now, I’ve learned the imp...

3 Neil Howson

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10 Ways To Finish Your Relationship On Social Media Without Being A Berk

It's all gone Pete Tong between you and your partner, and you're behind on your status updates. We suggest 10 ways to make social media work to y...

2 Sarah Reeson

First Date Hell: I Spat Phlegm All Over His Shirt

The booze was flowing, my jokes were getting funnier and everything was going swimmingly. Then it happened...

5 Comments Shelley Hammond

How Gay Rappers Can Lead The Way In Keeping It Real

Frank Ocean’s steps to "come out" as a gay man are significant, precisely because they’re so unremarkable. Ther...

3 Comments Joel Blackledge

"That Will Never Happen To Us" - 5 Films You Shouldn't Watch With Your Partner

Next time you're planning a quiet night in with a DVD and some popcorn, maybe it's best to avoid these 5 films. You...

2 Comments Edward Leigh

Fashion & Style

The Hair Agreement

When the time comes to shave his long hair short a man should prepare his loved ones with an advance warning in the...

1 Comment Daniel Ruiz Tizon

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Disgruntled Wife Exposes Her Cheat Of A Husband Via Massive Billboard

If ever there was an example of why you should never cross a woman, here it is...

1 Sabotage

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Proposing To Your Man: Gaga Did, Should You?

Men are trembling in their bachelor boots as the leap year grants hoards of women the chance to propose to their fellas, but do the girls really give a shit...

Suzie Smith

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It's A Leap Year So I'm Training My Man To Be A Wife

What better way to celebrate February 29th then train my boyfriend to be my wife. Where's my dinner, bitch?

22 Jenni Davies

Tattoo Of Boyfriend's Face Leads To Bizarre Facebook Break-Up

A gesture of love, trust and companionship.. or 'the stupidest thing I have ever seen' according to the, now ex, bo...

4 Comments Sabotage

The Evolution of Dating: The Three Stages Of Man

According to my study based on both scientific and anecdotal evidence (ok, mainly anecdotal), three separate phases...

6 Comments Juliet Du Vivier

Thoughts For The Day: The Volte-Face

A May-to-December romance purely for financial gain is a tricky venture and needs to be assessed properly. After al...

6 Comments Daniel Ruiz Tizon

How I Converted My Boyfriend To Bruce Springsteen

The Boss has announced that he'll headline Hard Rock Calling and the Isle of Wight next year. Here's how I forced m...

29 Comments Shelley Hammond

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